Chapter 58
Petra
I’d healed the injured. The dead had been taken away to be prepared for burial.
Camp had been set up far down the beach, away from the scene of the battle.
I could see the glow of the campfires, smell the smoke on the breeze.
The sounds of victory echoed down the shore, raucous laughter and drunken shouts and a fiddle somewhere in the mix.
Though I knew among the merrymakers there were people tucked away in their tents, huddled beneath their blankets, mourning the loss of someone who’d been their everything in some way or another.
All that remained of today were patches of bloodstained sand and an incessant, empty pain in my chest. Malosym was dead. The Occulti were gone. The residual darkness left behind in Miles had been excised. The realm was safe. But every part of me still ached .
I walked through camp, a chorus of praises and cheers following me as I made my way between half-erected tents and newly dug firepits. The Daughter of Katia had prevailed. Blood of Old Creed. Savior of the Realm.
My skin crawled with every exclamation of glory.
It had cost countless lives. And at the end of the day, I was still the reason Malosym had been here in the Human Realm to begin with.
The crowns left behind by Katia and Rhedros sat in the sand in front of me.
I’d debated sending them to be buried with their bodies, but they were the only pieces I had of them.
I’d never known them. Not really, anyway.
They hadn’t really known me, either, but they’d made an unthinkable choice — twice, now — to keep me safe.
Because they loved me. And how lucky was I to have known a love like that?
It would be a long, long time before I was able to think about them without the weight of guilt pressing down on my soul.
I wasn’t sure what fate had befallen Ma.
Solise told me, with tears in her eyes, that she’d somehow fallen victim to blood magic.
I could see the Sanguilite’s Realm in my head, the shelves where Ma’s soul now rested among the others.
I squeezed my eyes shut at the thought, at the regret I felt at leaving things partially resolved.
At how nasty I’d been to her over the years.
I didn’t care how shitty she’d been. She didn’t deserve to spend eternity in that eerie cave.
And Cal…
A deep exhale left me as I cradled my face in my palms. His body had already been carted away by the time I got back to the beach. The goodbye I never got to say was lodged in my throat, clinging to my tongue. Words that would never be spoken.
“Queen Petra.”
I startled at the voice, my hand flying to my chest as King Laion emerged from the darkness, standing awkwardly beside where I sat in the sand .
“Apologies for startling you. May I sit?” he asked carefully, and I nodded. He let out a deep sigh as he held a goblet in my direction. “Ale?”
“Got anything stronger?”
He reached for his hip, producing a flask. “Whiskey?”
“Perfect.” I tugged the cork from its place, wincing as the liquid burned its way down my throat before I passed the flask back to him.
The waves worked their way closer to our boots as the tide crept back in.
“I want to apologize to you, Queen Petra,” he said carefully, and there was a sincerity in his voice I’d never heard from him, a lack of that gravelly grumble that so often accompanied his downturned face.
His fingers flexed nervously around the goblet clutched in his hands.
“I did not want to believe your claims, even when they were proven true right before my eyes.”
I swallowed hard, savoring the residual heat from the whiskey. “I understand,” I answered, and it was the truth. I hadn’t wanted to believe it either.
“And I want to apologize for the way I spoke to you. All of this…” He trailed off, a weighted breath leaving his lips. “I didn’t truly realize the depth and breadth of the evil we faced until today. Facing it…changed me.”
I eyed him where he sat beside me as he stared at the waves.
“When I was a boy,” he started before I could respond, “my father was the King’s hand, and he…
He was not a kind man, either. I grew up surrounded by much fear, you see.
And the previous king, Irli’s father, saw much of my upbringing and did not intervene.
And instead of doing better, I grew up to be just like my father.
” The last few words were stilted, each one its own separate lament.
He took a deep drink from his goblet, his breath shuddering after he swallowed.
“And my son… He was everything to me, but I always kept my distance. Thought it would make him kinder. But when he chose the path of blood magic… Well, when I thought he chose the path of blood magic. ”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “I don’t believe that justifies the way you treated him and others.”
“I seek to make no excuses for the things I’ve done.
” He turned to me now, an earnestness in his face visible in the moonlight.
“But I seek to heal the wounds I’ve caused, your Majesty.
I seek to repair what I’ve broken. I… I understand I lost that chance with my son.
I will never forgive myself for that. But our final days together…
” He swallowed hard, the sob catching in his throat.
“I said what I needed to say, as did he. And I have a grandson now. I have you to thank for that.”
I pursed my lips, inhaling a deep breath of salty air. “An apology and a thanks? Are you feeling okay, King Laion?” I asked with a dry laugh, trying to infuse some humor into the tension I felt.
“I am. And what about you Queen Petra?” he asked, his tone cautious once again. “How are you faring?”
The question was a knife in my chest, and I closed my eyes against his words.
I opened my mouth to respond, but the words wouldn’t come forth.
I wasn’t okay. I’d never be okay again. Even when the dust settled, when Cal and Katia and Rhedros and Adorex and all the dead were long since buried, when the armies marched back to their respective kingdoms, and when this day was nothing but a page in a book in the Araqinan library, I wouldn’t be okay.
Laion pushed the cork back into his flask, speaking carefully, as if he could feel my tension in the quiet.
“On the outside, it’s a victory. Malosym is dead, and that is what they’ll sing in the songs written for this day.
No one will ever know the true cost. Only you.
It will go unnoticed by most of the world, most of history.
But not by me or my people. I will make sure of it. ”
Tears flooded my eyes again. Maybe nasty, shitty King Laion had been better. I didn’t like the tears this Laion was bringing out of me. “Thank you,” I managed to choke out .
Laion pushed to his feet, offering a hand. “Allow me to escort you back to camp.”
