Chapter 21
Riley
T he warm sun hits my face as I look up at the sky and take a deep breath. My job here is done. What started as me helping out Finn to be a buffer ended with my own insecurities being shown to me. I don’t know why I didn’t anticipate his brother asking me about what I did. It was a perfectly normal get-to-know-you question. I suppose I just wasn’t used to the answer being design. For the past five years, the answer was managing a home improvement store. While that’s still true, I should have known Finn wouldn’t let the fact that I was designing on this project go by the wayside.
The more I process this, I realize that he didn’t jump in and help me like he normally does. The way he helps fill the silence when I don’t know what to say. A small smile plays on my lips because I realize he did it because he believes in me. He’s said it countless times, but this time, he showed me with action. He knew that, even though I was sweating, I could talk myself out of that perceived hole. That was the thing with Finn: he wasn’t just talk, he was also action.
The thought of action has my mind moving to the kiss we shared in the car on the way back from dinner last night. I can, without a doubt, say it was the best kiss of my life. I have never felt so on fire by someone’s touch. I surprised myself by my forwardness, as well as the fact that I didn’t have the desire to run afterward. I was also still willing to share a bed with him. If I was being honest, I wanted to share that bed without the wall of pillows between us, but I didn’t let myself admit that.
I continue my walk for a few blocks before heading back. I jump out of my skin when I hear a deep voice in my ear. “Hey, there.” I spin around, swinging my fist, but it’s caught midair. “Whoa, Riles, it’s me. Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you saw me. I walked right by you before doubling back.”
“Oh my gosh, Finn. I’m so sorry.” I punch him in the arm. “But you shouldn’t sneak up on women like that.”
“Like I said, I wasn’t sneaking. I walked right past you, but you must have been in your own little world.”
I can feel the heat rise in my cheeks at the realization that I was fantasizing about him and that’s why I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings.
“It’s okay, just don’t let it happen again,” I say as I fight a smile, and he looks relieved that he didn’t upset me too much. “How did it go?” I ask, worrying my lip.
“It actually went great, surprising, but great. If you don’t mind, I need to stop at my condo to grab something before we head back to Evergreen. Should we head that way and I’ll tell you all about it on the way?”
“Sure, I’d love that, and I’d love to see where the great Finn Hart lives,” I say teasingly.
“It’s nothing special, but come on, let’s go get my truck and head over there.”
***
I spin around in a circle gawking at everything I’m seeing in Finn’s condo that’s “nothing special.” It’s a whole lot special, because it’s not just a condo; it’s the penthouse floor of this building. Complete with its own private elevator.
“Oh, you were right, Finn. This place is a real dump.”
He smirks at me. “Brat. What was I supposed to say? Oh, yeah, I live in a penthouse in the middle of downtown Seattle?” Usually, someone calling me a brat would have me clawing their eyes out, but the way it sounds in Finn’s deep voice does something to my insides. Now it feels much too hot in here. Maybe the air conditioning hasn’t been on in his absence.
“Well, that would have been a lot more accurate.”
“Noted. Next time, I will brag about my station in life.”
I playfully hit him in the chest, and his eyes flare. I don’t know what it is, but things have felt extra charged between us since we got in his truck to come here. He told me about his great conversation with his brother, but since then, things have been pretty silent, and all I feel is electricity.
In an effort to remove myself from this snare, I take a walk around his penthouse. I look out the wall of windows that look out over the whole cityscape. The living room feels very impersonal, with just a low set couch and a television mounted on the wall. The side table holds only a lamp, and the shelves hold books I’m sure he’s never read, because I can almost bet they are not real and are for decoration purposes only. My designer heart is shattering into a million pieces. It seems like he bought this place furnished and whoever decorated it did him a great disservice.
I make my way over to the kitchen and run my hand over the pearly white marble countertops. This kitchen, on the other hand, is a dream for someone who actually cooks or bakes. Couldn’t be me. I don’t have the time, but a girl can dream. Finn comes up behind me and squeezes my shoulders, and I shiver. “What do you think?” he murmurs in my ear.
“I think mob bosses make pretty decent money.”
He chuckles while giving my arms another squeeze. “I’ll be right back. I just need to find something real quick. Then we can hit up that last showroom on the way out of the city.” I’m sure he can see the hairs that rise on the back of my neck, and I’m not even embarrassed about it.
“Sure, sounds good. I’ll be right here,” I say, trying to sound sexy, but I think I just sound unsure.
I watch him walk away to his bedroom and I’m, once again, for the millionth time, staring at his butt. I can feel myself gaining confidence by the day, but I wish I had the confidence to tell him how I really feel about him. I do have to give myself credit for the fact that I have initiated the first two, and only kisses that we’ve shared. If anything, he’s the one unsure, which I know is because of me. I know he wants to respect my boundaries, but now that I have kissed him and not freaked out, I wish he would make a move.
I know that, because of how I’ve been in the past, I’m going to have to communicate that to him, which makes me a little nervous. I decide that when he comes back out, I’m going to let him know that my boundaries have changed and he doesn’t have to be so scared of kissing me, if that’s what the problem is. I’m standing by the counter trying to act casual when he finally emerges from his bedroom. There’s nothing in his hand, so he must not have found what he was looking for.
“No luck?” I ask, trying to act casual.
He pats his pocket. “No, I found it. Are you ready to go?”
This is my chance; it’s now or never. I lift my shaky hand and place it on his chest. “Not quite ready.”
His eyes widen in surprise, before he rights himself and quirks a brow. “Is that right?”
I take a deep breath and continue, “Yeah. Listen, Finn, I know that when we first met, I put my foot down and set a lot of boundaries.”
“Yeah, you did.” He smirks, and I swat him playfully on the chest again.
“Well, as I’m sure you can tell, things have been different between us.” My palms are not as shaky, but it’s still taking everything in me to keep my voice even. I can no longer look him in the eye, so my eyes shoot down to the floor, and I murmur, “So, I suppose what I’m saying is, if you would like to kiss me, I suppose that would be okay… I mean, unless you don’t want to. In that cas—”
Before I know it, both of his hands are on either side of my face and he’s tilting my head up to him so that I have to look him in the eye. “Riles, I thought I would never hear something so sweet come out of your mouth, and I want you to know that I cherish it coming from you.”
Next thing I know, his lips gently press against mine. This is much different from the other kisses we have shared. It feels like there is more emotion behind it, and while that scares me a little, I put it out of my head and try to be in the moment with him. His hands move down to my waist, and I wrap my arms around his neck. Before the kiss deepens, he pulls back, and I immediately feel the absence of him. He must notice the look of disappointment on my face because he says, “Riles, I’m really trying to have some self control here, so we better go.”
I giggle, and he kisses me softly on the forehead. Then he grabs my hand and leads us out of the apartment, and I have a feeling about a new type of future.