This Is Love (Evermore University #2)

13. Logan

13

LOGAN

I run my hand over my jaw, sitting in the Evermore Memorial waiting room for a second time in mere hours. Not exactly where I want to be right now, but I’d feel like a shithead if I walked out. Jaxon had been so fucking angry when he got out of the car. So, there’s that, but also some of what I’d overheard when I came in. Namely, the fact that his mother, Macie, doesn’t have health insurance. And Jaxon had been talking to them about a payment plan.

It would make sense that she would no longer be on Eric’s insurance policy once the divorce was final. I guess she hasn’t ever gotten her own. I blow out a hard breath. But what sense does that make? She’s diabetic.

Unease settles over me. I have no idea what’s going on, because surely Macie got a huge settlement in the divorce. There’s a part of me that’d felt bad for even catching the conversation he was having with the lady at the registration desk, yet some of what I learned is surely another clue to the enigma that is Jaxon Ledger. My stepbrother’s behavior has been a puzzle to me that I wasn’t sure I’d ever figure out—and honestly hadn’t wanted to until now—but more and more is falling into place. And what I’m learning has me feeling strangely off kilter.

My brain clicks back to his sour comment as he hauled ass away from the car earlier. Why does he think my mom broke up their family? As far as I know, Eric and Macie were divorced by the time Mom met him. My stomach twists. But what if he wasn’t? The insinuation that my mother is a homewrecker is enough to make me ill.

It makes me want to help him somehow. Because it’s obvious he and his mom are struggling, and I hate to think that it has anything to do with our families merging… but I’m concerned that it does, and I simply have been out in left field with the sun in my eyes all this time, blinding me to what’s really going on. I feel… selfish.

But as much as offering help might seem like a good idea to the casual observer, I know Jaxon too well to think he’d accept anything from me. Hell, he isn’t going to want me sticking my nose in it at all. I told him when I got here that I’d be staying, but he’ll be pissed I haven’t left, no doubt in my mind.

The sound of fast-paced footsteps pries me free of my thoughts, and I glance up. Jaxon’s hurrying toward me, phone up to his ear and a concerned look on his face. “It’s Rya,” he whispers in a low voice. “I don’t know what’s happened, but she’s crying. Something about ballet shoes and a masked freak and the goddamn woods.” He gives his head a disbelieving shake.

My brows crash together. Nothing that just came out of his mouth makes any fucking sense and has my head jerking back. “What?” I gesture to his phone, alarm filling me. “Is she still on the line?”

He nods, his dark eyes holding an anguish that has everything to do with the girl caught up in the war between us.

Working my jaw to the side, I hold out my hand. “I can try to talk to her.” As I make the suggestion, it occurs to me that Rya has done something I never thought possible. She’s scared… and she called someone other than me. The idea of it tears my heart to shreds. Jaxon stares steadily at me, and I’m sure he’s wondering if it’s a good idea since she didn’t reach out to me instead. I allow my eyes to drift shut against the pain her choice has caused me.

“Rya. Listen to me, pretty girl. Logan’s here. He’s with me.” He pauses, and I hate not being aware of her response. “I’m—we’re—at the hospital… with my mom.” He stops again to listen. “No. Don’t worry about it. Logan wants to talk to you.” Wetting his lips, he listens intently. “It’s okay, we’re going to help you. No one is hanging up the phone until we figure out where you are. One second.” He hands the phone to me. “She’s fuckin’ terrified,” he grits out, the dread and uncertainty in his voice barreling into me.

Holding the phone up to my ear, I immediately hear Rya’s panicked breathing. It makes my already anxious heart ache. “Rya, it’s me.”

“Lo-Logan?” Her voice sounds like she’s on the verge of losing it, the strain evident.

“Yeah, it’s me. Where are you? Any idea?”

What comes next is a rush of words that hardly sound like English.

“Whoa,” I murmur. “Slow down. Deep breaths. I can’t understand you.”

Just then, a nurse appears, looking chagrined to have to interrupt. “Jaxon, sorry. Your mom is asking for you.”

His eyes crash shut, then he grips me by the shoulder. “Take the phone, take my car. You’ve already got the keys.”

I exhale hard, “Okay. I’m on it. I’ll try to get a hold of you if?—”

“Yeah. Do that.” Jaxon nods, then follows the nurse.

