These Wicked Desires (Fates #3)

6. Sterling

Sterling

It took a few days, but we’re all finally back on the same sleep schedule—awake at night and sleeping during the day. Although I sleep less than the others, something about my shifter nature, or maybe my wolf, requires less sleep than most people. We’ve developed a morning routine, even though our morning is at night, which includes me, Cade, and Kai waking up early to eat breakfast—at least for Cade and me—and have a cup of coffee or tea. We let Ellis sleep in as late as possible before we wake her for more training.

Cade grunts where he sits at the table with his almost empty plate of breakfast. He’s staring at his phone, brows pulled down into a V. “They found another body in the river,” he says. “The same strange syringe marks and wounds as the others.”

“Where was it found?” I ask, taking my plate to the sink to rinse.

“A few miles from the warehouse.” Cade scrolls some more, frown deepening. “They identified the body as a missing human, but when the coroner did his exam, they found traces of magic in his bloodstream.”

“This makes three bodies now,” Kai chimes in. His eyes are closed and he’s resting his head on his arms at the table. “All with syringe marks. All within a three mile radius of the warehouse. And all with the same brutal injuries.”

“People are going to start talking,” Cade says.

I shrug. “With the syringe marks and area of town, it will get written off as a drug overdose.”

“What about the injuries?” Kai asks.

“Drug deal gone wrong? A fight ring? With drugs involved, the possibilities are endless.” I return to my seat and take a sip of coffee. It’s gone cold already.

Cade shakes his head. “But the magic in his system? A human shouldn’t have even the faintest trace of magic.”

None of us have an answer for that, and we fall into silence, lost in our own thoughts. Either Sam has a damn good plan up his sleeve, or he’s getting careless. Disposing of bodies from his failed experiments in the river where they are sure to wash up is asking for discovery. It leads me to believe he wants people to find them. But I can’t figure out why that would be the case.

Finally, Kai sighs. “Whose turn is it to wake up Ellis?” His eyes are still closed, head still on the table.

“Sterling,” Cade replies, nursing a cup of tea across from him. He lifts his gaze to mine and the glimmer of mirth is clearly visible.

Kai stifles a yawn. “Good luck, man.”

I roll my eyes and quickly make a cup of coffee for my mate before climbing the stairs. Ellis has never been a morning person, but with all the practice we’ve been doing, she’s been extra tired and cranky in the mornings. When I push into the room, I can’t help but smile. She’s sprawled across the bed on her back taking up as much space as she can now that the three of us aren’t in it. Her hair has come out of the bun she sleeps in, and curls riot around her head like a lion’s mane. The covers have been kicked aside, and the shirt she’s wearing is tugged up around her waist, leaving her lower half completely exposed.

I set the coffee on the nightstand and sit on the edge of the bed. “Ellis, it’s time to get up.” I gently shake her shoulder and she groans. “Come on kitten, wake up.”

She mumbles something that sounds a lot like ‘fuck you’ and drags a pillow over her head. Grinning to myself, I get up and kneel between her legs. I can think of the perfect alarm clock. But I only get one lick in before she grumbles and thrashes her legs, kneeing me in the face.

Bone crunches and wet, warm liquid trickles out of my nose. “Fuck!” I sit up, pinching the bridge of my nose and tipping my head back.

My shout must have woken her, because Ellis sits up, wild eyed with her hair sticking up in all directions. I’m momentarily distracted by how adorable she looks, and I drop my hand until I feel the blood trickle from my nose.

“Sterling?” she asks groggily. When she sees the blood, she gasps. “What happened?” She crawls toward me and takes my face in her palms.

I raise my brow. “You kneed me.”

She gasps. “I did? When? Why?”

“I was trying to wake you up.”

“Why were you between my legs?”

I stare at her over my hand until her eyes widen and red creeps into her cheeks.

“Oh no,” she whispers.

I nod. “Oh, yes.”

“Cade!” She pulls my hand away, immediately more blood dribbles out of my nose. “I’m so sorry, Sterling.”

Cade pops into the room with Kai close behind him. “What’s wrong?” When his gaze lands on me, blood coating the lower half of my face and Ellis frantically trying to stop it, he laughs. “That went well, huh?”

“Shut up and get over here,” Ellis hisses.

He raises his hands in surrender and purple light sparks to life at his fingertips. I close my eyes as his magic squeezes my head like a grape. It only lasts a few seconds, but I absolutely hate that sensation. When I open my eyes again, Kai hands me a wet washcloth to clean my face.

