28. Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Parker
“What’s wrong with you?” Weston asks me as soon as he steps into my apartment.
“Nothing,” I say, staring at the TV. I don’t even know what’s playing.
“Dude, you’ve been holed up in here for days.”
I shake my head. “I’ve just been working from home for a while.” In truth, I was hoping I’d be here when Amy moved her things ... but she managed to pack all her stuff up while I was at work—making arrangements to work from home. Granted, at the time, I had no idea what I was even going to say to her, having been completely blindsided by her confession of love, so maybe it’s for the best.
“You look terrible.” Weston steps out in front of the TV, blocking my view. “What’s going on? Where’s Amy?”
“She’s gone.”
His eyes widen. “Like, gone gone or moved out?”
“She moved out.”
“Okay.” He narrows his eyes at me before reaching for the remote and turning off my TV. “You’re acting like someone died,” he says, taking a seat across from me.
“Yeah, well, we’re not friends anymore. I still sent her the tickets to the band she wants to see, though.”
“Ah, so you lost the bet, then?”
“Nope. I won.”
“Okay, I’m really freaking confused.” Weston lets out a flustered sigh. “What the heck happened? Did you sleep—”
“No.” I groan, my head dropping to my hands. “It’s not that at all. I—I ruined her freaking date with Dalton because he said something about her being a nervous kisser, so I told him that she’s a really good kisser.”
“Oh.” Weston runs his fingers through his hair. “So, the guy is a jerk.”
“No,” I reason, lifting my head to meet his eyes. “ I am the jerk.”
“How? ”
“I ran the guy off. It was an accident. But then, Amy and I were arguing about it afterward, and she ended up admitting she’s in love with me.”
His jaw drops. “What?”
“Yeah...” And that’s all I’ve been able to think about since those three words left her mouth. At first, I was in complete shock—and then I thought maybe I led her on, but then...
Then I realized that I feel things for her, too.
But I couldn’t bring myself to admit it to her in the moment. Because it felt as if fear itself was gripping me and choking the words in my throat as images of past brokenness and the looming threat of heartbreak surged to the forefront of my mind. I was too scared to face the truth—too scared of what it could mean for our friendship and for myself.
So when she walked away, I let her go without a fight.
“So...” Weston glances around. “I take it you didn’t say it back and it’s not a happily-ever-after situation...”
“Not even close. I virtually lost my ability to speak.”
“Oh jeez.” He groans. “That never goes over well with women.”
“No ... no, it doesn’t. And considering it’s been days since we’ve spoken, there’s pretty much no chance I’ll ever be able to make things right with her—and I don’t even know where I’d begin.”
“Well, for starters, you could tell her you’re sorry,” Weston says, giving me a look. “I had no idea that she was falling for you like that, but I knew you were.”
I shake my head. “I assumed it was just a silly crush. I didn’t realize that I’d gotten in so deep until now. I feel like I’m going through a horrible breakup, and we never even dated.”
Weston chuckles. “So, you’ve been pounding down the ice cream?”
“Ha ha,” I say, warily glancing toward the kitchen, thinking of the tubs in the trash. “Maybe a little.”
“So, let me get this straight. You ruined her date. Then she told you she loves you , and now she’s moved out and gone without another word?”
“Yeah ... I emailed her the tickets to The Band Allen this morning.”
He gives me a look. “Oh boy.”
“What? I thought it was a nice thing to do.”
“Uh, did you say anything else in the email?”
“No, I didn’t. I figured she wouldn’t want to hear it, so I just sent the tickets, because, even though she technically lost the bet, it was all my fault. I’m sure she can find someone to go with her to the concert.”
“For someone who’s always the first to give relationship advice—despite being a total cynic—you’ve got this whole thing all wrong.” Weston huffs, leaning back on the loveseat. “And you’ve yet to tell me the most important thing...”
My stomach flips. “What’s that?”
“Do you love her ? ”
I tense my jaw. “It doesn’t matter. Even if I did ... I don’t want to get hurt. I don’t—”
“Parker,” Weston interjects, holding up a hand. “Do you love her?”
I let out a ragged sigh. “Maybe.”
He rolls his eyes. “Okay, so why are you not with her? Because from my perspective, you’re the only reason you’re not happy right now. You’ve been so caught up in not getting hurt that you’re hurting yourself in the process.”
