These Wicked Desires (Fates #3)

22. Ellis

Ellis

I’m going to puke. And at the same time, I can’t fucking breathe. The abandoned office building spins in my vision, and I drop to the ground. The hard tile floor bites into my knees, but the pain doesn’t even register. I’m too focused on trying to get oxygen into my lungs while keeping my stomach from emptying itself. Even though there’s nothing in it to empty.

It’s not just the fear of losing one of my Shields. It’s not just worry over my sister. I’m going to come face to face with Sam today. My tormenter. My abuser. My deepest nightmare. All of the wounds that have been healing because of my guys, are slowly being reopened. The scabs are peeling away, exposing the raw, bloody nerves that hurt just to think about. I will never be able to face Sam and not fall back into the darkness that I lived in for so long.

Kai kneels in front of me and takes my face in his hands. His gray eyes search mine, but I can’t even focus on them. I squeeze my eyes shut to block out the way everything is tipping from side to side.

“Look at me, baby girl.” His thumb rubs gently back and forth on my cheek. I pry my eyes open, hating how they burn with tears. “I’m going to compel you, okay? Just to help you stay calm.”

Relief and shame wash through me at the same time. I hate that I need him to do this, but if he doesn’t, I’ll never get through what's to come. I nod and stare into his gray eyes as they start to glow with an eerie inner light.

“Breathe, Ellis.” His voice sounds hollow and echoey, but at the same time holds a commanding expectation that I’m drawn to. “You’re going to remain calm while you face Sam. You won’t panic when you see him. Everything is going to be okay.”

His words claw through my brain and latch on. Immediately, the panic recedes, and I’m able to take a deep breath. My body droops, already exhausted from how much energy I’ve expended from worry alone. Kai catches me and hauls me to his chest. I let him hold me for just a moment, letting his strength further bolster my confidence.

“Thank you,” I whisper against his black henley.

He kisses the top of my head and helps me to my feet. Everyone is standing around, dressed in various forms of combat gear—leather armor, fatigues, and lots of weapons. I tug my black shirt down and straighten my spine.

“Okay,” Sterling says, his voice quiet but still echoing in the empty office building. “My group will wait here for a few minutes to allow you guys time to get inside and distract Sam. Connor will go with you far enough to help Cade break through the wards. Everyone understand?”

We all nod and my group heads for the door. Sterling stops me, grabbing my arm and spinning me to face him. He takes my head in his hands and tilts it up so I’m looking at him. “Be careful, Ellis. Stay with Cade and Kai. No matter what happens, don’t leave them.” His icy blue eyes search mine, and I nod. He leans forward and presses a kiss to my lips. “I love you,” he says against my mouth. “Please come back to me.”

The same words I said to him before he ran off and got captured. The same words I said when he challenged Noah. My throat tightens and I have a hard time drawing in a breath, so I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. “I love you too, Sterling.” My voice breaks on his name and I have to pull away. If I don’t, I’m liable to fall apart again, despite Kai’s thrall.

Pushing past him, I grab Cade’s hand and we walk out the door, leaving Sterling behind. Kai’s thrall is helping to keep me semi steady. I’m able to breathe, and my heart isn’t racing to the point where I’m afraid I’ll pass out. But the nausea hasn’t subsided. I press my hands to my stomach and swallow. It doesn’t help.

Connor and Cade step up to the ward and they both frown. Cade steps forward, and walks right through. His magic sweeps ahead of him, a faint purple light that races toward the building.

“No ward. At all.” He looks at Kai and Cole, worry pinching his brow.

Kai shrugs, taking my hand. “It doesn’t surprise me. He wants us to come. Why try to keep us out?”

We walk to the front door, Connor turning around to head back to the other group. Our plan is to distract Sam long enough for them to get in and get Gracie. Then I can end this once and for all. My fingers shake in Kai’s grasp and he gives my hand an encouraging squeeze.

Each step brings me closer and closer to the monster of my nightmares. Each step is one step closer to maybe losing someone I love. Unable to stomach that thought any longer, I tear my hand out of Kai’s grasp and dash to the edge of the walkway. Bending over, I heave spit and bile onto the grass. There was nothing in my stomach to bring back up, but that doesn’t stop my body from trying.