“Well, now that we’re all awake,” Cade says with his hands on his hips and a grin in my direction. “Let’s get moving. We have a lot to do today.”

“Like what?” Ellis asks, climbing out of bed and pulling off the t-shirt.

Cade gets momentarily distracted as Ellis walks around the room naked, gathering her clothes and putting them on. I elbow him in the side and he starts.

“Um, yeah,” he says, clearing his throat. “We have to keep working on the training thing. I think Sterling wants you to do the wing thing first. Then I want to do some magic work with you. And Kai wants to do some physical training with your wings.”

Ellis deflates and she sticks out her lower lip. “All of that? How about we just do one of those things?”

“Sorry, love.” Cade places a kiss on her forehead. “The sooner we get you ready, the sooner we can rescue your sister.”

She nods, even though her shoulders stay slumped. “Yeah, I know.”

“Meet us downstairs. You have ten minutes.” Cade kisses her forehead again and tugs Kai out of the room.

Ellis turns her pleading gaze to me and I shake my head. “Sorry, kitten. That look won’t work on me.”

Her pout turns into a glare and I can’t help but chuckle. It’s adorable how fierce she thinks she is. Then she blinks and the glare disappears, replaced by a spark in her eyes that I know means trouble. “Ooor,” she drawls, taking a step closer so she can run her hands down my chest. “We could finish what you started …”

“You mean before you broke my nose?” I grab her hands as her fingers loop in the waistband of my sweats.

She steps closer and arches her back, rubbing her hips against mine. Fucking temptress. “Come on, Sterling. I know you want to.”

I groan, because I really fucking want to. But Cade and Kai are waiting downstairs and we really do have a lot we need work on. I take her face in my hands and lean in, stopping just shy of our lips meeting. “Get dressed, kitten.” I step back and she stumbles forward, her balance thrown off from leaning forward into the almost kiss. An indignant sound escapes her and I grin, backing toward the door. “Cade said ten minutes. You’re probably down to seven by now.”

Her curses follow me down the stairs.

“Good, but next time I want you to react quicker.” Cade and Ellis have been working on magic lessons for the past forty minutes, and Ellis’s reactions have been progressively getting slower as she tires.

“I’m trying, Cade,” she says, a hint of whine in her voice.

Kai and I are sitting in the grass, leaning against the cabin. His head has been tipped toward the sky, watching the stars twinkle and the moon slowly drift across the black expanse. I’ve been watching Ellis.

Sometimes it still hits me unexpectedly that she’s my mate. I went so long watching from afar, keeping our bond secret from everyone. Being able to act on it, to act on my feelings for her, has been mindblowing. I’m not sure I’ll ever really get over that. And having things restored with me and the guys has been great too. I missed them. My wolf missed them. Even with everything we’re dealing with, the little glimpses of what life could be like with Ellis and the three of us, makes my wolf incredibly happy. His pack is whole, and that’s all that matters.

Cade fires off two blasts of magic, one right after the other, and Ellis barely manages to duck out of the way of the second. She gives Cade an incredulous look, the wings behind her back shuffling with irritation.

“Do you think she could learn to fly?” I ask Kai quietly.

He shifts his gaze to the pair practicing magic. “I bet she could, but my guess is she’ll never learn. The amount of core strength it would require would deter her from ever trying. Once all of this is over, she’ll probably put those things away and never get them back out again. And I can’t say I blame her.” He shrugs as he watches Ellis try to block Cade’s magic with her own. “She’s never really lived a normal life. Even after we get through this, her life won’t be normal. Being fated to three guys?” He snorts and shakes his head.

I nod in agreement. “Yeah, but we can make it as normal as possible for her.”

“Oh, for sure. We wi—” Kai cuts off as the sound of a car rumbling up the mountain reaches our ears.

We both stand and walk to the front of the house, Cade and Ellis following behind after a moment for Ellis to tuck those wings away. When the person behind the wheel becomes visible, my stomach flips over. Ellis gasps and comes to stand next to me, wrapping herself around my arm.

“Is that …” she asks, trailing off.

I nod. “Yeah.”

The car parks and Cole hops out, his gaze traveling over the four of us standing in front of the cabin. When it lands on me and Ellis, his jaw tightens and he slams the car door shut.

“Let’s give them some privacy,” Cade says quietly, tugging Kai away.

“You okay?” Ellis asks, peering up at me.

I look down at her and my heart breaks seeing the concern and care in her amber eyes. “Hopefully. I guess it will depend on how this goes.”

