This Blood that Bonds Us (This Blood that Binds Us #4)

18. Eighteen

Eighteen

Aaron

I lay awake all night staring up at the ceiling. Kimberly was more than enough to look at, but the stars in our skylight helped keep me from boredom. I’d warmed some water, helped her clean up, and held her while she dozed off.

I hoped she dreamed of something good. A place far away that was warm and sunny. If only I could have slept too. Anything to get a break from being in my head. With one arm, I squeezed her to my chest. A soft sound left her lips, and she gripped me tighter.

I’d bitten her. Not only did I bite her. I kept biting her. It made me a little nauseous to know I’d taken enough blood from her that she needed to sleep, but the gnawing in my stomach was gone. My body was satiated in every sense of the word. It was nice to have a clear head again.

The need to protect her was stronger than ever. It was the best night of my life, and as I kissed the top of Kimberly’s head, I thought of my brothers again. Of every night they too were stuck in bed looking up at the ceiling and not able to sleep.

When Zach slept next to Ashley after he was changed, did he ever watch her sleep and wonder how he would ever tell her? Was he scared when he realized what was happening to him?

When they heard the news about Sarah’s disappearance, did they talk all night before they went searching themselves?

And when they got their memories back about Sarah’s death, how did they cope together? Did they get time to grieve?

All those secrets got taken with them.

I’d never thought about any of those things before. I was ashamed to admit it, but I thought they’d had it handled. It was their problem, and they’d dragged me into it, so it was up to them to solve it, but these problems weren’t theirs. They had always been ours. Or they should have been.

I placed a hand on my chest right over my heart where that familiar weight ached. I’d grown to like the agony of it, because it was like I was shouldering the weight of their pain from however many miles away.

I’d finally taken up my guard post, and I was on the night shift feeling their pain. Hopefully, they felt a little less because of it. I had a lot of time to make up for, but I’d make up for it by being the one to bring them home. As I searched the skies above, I focused on nothing but the thought of fulfilling that promise.

“Hi,” Kimberly murmured.

“Hi.” I ran my hands through her hair, replaying touching her and tasting her in the way I’d been craving for much longer than I was willing to admit. I was still in awe of it. Kimberly Burns, the girl who’d done everything alone, had given me a part of herself she’d never given to anyone else.

“Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know.” My thoughts weren’t spinning anymore, so I didn’t have as much trouble being honest.

She waited for me to elaborate, and I touched her neck where I’d bitten her. “I just . . . didn’t really want that to be how our first time would go.”

Her features remained unchanged as she fought to open her heavy eyelids. “How did you imagine it?”

“Less biting—actually, scratch that. No biting. Maybe more romance. Candles. Rose petals. The whole nine yards. Not me going animalistic and trying to eat you would have been preferred.”

In our brief window of being together as a human and a vampire, I’d thought about it a few times. Everything I’d wanted to put in place to make it perfect, and I’d wondered how long until I’d have enough self-control not to hurt her during. That felt like a lifetime ago, and I was a different person. I liked this version of me better. I was less of a dumbass and a better brother.

She smiled. “I didn’t mind the biting.”

“I know. I just feel like I made this about the monster thing, and that’s not what I wanted. I wanted to give you something normal.”

“I don’t need normal. I never have.”

I touched her soft lips, okay with that answer. I could never give normal. “This is enough?”

She ran her fingers through my fringe. “This is everything.”

“Do you feel okay?”

“I feel very relaxed. But sore.” She traced circles on my chest. “It’s okay, Aaron.”

I squeezed her hand. “I know.”

We got up at first light, which was around 10:00 a.m. That would take some getting used to.

The minute I opened the door to the main cabin, I came face-to-face with my little brother.

“Whoa,” I said, taking in the sight of his darkened hair. It was now dark-chocolate brown, and the remnants of hair dye had stained his ears and neck.

Kim’s eyes widened. “You dyed your hair.”

“Yeah, I didn’t want you to be the only one. Plus, I needed a change.”

