Chapter 60
CHAPTER 60
CASSIDY
W e’d taken care of boarding up the lodge early the next morning until we figured out what to do about the mess and where the money was coming from to fix it all thanks to Earl. Since then things had been good. Hell, better than good. They were better than I could remember, maybe ever. The kind of good you didn’t realize you were missing until it showed up out of nowhere and knocked the wind right out of you. Better than I could have ever hoped to have in my life. I was not the kind of man that was supposed to get to be this happy. I was a poor orphan with no education and no future. No money and no prospects.
How did I get here?
Karen .
Karen and I had settled into something that felt right. We were trying to figure out how to make a space for ourselves on the ranch, something a little more permanent than her room in the lodge or my bunkhouse. Privacy was a commodity in short supply. Every night, we were together, but it was always under someone else’s roof. And now, with the baby coming? I wanted to give her more than someone else’s lodge or some dusty corner of the bunkhouse. I wanted something that was ours.
Our baby deserved that. I had been doing some online browsing. I was a little freaked out about the sheer amount of stuff a baby needed. Her room at the lodge was not going to fit it all. We would be sleeping on top of each other. Not to mention, I was well aware babies cried. Sometimes, they cried all night. That wasn’t going to be great for business. People came to the lodge to get away from their lives. They were not going to appreciate hearing a baby crying at two in the morning.
The idea of a real place with her, maybe with a little nursery, kept me up at night. It was the dominating thought that was with me all day and all night. No matter what I was doing, I was thinking about my future with her and how I was going to do my best for my little family to be. I had to. I wanted to give my baby everything I never had growing up. Most importantly—love. I wanted my baby to be safe and comfortable.
I wasn’t about to tell Karen what was keeping me up at night. At least not until I had a plan. I didn’t want her to stress about it. Although I had a feeling she was having many of the same thoughts. With me crashing in her room most nights, it was already feeling cramped with a few of my clothes and boots in the place.
I carried the bucket of gravel to the back of the Gator and tossed in a shovel. Kenny and I were fixing potholes in the long gravel driveway that stretched out in front of the ranch. Spring was in the air. This was one of the rituals. We patched together the driveway. It would last about six months and then we would do it again.
“I’ll get the wheelbarrow,” I said.
He hopped in the Gator and drove down the driveway while I picked up the wheelbarrow and followed behind him. We got right to work.
“Can you believe you’re about to be a dad, Cassidy?” Kenny said.
“Don’t remind me.” I chuckled, wiping a bead of sweat off my forehead. “Half the time, I’m freaking out about it. Wish I had someone who knew what they were talking about to set me straight.”
“What, I’m not good enough?” Kenny shot me a look of mock offense, clutching his chest. “A friend who’s been by your side through thick and thin? Who held you up that time you got way too drunk at Bud’s Bar?”
“If my baby is struggling in a bar, I’ll call you,” I said. “But I’m thinking I might need someone that has actually held a baby. A dude that has changed a diaper.”
He tossed a shovel full of gravel into the hole. “I guess you’re screwed if you’re looking for tips from me,” he said. “I don’t know if I’ve ever been around a baby.”
“That’s probably a good thing,” I teased.
“But honestly, if anyone’s got it in them to handle a kid, it’s you. Hell, you’re practically a dad to half the critters on this ranch already. And Karen won’t let you fail. You guys will be fine.”
“A kid is a lot different than a horse,” I said, shoveling more gravel into the wheelbarrow. “I keep thinking of all the ways I could mess it up. Like, what if I can’t do it?”
“Don’t start that. Besides, if someone had told us a few months ago we’d be here, talking about you being a dad, and me and Ginny finally figuring out our own thing, we’d have said they were crazy.”
I snorted. “Yeah, and now you’re wrapped around her little finger. It’s about time that happened. You two have been dancing around each other forever. I tried to tell her to stay away from you, but apparently she didn’t listen to me.”
Kenny laughed. “Good thing. She’s a handful. Mean to me in all the best ways. Calls me out, makes me chase her around just to keep up. Then, out of nowhere, she’ll turn around and be sweet as pie. I swear, some days she’s like two people. And I love it.”
I shook my head, groaning. “Stop. I don’t need to hear any of that about Ginny. She’s like a sister to me.”
“You brought it up,” he said.