Kai and Cade close in on either side of me. One tucking an escaped curl behind my ear, the other rubbing circles on my back. I take comfort in their presence, reminding myself that they are with me and I don’t have to see Sam alone. Their light and love will help banish the memories that try to drag me under. I wipe my mouth on my sleeve and stand, grimacing at the foul taste clinging to my tongue.

“You okay?” Cade asks, peering into my eyes.

I nod, too afraid if I open my mouth to speak I’ll either puke again or break down in tears. He kisses my forehead before taking my hand and leading me up the cracked front steps of the building.

The ‘warehouse’ as Sam calls it, is an old elementary school he purchased from the city. It was never the nicest building to begin with, but under his ownership, it’s fallen into more disrepair. Vines cling to the tan brick, digging fingers between the stones in an attempt to claw them from the facade. Many of the windows have been boarded up, but a few remain with intact glass. One of those is how we got in the first time when we rescued Sterling.

The main doors are solid metal with small windows peering inside. It’s impossible to see what color they are in the dim light, but they look rusted and derelict. Cole yanks one open and holds it as we file inside.

The air is stale and metallic. Like all the blood from the torture occuring in the basement has permeated the entire structure. There are no wards keeping us out here either, but just inside the main vestibule, a pair of guards stand alert.

Kai steps up to them, flexing his hands like he wants to wrap them around their necks. “We’d like to talk to Sam.”

The guard on the left smiles. It’s creepy and malevolent, and displays his missing front teeth. The other guard sends chills down my spine. His blank gaze stares at us. No. Not us. Me. He looks at me, but it’s more like he’s looking through me. I shiver, and Cade steps between us, blocking the guard’s view.

“He’s been waiting for you,” Toothless says, his voice raspy and harsh. “Follow me.”

Kai takes the lead behind Toothless, and Cole falls into place behind me and Cade. Sweat slicks my hands, and I know Cade can feel it, but he only holds on tighter. The guard leads us down the hallway, and the closer we get to Sam, the more Sterling’s pearl necklace warms under my shirt. A warning I didn’t need. An enemy is close by.

The alternating tan and brown linoleum tiles are chipped and peeling. Ceiling tiles stained with water damage line the ceiling; a few of them are missing, leaving the impression of empty eye sockets or gaping teeth. Wooden classroom doors with narrow windows line the hallway, most of them closed. Sterling and his group will be coming in through the windows of one of these rooms.

There are no other guards like the last time. I have a sinking suspicion most of them have been placed in the basement, where the cells and torture chamber are housed. The only other guards I see are the two standing in front of a room that I assume Sam has turned into his office.

“Tell the boss she’s here,” Toothless says as we come to stop before them.

Similar to the guards at the entrance, one appears more human than the other. The less human one has a blank stare that sees through everything. Like there is nothing alive inside the body. The human guard turns around and opens the wooden door, sticking his head inside to let Sam know I’m here. When he steps back out and holds the door open for us, I take a deep breath and remind myself that I am not alone as I step inside to face my nightmare.

Sam sits behind a rusting metal desk. It’s nothing like his office in Thomas Kennedy’s building. That office is posh, comfortable, and dripping with wealth. This one … not so much. The office chair is rickety, the wheels look like they won’t even roll, and I think one of the arms may be missing.

The man, though, is as polished and imposing as ever. In his black suit with a light green button-up, he looks like any rich guy you’d meet on the streets of Altair. His brown hair is slicked back, showcasing his strong jaw and brown eyes. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was attractive. I do know better though. Under that facade of a handsome, normal mage, beats the heart of a monster with the blackest possible soul.

He smiles, his gaze landing on me. “Ellis, doll. It’s a pleasure to see you again. I’ve missed you so much.”

So genuine. He is so convincing in his earnestness. It’s no wonder I fell for his lies. I say nothing. But I straighten my back and lift my chin, a sudden sense of calm settling over me. I won’t fall for his lies again. He can’t trick me again. I’ve trained and prepared for this. My guys have made sure I can handle anything thrown at me, and I’m stronger than I was when I was dating Sam.

