25. Emily
“ J ust remember, we only go as far as you want,” Caleb said. “We stop at any time, for any reason you want—even no reason at all.”
“I know,” I said, shivering slightly. I didn’t know if that was because of Caleb’s eyes sweeping over me or how cool his room felt to my skin. “I’m ready.”
Caleb didn’t say anything else. That was okay, because I was through with talking. I wanted to feel , to cross the threshold and experience everything I was craving.
Instead, he gently laid me down on his mattress, his scent further enveloping me. I was somehow two people at once, then wholly my own person, separate senses combining into a more thorough experience. It was dizzying and wonderful at the same time.
I let out a squeak as Caleb pulled me all the way to the edge of the bed. He just smirked at me as if I was adorable, then kissed his way down to my belly button. Fuck, it was just like my dream, but I felt no guilt this time. As much as I was out of love with Gavin now, I’d still been in a relationship with him during that particular fantasy.
I felt no regret, no hesitation. I was being treated right , and though I wished there was love or romance involved, I’d rather have a respectful, pleasurable experience with someone I trusted rather than none at all. I knew if even my most risk-taking friends heard what I was doing, they’d tell me I was crazy, but I didn’t care.
Every inch of progress Caleb made was like a little zap of euphoria. It dulled the background noise that was so common in my life, and as Caleb had said in his very first instruction, I just let myself feel. Let my instincts do what they wanted.
God, when Caleb’s lips first pressed to the near outside of my pussy, a slight bit of pressure against the lips there, It took all I had not to arch into him, to demand he part my thighs and make me scream like so many of my girlfriends had.
But I was a good girl, or at least I tried to be, and was rewarded when his broad, impossibly warm tongue finally slid into me.
“ Oooh, ” I gasped. My brain had turned into liquid and was steadily spilling out of my ear and onto the pillow, but that didn’t matter. My whole world condensed, down to the way Caleb’s fingers were biting into my thighs, holding my legs open in a delicious counterpoint to the way his mouth moved.
Kissing, licking, sucking—there were so many different sensations he could coax out of such a small area. It was a good thing he was holding me down, because it took mere minutes for me to begin thrusting my hips up into his devouring mouth, begging for…
I didn’t even know what, but I did scrape two brain cells together once a familiar flutter built in my abdomen. One I usually only felt when alone and armed with a vibrator.
No. I couldn’t be, not that fast. It took at least a half hour and a great mood to send myself over the edge.
But Caleb clearly knew me better than I did, because my thighs were trembling in his grip, the muscles in my abdomen jumping, and my mouth was dry.
“Caleb, I’m so close!” I cried. “I’m so fucking close!”
Then he paused. Was this the first time he’d even taken a breath since he’d started? He was like a man possessed, and it made me feel incredibly powerful and vulnerable at the same time to see him so taken with me.
“Good,” was all he said before scraping his teeth along my thigh, then sealing his lips over my clit and sucking.
“Oh, fuck , Caleb!”
This time, there was no resisting the way I arched off the bed, spine bending nearly in two. I was levitating. No, I was flying. Pleasure rose across every cell of my body, leaving no room for anything else. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything . All I could do was experience.
I had no idea how long my climax lasted, no idea how long I keened or how hard my muscles flexed. All I knew was when I finally collapsed back to the mattress, I felt like rubber.
“Holy shit,” I wheezed. All I could do was breathe and recall what it was like to have a physical body.
“That’s a good girl,” Caleb said, helping me further up the bed. “Just breathe for me, okay?”
“I’m breathing,” I said, surprised I was even capable of speaking.
“That’s it. Remember to keep doing that.” His hand slid up my body alongside his words, causing an enticing wave. Everything was heightened in a way I never thought it could be.
Bliss. Utter bliss.
I felt a weight resting against my abdomen and looked down. There, I saw none other than the thick line of his cock, leaving a shiny little patch of pre-cum below my belly button, right on the place he’d kissed before I lost my mind because of his mouth.
I knew I was likely capable of handling him. I also trusted Caleb to take care of me, as he’d done exactly that so far. At the same time, it was intimidating to see just how aroused he was, and how much he’d stretch me out.
“Breathe deeply for me,” he said, reading my thoughts.
Though I struggled, I managed to do just that. Keeping his eyes locked on my face, he pulled back slightly, and I felt him as he lined himself up with my pussy. I tensed up automatically, expecting him to shove it in, but of course he didn’t. That’d be too easy, and too brutal for my first time. Caleb was making it abundantly clear that he’d make every part of this process incredible. He slowly teased his way in, making little circles before withdrawing. It should’ve been maddening, but it also built up the anticipation.