We went back to work, throwing gravel into the potholes until the road finally started to look halfway decent again. Kenny tamped down the gravel while I added a little more to the top. It was a beautiful spring day. Not hot, but with the manual labor, we were both sweating. I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand and stared down the driveway.
“One more,” I said.
“Let’s knock this one out,” Kenny said. “I’m fucking thirsty.” He rolled up his sleeves even further, working on the farmer’s tan that we always wore all summer long.
We filled the last hole, stomped on the gravel for good measure, and then started back up the drive in the Gator. I heard a familiar sound.
Rouge .
“Let me out here,” I said.
Rouge was pacing along the fence, her mane blowing in the breeze, looking as lively as she’d ever been. Lately, she’d been slowing down. She spent more time resting than roaming, which was expected. But today, she looked almost young, practically prancing behind the fence.
“Look at her,” Kenny said with a grin. “She’s got a spark to her today. More life than I’ve seen in her for a while.”
“I know,” I said, unable to stop the grin.
Rouge hadn’t had this much energy in months. I walked toward the fence. When she saw me, her ears perked up. She tossed her head, letting out a little snort, and pawed at the ground. It was almost like she wanted me to ride her, which was something she hadn’t asked for in a long time.
“You really think you’re up for it, girl?” I asked, leaning against the fence, watching her sidestep and prance like she was showing off.
She gave another huff and then turned, showing me her back as if to say, Hop on already.
“What’s she doing?” Kenny asked.
“I think she wants me to take her for a ride.”
“Are you crazy? She hasn’t carried anyone in ages. She’s old. Retired.”
“Nah, she’s old in years but she’s young at heart.”
“Her body is old,” he said.
“What are you doing, Rouge?” I asked, my eyes locked on her.
She walked to the fence, her eyes bright with that spunky spirit I fell in love with so many years ago. I reached out and rubbed my hand down her nose. “What’s going on, girl? Are you up for a ride?”
“Cassidy, you can’t,” Kenny said.
But I knew my horse. It was like we shared the same soul sometimes. I could feel her energy and I was picking up on her need to run. We used to spend a lot of time together just riding through the fields.
I ignored Kenny’s protests and climbed over the four-rail fence. I hopped down and walked up to Rouge.
“Are you sure about this?” I asked her again.
She jerked her head, nudging my shoulder as if to tell me to quit stalling and just do it. I ran my hand down her back, checking to see if she flinched at all. My hand moved down her flank. I could feel the strong muscles quiver beneath her sleek coat. She was trembling with pent-up energy, ready to spend it all on a wild run like we used to when we were both younger. I wasn’t feeling any heat or swelling.
She was ready.
“Alright, then. Let’s do this.”
Kenny was still watching us from the other side of the fence. “Cassidy! Seriously?” he exclaimed, his concern apparent, though he didn’t make an effort to stop me.
I put my hand on her back and swung my leg over, settling onto her without a saddle, just like I used to when I was younger. I didn’t have any doubts, even if Kenny was yelling something about “idiots like me” and “hospitals.”
I ran my hand down her neck. “How’s it feel, girl?”
She gave a snort. I felt her muscles tense and braced myself. She took off with a sudden burst of energy, her hooves pounding against the ground, dust kicking up as she made laps around the field. I could feel the power in her stride. It was like she’d gone back in time, reminding me of the days we spent galloping across the ranch without a care in the world. For a moment, it was just me and her—no stress, no worries, just pure, untamed freedom.
I missed those moments.
When we reached the gate, I leaned forward, reaching down to unlatch it. It swung open and she surged forward toward the open field. I held on, gripping her with my legs as she raced across the grass. The wind rushed past, nearly blowing my hat off. I couldn’t stop myself from grinning. I felt the smile to my very core.
“Cassidy, you are out of your mind! That horse is probably one jump away from knocking you flat!” Kenny shouted.
But Rouge just kept going, her pace steady and strong as we looped around the field. It felt like a gift. Like she was giving me this one last ride, a memory to carry with me forever. For a few precious moments, the world felt simple again. All that mattered was the rhythm of her hooves and the open sky above us. This made life worth living.
When we finally slowed, I leaned down, patting her neck. “Good girl,” I murmured. “You’re still the best horse there ever was, aren’t you?”
Rouge tossed her head, snorting softly, as if agreeing with me. I could feel her joy. She was loving this.
So was I.