Chapter Eleven
Ari
I’d gone back to Chained that night in hopes of seeing the little I had been so captivated by last time, but he wasn’t there. Still, it had been a pleasant time with other littles I played with. The band concert alone was epic. I’d heard a couple of people complain that the little room was the noisiest area in the entire club, but the main floor with the cracking of whips and smacking of bare bottoms and the cries that elicited had its own level of chaos.
It was not quiet out there either.
But give me giggles and laughter and the banging of spoons on pots over any noise in the whole world. Even though I didn’t have a special little, whichever one I was playing with became special to me in the moment. They may not have their own daddy, but that did not mean they needed a daddy any less. And providing fulfillment for those needs, even for an hour or two, felt good. If I could make them smile and laugh and maybe give me a big hug of happiness, I called it a win. And sometimes, it wouldn’t be all joy and sunshine. They might be tired or sad and just need a daddy to sit with them and cuddle, possibly listen with a nonjudgmental ear. Or they might want to have their hair brushed, diaper changed…there were many parts of being a daddy, some of which were more appropriate for the little room than others.
Private changing rooms offered a space where others could take place if the parties involved so chose.
After such a pleasant time, to find Scottie in such misery was a reminder that there were daddies and wanna-be daddies. At Chained, that poser had hurt Scottie’s feelings and made him cry. If they’d gone somewhere private, who knew what might have happened. He might have gone through with his plan to “punish” him for whatever imaginary naughtiness he came up with. And, from what I observed, he might have done it without consent. A club like Chained or Collared offered a lot of safety for vulnerable littles as well as many others.
It was so much better to play in a safe place at least until you got to know your play partner and had reason to trust them to put your needs and safety before their own pleasure.
And thank heavens Scottie had done that, so when he learned he’d chosen badly, there was a Ms. Lily there to stand up for him and remove the bad actor from the scene. And someone she could ask to help him get home. I prided myself on being a safe person for any little in my sphere.
I walked him to his door because I would have done that for any little. The evening did not end until they were safe at home. But once I did, I met not only Dallas, a very cute little who was wearing his little clothes around the house, but Colter, who I’d gone to Chained in hopes of seeing again.
And I was very attracted to them both. Since Marty died, I’d been meeting needs, both mine and those of whatever little I was spending time with. But none of them had drawn me out of my self-imposed isolation of the heart. I didn’t think anyone would. How could they when he’d been my world?
After tonight, all that flipped upside down. Now I was looking at not one but two littles…was it just that I was ready to find someone new, or was one of them the one for me? Driving away from the house of littles, I told my phone to call a friend back home. He’d been at my side when I lost Marty and even before that, while we were navigating his illness. And when I wanted to just curl up and die as well, this friend wouldn’t let me. He showed up to take me out to breakfast or dinner, or for a walk in the park. Even grocery shopping and then stayed to eat so I didn’t have to have every meal alone.
And, when things got really tough and lonely, he told me that it was not forever. That I would meet someone else when the time was right because I was too young to give up on life. It was not what Marty wanted. Chris reminded me of the promise I made my love, not to shut down. Marty even made me swear to be open to love. I agreed because I would say anything rather than upset him and make him use an ounce of his remaining energy to argue with me.
But I didn’t mean it.
Chris…my friend said it counted whether I meant it or not, and he swore Marty was up there in heaven or wherever good littles went for an afterlife, picking someone else out for me.
But two?
My late love did have a sense of humor.
“Why are you calling at this hour?” It was always good to hear Chris’s voice. “This had better be good.”
“With your schedule, I never know when is the right time to call.” He was a fireman who worked twenty-four-hour shifts and they seemed to move around. Or maybe I just confused easily. “So, yes, it’s good. But if you don’t want to hear…”
“You’d better speak, or I’m coming over there with my ax.” He chuckled. “Seriously, what’s up? Are you all right?”
“Better than. Remember how you said I’d meet a new little one day?”
“Yes?” I heard him yawning and felt a little bad at waking him.
“Well you were wrong.” I wanted to stretch this out, but I couldn’t. “I’ve met two. Chris, I think I’m officially ready to move on.”