This Blood that Bonds Us (This Blood that Binds Us #4)

17. Seventeen

Seventeen

Kimberly

I flipped through the pages of a book, pretending to care. I’d already cooked with Vera, watched her eat, and listened to her stories. I cared, but not more than I cared about where the boys were.

I couldn’t stop looking at the door between the paragraphs that weren’t registering in my brain.

They were fine , I told myself over and over again, but I’d been thinking over every scenario. The most likely ones were all leading down roads I didn’t want to believe in. Legion. The Family. They could be here. They could have taken them somewhere I wouldn’t be able find them, then I’d never see either of them again.

I repeated the cycle again. Read a paragraph. Glanced at the door. Spiral.

I was about to start counting the words on the page when Presley emerged with a brown bag and a milk jug. “Here you go, Mom. Aaron’s turning in for the night I think.”

“What? Why?”

“I think he just wants some alone time.” Presley looked at me and raised his brows.

I was instantly on my feet, excusing myself, then out the door. I’d slipped my shoes on the wrong feet, then stumbled my way to our cabin.

A fire cracked in our fireplace, and the flames cast a glow on the wall as I climbed my way to the loft.

Aaron peeled off his shirt as I entered. A strange scent lingered on the clothes at his feet. Nothing I could easily identify. Then I saw the deep red covering him as he dropped his jeans.

He turned to me. “It’s not what it looks like. It’s deer blood.”

“Oh.” My shoulders pulled back as a flush of heat ran through me.

I refused to move as he pulled some pajama pants from his backpack. There was still blood smudged over his face and torso where it had stained through his shirt.

I went for a rag on the kitchen counter and a bottle of water. It was mostly frozen solid.

“Sit. Tell me what happened. Where did you go?” I said, cornering him at the edge of the bed.

He stared at the floor while I poured some of the freezing water on the rag to dab it on his skin.

He winced when it touched him. Good. I forced the lump down my throat.

“I was feeling overwhelmed with thirst and needed some air and just started walking through the trees. I attacked a deer . . . I knew it wouldn’t help, but I was desperate.”

I said nothing, moving the towel to wipe the red from his cheek and lips.

“I just didn’t want to drink from you again.”

I stopped, placing the rag on the bedside table. “Does it help?”

“Yeah . . .”

I met his gaze. The lamplight illuminated the lingering warmth in his eyes.

His pupils consumed me, fixing me in place at his side. He was starving for blood, but I wouldn’t let him off that easily.

“This isn’t working,” I said, moving away from him and toward the dresser.

Aaron’s rigid form dissolved like snow in the sun. “What?”

“I mean, you can’t just leave. I thought someone took you. You were gone for so long, and I-I . . .”

“I’m sorry.”

“You wouldn’t want me to go off and leave you in the cabin. You wouldn’t want Presley to do that.”

“I know, you’re right.”

“Let me be angry for a minute.” I spun around, and he was standing next to me.

“Okay.”

“You scared me.”

He stepped forward, with all his attention on my face. “I know.”

“You need to start talking to me. You need to tell me when something is wrong. I can’t help you if you shut me out. That’s what they want. They want you to run off by yourself and disappear and go back to Her.”

I was surprised by how my voice shook. My chest was tight with worry. I eyed the door, and something stirred in my stomach, telling me to run. I couldn’t imagine it. I wouldn’t.

Her lips on his cheek. Her breath on his neck.

Aaron moved a hand under my chin. “Keep going.”

“You not telling me anything is selfish. If something happened to you, everything would fall apart.” I would fall apart. “I know you’re scared. But we’re all scared. And the only way we’re going to get through this is if we’re radically honest and if we work together.”

His thumb rubbed my bottom lip, and I sucked in a breath. The heat of his skin set goose bumps over my mine.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I promise I won’t run away again.”

He leaned into my lips. Soft as a feather. My hands shook, and as he grabbed them, I realized his were shaking too. He needed to feed but was holding himself back for me.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He wiped the wetness gathered at the corner of my eyes. “I’ll be radically honest . . . I’ve never wanted anything else as much as I want you. I want to make love to you, Burns. Real and proper. I want to be near you and to touch you. But I can’t think. I can’t focus. This Thing in my head won’t leave me alone. But you and your blood make me feel like myself again, and it’s so confusing. All I’ve ever wanted was to give you something safe and normal, so taking blood from you feels like I’m . . . corrupting you. It scares me. I don’t want to mess this up, and I feel like I am already. You deserve so much, and I’m—”

I stilled him with a finger to his lips.

