Chapter 57 #2
“I did,” Ludovicus said, his voice firm but filled with that same regret.
“It may not have been of my own will, but I still committed the act. And I lived with the knowledge from that day forward that you, my son , were out there somewhere, and I needed to stay far, far away from you. The moment I saw you in Blindbarrow, I knew who you were. But you were a man, not a boy. What good would it have done to tell you the truth then, to intrude on a life I had no part of?”
An agonized groan left Miles. Cielle wept harder.
“Are you sure about this, Ludovicus?” Solise asked cautiously as she pulled out a small pouch of something that looked like white pins. “You won’t survive it.”
“Absolutely,” Ludovicus said, looking up at the healer for only a moment before his eyes found his son once again. Miles’ head was shaking wildly. “Yes. For the sin I committed against you and your brother, from stealing your mother from your life. You should’ve had her. You should’ve had me, too.”
“N-No,” Miles grunted. He repeated it over and over, through gritted teeth. “Let me die!”
There was conviction on Ludovicus’ face. “I’m sorry, my son.”
“ N-No !” Miles sobbed.
Ludovicus nodded to Solise, and amid Miles’ protests, she pulled one of the white pins from her pouch and shuffled to Miles’ side.
“This is a needle made of a sheep’s bone,” she explained as she reached for Miles’ arm.
He tried to pull away, but the seizing of his muscles was so strong, he had no control.
Ludovicus reached for his hand, holding it carefully to the ground so Solise could pierce the needle through the skin of his forearm.
“And this is a piece of tube made from leather. Together, they’ll allow the blood to drain from your body.
Ludovicus, would you mind handing me that bowl there? ”
He moved quickly, retrieving the small bowl from her bag and placing it beside her. Miles’ agonized groans grew louder as Solise attached one end of the tube to the needle in Miles’ arm and placed the other in the bowl, which quickly began to fill with blood.
“Just l-let me die,” Miles begged.
“No,” Ludovicus said. “Let me be your father, just this once. ”
Cielle pressed Miles’ hand to her mouth, silently praying against his skin.
It only took a few minutes before Miles’ face slowly paled, his lips going gray as beads of sweat broke out along his hairline.
The tremors slowed in speed, their intensity waning as the bowl filled.
Solise emptied it in the forest before bringing it back and letting it fill again.
“He’s going to die,” Cielle sobbed, staring down at his face. Miles’ eyes were heavy, his head slowly lolling back and forth, but he was looking at her.
“Almost,” Solise murmured, her eyes intent on the rising level of blood in the bowl. “Okay, Ludovicus.”
Without another word, Ludovicus extended his forearm toward Solise.
Tears welled in his eyes as he stared at his son.
Solise produced another needle from the pocket of her cloak.
He winced as she pushed it through his skin, and as soon as it was in place, she pulled the loose end of the tube from the bowl and attached it to the needle in Ludovicus’ arm.
“Keep your arm up,” Solise said quietly.
“Like this?” he asked, his arm hovering in the air.
“Yes.”
Part of Ludovicus settled in that moment. I could almost feel it in the air, a turbulent, whirring energy that slowed to a warm hum. The lines in his face didn’t seem so deep. There was no fear hardening his features, just a slight smile as his free hand stroked over Miles’ hair.
Miles’ color began to creep back in as Ludovicus’ paled.
I stepped in to hold his arm up when he grew too weak to do it himself.
“Thank you for everything,” I murmured to him, and though he didn’t answer, I knew he heard me.
It wasn’t long before he was too weak to sit beside his son, and he slowly lowered himself to the ground, his free hand closed around Miles’ arm.
“Thank you, Ludovicus,” Cielle whispered, her eyes puffy .
“Vic,” he breathed, his voice so weak I almost didn’t hear him. Ludovicus would’ve been the name reserved for the Saints. And I’d been speaking it freely.
He went silent then, his eyes fluttering closed as his breathing began to slow.
I wasn’t sure the exact moment he died. I was vaguely aware of Solise’s fingers reaching for his wrist, then carefully pulling the needle from his arm.
Blood didn’t well from the wound the way it did when Solise removed the needle from Miles’.
“I’ll arrange for a stretcher to come fetch Miles,” Solise said quietly as she began to pack her things. “He may have a rough few days on the road from here to Araqina, but I think he’s going to be okay.”
Cielle crumpled against Miles’ shoulder, her palm on his cheek and her thumb stroking gently over it.
“I’m going to go,” I murmured, and Cielle didn’t look up as I entered the forest again, headed for the shore.
I was thrilled my friend would live. But Marita’s words echoed back to me then, that I could feel two things.
Right now, I felt the quiet warmth of relief and the overwhelming, crushing weight of grief.