This is Me Trying (Evergreen Ridge)

Chapter 20

Finn

T he sunlight is streaming through the window and hitting the high points of Riley’s face, making her look like an angel. Sleeping next to her with this mountain of pillows between us wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be, because she let down some other walls last night. Now, for the second time, I can’t get a kiss out of my head, but this time, I don’t have the sting of her running away after. Not only did she stay, but she allowed me to sleep in the same bed as her.

Overnight, the covers have ridden down to her hip, and I am mesmerized and also trying to keep things under control below the belt. Last night when we were getting ready for bed, she was shy and asked me to turn around while she ran from the bathroom to the bed and got under the covers. Now I can see why.

She’s wearing a pajama set that consists of satin shorts and a matching camisole that are both lined in lace. It’s incredibly sexy, while still covering all the most important parts. But last night, she didn’t want me to see this, so I need to respect it, so I grab the covers and bring them back over her, and she snuggles in deeper.

I don’t want to wake her, so I tiptoe out of bed and into the shower to get ready for our last day here. Today’s the day I’m getting brunch with my brother. It’s been so long since we’ve had a conversation, I have no clue how this is going to go. Did my mom send him to talk to me about something? I can’t imagine he really wants to have a conversation with me on his own.

I feel bad that I’m dragging Riley along, but I definitely feel a sense of comfort at the thought of her being there. Even if it’s just to be a buffer, I know I’ll appreciate her presence either way.

I turn off the shower, dry off, and wrap the towel around my waist. I realize I left my clothes in the room, because I was in a hurry to get into a cold shower. I open the door and stop in my tracks. Riley is up and dressed for the day. She’s wearing a beautiful floral dress that goes just past her knees, and a pink sweater that brings out the rosiness in her cheeks.

She sees me and doesn’t make eye contact. She’s staring at my bare chest, and those gorgeous pink cheeks of hers are even pinker. I give her a few more seconds to ogle me before I clear my throat. Her eyes snap up to mine and her mouth opens, but she says nothing. Just like I always do, I help her out by speaking first. “Morning, you sleep good? Did you have enough room on your side with that great wall of pillows that you constructed between us?”

“Sorry, I went a lil’ overboard, didn’t I?”

I smirk at her. “No, I think it was perfect, the construction was impeccable, and I should know because I’m a contractor.”

“No, I’m pretty sure you’re a mob boss.” She thinks for a minute, twisting her mouth to the side, before she snaps her fingers and continues. “I know, you’re a mob boss and your construction company is where you launder all your money and where you bury all the bodies. Cement hides bodies quite well. So my previous theory of serial killer was on track, but just not all the way flushed out. I didn’t have all the facts that I have now.”

“Oh yeah, what facts are those?”

“Well, I think you make a lot more money than you let on, and I’m not quite sure why you hide it.”

I immediately look down, not wanting to go down this road. I can usually think of a conversation redirect, but this time, I’m drawing a blank. Riley, of course, notices and stands up and walks over to me. She puts her hand on my arm and looks up into my eyes.

“Hey, where did you go just now? I’m sorry if I said something to upset you.”

I look down at her and smile. “No, you could never upset me. It’s just that you are right about that. I’m definitely not filthy rich, by any means, but I do pretty well for myself. I suppose more than your average contractor, because of the kinds of projects I’ve worked on and the contracts I’ve gotten. I don’t let many people know, though. For one, I just don’t ever want to come off stuffy and pretentious, because that’s how my family is, and I never want to be like that. Second, I actually prefer to let my family think I make a very modest living. They have no idea how much money I make. They just assume it’s not much, and they judge me for it.

“So, I don’t want them to know. They think I make next to nothing, and that’s a big disappointment to them. A little to them is a lot to most people, and there shouldn’t be anything wrong with that. Blue-collar workers are the backbone of our society, and I would rather spend my time with them than the stuffy rich people my parents hang out with any day.”

Now she’s looking at me with so much emotion in her eyes that I can’t decipher. “Finn, I’m sorry that your family treats you that way, but you really should be proud of everything that you’ve created. I’m proud of you and I haven’t even known you that long. I wasn’t there when you first started your company, but I can see the fruits of your labor, and it’s incredible. It’s amazing what you’ve created for yourself, but whether you make enough money to order a car service or if you could only afford to walk the city, I would be proud of what you’ve created.”

I can’t help but touch her after all of that, so I brush an errant hair out of her face. “Thank you, Riles.” There’s so much more I want to say, but I don’t want her to spook. I feel like we’re in such a good place right now and admittedly, it’s all happening pretty quickly. I’m a bit worried once it all sinks in that she’s going to bolt again. So, instead, I change the subject. “So, are you sure you want to go to this brunch with my brother? I would understand if it would be uncomfortable for you.”

“Are you kidding? No way. I talked to Chloe, and we have it all worked out.”

I quirk an eyebrow at her, but say nothing.