His forehead touched mine, and I was crushed under the weight of his gaze and the way his hands dug into my hips.

“You don’t have to be afraid,” I said.

“You’re never afraid.”

“You know that’s not true, but one thing I can assure you is that I’m never afraid of you.”

He kissed me again, and I tried to stifle the moan that leaped from my throat.

I pressed myself to him tighter and tighter. We were finally alone, with only the crackling fire in the fireplace downstairs.

Aaron must have sensed my urgency. Because we lost the little space between us. With both hands, he moved the hair from my neck and grabbed the sides of my face. He nipped down my jaw and up to my ear. The feel of his breath on my neck made my core tighten. Slowly, he ran his lips under my ear, and I shuddered. He was exploring me and showing his cards at the same time. Pleasure seared my skin, and I fought against the growing ache between my thighs.

His hands trembled as he continued to kiss my neck.

“You need blood.”

“Mm-hm.” His attention stayed at my throat where the wetness of his lips turned to careful licks from his tongue.

“It’s okay . . . you can bite me. I want you to,” I said breathlessly.

He pulled away, holding me so tight his fingers imprinted my cheeks.

“You want me to?” The words tumbled out slowly as the light left his irises a soft, warm honey smothered by shadow.

I did. I craved his closeness. I’d tried not to think of that moment in the car, but I couldn’t get it out of my head because I’d wanted to give him more.

I nodded as he towered over me.

His jaw tensed like he might protest again. I thought back to that boy in the forest last spring. He was still him, but he’d had to fight to be the sweet, caring person I knew him to be. He was at war with himself again, weighing his options, but there was desperation in his eyes, and I wondered what it must feel like to have Her blood swirling around with his and tainting his every thought and feeling.

There was one thing I knew for sure: it created a much deeper hunger in him.

A hunger I wanted to fill.

When his lips met mine again, they were greedier. Rushed and hurried.

My back hit the wall, and a feral growl ripped from his throat. This time, I hadn’t imagined it. I was pinned with no way to escape. My lip was caught between his teeth, harder than ever before, but it didn’t hurt.

He bit into my neck. His venom cooled any bite and left me with gentle pressure, but everywhere else, pressure grew. His knee parted my legs, and I whimpered at the sensation of him digging into me. Sweet and slow, he took his time. A gentle tingling ran down my arms and into my fingertips, and it was far from unpleasant. I savored the feeling of his lips on my skin, longing for me. I wanted to bond with him in a way we could have never done before I changed.

When he pulled away, I knew this time would be different than any time we’d ever been alone.

He wouldn’t stop, and neither would I.

“Aaron . . .”

Did my heartbeat give me away? Or was it the flush in my cheeks? My whole body was on fire, and my pulse drummed loudly in my ears. Could he tell how badly I needed him in that moment? Could he tell I wasn’t scared?

I gasped as he snapped the buttons on my flannel, exposing my chest.

“Say it again.” He kissed my skin, lightly sucking along my collarbone.

My core ached. Burned. I needed him closer. With hands in his hair, I pulled him tight to my chest, and his fangs entered my skin again.

I obliged his request and moaned his name again. He groaned, taking in more of me. It hurt more than the bite on my neck but not enough to stop. The warmth of his lips against my cool skin made me shudder. I felt lighter. Almost like being intoxicated but better.

I’d never felt safer in my entire life.

Everything slowed. All that existed was him, and I fell into his glorious rhythm and the feel of his body grinding into me. The rocking of his hips pulled pleasure from me in waves.

“Are you okay?” His voice was soft against my ear.

Where he’d bitten me was a slight wetness. The wound was closing, and my body was slower, but I wasn’t focused on every little sound anymore. My head was finally empty.

I didn’t mind the feeling of emptiness if Aaron was there to fill the void.

“I feel . . . human. But I’m glad I’m not.”

His lips curled in a smile. “Right now, me too.”

With warm hands on my face, he pulled me in for a kiss. Slowly, he came back to himself. And that was good too. Still desperate and full of yearning but less rushed.

How long had I wanted this?

It seemed like forever. The fruition of yearning I hadn’t even known I had. All those longing stares. When he’d touched me, and I’d begged him not to stop.

His fingers coiled in my hair as he lay me back on the bed and pulled off what was left of my shirt. With two arms pinning me to the bed, he leaned in close to my lips.

“We could stop.”

I didn’t want to stop. I’d never wanted him to stop. We just had to.