Before I can turn back to my brother, Ellis stands on her toes and takes my face in her hands. “No matter what happens, I’m here. Just say the word.” She lifts a little higher to place a soft kiss on my lips. “I love you, Sterling.”

I can’t stop myself. My hands tangle in her curls and I hold her to me, deepening the kiss. “I love you too, kitten,” I whisper against her mouth.

When she pulls away, she levels a stare at Cole, and my mouth quirks into a smile. No matter how fierce she tries to be, she just looks adorable to me. With a final parting glare, she turns around and follows Cade and Kai.

Cole turns his attention to the cabin. “I didn’t know we owned a cabin.”

“Yeah. You were only a pup the last time we visited with dad.” I still remember that visit. Dad wasn’t doing well, but he wanted the family to spend some time together away from pack responsibilities. Cole was three and an absolute menace. He got into everything he wasn’t supposed to, and I made sure to help him as much as I could. Mom saw all of it, and let most of it slide.

Cole grunts and runs his hands through his thick, black hair. “Want to take a walk?”

“Sure.” I head for the trees to the right of the house, but Cole pauses.

“You’re just going to leave your mate here unprotected?”

“She’s not unprotected. Cade and Kai are here.”

He stares at me and blinks slowly in disbelief. “You trust her safety with someone else?” he asks incredulously.

Wolves are notoriously over protective of their mates. Luckily, mine has two others bonded to her to keep her safe. That gives my wolf the ability to be a bit more chill than others.

I smile. “Yeah. She’s perfectly safe with them.”

Cole shakes his head in disbelief but follows me. We walk in silence, weaving through the pine trees. The moon lights a dappled path through for us. Dead needles crunch under our feet, and the scent of nature and prey drifts to us on the breeze. My wolf wants to run, to hunt. But he’ll have to wait.

“So,” I say, clearing my throat.

He sighs. “Ellis came to talk to me.”

“Yeah, I know. She did that without my knowledge, by the way.” The paralyzing fear I experienced during that time resurfaces, and I rub my chest to make it go away.

“She told me a little bit about her life.” He swallows, the sound loud in the quiet forest. “And damn, she went through a lot.”

I nod, anger curling in my gut just thinking about Sam and what he did to her. “Yeah, she’s been through hell and back. But it only made her stronger in the end.”

Cole pauses and leans against a tree, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Mom’s pretty much in love with her.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” I say, smiling. It makes my heart happy to know I have given my mom something positive to think about.

“So, what’s your story, then?” Cole looks at me, cutting straight to chase. His blue eyes, so similar to mine, pierce through me.

I take a deep breath and sit on a fallen log, staring at the ground. If Ellis can share her story, with all the horrible aspects of her past, then I can share mine. “I guess it all started when dad died.” That day was horrible. The collective howl of mourning from the pack still echoes in my mind. “I was too young to take dad’s place, and it didn’t take long for Noah to gain control of the pack.”

Cole grunts and I run a hand down my face, refusing to look at him. I don’t know what I’ll do if I see a negative expression on his face.

“As I’m sure you’re aware, he used me and you against mom. She had to do what he said or else he threatened to hurt us. Well, he did that to me too. He made me do what he wanted, and threatened you and mom if I didn’t. He told me if I challenged him for alpha, he’d kill you guys. So I spent those years after dad’s death doing Noah’s bidding.”

I risk a glance at Cole. He’s looking at the ground, chewing on his bottom lip. None of this should come as a surprise to him. I’m sure our mom has told him what happened.

“One of the things Noah tasked me with, was joining the group of wolves he ordered to kill Ellis, her mom, and her sister.” I push up from the log, unable to sit still as I talk about that horrid night. “I knew as soon as I stepped into the house my mate was there. I followed her scent to the kitchen, to the pantry she was hiding in. I contemplated grabbing her and running. But she was only sixteen, and her family had just been murdered. It wouldn’t have gone over well for me.”

I pace between two trees and face the rush of feelings head on. “I still remember the mix of emotions inside me that night. Joy at finding my mate. Terror at realizing Noah wanted her dead. Heartache at losing her right after I found her.

“I kept her safe that night. I told Noah she wasn’t there and I convinced him to let it go. Whatever reasons he wanted her dead, he dropped. I kept an eye on her after that. I made sure she was safe. I made sure Noah never got it into his head again to hurt her. It was pure torture, watching her from afar and not being able to go to her. Not being able to claim her was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Why did Noah let it go? Why did he want her family dead?” Cole asks quietly.