She rolls her eyes. “I told Chloe about this. Don’t worry, not the actual details, just that I’m going to a brunch with you to be a buffer. So, when you give me the signal, I’ll text Chloe on the down low, and she’ll call me. I’ll excuse myself, saying it’s a really important call I have to take. Which I’ve always wanted to do, by the way. So, when I go to take the call, that’ll leave you to talk to your brother one on one if you feel comfortable.”

“What happens if I’m not ever ready to give you the signal?’

“Then I don’t go anywhere and I become one big cock block.”

My face pales, and I cringe. Riley notices her gaff right away and laughs at herself. Her laugh is easily becoming one of my favorite sounds.

“I just heard how that sounded out loud, considering he’s your brother. So strike that, but everything else stands.”

Now I’m laughing, and I can’t remember the last time I felt this light, and it’s pretty amazing that I’m about to meet with my brother after years of no communication, and I’m not even nervous. That’s all because of Riley.

“Thank you,” I say, smiling at her like an idiot. “Let me just finish getting ready and we’ll head out.”

***

The cherry blossoms have all fallen and been replaced by beautiful green leaves. Thankfully, today has turned out to be a beautiful day, because we’re walking to the restaurant this morning. It was actually very thoughtful of Jackson to find somewhere so close to our hotel. There’s a light breeze, but the sunshine makes it nice and warm.

Riley looks like the goddess of spring in her sundress and sweater. We walk so closely together that our arms brush occasionally, and I’m itching to grab her hand and not let go. We walk in silence, enjoying the sunshine until we reach our destination. I reach for the door, but Riley stops me before my hand connects.

“Do you remember the hand signal?”

I let out an exasperated breath. “Yes, I remember the hand signal. We’ve been going over it all morning, which is also completely unnecessary, because it’s not difficult.”

“Show me.”

I let out another breath, roll my eyes, and tug gently on my ear.

“Great,” she replies. “Let’s go.”

A smirk appears on my face because, while I may be acting exasperated by her antics, I love it. I love that she seems to have left the walls down from last night. I also love that she cares enough to want to go over this, because she’s taking her role as buffer super seriously.

I open the door and usher her in ahead of me. We walk up to the hostess stand, and I give her my name and who we’re meeting here.

“Right this way, Mr. Hart.”

We follow the hostess to the back corner, and I see my brother stand and wave. I haven’t seen him in about three years and he already looks more like a man than the last time I saw him. We make our way over, and when it becomes apparent to the hostess that there’ll be a long greeting between the three of us, she just quietly sets down our menus and walks off.

Gone are the jeans and tennis shoes my brother used to sport, and now he stands here looking so much like our father in a polished three piece suit. I don’t even own a suit anymore. Pretty sure I burned it as part of a ritual when I moved out of my parents’ house. I’m joking, of course, but it’s not too far off from what I wish I did.

“Hey, big bro,” he says while we do the hand clasp, back slap, universal dude greeting.

I step to the side, revealing Riley. “This is Riley. We’re working together on my current project.”

His smile gets so big I think his face might crack. “Finn didn’t mention that his co-worker was so beautiful.”

I fight the primal urge to literally growl at my brother like a caveman. My eyes shoot over to Riley to see if the blush that forms on her beautiful cheeks whenever I flirt with her is there. It’s not, and I let out a breath. Completely unbothered, she stares him dead in the eyes, then looks him up and down, taking in his three-piece suit.

“Finn also didn’t mention his brother was a car salesman, so it looks like he’s just leaving out all sorts of vital details.”

I hold my breath, waiting to see how he’s going to respond. Ready to go on the defensive if he is upset and lashes out at her like my father would. Instead, he throws back his head and lets out a deep laugh.

“I like her, Finn. You better keep her around.”

I respond to him, but my eyes are completely on her. “I intend to.” Now there’s that pretty blush I was looking for on her face earlier. It does something in my chest knowing that I seem to be the only one to put it there.

Jackson ushers us all to sit down, and the waitress comes to take our drink and food order. After she walks away, there’s an awkward silence, but then, thankfully, Jackson fills it.

“So, tell me about this project you guys are working on together. Is this the first time you’ve worked together?”

“It is,” I reply. “Evergreen Ridge has a lot of old school charm, and the developer, Mason, has a vision to make all the new developments match those of the old buildings that were built in the late 1800s, early 1900s.”

“That’s awesome. I wish Seattle would take a page out of that playbook instead of building all these modern skyscrapers.”

I look at him, a bit stunned. I wouldn’t have thought he cared about that kind of thing, probably looking at what would be the cheapest to build and get the most return on investment. It’s quiet for a moment, and I can’t seem to get it together. I’m usually the one to fill the silence, but this time, Jackson seems to be taking on that role.

He continues, “And Riley, where do you fit into this equation?”

She seems a little flustered, and I know it’s because she still has a hard time calling herself an interior designer, even though that’s exactly what she is, and a damn good one. This time, I don’t intervene because I know she’s strong enough to own it herself.

“Umm,” she clears her throat. “I’m the interior designer on the project.”

“Oh, that’s great. How long have you been doing that for?”

Now she seems really nervous, but I know she can get through this.

