This Hick?

Chapter 41

CHAPTER 41

KAREN

I slowly chewed the gooey chocolate chip cookie. It was delicious, of course. Bodie was an amazing chef, baker, and all the other things. It was wild to think he was here cooking at an old lodge when he could probably have his own restaurant in Vegas making millions of dollars.

Maybe he preferred the laidback atmosphere.

I looked at the faces around the table. It was the best of both worlds. I had my family from Dallas sitting at a table with the little family I adopted at the ranch. Kenny was leaning back in his chair, trying to balance a spoon on his nose while Ginny got annoyed. She wasn’t truly annoyed, but it was fun to watch them snipe at each other. Ginny was just one of the guys, but they also treated her like a princess.

“You’re making a damn fool of yourself,” Ginny said. “You need to stop the drunken shenanigans before I jam that spoon up your nose.”

Cassidy chuckled beside me. “I’d pay to see that.”

I felt like this was what I’d been missing. A real family. It was a motley bunch, but they were all important to me. I felt like I was finally complete.

I closed my eyes, wanting to remember this moment. The sounds of my friends laughing, the smell of chocolate and the heat from the fire behind us. All the little details wove together into something that felt nothing short of magical. Eyes open again, my gaze drifted to Cassidy.

What might life be like if he and I were more? A real couple. If he did decide to be there with me, to raise this child together, right here on the ranch. A home where our child could run wild. He, or she, would have the world’s best playground with endless acres of open fields to explore. I wanted a feral kid that spent their days outside and came in covered in mud with a pocket full of treasures found on their explorations.

There would be discipline as well. Cassidy would be good at that. It would be the kind of discipline that comes with responsibility, hard work, and the pure joy of being part of something bigger than yourself. Our kid would be surrounded by good people. People like Ginny, with her no-nonsense advice and Kenny, who would no doubt teach them the art of making people laugh and complete freedom. My friends would come to visit, embracing the role of “aunties” with enthusiasm, spoiling the kid with all the love and silliness in the world.

It was all so vivid, like a life I had once lived and was now just remembering. My heart warmed at the thought, but a twinge of doubt quickly pulled me back to the present. Cassidy didn’t know about the baby, and when he did find out, I had a feeling it was going to be less dreamy for him.

He would be forced to face one of his biggest fears. Could he get past it or would he run?

Kenny got up from the table, sliding his chair across the floor with a loud screech. “I’m going to bed. You all have a nice evening.”

“Help me up,” Ginny said. “You’re helping me to the bunkhouse. I don’t want these stupid crutches slipping in the mud.”

“You’re just faking it now. Gimme those things,” Kenny said and tried to take a crutch.

Ginny balanced on one foot and smacked him in the ass with the other one. “Try that again, and you’ll have to carry me back to the bunkhouse,” she said, poking him in the leg with the crutch to emphasize her point.

“Ow,” Kenny complained. “You’re a mean one.”

“And you’re an idiot.”

He rubbed his leg, pretending it hurt. “Well, now we both need crutches. Cassidy, carry us.”

Cassidy smiled and waved him off. “Go find a horse if you want a ride.”

“Let’s go,” Ginny said. “I want to crawl into bed. I have to be up early to work on those place cards. My calligraphy is getting awesome. Maybe I’ll sell my services.”

“I can’t wait to see it,” I said. “Show me tomorrow?”

Ginny smiled and nodded. “Of course.”

Lauren and Jenny stood too.

“I’m ready for a warm fire and a cozy blanket,” Lauren said.

“And I want to crack open one of those books,” Mary Ellen said. “The question is, where to start?”

“I’m just going to talk dirty to my man.” Rylee grinned as she got to her feet. “I want his engine revving by the time I get home.”

They looked at me, waiting for me to get to my feet. I wasn’t ready to go up just yet. The part of me that had missed them wanted to jump at the chance to go up and keep the laughter going. But then I glanced over at Cassidy, who was adding logs to the fire like he did every night before he went to bed. I felt an undeniable pull—a need to stay just a little longer. I wanted to be in his orbit. I just missed him, plain and simple.

“Go on up,” I told them. “I’ll be right behind you.”

Rylee exchanged a knowing glance with Lauren, who smirked but didn’t push.

“Go help him heat things up in here,” Rylee said, casting a final, exaggerated wink before they all headed upstairs.

When it was just Cassidy and me, a comfortable silence settled over us. He lingered by the fire, watching it burn. “Long day, huh?” he said. “Your friends look like they had a good time.”

“Yeah,” I said, stepping closer to him, feeling the warmth from the flames and from him. “There’s more to Wind Ridge than I expected. I guess I hadn’t explored much before.” I took a breath, feeling a strange flutter in my chest. “I missed you though. It would have been nice to have you showing us around.”