Kimberly buried him in a hug and smiled in pure delight. “I love it.”

“So, guess you guys made up, huh?” Presley asked as we funneled toward the dinner table where Mom sat reading. The fresh scent of coffee permeated the air.

“Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” Presley said. Then he mouthed behind Mom’s back, I could hear you.

Shit. I explicitly told Kimberly not to be quiet, but god, I loved hearing her say my name over and over.

“Good thing I had headphones.”

“What, honey?” Mom said, lifting her head to greet me.

“Nothing,” we said together.

“Will you boys help Margret, my neighbor, put up her Christmas lights later today?”

“Mom, we spent all week doing that.” Presley groaned. “And we can’t even eat the cookies she tries to pay us in.”

For the last two weeks, we’d settled into Mom’s world. She finally had a reason to use her paid vacation days. We’d met her friends and gone to the weekly town meetings. Most nights, we’d been roped into helping Mom’s friends cut wood and put up their Christmas decorations. I knew why it bothered Presley, because it was the same reason it bothered me. We weren’t celebrating Christmas this year, and even being around the sounds and sights of the holiday hurt. Physically and mentally.

“I know, but she’s elderly and she loves them. I can come by after work and help.” She rubbed his hand, and his shoulders dropped from his ears.

“Fine, but don’t ask me to do anything more than that. You guys can celebrate the holiday if you want. But leave me out of it.”

Christmas was the biggest celebration of the year in the Calem house, and it was never about money or buying gifts. It was about tradition and food. We’d never spent Christmas apart.

A sputtering vibration on the wood of the kitchen table stopped my thoughts.

“Oh, I have to take this. Hold on,” Mom said.

“We don’t have to celebrate,” Kimberly said to my brother. “Maybe we could do something you like on the actual day. That’s what I used to do if I wanted to forget about the holiday completely. I’d lock myself in my room, shut the blinds, and watch the same movie over and over again. That way I didn’t have to deal with any of it.”

I pulled her closer at her admission and kissed the top of her head. I didn’t think she realized how sad it sounded. Though it was an experience many people dealt with and could probably relate to, I hated thinking of her alone in her room with no one to call.

My brother seemed to have the same sentiment, as his aggressive tone shifted. “I don’t know what I’d want to do though. I hate being in my room.”

“Maybe we could go visit the dogs at the shelter? I still haven’t been.”

That was the only thing Presley liked to talk about, and he’d only been twice. He said it was the only exciting thing in town, and he wasn’t exaggerating. There wasn’t much to look at or do here other than brave the elements and follow Mom to her community and church meetings and eat. Which was a huge bummer when you couldn’t, because the potlucks smelled amazing.

Presley’s smile returned at her idea.

Mom set the phone down on the counter and sucked in a breath.

“There’s someone at the hospital looking for information on three young adults claiming to be bitten. They obviously weren’t allowed to give out any medical information, but I told her to call me if anyone came looking for you all.”

“It’s them!” Everything in me leaped with joy. Weird, confusing joy that we’d finally been found.

“Did they say what they looked like?” Kimberly asked.

“Just that he’s quite tall. An older man, very adamant, but wouldn’t give a name.”

“That’s him, alright,” Presley grumbled, and popped down in a chair.

“Can we take the car?” I said, searching for the keys on the kitchen counter.

“Wait a minute. Shouldn’t we talk about it?”

“Mom, this is what we’ve been waiting for. I don’t want to risk him leaving.”

“Will you be careful?” The fear in her voice stopped my search.

“Yes, I promise. This is a good thing.”

It was a worrying step in what was likely a good direction. It was better than nothing.

I turned to my brother. “You’re sure you don’t want to come?”

“No way. Send me a postcard from your jail cell though. If you want me to be able to find you, be sure to leave me some clues, and they better be really good if you want me to find you.”

His confidence in me was slightly insulting but warranted. I’d never given him a reason to believe I was capable of taking the lead, but this was my chance to start, and I was ready for the challenge.