“This is my first actual job. Before this, it was just a hobby until Finn gave me this opportunity.”

Riley is looking down, and Jackson gives me a small smirk and a knowing look. I know I need to step in now because it’s bogus that Riley believes I really had anything to do with her getting this job. Sure, I asked Mason, but he wouldn’t have hired her if she wasn’t right for the job. And since then, she’s shown how hard she works while turning in quality work.

“I didn’t do anything. It was all Riley. I saw her work and mentioned to Mason that if he was going to really achieve what he wanted with this project, he was going to have to hire someone with the vision to get it there on the design side.”

Her cheeks pink once again, and she looks up to rejoin the conversation. She’s done a great job being a buffer, and I realize that this conversation has flowed a lot easier than I expected it to. She has really endured a lot of discomfort to help me, so I think it’s time for the signal and let her off the hook for the rest of this lunch.

So I wait until Riley is looking and tug on my ear. Her eyes widen, and she gives a small nod to tell me she understands. A minute later, her phone rings and her brow furrows when she sees who it is. Wow, she is quite the little actress.

“Excuse me. I’m so sorry, but I have to take this call.”

“Oh sure, no problem,” Jackson replies while giving me a knowing look.

We both stand as Riley does. She gathers her purse and gives my shoulder a quick squeeze as she walks away. I can’t help but to watch her until she has exited the restaurant. Now Jackson is really staring at me.

“Important phone call in the middle of brunch, huh?”

I wince. “That obvious?”

“Yeah, but I don’t blame you. I can only imagine what you must think of me.”

“Jackson, I…” He holds up his hand to stop me from continuing.

“Listen, I’m the one who asked you here to talk, so let me get everything out in the open before you say anything, alright?”

I nod. “Alright.”

“So, I know our family is a bunch of stifling douchebags.”

I quirk a brown at him. I’ve never heard him speak like this about our family before.

“Don’t get me wrong, for a while I was right there with them. I thought I had to go to college and make a ton of money to be worth anything. I always had Mom in my ear, and I took everything she said to heart. For a long time, I believed it and looked down on those who didn’t think the same way. That includes you, and I wanted to say how sorry I am.

“I went to the banquets and benefits, I did the networking. I worked my butt off in college and got the job that I knew Mom and Dad would approve of. Now, I’m absolutely miserable.” My eyes widen, and there’s a pang in my chest. “I’m miserable, and I have no one to blame but myself. I’m surrounded by vultures who only care about making money and getting ahead. I can’t tell who wants to be my friend or date me for me, or for my money and name. Most of all, I don’t even have my brother anymore.”

There’s emotion in his eyes that absolutely breaks my heart. What kind of big brother would I be if I turned him away because of his lack of being there all these years? It’s taken a lot for him to reach out to me the way he has.

I punch him lightly in the arm and say, “Jackson, you’re my brother, you will never not have me. Trust me, I know how hard it is to be in this family, with all the expectations. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done is go against Mom and Dad’s expectations of me. Am I happy? Yes, absolutely, but I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t still affect me. That I don’t feel like a failure sometimes because I don’t fit into the box that they wanted me to be in my whole life.”

“Thanks, bro. I honestly expected you to tell me to piss off.”

“I honestly thought I would when you first called. I thought Mom put you up to something.”

“Most definitely not. I’ve been trying to keep my distance because they’re going to be out of their ever loving minds when they find out that I’m going to throw everything that I’ve worked for away, as they would say.”

I quirk my eyebrow at him in question. And he lets out a sigh before he continues.

“I’m quitting my job.”

My face pales. “What?!”

“I told you, I’m absolutely miserable. I can’t spend one more day at that law firm full of sharks. Where everyone is out for themselves and they don’t care about the actual clients that they are working for. I want to do something that matters. I want to help people, and I just can’t do that where I am right now.”

“Mom and Dad are gonna flip.”

“Hence why I said I’ve been avoiding them.”

“Well, you can’t avoid them forever. Can I be there when you tell them that not just one of their sons, but both, are going to turn out to be major disappointments?”

“Sure, but it’s your funeral. They’re going to think it’s all you’re doing.”

“Let them. I’ll take the blame for you if you want. I’m already the biggest disappointment of their lives, may as well add to the pile.”

This time, he punches me lightly on the arm. “I’ll be in good company, then. Thanks for agreeing to meet with me. I miss you, bro.”

“Anytime. Maybe you could come visit Evergreen Ridge sometime and get away. I have plenty of room in my long-term rental.” I don’t mention that I’m also hoping to be staying in Evergreen for a lot longer than originally anticipated.

“You know, that actually doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”

This brunch didn’t turn out to be what I thought it would, in the best possible way. This weekend was a breakthrough for both me and Riles, and now apparently, my brother. I never thought I would hear the things that came out of his mouth today.

I feel validated in my feelings about my family and I feel a lot less like a failure for not conforming to their standards of success. I don’t ever want my brother to be unhappy, but the fact that he followed their set course and is miserable tells me I’ve made the right decision to break out of the mold. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would be someone my brother looked up to, but here we are and it feels really good.