This is up to me now. “Okay, Rya. Stay on the phone with me. I’m heading out now.” A moment later, I’m out of the ER and heading for Jaxon’s car at a jog. “Did I hear right that you’re in the woods somewhere?”

“N-near my house. But not really cl-close. He stopped on a long stretch of road, but I had to run into the trees to get away.”

He, who? Jesus . “Any idea of a road you know you were on?” My mind screams, wanting to ask what the hell happened, who the fuck she was with, but with the temperatures already below freezing and falling fast, we can talk about all that later. I don’t want her out in this weather any longer than necessary. Her teeth click together as they chatter.

“I think we were on Route 11, maybe, but I-I don’t know. I had to wait for him to leave. My phone—I don’t know if I should try to open Maps to see where I am or if I’ll l-lose you. My phone screen is all cracked.”

I unlock Jaxon’s sedan and climb in, taking off only a few seconds later. “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out. And you said woods, right?”

“Y-yeah. What if he comes back?” The fear in her voice reaches into my chest and twists my heart. My jaw sets. I don’t know who the fuck he is, but she doesn’t need to be thinking about that right now.

“Hang tight. I’m going to head toward your parents’ house, and we’ll go from there.”

Ten minutes later, I’m tearing north, eyes scanning all along the tree line when I finally spot her. Rya must see me at the same time because my Tiny Dancer springs from the cover of the trees and darts toward the car as I slow and pull off the road. The poor thing isn’t dressed for the weather at all. She’s in her dance clothes, tights, and a sweatshirt with a leotard underneath, no doubt. Not even a coat. Her hands are pulled up inside her sleeves. I glance at the outdoor temperature on the dash right before I scramble to get out. Twenty-eight degrees Fahrenheit. Fucking cold as hell.

I leave the car idling and catch her in my arms as she slams into me. She’s trembling like a leaf. I’m struck by the overwhelming urge to put my hands on every square inch of her to make sure she’s whole, safe, and unharmed. I bury my face against the chilled skin of her neck as I fold her into my embrace, letting her burrow against me.

Only a moment later, she wrenches free, stumbling backward. She covers her face with both hands. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

My body reacts strongly to her misgivings, brows furrowing together as my stance goes rigid. “Rya,” I rasp, “don’t do this to us.” The ache in my chest spreads through my body as she lowers her hands, and I look into her eyes. There’s a clear sense of apprehension in her when it comes to trusting my words, and when the only thing to come from her is a wobble of her chin, I exhale hard, reaching for her. “You need to be in the car so you can warm up.”

Her lips press together, and in typical Rya fashion, she fights the tears I see in her glassy eyes. I don’t withdraw my hand, choosing instead to wait patiently. Each moment she doesn’t take it is another bruise that gets left on my very soul. Because this girl—she’s everything to me.

When her hand finally lands in mine, and she allows me to pull her close again, I don’t say anything at first, I simply hold her. Then, as a shiver quakes through her, I turn and pop the back door open and usher her inside. I follow, slamming the door shut behind us. I sigh when she folds her arms over her chest, but I’m determined to let her decide for herself what she needs—or wants—from me.

“Rya, I don’t know what the fuck happened, but the fact that I only have bits and pieces of information and finding you like this is driving me fucking crazy.”

She draws in one breath, then another before turning to face me. “When I got to the locker room before rehearsal, a whole row of lockers was emptied out.” Frowning, she shakes her head. “Everything was everywhere. My pointe shoes are all jacked up.”

I shut my eyes, clenching my teeth. This is bad.

She nods, knowing immediately that I get it. Throwing her hands up, she hurries on with the story. “I needed to get home to see if my old pair was going to be usable or if I’m just screwed.”

“Get to the part where I found you on the side of a road.”

“I used the campus ride message board—and this guy picked me up. He was giving me the creeps the whole way. Kept looking at me.” A rough chuckle that only tells me how upsetting whatever came next rips from her throat. “And I should have known that the reason he was wearing a ski mask had more to do with him being a weirdo than that his window wouldn’t roll up.” Her hands shake as she stares at me, wide-eyed. “Oh my god, I’m an idiot. The window wasn’t broken, was it?”

I grit my teeth. “Probably not. A convenient excuse for wearing a mask, sounds like. Tell me the rest of it.”

“Well, he obviously didn’t take me home, and he—” Her voice becomes a little hysterical, and she stops to swallow, shaking her head as if upset with herself.