“You make no sense.”
“Yes, I do,” Weston argues. “That’s your whole problem, Parker. You look at what happened between your mom and dad—and even your sister—and just blindly assume that it’s your destiny, too. But you’ve yet to ever look at yourself. Look at how different you are from them. You’ve worked so hard to get where you are, and you’re genuinely content with your life. You’re not some serial dater, and you’ve never tried to find someone just to fill a void. You are protective and supportive of the people you love. You give more than anyone I’ve ever met. You care for people so genuinely. And you have so much to offer. But the moment something turns romantic, you run. And I get it. I understand why. And I’m not trying to diminish what you’ve been through. But Parker ... you’re not your parents.”
“You don’t know that,” my voice breaks.
“I do. I do know. Everyone knows that. And you deserve to find love. ”
I close my eyes. I know he’s right. I’m not my parents. But it doesn’t change the fact that I royally messed up everything between Amy and me. “I’m the biggest red flag of them all, Wes. I’m not the kind of guy she deserves.”
“We all make mistakes. I’m pretty sure that dating someone while secretly being in love with someone else is a pretty big red flag—and that’s what Amy was doing. I mean, think about it—she lived with you while apparently secretly pining for you. I’d never be okay with dating someone who was in that situation. But again, everyone makes mistakes. It doesn’t mean they deserve to be completely written off.”
I nod. “I should’ve taken up for Amy more at dinner—and tried to help Dalton understand that I’m the problem, not her.”
“I think maybe you were just so focused on winning the bet—and on not falling in love—that you were burying and ignoring your feelings for her. But subconsciously, I can almost guarantee you never wanted things to work out between her and Dalton.”
I snort. “It wasn’t all subconscious.”
“Cool, then go fix it.”
I hesitate. “But ... I don’t know how to do that. I don’t even know where to start.”
Weston raises an eyebrow. “You start by being honest with her. Tell her how you feel. Apologize for messing things up and for not acknowledging your own feelings sooner. You owe her that much, at least. ”
“Okay, but then what? We just live happily ever after? I don’t even know how to be in love.”
“You learn, Parker. You figure it out as you go. You talk, you listen, you make compromises. You take a chance and let yourself be vulnerable. Love isn’t about having all the answers or being perfect—it’s about being willing to try, to grow, and to be there for each other through all the ups and downs. And let’s not forget, you are one of the most loving people I know. You care for your friends and your family. You put their needs above your own. Heck, you went to how many singles events just to support me?”
“Too many.” I chuckle.
“Exactly. You know what to do. Now go embrace those warm fuzzy feelings and get your girl before it’s too late.”
My girl.
My mind flashes to our mind-blowing kiss on New Year’s Eve. To the way she lights up a room the moment she walks in. The way her eyes sparkle when she talks about her passions and the way her laugh fills me with a warmth I’ve never known. The way she smiles in the morning and the way she rambles about her day—her quirks, her dreams, her fears (or lack thereof). The way she acted like the small cut on my finger was a big deal and how she gently bandaged it up, fussing over me with such care.
Then my brain flashes to how she looked at me when we stepped into the restaurant with Dalton and Maeve....
And the pain on her face when I just couldn’t get the words out after she professed her feelings to me .
I let her walk home alone.
“You can fix this,” Weston says in a reassuring voice. “I know you can.”
I swallow hard, terrified by the thought. “I don’t know how well she’ll take it after everything...”
Weston shrugs. “If you don’t, you’ll regret it. And personally, I think the regret of a love never explored is much more painful than that of a love lost.”
“I think you should be a poet,” I joke. “You have a way with words.”
He shrugs. “Your sister thinks so, too.”
I narrow my eyes. “What?”
“Nothing. Let’s focus on you and Amy right now.”
As much as I want to not do that, I relent. I need to fix this ... I just don’t know how.
But I’m determined to figure it out.
Hours later, I’m searching Facebook for Eliza Walters, Amy’s best friend from Chicago—er, well, they met in Chicago. Amy told me the story a million times, but the name of the tiny town that Eliza lives in now still escapes me.
Which has made it a bit harder to find her .
I just need to know if Amy found someone to go to the concert with before I reach out to her...
A knock on my door grabs my attention, and I halfway expect Weston to come prancing in again for another pep talk. But whoever’s there doesn’t let themselves in.
They knock again.
