These Wicked Desires (Fates #3)

7. Ellis

Ellis

“What does this mean?” I ask after Sterling fills us in on what he and his brother talked about.

“Well, not a whole lot right now.” He sits in the grass next to me as I take a break from the grueling training Cade and Kai have been putting me through. “We are going to meet up tomorrow evening to talk about plans and who we can trust to join us. I won’t be able to challenge Noah until we have a solid plan in place to make sure the transition goes smoothly for the pack.”

“What will happen when you challenge him?” Just the thought is enough to send butterflies tumbling in my belly.

“We’ll set a date and time to battle. Our wolves will fight until one of us comes out on top.”

I swallow down the lump in my throat. “What does that mean exactly?”

His eyes scan my face and he shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it right now, Ellis. There are other things you need to focus on.”

I don’t particularly like that he won’t tell me what’s going to happen, because I can imagine it, and it isn’t pretty. But I let it go for now. I’ll force the conversation later when I have more mental bandwidth to deal with it. If I ever have the mental bandwidth to deal with it. At the rate things are going, I’m just going to turn into a zombie. A walking meatsuit with nothing left to give.

“Hey! Stop that.” Kai crouches in front of me, his brow furrowed. “I don’t like that emotion.” He points his finger in my face and waves it in a circle.

“Sorry,” I mumble. “It’s just … hard.”

He grabs my chin in his fingers and squeezes gently. “We’re going to take things one step at a time. Sterling will challenge Noah and win. With him as alpha and Noah out of the picture, we’ll move on to rescuing Grace and removing Sam from the picture. Just focus on one thing at a time. While Sterling prepares, we’ll keep training. When it’s time to save your sister, you’re going to be such a badass.” He grins at me, fangs glinting in the moonlight.

He makes it sound easy. And it does ease some of my anxiety. I’m not alone and I need to remember that. But it’s still incredibly overwhelming. Kai leans forward and kisses my forehead.

“Now, get up. Break’s over. And get those wings back out.” He stands and claps his hands twice. The love and gratefulness I just felt toward him melt away in a heartbeat.

I groan, but push to my feet. In my mind, the imaginary blanket slides off my wings, and I know they’ve reappeared as the breeze slides through my feathers, tickling and teasing. “Okay. Let’s do this,” I say, mentally prepping myself for another brutal session.

“I want to keep working on magic,” Cade says, stepping up to me. “But this time, I want you to dodge my attacks instead of blocking them. I think we can assume Sam won’t do anything to harm you too much because he wants you alive.”

I swallow as nerves flutter in my belly. “Okay,” I say slowly. “You’re not really going to throw your magic at me in an attempt to hit me, though, are you?”

Cade grimaces. “I mean, it’s the best way to train you to block and dodge attacks.”

“Great,” I mutter. With a deep breath, I call Cade’s magic to me, and let it gather in my palms. Widening my stance, I get a feel for my balance with the wings, and nod my head.

“I’ll take it easy on you at first.” His magic flares to life, purple light wreathing his arms. It’s really beautiful, especially as his violet eyes swirl and sparkle with his magic.

He’s true to his word. The first few attacks are aimed wide and are easy to dodge by jumping out of the way. It takes some time to get used to my wings slowing me down, and I eventually learn to tuck them closer to my body to reduce the amount of wind resistance. The quicker I become at dodging, the quicker and closer to me Cade’s attacks get.

I’m so focused on Cade and his magic, when a sudden weight appears in my hand, it throws me off balance. I fall to the side, stumbling and just barely catching myself. Confused, I glance at my hand and gasp.

“What the hell?” I shriek.

In my hand is a sword. An actual freaking sword. The handle thing—or whatever it’s called—is wrapped in aged black leather. A bright purple stone is perched on the top and shines in the moonlight. There are golden wing-like things sprouting just below the handle. And the blade. Holy shit the blade is gold and silver and sharp as hell. It’s heavy, but at the same time, not heavy at all.

I open my fingers to let the sword drop to the ground, but it stays in my hand like it’s glued there. My eyes widen and look to Cade for help. “Cade?” My voice has raised a few octaves and my breath comes in quick bursts. “Help!”

All three of the guys approach with varying expressions of confusion, thought, and awe. Kai kneels in front of me and studies the sword, whistling as his fingers trail over the blade. Sterling comes to my side and wraps a supportive arm around my waist below the wings. And Cade turns my hand palm up, supporting the weight of the sword.

“It’s … stuck,” he says, looking closely at my palm. He tries to grab the handle but it doesn’t budge.

“Make it go away,” I plead, voice cracking with emotion. “I don’t want it!”