“Caleb…” I whined once there was so much pressure built up between my legs that I might cause an actual flooding hazard.
He just smirked at me before finally pressing just a bit further. His head still wasn’t fully inside, but it almost was, and that was enough to make my breath catch.
Oh, God, I really was doing this, wasn’t I? I didn’t regret it, at least not yet, though I was struck by the sheer weight of this moment. I was doing something for myself, something I’d locked away under the bondage of so much fear and anxiety, from insecurities that whispered I just wasn’t worthy of it.
Boy, were those feelings being disproven.
“Hey now,” Caleb said soothingly, his voice like molten lava pouring intomy soul, settling into the inferno building in my belly. “Remember what I said about breathing.”
Remember what? My brain had completely melted, thanks to his ministrations. I was floating in a hazy cloud of all that was, all that could be, and everything I was finally allowing myself to feel. It was overwhelming, but I wanted to revel in it.
Then I was able to recall that I was supposed to breathe. I took a few long, slow inhales, breathing out through my nose, and that’s when he pushed in further. Again, it wasn’t too far, less than a couple centimeters, yet I felt myself stretching as he parted me, and any hope of breathing for that one second was stolen away.
Holy shit. I’d heard my girlfriends talk about this sensation before, about being split open by a particularly endowed cock. But I’d never imagined it could feel so good . In fact, for most of my life, it sounded painful. There was some discomfort to it, a burning alien feeling that didn’t make sense.
Caleb paused, crashing his lips into mine as one of his hands roved up and down my body while the other settled on my hip like a comforting anchor. All of those pleasant sensations combined to dull the discomfort. Little by little, I grew more used to him until I felt my body relaxing enough to take a little bit more.
That was the rhythm we fell into. There was nothing hurried about it, nothing inconvenient or rushed. In fact, it felt reverent, like Caleb understood what the moment meant to me. It was when he was fully seated inside, his chiseled hips meeting mine, that I knew I’d made the right choice.
I was so full, it was impossible, but there it was. I was in conflict over so many things, but I liked the twisted tangle I’d become. What was most important was that even though I was experiencing all these new things, even though I was breathless, sweating, and out of my depth, I was still Emily.
My virginity didn’t change that, nor did my lack thereof, and stepping into a new type of intimacy didn’t change that, either. I got the feeling that although becoming a shifter would revolutionize my world, it still wouldn’t change me.
That was such a relief.
So many chemicals were going through me, so many sensations, that I wasn’t surprised when tears built up in my eyes. One of the things I’d been so terrified of was losing myself, or losing all the work I’d invested in myself, but with Caleb inside me, looking down at me like I was incredible, I saw none of that work had been in vain. I was only twenty-two years old. I had a long way to go before I was finished with my journey.
“Hey, hey, you okay?” Caleb asked in alarm, seeing my tears. He started pulling out, so I quickly wrapped my legs around him, keeping him in place. I knew he was stronger than me and could easily escape if he wanted to, but I had to explain.
“I’m perfect ,” I managed to breathe out, although my tone was still quite shaky. “ Absolutely perfect. ”
“Ah. I understand, then. Just a lot?”
I nodded as Caleb bent down, staying utterly still inside me as he pressed the most tender kiss I’d ever felt to my lips. If I didn’t know better, I’d think it was romantic. But it couldn’t be. He was practically a stranger, though one I trusted and felt connected to in a way that hadn’t clicked until I’d found out what we were. That was the whole reason he was guiding me through my first time.
So, if my mind decided to interpret it as romantic, I just let myself. I could always worry about reasoning later. Right now, I needed to feel .
Caleb pulled back, only to caress my face with the same care and tenderness. Another wealth of emotion flooded into me as my hands went to his chest, not him pushing away but feeling his heartbeat, the steady assurance that we were both real and in the moment together.
“I’m ready,” I said. It was true. I was about to take a big leap, sure, but I was so supported, so protected, that I knew it’d be fine. No, it’d be incredible .
“I know you are, gorgeous. I can feel it.”
That simple phrase sent a wave of lust rippling through every cell in my body. Just in time, too, because Caleb began to gently pull out, only to push back in again.
Oh my God! The drag as he nearly left my body was indescribable. All I could do was accept him, relaxing every part of my body, opening myself up to the sensations.
Somehow, when he thrust gently back into me, it was nothing like the first time, either. It was a journey unto itself. Wild, intense, and fucking perfect.
He started slow, which I appreciated, but the more my body got used to him, the faster he was able to go, adding a little more force along with it, hitting parts of me that’d never been touched before.