“He what ?” Those two words come out with a bite that wasn’t intended for Rya, but it makes her flinch all the same. “Fuck. That wasn’t aimed at you. I need you to tell me what else he did.”

Finally, she leans into me, and I don’t hesitate, I wrap my arms around her, tugging her tightly against my side. With her like this, every erratic breath she takes, every tremble of her body—all of it makes it clear she’s more upset than she’s letting on.

“No. I know you aren’t mad at me. Um…” And as she tells me the worst of it, I know that if I ever find out who this motherfucker is, I’m going to kill him. Fucking insane to have two people I’d like to unalive within twenty-four hours, but there it is. They’d better hope I don’t discover their identities ? —

I cup the back of her head with my hand, gently stroking her hair. “I can’t believe you rammed your fist into his dick.”

While clenching her teeth, she cracks a half smile. “I did. And it worked. I ran for the trees and hid while the asshole crept along the edge of the wooded area, trying to spot me.” She draws in a distressed breath. “I thought for sure he was going to hear my teeth chattering or something. He waited around for a long time before he chucked my phone into the woods and left.”

“We’re going to have to report this,” I murmur softly. Now that she’s relaxed against me, I don’t want to upset her by giving voice to my internal freak-out. “But right now, we need to go get your ballet shoes so you have them for your audition.”

She peers up at me, relief washing over her features.

“Did you think I’d tell you to forget about your shot at the spring showcase? I know you, Rya,” I rasp. “Never forget that.”

The look she gives me is heart-wrenching but also, in a strange way, fills me with hope. Nodding, she whispers, “I haven’t forgotten. Not for a second.” As she gazes out the window, a tinge of fear still hides behind her eyes. I can’t blame her. What that guy did to her… I doubt it’s fully hit her yet. “Maybe we should get outta here.”

A few minutes later, we’re on our way to her house. She’s quiet. But this is definitely a Rya move, turning her thoughts and feelings inward for examination before she’s capable of speaking about them. I glance at her from the corner of my eye, knowing there’s more than one thing I need to clear up with her, but I’m fuckin’ nervous about all of it.

Her quiet voice startles me out of the jumble of worries rolling around inside my head. “Whatever you’re thinking, just say it.” She lets loose a long exhale. “After what happened at the party, you said we could talk about everything—about us—but then the doctor came in, and after that—” She pauses, biting down on her lip so hard she winces. “The whole thing with you and Jaxon happened. And now…” Scrubbing her hands over her face she shifts in the bucket seat, bending one leg and bringing it to her chest, almost as if she’s trying to protect herself.

“I hardly know where to start, but maybe we begin with why you called Jaxon today…” The remainder of my thought weighs heavily between us. Why you called Jaxon today… and not me ?

She gives me a sad smile. “It didn’t mean anything. You know, beyond him having a car he has easy access to.” As I take my focus from the road to look at her, she searches my face before continuing. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t have—didn’t have—” Her eyes slam shut, and she shakes her head, anguish etched into her features. “I’m so fucking stupid.”

My brows draw together, as it hits me what was about to come out of her mouth. “Rya, you aren’t. And the thought you didn’t finish was that you have feelings for him.”

Her nod is small, but it’s there. It’s immediately followed by a hitch in her breathing. One quick glance in her direction tells me everything. Those feelings are deeper than I thought.

“It’s okay, Rya.” It’s like tearing my heart out, but I murmur low as we pull up outside her house. “If he’s what you want, I’m not going to get in the way.”

She shoots me the strangest look, then gestures toward the house. “Um. Okay. Lemme go get those pointe shoes. I’ll be right back.”

Confusion swirls within me as I trail the girl who owns a big piece of my heart all the way to the front door of her family’s home. She bends down, locating the spare key, then lets herself in. What was with that expression on her face? It’d been part disbelief and maybe… part disappointment?

It doesn’t take long before she comes back out, a small bag in her hands. She locks up, then jogs toward me. Scanning downward, I notice the tears in her tights. Fuck. The moment she sits, I grit out. “If I had known you were hurt, I’d have offered to come in and clean you up.”

Grimacing, she shakes her head. “I don’t want to be here when my parents get home.” She hesitates, her eyes connecting with mine. “I can’t. I don’t want them to know.”

An exasperated breath heaves from me. “Seriously.”

“You know what my dad will say. He’ll bring me home. Feel like he has to protect me from the world.”

I work my jaw to the side. “Right.”