“Take a deep breath, Ellis,” Cade says. “We’ll figure this out.”

“Figure it out now, then! I can’t walk around with a freaking sword stuck to my hand! I’ll stab myself!”

Kai chuckles. “She’s right. That thing is dangerous in her hand.”

I glare at him, contemplating using it to stab him. “Watch it, Kai.”

“Close your eyes,” Sterling says calmly. “Just like with the wings, imagine it going away.”

I do as he says, forcing my heart to slow and my breathing to even out. I imagine the weight in my hand disappearing, the ancient weapon becoming nothing more than a memory. When I open my eyes, it’s gone. I sink to the ground, wrapping my arms around my legs.

“What the hell?” I whisper.

Kai, still kneeling, pulls out his phone and scrolls through the random pictures I’ve taken of the three of us. When he gets to what he wants, he shows me. “I don’t think we should be surprised. The image in the book showed a harpy with wings and a sword. You got the wings. Now you have the sword.”

The picture is from the book where we learned what Shields were. The drawing of the harpy indeed is holding a sword that looked just like the one in my hand.

“I don’t know how to use a sword,” I breathe.

“We can teach you, love,” Cade says soothingly. “At least, we can help you learn the basics. We don’t have enough time to show you everything. But every little advantage we can give you in this battle could be the difference between winning and losing.”

I sigh as the weight on my shoulders only seems to get heavier. A sword is not something I want to learn how to use. It was heavy and weird in my hand, and I didn’t like it. But Cade does have a point. “Fine.”

Cade nods and releases a breath. “Let’s start sword training tomorrow. Right now, let’s keep working on dodging.”

I shove the thought of the sword away and stand. Practice will take my mind off of what just happened, so I’m all for it. “Yeah. Let’s keep going.”

Before long, Cade and I are back in rhythm. His magic flies past me, and I dodge. Faster and faster until I’m breathing heavily and my eyes are constantly scanning for his magic. Purple sparks sizzle past my left shoulder as I jump to the side, a few brushing against my wings and making me wince, but I keep going. This time, I jump to the right, his magic coming at me almost continuously now. My legs are getting more shaky the longer we do this, and my reaction time is starting to slow. Cade must not realize that, because the next thing I know, a stream of magic is heading straight for my chest.

My eyes widen and I gasp. I won’t be able to dodge that quick enough, but I try. I duck to the right and drop as fast as I can, but I’m not fast enough. The blast hits me in my left shoulder, knocking me backward and sending burning pain ricocheting through my upper body. My heart stutters as electricity pumps through the organ and my vision blackens.

“Fuck!” I hear Kai and Sterling yell through the ringing in my ears.

“Ellis!” Cade’s voice is scared, shaky and breathless.

I can’t feel anything. I don’t know if I’m standing, sitting, or lying down. I think my eyes are open, but I can’t see anything. All I can tell is that my heart is racing faster than it ever has. It’s pumping so hard and so fast it’s tripping over itself, the rhythm erratic. Thump-thu-thump-thump-thu-thump.

“Ellis, baby girl, open your eyes. Look at me.” Kai’s voice is closer now, strained and barely controlled.

I guess my eyes are closed. I try to open them, but I’m not sure if I’m successful. Everything is still black. The longer my heart races, the harder my breathing becomes. Like my lungs are trying to inflate at the same pace as my heart. My head feels fuzzy amid all of the numbness, and each thought in my mind floats past like a cloud on a breeze, just out of reach.

“Ellis. Shit, Ellis are you okay?” Cade’s frantic words are muffled as the fuzziness increases. Something warm pulses around me, and from the depths of my slowly unraveling consciousness, I know it’s Cade’s magic.

I attempt to open my mouth, but I’m not sure if I do. I really have no idea what my body is doing. I’m cold, though. I do know that.

“Heal her, Cade,” Kai says. “Her heart rate is all over the place.” His words sound pained, like his heart matching mine is causing him discomfort.

Vaguely I notice a purple glow in my vision, or maybe it's behind my closed eyelids. Warmth surrounds me, fighting off the chill that had started to settle in, making me shiver. It floods through my body, flowing through my veins and permeating every bone, muscle, and organ. The rapid, chaotic beat of my heart slows and steadies. My lungs calm, and my breathing becomes easier. The fuzziness lifts, and I’m able to think coherently again.

I open my eyes to find the guys hovering over me. My head is in Kai’s lap, and his fingers shakily brush back my curls over and over. Cade’s violet gaze is wide in his pale face as he scans me.

“Are you okay, Ellis?” he rasps. His chest is rising and falling as rapidly as mine had been just a moment ago. Purple sparks sizzle at his trembling fingertips and he fists his hands in the grass as if to hide the lack of control.

