Chapter 40
CHAPTER 40
CASSIDY
I swung the ax one last time. The connection jolted my arms before the log split with a sharp crack. The halves fell to the side with a satisfying sound. Exhaling, I let the ax fall to my side and took a couple of deep breaths.
I wasn’t done yet. I picked up another round and set it up on the chopping stump, which was almost as old as the ranch. I took another swing, hitting the wood in the center and cracking it. With one last heavy whack, the wood split in two. I looked around at the growing pile.
It was a chore I had been responsible for doing since I was strong enough to swing the ax. Don had me start chopping kindling with a hatchet when I was barely ten. I used to watch the older guys and think they were the strongest men on the planet. In my young boy eyes, I thought the job was the sign of manhood. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. It was physically demanding, but I liked it. I liked the satisfying thud of the ax hitting the wood. Who needed therapy when a guy could chop wood?
I tossed the pieces into the wheelbarrow and stacked the rest under the overhang of the woodshed. I had gotten a little carried away with the chopping. But at least I wouldn’t have to worry about it for a few days. That was a good thing considering I was still going to be pulling double duty with Ginny down and Karen choosing not to help out. Rationally, I understood the chores weren’t her responsibility, but it still felt like she had abandoned us when we needed her most.
The cool air stung as sweat dried against my skin. I had started off wearing my coat, a henley, and a T-shirt underneath, but as usual, it got hot in a hurry. I stepped back to admire my handiwork as my heartrate slowed and my body began to cool. I wasn’t trying to get sick. I reached for my shirts, pulled them over my head, and rolled my shoulders before slipping into my jacket.
That was when I noticed Karen making her way down the path from the driveway. Her coat was wrapped tight around her and her cheeks were flushed from the cold. Seeing her come down that hill, with the twilight settling over the ranch, I felt that familiar pull. It was like she was the first sign of spring. It made my heart skip a beat.
She stepped closer, giving me a small smile. “Hey.”
“Hey, yourself.” I tugged my jacket tighter around me, trying to act casual as if I hadn’t been waiting for her all day.
“All done?” she asked.
I nodded. “Yep. I’ll send one of the guys down to bring up the wood. I was just going to get something to drink.”
“Mind if I walk up with you?”
“Not at all.” I fell in step beside her as we started back toward the lodge. There was a silence that stretched between us, a peaceful kind of quiet, but I couldn’t help myself from filling it. There was still a touch of tension between us. At least on my side. It could all just be me. “You have a good time today?” I asked her.
She smiled. “We did. Wind Ridge didn’t know what hit it. Rylee’s probably tried on every cowboy hat in town, and Mary Ellen absolutely fell in love with the bookstore. She and the owner hit it off like they had known each other for all their lives. Rylee had a good time practicing her swagger.”
“That one terrifies me,” I said with a laugh. “She’s a little scary.”
Karen laughed softly, glancing at me. “She is. But it was good to just be normal. You know?”
I nodded. “I get that.” I did but didn’t. It suggested she hadn’t felt normal around us. Around me. Once again, it hurt a little to think we weren’t her cup of tea. It wasn’t a surprise, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.
“You missed out on a big meeting, though,” I said.
“Yeah? Did you guys get a lot done?”
“We’ve got some news that’ll knock your socks off. One of the local ladies offered to lend us her old wedding décor for the night. You should see it. It’s awesome. She’s got all kinds of lights and candles. Real classy stuff.”
Karen’s eyes widened. “Are you serious? That’s perfect!” She grinned up at me, the excitement in her expression making it clear that, despite everything, she still cared about this place. “I’m sorry I missed it. I needed time with my friends, but I thought about you. I missed you.”
I wanted to believe that, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t like I had gone anywhere. I’d been right here, and she’d been going out of her way to avoid me. I didn’t know how she could miss me. I wasn’t the one hiding. “So, you’re planning on leaving the ranch?”
She stopped walking and moved to stand in front of me. “What?”
I rubbed the back of my neck, debating how to put it. “There’s a rumor going around. Someone overheard you talking with Don yesterday morning, and…” I hesitated, not wanting to lay everything on her at once. “And, well, when I came in, Don looked like he’d been crying. I assumed he was bummed because you’re leaving.”
She sighed and shook her head. “Cassidy, I’m not leaving,” she said. “At least, not sooner than I already planned.” She looked down, kicking at a stray pebble. “It’s just, well, everything feels so up in the air right now. I’m not really sure what I’m doing.”
I felt a wave of relief. It wasn’t exactly her saying she was staying for good, but at least she wasn’t running just yet. “I thought you were leaving with no plans to tell me.”
She smiled and shook her head. “I wouldn’t do that.”
“It’s not like you owe me anything. But if you do want to leave, I get it. Just let me know?”
She nodded. “I’m sticking around for a while longer. I do need to fly back to Dallas next week, though, just for two days. My friend Mary Ellen’s bridal shower is coming up. I didn’t know they were coming yesterday. It was a total surprise, especially since I’m going home next week.”