“Let’s go. Um.” Her brow darts together. “Do we need to pick up Jaxon?”

“Probably, but I’m not sure. I have his phone, so we’ll have to run by and find out what’s going on and at least drop that off so he can reach us.”

“What’s going on? Why were you with him? Or—shit. Maybe that should be obvious to me now.” Her face crumples a bit.

I side-eye her for a second. “It’s not like that. Coach made me go with him. He was upset. We both left the field before the game started, but the dick had me chasing him all the way to the parking lot. I wasn’t even certain he’d let me go with him, but I convinced him that I should drive.” I pause to clear my throat. “His mom isn’t well. I don’t know what’s going on. But there’s some shit I need to ask him about because—” I stop, shaking my head. “I don’t know if I should say anything more.”

She rolls her eyes. “You won’t tell me? I know she’s got health issues. Diabetes—not well-managed, if I understood correctly.”

“Yeah, I know, but that’s not the whole story. It’s—” Fuck it. “It’s that he thinks my mom is the root of the problem. He has this idea that she broke up his parents’ marriage.” There is more at play here than I understand. The more I think about it, the more confused I become.

Her mouth drops open, and she stares at me with wide eyes. “Whoa.” It’s obvious this is news to her as much as it was to me, so I guess Jaxon hasn’t been talking with her about that complexity of our relationship. I can’t decide whether that means a damn thing or not, though. Turns out he’s private as fuck about certain things.

“Yeah. And I don’t know what to believe. I need to talk to my mom. Don’t say anything.”

“I won’t. Promise.”

I nod, focusing on the road as we head back to the hospital.

“Lo?” Rya’s voice sounds funny all of a sudden.

“Yeah?”

“Will you—will you talk to me about what’s going on with you and Jaxon?”

I guess I should have seen that question coming. “You mean beyond me being with him when you called today.” At her nod, I let out a frustrated sigh, throwing a hand into the air. “I don’t know what it is. He confuses the fuck out of me.”

An audible exhale passes between her lips. “Why did you keep what was happening from me?”

My ears buzz, unsure how to answer. “Because I didn’t know— don’t know—what to make of it. I don’t have a clue what’s going on in his demented head.”

“He’s not demented. I think he’s dealing with a lot. He hasn’t completely opened up to me. Obviously.” She gives me a good eye roll. “But… were you going to tell me eventually?”

I pull into the parking lot, getting as close to the entrance of the ER as I can. Turning off the ignition, I grip both thighs, swiveling my head to take her in. “I don’t fucking know what I was going to do. The situation was escalating, and I knew I needed to say something to you, but shit kept happening, and we were having trouble communicating.”

When I hesitate, she reaches over and grabs my hand. “I know . But I wish I had known.”

Thinking back to all those times Jaxon provoked me until I acted, my mind grinds gears trying to figure out how to explain it to her. A breath heaves from my lungs. “He makes me so fucking angry with that smart mouth of his. And he keeps at me until I can’t do anything but fight back.”

“With your dick?” Her eyes slide to mine, their liquid green so beautiful, I almost forget what she said.

I raise my hand, scrubbing it over my scalp. “I— Fuck, Rya. What do you want me to say here? I’ll do anything to make things right with you.”

“This isn’t all on you. Remember what we talked about in the hospital. I was in the wrong, too. And then I was just so upset this morning, caught off guard, and I didn’t like that feeling, especially when you admitted it wasn’t the first time something happened between you. But thinking back now…” She gives me this odd look before whispering, “It was hot. Like totally insanely hot. I—” She puts her hands up to her cheeks. “My face feels warm.”

The swift intake of her breath has me fully turning to stare at her, surprise filling me. “Finish,” I rasp.

The wounded look in her eyes is more than I know what to do with. “I don’t know if there’s room for me in that equation.” My eyes flick to the doors of the ER as they slide open to reveal Jaxon striding toward us.

Rya climbs from the car, then pauses to glance back at me. “For the record, I know you said you wouldn’t get in the way if Jaxon is what I want. But before everything happened this morning, I was hoping to figure out a way we could—” She cringes, shaking her head. “Never mind. It’d never work.”

Before I can demand she tell me exactly what she means, she shuts the door and runs to Jaxon. He catches her slim body in his arms and buries his nose in her hair.

Our eyes connect through the windshield, and he gives me a tiny smirk. This war raging between us, if it were to end in a stalemate, what the fuck does that even look like?