I nod my head, glad that I’m able to do so. My entire body feels like a wet noodle though, and I’m not sure if that is because of the practice, the blast of magic, or a combo of both. “I think so,” I mumble.

Cade exhales heavily and drops his head to my shoulder, arms wrapping around me tightly. “I am so sorry, Ellis. I shouldn’t have pushed so hard and put you at risk. This won’t happen again. I promise.”

I want to tell him it’s okay. That I don’t blame him. That I need to be pushed, as much as I hate it. But my energy is quickly fading. The effort it would take to open my mouth is too much. I pat his arm, all I’m able to manage, and release a breath, closing my eyes. They’re too heavy to keep open anyway.

“Get her upstairs to bed,” Sterling says.

The world swoops as I’m lifted in someone’s arms. By the cherries and spice scent clinging to the shirt my face is buried in, it’s Kai. I pull that smell into my lungs and let it comfort me. The safety of knowing I’m tucked against his chest, and the motion of him walking, causes my eyelids to get heavier and heavier until I can’t fight it anymore.

The pull of sleep is strong when I finally climb from the darkness. My body still feels like wet noodles, and my eyelids still weigh hundreds of pounds. But a comforting presence pulls me into consciousness.

My wings are still out, so Kai must have laid me on my side. Cade is pressed against my front, his arms wrapped around my middle and his head pressed against my chest, like he needs the reminder of my heart beating to know I’m okay. It takes monumental effort to lift my arm and run my fingers through his hair.

He stirs, tucking closer and mumbling in his sleep. I trace his jaw with my finger, his stubble tickling and scratching, and when I reach his lips and brush over them, his eyes flutter open. I could get lost in that violet stare.

“Ellis,” he breathes, leaning up on his elbow. He cups my cheek, his thumb brushing back and forth. “I am so, so sorry.” Immense sadness and regret darken his eyes.

“It’s okay,” I whisper. “It was an accident.”

He shakes his head, clenching his jaw. “It’s not okay. Me hurting you will never be okay. I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard.”

“I need to be pushed hard, though. Our enemies won’t go easy on me, and I need to be prepared. It’s the only way to learn,” I say. “I don’t enjoy the training, but I know it’s important. Accidents happen, Cade. I know as long as you’re here I’ll be fine. If I get hurt during training, you can heal me.”

“I don’t want to be the one to hurt you, love.” His breath leaves him in a rush, fanning over my face and warming my skin. “Shit, my magic recoiled so hard I probably would have lost it forever if I hadn’t needed it to heal you. I told you it's more sentient now than it ever has been. I almost get the feeling it’s throwing a temper tantrum at me for hurting you.”

I smile at the thought of his magic acting out because of his actions. “Kiss me Cade.”

He shakes his head, still unhappy with the situation but unable to resist giving me what I want. He leans down and presses his lips against mine. Softly at first, then harder. I open my mouth and let his tongue sweep in, claiming me all over again. My blood starts to heat, and I slip my hand under his shirt, feeling his warmth and smooth skin.

Unbidden, a yawn crawls up my throat mid-kiss. Cade pulls away with a grin. “How about you rest some more before we continue this.” He kisses me one last time, and I pout.

“But …”

“No buts.” He presses a kiss to the top of my head. “Sleep, love.”

I can’t fight it. I’m utterly exhausted. Sleep comes again, and this time it's cedar and lilac that follows me into oblivion.

The next time I wake it’s easier to climb from the trenches of sleep. My limbs don’t feel like jello, and my head is clear. At least, it’s as clear as it can be with someone trailing their fingers through the feathers of my wings. My back arches and a soft moan climbs up my throat as shivers spread through my body, igniting my blood like fire.

“You like that?” Sterling’s deep voice whispers in my ear, adding to the heat.

I nod my head, unable to form the words in my suddenly dry mouth. Sterling moves his finger close to the base of my wings where they’re even more sensitive. I gasp and squeeze my legs together to try and ease the ache that is rapidly growing.

A dark chuckle rumbles behind me. “Do you want me to stop?” Sterling adds a second finger to the other wing, gently brushing it down the feathers on that side.

“No!” I gasp. I’m pretty sure I could orgasm with just his touch on my wings. But that wouldn’t be very fun. I sit up, tucking my wings in at the last minute to avoid whacking Sterling in the face, and tackle him to the bed. He grunts in surprise and grabs my hips as I straddle his waist. “You started this Sterling, now you have to finish it.” I roll my hips making his eyes roll back in his head and a soft rumble echoes in his chest.

“Oh, I’ll be finishing this, alright,” he growls.