Letting out a sigh, I abandon my spot on the couch and head for the door, peeping through the tiny hole.
You’ve got to be kidding me.
I almost don’t answer but can’t bring myself to ignore it. So, I swing the door open, my father’s face greeting mine. “Hey, Pops.”
“Hey, son. Happy Valentine’s Day,” he says and steps inside. I can count on one hand the times he’s been to my place, and the fact he’s here makes me wonder if he needs something.
“You, too,” I say, hoping he doesn’t notice the bouquet of roses on the table. It’s not only Valentine’s Day, but it’s Amy’s birthday, too. And assuming she doesn’t already have a date for tonight, I didn’t want to go empty-handed. “So, what’s up?”
“Well, I was in the neighborhood, so I figured I’d stop by and see what you’re up to today. Being single on Valentine’s is never fun, so I thought maybe we could...” His voice trails off as his gaze shifts to the kitchen, seeing the flowers and cards—yes, cards plural because I had to cover two significant events. “You got plans tonight?”
I bite my lip. “Yeah, I do.”
“Really?” He raises his brows. “You got someone special? ”
“Uh...” I rub the back of my neck. “More like I want to have someone special. I messed it all up, but I’m hoping I can somehow make it up to her.”
He nods, giving me a sympathetic smile. “You know, I know how that goes.”
Oh no...
I don’t want to hear another one of his failed relationship stories. It might scare me right out of reaching out to Amy. Professing my love is not something I’ve ever done.
“After your mom left me—for good reason—I met someone.”
Okay, this is new.
“You met someone?” I force myself to engage.
“Yeah, her name was Susie. She was really something special, but I was so scared that it would fail—that I would fail—just like what happened with your mom, that I sabotaged the relationship and quickly fell into my old patterns.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t one of my brightest moments. I’ve made a whole lot of mistakes in my life, some with more impact than others. And look, I know that the divorce between your mom and I was really hard on you kids, but we had our share of problems. We only ever got married because we got pregnant—don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful for you and your sister, but we were just doing what we thought was right at the time. It was never gonna work between us. We know that now.”
I shift uncomfortably. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He nods. “Your mom and I are just not compatible. Our relationship wasn’t good, but ... my relationship with the woman I met after your mom was . I regret not chasing her. I still think about Susie now, all these years later.”
“Why don’t you reach out to her?” I reason, my palms starting to sweat. “I mean, I know it’s been a long time...”
“Well, I think about it every once in a while, but then again, I’ve let a lot of time pass, and I always come up with excuses not to.”
“I’m pretty good at coming up with excuses,” I confess, shrugging my shoulders. Like trying to ensure Amy’s not already going to the concert with someone else before even reaching out to her. “And until now, I didn’t even really realize I was making them.”
Dad laughs. “Yeah, I know. You got that from me, but I’m pretty sure that’s about all you got from me. You’re cut from a much different cloth. You’re a great man, Parker. And I don’t want to see you let my mistakes—or your mother’s—keep you from finding happiness.” I nod slowly, absorbing my father’s words as he continues. “I know that I haven’t set the best example for you. I let way too many women come in and out of your life over the years while simultaneously harping on how bad love is and how nothing good ever comes from it. But I shouldn’t have done that. Because the truth is, I’d go through all the heartbreak over again for you and your sister. Love and family are worth it, son.” He claps a hand on my shoulder, his expression sincere.
“I’m starting to realize that now,” I admit .
“Good.” He smiles. “And I’m sorry that I wasn’t a better father to you. I’m sorry that I turned my relationship with you into a competition with your mom. But I hope you know that I am so proud of you. Because, despite all the chaos, you somehow managed to rise above it. Our family may be dysfunctional, but I have a good feeling you won’t be.”
“Thanks, Pops. I love you. And I appreciate you coming by today.” I give him a tight hug, feeling a rush of emotions.
What’s happening to me?
I’m becoming a ball of mush.
He pats me on the back before pulling away. “I love you, son. And hey, don’t let this Valentine’s Day slip away without at least trying to make things right with this girl. Life’s too short for regrets, trust me.”
A lump grows in my throat, and it only confirms that my crazy idea for tonight is the right thing to do.
Because as I stand here in front of my dad, it hits me...
I do know exactly what Amy needs.
And for the first time, I think I can actually give it to her.
I just need to make a few phone calls.