He tilted his head, giving me a soft look. “I missed you too, Karen. I’ve missed you the last few days, actually. Are you sure you’re not mad at me? Did I do something?”

“No. I promise, you didn’t do anything. It’s me.”

“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” he asked softly.

I should, but dammit, I couldn’t. This wasn’t the right moment. It was the first time in days we were together, alone and connecting again. The last thing I wanted was to drive another wedge between us.

The logs crackled in the fire. One popped, sending sparks up the chimney. I glanced at Cassidy, his face softened by the orange glow. There was something deep and real that seemed to reach right inside me and ease every worry whenever he looked at me like that.

He promised safety and security, unless I scared him off.

Right then, I longed for his touch. Before I knew it, I was stepping forward, drawn to him as if by some unseen force. Our eyes met for a brief second before he leaned down and kissed me. It stole the breath right from my lungs. There was a surge of emotion so powerful that it washed away all the doubts.

When we finally parted, Cassidy’s eyes searched mine. “Whatever it is, Karen, you can tell me. I need you to know that.”

His hands found their way to my waist, pulling me closer. I wrapped my arms around his neck and went up on my toes for another kiss. The connection was something I had missed desperately. We hadn’t known each other long, but in that time, he had taken hold of me. My heart needed him like my lungs needed air.

I wanted to believe I could trust him. But I pulled back, a sinking feeling in my gut. When he found out, there was a very good chance he would run. Or want me to run away from him.

“I should go,” I whispered.

He held me a moment longer, his thumb grazing my cheek. “Goodnight, gorgeous.”

I managed a nod before stepping back, tearing myself away before I changed my mind. He turned and headed out with a heavy heart. I made my way upstairs to join my friends. It was a good thing they were waiting for me because I almost ran after Cassidy and begged him to come back to my room.

As soon as I walked in, Rylee gave me a look. “Well, well, well,” she said, folding her arms and raising an eyebrow. “That was fast. Jackrabbit fast.”

I pressed my fingers to my lips, smiling despite myself. “We just kissed and it was perfect. More than I expected.”

“Oh my god, you’ve got it bad, Karen,” Lauren said. “Look at you. You’re completely crazy about him.”

“You can’t keep kissing this guy until you tell him the truth,” Rylee said. “You’re going to end up in bed with him. It’s going to be worse the longer you hold back. If you guys keep kissing and you don’t tell him and then he finds out, he’s not going to be happy.”

I felt my stomach tighten, the guilt ruining the warm and fuzzy feeling. “Rylee, no?—”

“No,” she interrupted. “You’re only making this harder on yourself. You’re holding on to this big secret, and the longer you go on like this, the bigger he’s going to think it is when you finally tell him. So, cut it out. No more kissing, no more rodeo riding, and no more jangling his spurs, if you know what I mean.”

“I don’t,” Karen said, looking around at the other girls, who appeared equally confused.

Rylee rolled her eyes. “I’m saying, no more grazing in that field. Not until he knows everything. You owe him that. And yourself. You’re walking in two different realities and it won’t end well if he feels like you’ve been lying to him.”

Lauren nodded, her expression more gentle but equally serious. “She’s right, Karen. You can’t build a real relationship on half-truths. If you want something real, something long term, you have to do things the right way.”

I sighed and flopped onto the couch. They were right. Cassidy deserved to know. I couldn’t keep holding on to this fantasy without being honest with him. I was only setting myself up for heartbreak. He would suffer as well.

“Okay,” I said finally. “You’re right. I’ll tell him soon. I keep waiting for the right time.”

“The right time is always sooner than you think,” Jenny said.

Rylee nodded. “Just promise you’ll do it. No more hiding. Rip the band-aid off and get it over with. We’re here. We can act as buffers. If he’s a dick, I’ll knock him out.”

Her attempt at humor made me smile, but it didn’t quite reach my heart. How could it when we were talking about my entire future? The future of my child.

“For what it’s worth, I like him,” Mary Ellen said, looking up from her book. “I don’t think he’s going to cut and run. He seems like a solid dude.”

“Thanks, Mary Ellen. That means a lot.”

“He’s definitely easy on the eyes,” Lauren said. “You hit the gene pool jackpot there.”

I laughed. “Thanks. Because that matters.”

“It doesn’t hurt,” Rylee said.

“He is hot.” I grinned. “Which is why it’s so hard to stay away from him. You guys have to know what I’m talking about. It’s like an invisible tether that pulls me to him. I can’t break it. I don’t want to break it.”

“Oh, we all totally get it,” Lauren said. “He’s your guy. Now, you need to tell him.”

“And if he decides I’m not his girl?”

“That risk comes with every relationship,” Lauren said. “You’ll never know until you try.”