Sterling grabs the back of my tank and tears it in two, easing it past my wings and throwing the tattered remains to the floor. As I roll my hips, Sterling’s blue eyes darken, taking in the flush that covers my tan skin. When he leans up to scrape his teeth along my nipple, the motion of my hips change. The smooth, teasing motions become sharp and jerky. My breath catches in my throat and I tangle my hands in his hair, holding him to my breast.

The fabric of his sweats is already darkening from my wetness, and I want them gone. I want to feel only him sliding against me. “Your pants,” I gasp. “Take them off.”

He releases my nipple and places his hands on my hips to force me to still my movements. A dark look crosses his face, and he nips at my lower lip. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, kitten.” Without any warning he stands up, taking me with him and setting me on the floor. “On your hands and knees,” he says nodding to the bed as his hands drop to the waist of his sweats.

I take one quick peek at his cock pushing against the fabric, straining to be let free, and I quickly comply. My wings spread out behind me, and the white feathers flutter in my vision when I look behind me at Sterling. He’s already removed his pants and he slowly works his hand up and down his shaft, his eyes traveling over me kneeling on the bed, ass in the air, completely on display for him.

“Fuck,” he groans, biting his lower lip. “You drive my wolf fucking wild.” The bed dips as he places one knee on the mattress. “Eyes forward, kitten.”

My gaze drops to the sheets balled in my fists and I wait with uneven breaths for his touch. He doesn’t leave me waiting long. A soft caress down my wings makes my back arch, lifting my ass higher. I’m so wet I can feel the slickness along my inner thighs, and I desperately want him to touch me.

Sterling trails his fingers from my wings, over my ass, to my core. I gasp and press backward, searching for more pressure. I’m so achy I’m desperate.

“Please, Sterling. Quit teasing me.” It’s almost a whine, and I really don’t care. It’s been awhile since it’s just been me and Sterling, and I want my wolf to give me everything he’s got.

Sterling grabs my hips with one hand and trails the head of his cock through my folds. I push back and forward, trying to give myself what I want, but he tightens his grip and stops me.

“Patience, kitten,” he growls.

I growl right back. “Damn it, Sterling.”

He chuckles, but he positions himself at my entrance and slowly pushes inside. My walls adjust for him, and I moan as he slides all the way in. He sits there for a second, not moving, driving me crazy, then he finally pulls out to push back in. The pace he sets is slow and lazy and not near enough for me.

“If you don’t fuck me properly?—”

A fist tangled in my hair yanks me up so my wings are flush against his chest. “I already told you. You don’t get to tell me what to do.” His breath brushes against my ear and I shiver. He tugs my head to the side, the pull on my scalp creating delicious pain that makes me shiver. The flat of his tongue runs over his mark and I cry out.

The sound must snap something in him. The next thing I know, his hips are driving into me, each thrust tugging my hair a little more. His chest brushes against my wings and the added sensation is making my mind fuzzy with sex. When Sterling slips his free hand between my legs, I almost combust. Every nerve ending in my body is on fire with his touch.

“Is this what you wanted?” he growls, rubbing circles around my clit but not touching it.

Sounds fall from my mouth, nothing coherent because my brain can’t formulate anything that makes sense. Each time he slams home, stars burst in my vision. I’m so fucking close to losing it. The pressure is building to the point it’s almost unbearable. Just when I think I can’t take anymore, his teeth close on his mark and he presses down hard on my clit.

I shatter around him, screaming his name as I come. My body shudders, pleasure rolling through me in waves. Sterling wraps his arms around my waist, pressing tight against my wings as he finds his own release. The pressure against my wings sends more tingles through my body, and a second orgasm rocks me unexpectedly.

When I finally settle, I’m laying on my stomach, chest heaving as I suck air into my starved lungs. My wings are sprawled to either side of me, and Sterling climbs under one, the touch making me jerk from overstimulation, and settles next to me.

I peel my eyes open to find him smiling at me, his blue eyes shining incredibly bright. “Whoa,” I whisper.

He chuckles. “Whoa is right.” His thumb brushes back and forth on my cheek and leans in, pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

“Do you think they heard us?” I mumble, eyes closing again.

“Oh, I’m sure they did. You weren’t exactly quiet.”

I mumble something, I’m not really sure what, and turn to my side, letting my wings fall behind me. Sterling wraps his arm around my waist and I settle against his chest.

“I’m a huge fan of these, by the way,” he says, brushing his knuckles against the feathers peeking over my shoulder.

“Mmm. It definitely made things interesting. And I didn’t break your nose.”

“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve done that. Or the second.”

Heat creeps up my neck. “Hush and cuddle me.”

He chuckles again. “With pleasure, kitten.”