We started walking again, the quiet between us a little heavier now. After a few steps, I stopped and touched her elbow lightly. I could tell there was still something going on. I thought she would tell me, but clearly that wasn’t happening. I wasn’t really part of her inner circle. “Hey, Karen, whatever’s going on, I’m here. If you need anything or if you want to talk or just get away from it all—you got me. And you’ve got this place, too. You can talk to me. If you’re homesick or lonely or whatever, I’m here.”
For a second, I thought she was going to tell me everything right then. Her lips parted like she was just about to let something spill. But then she seemed to pull back, holding it in. I could see her eyes filling with tears. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to get all heavy on you?—”
But before I could finish, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me. She held on to me, like I was anchoring her to the world. For a second, all I could do was stand there, holding her close and letting the moment sink in. I did my best to infuse all my strength into her. She squeezed me like she was afraid I was going to run off.
“Thank you,” she whispered. Her voice was thick, heavy with something she wasn’t saying. I could feel a secret resting in the space between us. I wanted to ask her what it was, but if she wanted me to know, she would have told me. I had to be satisfied with this much. When she was ready, she would tell me what had her so freaked out.
After a long moment, she pulled back, brushing a stray tear from her cheek before smiling up at me.
“You okay?” I asked.
She offered a small smile. “Yes. I will be.”
“Come on, it’s freezing out here,” I said. “I could use something warm to drink.”
We walked into the lodge. The dining hall was littered with guests. The smell of something good wafted through the air. I had worked up quite an appetite with all the hard labor.
I helped Karen out of her coat and hung it up on the hook. Her friends were already helping themselves to the elaborate setup Bodie had put out. I assumed this was the part where she walked away from me again and the moment we shared would be over.
“Want to join me and the girls for dinner?” she asked quietly.
I hesitated, unsure about the idea. I didn’t want her to pity me or feel like she owed me something because we shared a moment outside.
But I didn’t want to miss my chance to spend time with her, either. Deep down, I felt she still had one foot out the door. She wasn’t going to be sticking around for long.
I nodded. “Sure. If they can handle my company.”
She grinned, leading the way. Her friends were seated at one of the long tables. Kenny and Ginny had joined them as well. Karen and I made our way to the buffet line. She seemed hesitant.
“It’s grilled chicken,” I said. “I thought you liked chicken.”
“Oh, I do. Uh, we just had a late lunch.”
I watched as she took the smallest piece of chicken and tiny scoops of the sliced potatoes, candied carrots, and rice. My lunch had been early. I was not shy about filling my plate. We carried our food back to the table and I sat down next to Karen.
“Is it true you’ve been in charge of the firewood supply?” Rylee asked. The way she asked made me feel like it was a loaded question or maybe I was picking up on some innuendo.
“Only when I’m avoiding work I don’t want to do. Firewood is my escape.”
“Oh, he’s humble,” Lauren teased. “Karen told us you’re practically single-handedly keeping this place warm.”
Karen smiled at me. It was the kind of smile that felt like a warm hug. “He’ll never admit it, but he’s the ranch’s biggest workhorse. All those times I’ve seen him up at dawn and still going after dark.”
“Shoot, he’s just doing that to show off,” Kenny said. “He doesn’t work harder than anyone else.”
“Don’t be jealous,” Ginny said and patted Kenny’s arm. “You’re a hard worker, too.” It was said like she was talking to a five-year-old.
The table laughed as he rolled his eyes and stuffed his mouth with another bite.
“Did Cassidy tell you about the wedding décor?” Ginny asked Karen.
“He said someone was letting us use it,” Karen answered.
“It’s a real game-changer,” Ginny said, her excitement evident. “I got to see some of it. Like a million twinkling lights, little lanterns, and lots of burlap rolls that will go great with our décor. Kenny even found a dance floor we can borrow from the hardware store.”
“Between the flowers you’re planning to get and all that froufrou crap, this might end up being the best dance Wind Ridge has ever seen,” Kenny said.
Karen’s face lit up. “I just want to make it special for everyone. This place deserves that.”
“Look at you two,” Lauren said. “Just a couple of small-town heroes saving the ranch.”
“It’s inspiring,” Mary Ellen said.
As we ate, I got to know her friends a little better. They were all so different. It was like seeing Karen in a whole new light. She was the same but different. They all balanced each other out. Rylee was the bold one. Lauren had a dry humor and Mary Ellen was all kind and sweetness. Jenny had a very mothering way about her. I imagined she played referee a lot. Karen kept looking over at me, like she was checking to see if I was okay.
“I’m going to get dessert,” I said. “Can I get anyone anything?”
“Bring me a brownie,” Ginny said.
“I’ll get my own,” Kenny said.
The women all shook their heads.
I got up and helped myself to an assortment of goodies, then returned to the table with two plates stacked high. They all looked at me like I was crazy.
“What?” I shrugged. “I’m doing quality control.”
“Maybe I’ll take up chopping wood,” Rylee said. “If it means I can eat like that and still look like he does, it must work.”
I grinned, sat, and casually pushed my plate toward Karen. She tentatively reached for one of the cookies. “Thank you.”
Ginny snatched the brownie I brought back for her and took a big bite. “So good.”
For the first time in days, it felt normal. Karen was back to her old self. I convinced myself it had all been in my head. She was fine. She had been homesick. Nothing more.