“We’re here for Grace Kennedy,” Kai says, stepping in front of me.

Sam chuckles, a dark sound that makes me recoil. “You can have her. If I can have Ellis.”

“Not happening.” Kai cocks his head, and I can picture his grin, fangs glinting in the dim light.

“Then I keep Grace.” Sam crosses his arms and leans back in the chair. I expect it to tip backward, but I’m disappointed when it only creaks. “Although I imagine I’ll have both of them in just a few moments.”

Kai stiffens and his hands curl. I bet he’s wishing he had claws right about now, but his fangs are probably insanely long. “What do you want with Ellis?” Yep. Based on his distorted words, his fangs are huge.

Sam’s smile makes me take a step back. “Besides that tight little cunt?” The way he looks at me, his eyes traveling up and down my body, I know he’s imagining me naked.

Paralyzing fear spears through me. Naked, bound in burning bands of his green magic, forced to endure his endless assault on my body. Even Kai’s thrall can’t keep the panic at bay. My fingers tingle, but it’s not a sign of my magic. Numbness spreads up my arms, my body going into shock.

Always the observant one, the one that knows what to do, Cade steps closer to me. His hand brushes my lower back, and a pulsing warmth radiates outward from the spot. I’ve always felt as if Cade’s magic was a part of me. Every time it touches me, it’s like a bit of myself returning home. As the warmth spreads up my back and down my shoulders, I’m able to take a deep breath.

“I think you know exactly why I want her,” Sam continues. “I want her powers. I want her magic. Just think of everything I could achieve with it.” An evil grin spreads across his face, his brown eyes sparkling with his green magic. “The use of her body is just a bonus.”

I know there is no point in trying to tell him my powers are tied to my Shields. Without them, I’m nothing. Sam is too far gone in his fanatic thoughts to listen to reason, though.

Kai snarls, taking one step forward. “You’ll never have her.”

Sam’s laugh freezes the blood in my veins. “Oh, but you’re wrong.” He snaps his fingers and faster than I can track, people rush into the room.

No. Not people. Creatures. More of those beings with lifeless eyes. They move faster than any magical creature I know of. Cade, Kai, and Cole don’t even get a chance to take up fighting stances. Before I know what’s happening, they are held captive by Sam’s creations, struggling and cursing, trying to get free. I watch as needles disappear into Cade and Cole’s necks, and I know exactly what that means. They will no longer have access to their magic.

I stand frozen in place, heart beating erratically. This time, I think it’s Kai’s heart that mine is echoing. His gray eyes are wild as he struggles to free himself. But it’s useless. Those creatures have them all bound too tightly. Whatever Sam has done to alter them has made them too powerful. We can’t fight them.

Sam stands from the chair and walks around his desk. I want to take a step back, to cower, but I keep myself still, imagining Cade’s magic still warming me. Green sparks at Sam’s fingertips, his magic growing brighter until it wreathes his arms. With a wave of his hand, his magic shoots out and wraps around Kai, Cade, and Cole's throats.

The three of them jerk and gasp, until the bands tighten. Kai's fight intensifies, until Sam steps in front of him and cocks his head. I can see the band tighten further, the indentation digging deep into the pale skin of his neck.

"Stop!" I step forward, reaching a hand out to Sam. "Stop hurting them!" Do I use my magic? Do I reveal it now or wait? Sam already knows I have power, so what would the harm be in trying to stop him?

Golden flames burn to life at my fingertips as I take another step forward. But before I can raise my hands to try to stop Sam, he pulls another syringe from his pocket and waves it in front of me.

“If you get any closer, you’ll find yourself just as useless as the others.” His eyes shoot to Kai in front of him. “And you’ll get to watch as I slowly squeeze the life out of the vampire.” The bands around Kai’s neck tighten with his words, and his tendons pop as he struggles to free himself and take a breath.

Cole's face is turning red. And Cade's eyes are unfocused and beginning to dim. All of their movements are becoming more jerky. Their fight is slowing. Even if they had been able to break free before, now they never will be able to.

Sam is going to choke the life right out of them.

Sharp, hot panic flares inside of me, making my heart stutter and my breath catch. "Stop! I'll go with you! Just stop hurting them!"