He’d been a safe place for so long, and I was ready for him to consume every part of me. I’d been ready.

“Don’t stop touching me.”

Aaron fell into me with a fevered kiss. Soft at first, then harder. I pulled him closer, wrapping my legs around his waist. His fangs entered my neck as his hips ground into me.

I gasped, and the ache between my thighs deepened.

I wanted to be everything he needed. I needed to. The room was spinning, but I felt solid.

The dim light of the lamp illuminated his face as he licked his lips.

“You don’t need to be gentle with me,” I whispered.

His eyes ignited with a carnal thirst, then he pulled me toward him. Hard. With one pull, my bra was off and thrown tattered to the floor. With hot breath, he licked at the wound on my neck.

“You taste so good, Burns. You have no idea.”

He moved his thumb over my neck, then to my lips. My blood coated his fingers, and it was still warm when it fell on my own tongue.

“See.”

“I-I . . .”

Aaron had never looked at me like that. The ferocity of it stilled me, and I opened my mouth for him.

Warmth pooled in my gut as I licked my blood from his fingers. Our eyes stayed locked with each dizzying second. I wasn’t focused on the metallic taste, just the act of submitting to him.

“Fuck, I can’t handle this,” he said through gritted teeth.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know how I’m going to stop touching you. I don’t know how it’s ever going to be enough.”

I hung on his every word, savoring the yearning in his voice. It was just for me. Aaron Calem was all mine.

But he was still holding back, afraid I was the fragile girl I used to be.

Slowly and carefully, I traced the lines on his chest. I reached for his pajama pants strings, and he stopped me.

“Not yet. Let me feel you a little longer.”

I opened my mouth to protest.

“I can’t think straight when you’re touching me. And I need more time to make you feel good.”

It wasn’t up for debate. He kissed down my legs, that were already shaking from the need.

“Don’t you want me to touch you?”

“Yes,” I gasped.

I couldn’t form sentences. The only thing coming from my lips were whispered utterances of his name.

“Here?” He sucked at the tender skin by my knee.

“Please—”

“Or here.” The wetness of his lips reached my inner thigh.

I squirmed, and that only made him hold me tighter. His gentle laughter grazed my thigh as I uttered his name again.

There was slight pressure as his teeth bit into my leg. I thrust a hand over my mouth to keep quiet while he drank, and it was quick.

“Sorry, I’ve been daydreaming about that for a long time.” He moved to stroke me between my legs.

“How long?” I said, staring up at the skylight.

“Long. I tried not to think about it because I didn’t think I’d ever be able to or if you’d want me to . . .”

I arched into him while his fingers continued to circle where I needed him most.

“It hurt not to be able to touch you like this.”

It was too much. And yet not enough. Aaron had wanted me like this.

He’d imagined touching me and biting me. I’d imagined it too, but it was new for me. To want this, and to feel this safe and wanted by another person.

I wanted to open up to him.

The heat in my core swelled in the cold night air. I needed more pressure. Suddenly, I felt empty. Like I so desperately needed something I wasn’t getting. I’d never wanted someone to touch me in the way Aaron had until I met him. All that trust and love was overwhelming and pulling at me, urging me to make this moment last and give Aaron a part of me I’d given no one else.

“Don’t be quiet. I wanna hear you.”

“But—”

In my head, I ran through all the reasons that wasn’t a good idea, and I was going to tell him until his kisses up my chest stopped and he sucked my nipple into his mouth.

“Aaron,” I gasped.

The suction sent my hips grinding into his.

“You’re perfect,” Aaron said, his breath grazing my breast.

“Aaron, please.”

It felt good. It felt amazing, but I needed him closer. I needed him so desperately I could hardly get the words out. It was embarrassing to admit, but not in the arms of someone I trusted more than I’d ever trusted anyone.

I dug my fingers into his arm and pulled him up to me. “I-I need you closer to me.”

He rested his forehead on mine. “I’m yours, Burns.”

With carefulness, he lifted my hips to peel off my underwear, and worry drew across his face. His brow creased, and my underwear fell to the floor. I helped him with his pajama pants and leaned back on the bed while he kissed my forehead.

His kiss was soft, less sure than before.

“We can go slow.”

“You’re still holding back.” I cradled his face in my hands, with my bare legs wrapped around his waist.

Then I understood. Beneath his amber eyes was that Thing lying in wait and threatening to overtake him. He wasn’t just afraid of hurting me, he feared losing himself.

I knotted his hair in my hands. “You’ll always be my Aaron. No matter what.”