“I didn’t know at the time. But we found out later that Noah was her father. She and her sister were the result of an affair, which is why neither of them had powers. No shifting, no magic. Nothing. Noah didn’t want to risk either of them coming back to challenge him, despite the fact they were human.” And probably because he found out from Sam that one of them had some kind of special power, not that Cole needs to know that yet.

I sit back down on the log and rest my elbows on my knees. “The night I left the pack, my wolf took over. He tried to challenge Noah. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get control of him. Alex fought me. Gave me this scar.” I finger the smooth, raised line running from above my right eyebrow to below my eye. “That was the only thing that gave me the ability to take control back from my wolf. I left. I had to. I couldn’t risk my wolf taking over again. I couldn’t risk challenging Noah and having him hurt you or mom.”

I look at him finally. He’s watching me, but I can’t read the expression on his face. “It wasn’t easy, Cole.” I have to clear my throat at the thickness that gathers. “Choosing to leave my family behind, knowing they were stuck living under that bastard’s rule. It tore me up. But I thought it was for the best. At least you were still alive.”

He looks away. “So you just lived your life of luxury knowing mom and I were living with that bastard.”

I sigh. “It wasn’t exactly luxury. I fell in with Kai. His dad hired me to do his dirty work with Kai and Cade. I went from doing Noah’s bidding, to Kai’s dad’s. Yeah, I had money. Yeah, I had all the perks that came with being friends with the vampire prince. But I was living without my family. Without my mate. I wasn’t so much living as surviving. Not too differently from you, I would guess.”

“Why wait?” he asks, looking at me again. “You knew your mate was out there. I get you didn’t want to risk her at first. But why now? What took you so long to decide to claim her and take back the pack?”

“That’s another long, complicated story.” I rub a hand down my face and sigh heavily. “It turns out Ellis is a harpy.” I hear Cole suck in a sharp breath and shift on his feet, but I don’t look at him. “Kai, Cade, and I are her Shields. We’re bound to her, to protect her and help her achieve her goal of bringing balance back to the world.”

“A harpy?” he breathes shakily.

“She feels that one of her jobs is to restore balance to the wolves by making sure I become alpha.” Now I glance at him, to gauge his reaction to that statement.

He studies me for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip. “So, if it weren’t for Ellis deciding this, you wouldn’t have ever come back? You would have let the pack, and your family, rot under Noah’s rule?”

I shake my head. “No. I never would have left you to that fate. I always planned on coming back. With Ellis as my mate I always intended to have a discussion with everyone about taking control of the pack. It would have had to be a team decision, because we’re all tied together now.” I shrug and look down at the forest floor. “But, Ellis took things into her own hands. And honestly? I’m glad she did.” I can’t look at him as I continue. If he refuses, I’ll never recover from the hurt. “The second you were born, Cole, my wolf knew. He knew you were supposed to be my beta. And without you by my side, I don’t want to do this. I don’t think I can do it.”

“Fuck,” he mumbles. I risk a glance at him, and find him rubbing his eyes hard enough he’s probably seeing stars. “If I’m being honest, I want to say no. I want to hurt you as much as you hurt me.”

I recoil like his words are a physical slap across my face. My heart splits into thousands of pieces and crumbles to the forest floor.

“I was only five years old when you left, Sterling. I didn’t understand it. You were the person I looked up to the most, and I felt like you abandoned me. Like you didn’t care about me as much as I cared about you.” Cole’s voice cracks and he clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck.

I shake my head, wanting him to know that is not true. I never stopped loving him. Not a day went by that I didn’t think of him and my mom. But he doesn’t give me a chance.

“I know now that isn’t true, but it doesn’t erase the years of hurt I felt.” He pushes off the tree and paces the same path I just did moments before.

“I know I’ll never be able to make it up to you. I know saying sorry fixes nothing. But I’m truly sorry, Cole. You have no idea how much. I did the only thing I could think of. I don’t know if it was the right thing, but in the moment, it was all I had.”

He purses his lips, but nods his head. “I’ll be your beta.”

My head snaps up, breath catching my throat. “Seriously?”

“It needs to be done.” He shrugs. “I’d like to help bring the pack back to what it used to be. I can’t guarantee … I don’t know if …” He sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose. “It’s going to take me time to open up and let you in.”

I nod. “I get that. Take all the time you need.” Because even just the hope that I may get my brother back is enough to keep me going.