“Thank you, but I think I’ll stay out here a bit longer,” I murmured, unable to meet his eyes.
“Of course. Goodnight, your Majesty.”
All I managed was a weak smile, and then I was alone again, with nothing but the waves and my grief.
I reached for the crowns absentmindedly, staring down at the gemstones that blinked in the moonlight. I’d been too afraid to think of life beyond the Human Realm. What if it hadn’t been enough? What if everything I’d done hadn’t been enough to restore the realms beyond this one?
My leg bounced as nervous energy suddenly buzzed to life in my chest, the thought so large and intrusive I had no choice but to think of it. Heaven. The Saints’ Realm.
Fuck.
I’d woken up somewhere besides the Darkness Beyond after I killed Malosym. The Saints’ Realm, maybe, since Onera had been there. And I’d simply willed myself back here to the Human Realm.
“Going to try traveling between realms again?” a voice cut through the sound of the waves, and I looked over to see Nell trudging through the sand.
A humorless laugh escaped me. “How could you tell?”
“I figured it was only a matter of time.” She lowered herself to sit beside me. “I only have a minute. Whit lost a card game against a soldier from Aera, so now he has to run naked into the ocean. Made him wait until I get back.”
I raised a brow. “And you want to be there to see that?”
“I want to be there to shield everybody else from seeing that.” My lips pulled up in an involuntary smile as Nell’s laugh quieted. The air between us suddenly changed, and Nell’s tone sobered as she reached into a pocket in her tunic. “Tyrak asked me to give you this, if the worst happened. ”
My hand closed around a small, thin book. “What is it?” I asked.
“I didn’t ask, and he didn’t offer any information. He just said it was important.”
I flipped the leather cover open, blinking hard at the first page. And there were words, just visible in the moonlight.
The story of Katia and Rhedros
My jaw tightened as I closed the cover of the book, trying to rein in the emotion suddenly clogging my throat. “Thank you, Nell.”
“Of course,” she answered sincerely before pushing to her feet. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to protect a lot of people from being scarred for life.”
I swallowed hard as Nell made her way back toward the beach, her figure swallowed by the bustling energy of camp.
My hands gripped Tyrak’s book, where the answers of so many of my questions were written out on paper.
But I tucked it into my own pocket. What good would reading his words do me now?
Katia and Rhedros were dead. It didn’t matter if I had their story when all that was left of them were their crowns.
Staring at them now, I pushed down the guilt.
I conjured the image of Heaven in my mind, as it had been before the Occulti desecrated it.
I still didn’t know how it worked, how I moved between realms. But I squeezed my eyes shut, willing every fiber of my being to cross the barrier between here and there.
For the first time, no one was relying on me.
For the first time, I was crossing realms because I wanted to, not because I had to.
And I did it. I fucking did it!
That sweet air filled my lungs. Wildflowers brushed against my legs. The sun shone on my skin. I slowly turned in place, taking in the sight of the field I stood in, of the rolling hills, the sparkling blue sea, and …
I fell to my knees when I saw the town. The homes appeared unscathed.
People strolled down the sidewalks. Some sat in their gardens.
Soren’s castle stood tall, the waterfall spilling from its highest spire catching the sun and turning it into a stream of glittering light.
And soaring high above it all, with glimmering, opalescent scales, was Adorex.
A single tear tracked down my cheek at the sight of her slow, lazy wingbeats. I wasn’t sure how she’d ended up here, but I decided it didn’t matter. It didn’t. She was here, in the sunshine, where she deserved to be.
Heaven was restored, and it somehow looked even more beautiful than it had before.
Down there, in that little town, were so many of the people I loved. The people who’d molded me, who’d pushed me, who’d loved me. The relief and the comfort that unfurled within me stole my breath away. It worked. It really, truly worked.
But I couldn’t help but think about the one soul who would forever be missing from here, who’d never again see the light of day or the glow of the moon. Never again would he call my name, tell me he loved me, make wild and impossible promises.
My fingers flexed around the crowns, my pulse suddenly throbbing in my hands. No, that wasn’t my pulse. It was the crowns.
The gems laid within the metal glowed and dimmed, just like the rubies in Aegrabane’s hilt. I cocked my head, bringing Katia’s diadem close to my face. What was it with gems in the Holy Realms?
Maybe they were being called home to the Saints’ Realm. That was where they belonged, after all.
With one final look at the town, I closed my eyes. Finding a spot of warmth in my chest that pulsed in time with the gemstones and my heartbeat. That had to be something, right? Take me to the Saints’ Realm .
I opened my eyes, blinking at my new surroundings, at a blue sky I’d seen once before.
Nine houses were arranged in a circle. No, they weren’t houses, they were estates — palatial — the kind of structures I’d only read about in books.
Each was massive, with sprawling lawns and gardens and terraces dripping in blooms. Each one was different from the next, like they were their own individual worlds separate from each other.
And it wasn’t hard to guess which one belonged to each Saint.
Faldyr had a garden lined with steel blades that jutted from the ground.
Tolar’s home had columns plated in gold adorning the front.
Noros’ appeared to be well kept, too, with its red brick facade, even though he hadn’t been here in years.
But I supposed it would’ve been restored with the rest, whether Noros lived or died. What would happen now that he was dead?
Everything seemed to glow faintly, like somehow light had been harnessed and shaped into something physical.
I felt that same glow within my own chest, and it grew brighter as I neared the center of the circle, where two homes sat side by side.
One was a dark shade of pewter, and the other I’d seen before.
It was beside it that I’d woken up after killing Malosym.
But my attention was quickly dragged away by the figures standing in the middle of a courtyard between the two houses.
The Benevolent and Blood Saints.