The light flickered in his eyes before he consumed me. One final moment of permission before taking every liberty he wanted and craved. It was at that moment I promised myself I would guard his soul from any terror and darkness. Aaron would always be my sunlight. Even if that meant I’d have to rip the moon out of the sky to save him from the dark.

“You have to tell me if this is too much. Don’t let me hurt you. Tell me and we’ll stop.”

“Okay. I will. But don’t stop. Please.”

“Kim, don’t beg.”

“I need you.”

“I won’t stop.” He said it with a certainty that had every inch of my body yearning for release, and I wanted it to be him who gave it. “I’ll give you everything . . . anything you want, it’s yours.”

My breath was the only sound. That and my hammering heartbeat.

“I don’t know if I can be gentle enough.”

His hands shook, and I kissed them, placing them on my bare breasts.

“That’s okay.”

Aaron guided his length to my opening, and I involuntarily tensed.

He pressed his forehead to mine. “I love you.”

A flush of heat ran through me as he pushed into me slowly.

Then I was stretched and full. A new, unexplored feeling. Not bad—just new. My hands twisted into the sheets, and the need for him burned me alive. An aching that wouldn’t relent.

As he moved inside me, I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think. It was just Aaron everywhere, and it’s exactly what I needed.

He kept his eyes on me as his lips brushed my ear. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” I said breathlessly.

I knew I’d needed him, but I didn’t know I needed him there till he was there. People enjoyed sex. That wasn’t a secret. But I didn’t know it was like this.

I didn’t know anything could feel like this.

“Don’t stop.”

He groaned into my neck. “You’re so beautiful.”

My hips moved on their own to bring him farther into me. Every bit of him alleviated the aching that pulsed in my veins. Aaron cursed while placing his hands on the bed frame, and the wood cracked and split under the pressure of his palms.

“This is good. You’re so good.”

My whole body thrummed with the feeling of him. From my scalp to my toes, he was there. Caressing my head. Squeezing my body. Pinning me to the bed. It was a lot. I’d never been so engulfed by another person.

“I love you.” The words poured from my lips between thrusts of his hips.

There was only one way to describe what I was feeling—love consuming me alive. Piece by piece. I’d never known love could feel this good. This safe. The world was on fire. I forgot about the cold. I forgot about everything but this.

Our bodies blended in one glorious symphony of pleasure.

“Stay here with me.” I meant it in every way a person could mean those words.

Never leave.

Let us always have this.

Love me like this forever.

When his hand touched my face, it was soft as a feather.

“I will. I’m right here.”

He went deeper. Filling me and stifling that part of me that was burning out of control. I wanted to thank him because it was perfect. Blissful. This need was new, and it felt good to have him fulfill it. The thought only opened me up further. Aaron paid more attention to my face, leaving soft kisses along my jaw and up to my forehead.

With one arm, he lifted my leg up, and the moan that escaped me was louder than I’d expected.

“Right there, huh?”

I couldn’t think. All of the power I’d had in my body, I’d freely given to Aaron, and now I was weak and woozy, yet whole and content with his arms wrapped around me.

My gasp echoed in the cabin, followed by another incoherent scrambling of sounds.

His name lingered on my lips and only got louder and louder.

“Yeah?” He kissed me with each thrust. “You’re so pretty like this.”

The pulling in my stomach built with the friction. I gripped his shoulders desperately.

“Aaron. Just don’t—”

“I won’t. I’m here. Right here.” He held me perfectly, keeping a perfect pace.

If I were human, it might have broken bones, but it was perfect. The perfect pressure. The perfect everything.

“Kim,” he choked out.

We let go together. I tightened around him, and all that pressure released. Waves of pleasure rocked through my lower body, and we rode every shiver of ecstasy until we were spent.

I didn’t know it could be that good. I was full of warmth and happiness.

Suddenly, I was aware of how tired I was. I was sore everywhere, but content. Happier than I’d been in weeks.

He moved the hair from my face while his hips stayed firmly pressed into me. There were no words at first, just kissing and the watchfulness of his gaze.

Our world had changed. Something between us had shifted. It had been different every time he’d touched me, and now . . .

“Hey, Burns.”

“Hey,” I said, settling into the bed. All I’d forgotten came back. The crackling of the fire, the chill of the wind pressing in from outside, and the cedar smell of our room came rolling into the back of my mind.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re literally the perfect girl? Smart, gorgeous . . . you’re everything.”

“You’re the only one who’s ever told me that.”

“They’re missing out.”