“Caleb, Caleb, Caleb !” I held on for dear life. He wasn’t quite pounding into me, but it felt like the most wickedly sinful promise of what’d come if I was a good girl and took it.
Fuck, I wanted to be an exceptionally good girl.
Whines and mewls unlike any I’d ever made before escaped my mouth, increasing in volume as he dipped his head and kissed down the side of my neck. Every time his teeth grazed, it was like an electric shock . God, I wanted more. I wanted it all. I was being shown a world I’d cut myself off from, and I wanted to wreak absolute havoc.
Then one of Caleb’s hands settled over my breast, teasing one nipple and then the other. He pushed himself slightly so I could see more of his torso as his hips flexed deeper and deeper, a sight that amazed me.
God, he was so hot. So incredibly hot. Although I’d always been aware of that, it had never seemed so relevant as this moment. His dark eyes were even darker, his pupils blown out so wide, they were almost black. His cheeks were reddened, and his thick hair mussed from the steam of the shower, the effort of him thrusting between my legs.
Fuck . I remembered how it felt to have his mouth on me right when he thrust in with particular force, and I felt myself cross into new sensations inside. Was... was I going to cum again? It felt so similar to what happened when I had a particularly good session with my vibrator, but at the same time, so completely different.
I sputtered, trying to say something, anything , but my brain refused to function.
As it turned out, I didn’t need to say anything at all, because Caleb let out a downright animalistic groan. “That’s it, good girl. I felt that.”
He did?
The idea was dizzying, but so was when he tilted my hips upward, changing the way he angled his own thrusts, and soon I was once again lost in the sensation of it all. As if that weren’t enough, his hand changed from where it’d stayed between my breasts, resting right over my clit.
“I’m going to make you cum on this cock, all right? I want you to let yourself go and feel all of it, you understand? I’ll take care of you.” He paused long enough to kiss me one more time before heatedly whispering against my mouth, “You have nothing to worry about.”
I believed him.
I took the chance to kiss him one more time before letting my head fall back to the pillow below. Caleb gave a smirk that looked somewhere between being pride and wanting to devour me before straightening up again.
Even with his warning, I still wasn’t prepared.
His thrusts were deeper, faster, somehow curved within to hit some wall that was just… just… just fucking incredible . Was that my g-spot? It wasn’t like I could stop Caleb and ask—I was nearly out of my mind.
That was before two of his fingers contacted that sensitive bundle of nerves, now so swollen and waiting for stimulation. He started relatively gently, at least compared to his thrusts, but slowly increased in pressure as I grew wetter and wetter. It was like he had a direct line to my body and could feel everything escalating rapidly.
“Caleb!” I managed to get out, a sweaty, panting mess. “Caleb, I-I- I’m ? — ”
“That’s it. Be my good girl and let go for me. Show me how good I make you feel. Give it to me, Emily. Give it to me .”
At that, he pushed especially deep within, his fingers applying pressure and speed exactly right . The next thing I knew, I was spiraling off into a stratosphere I’d never been to before. It was like the orgasm I had earlier, but it was also so much greater. My toes curled, my breath stopped in my chest. My back arched, and my thighs clamped around Caleb’s waist, squeezing him like a tube of toothpaste.
It was an entire bodily experience—muscles, blood, all of it, and I’d never felt so good in my entire life. It was so good that it hurt . It was vicious, bright, and inescapable.
I didn’t want to escape, though. I wanted to stay in that moment forever. As my orgasm rocked me, there were no tests on the horizon, no homework or labs, no inevitable conversation with Gavin, and no shift. There was just me, Caleb, and the wonder my body was demonstrating.
Time was absolutely meaningless, but I had to come down eventually, and when I did, I was covered with sweat, panting like I’d just run a marathon.
But I’d done it. I’d had my human experience, and no matter what happened, no one could take that away from me.
“That’s my good girl,” Caleb breathed, pulling out of me. Even in my haze, I could see we’d missed a step.
“What about you?” I wanted to feel him… complete , so to speak.
“Don’t worry about me,” he said, pressing a kiss to my mouth. “Tonight isn’t about me. I know you want to sink into the bed right now, but I need you to get up and pee, all right? Even with the advanced healing of a shifter, you should still do that.”
“Okay, then,” I murmured, but when I tried to get out of bed, it was like my whole body rebelled. I flopped back onto the mattress, looking at Caleb with a somewhat chagrined expression.
“Don’t worry,” he said with only the slightest chuckle as he helped me up. “I’ll take care of you.”
He would. It was just beginning to sink in that, for the rest of my life, I’d never be alone again unless I wanted to be.
It was a very welcome change.