6. Lilly
Chapter 6
Lilly
“ Y ou’re coming.” Cassidy’s tone leaves no room for argument.
But I try anyway. “Cass… I don’t think now’s the right time. The only thing people will talk to me about is my parents, and we both know that no one will have anything nice to say about them.”
She hums through the phone speaker. “Okay, that’s fair. They’d all be supportive of you, though. You know that, right? Your parents may not have been the most well-liked people in town, but you were. You deserve to have a little fun. Not a single person here would begrudge you that. When’s the last time you got to go out without Nellie?”
I sigh. She’s going to get her way when I tell her this. “I honestly can’t remember.”
“See! That settles it. Come to Donna’s. You can sit at the bar, and I’ll shoo away anyone you don’t want to talk to.”
I roll my eyes. “Fine. I’ll see you in an hour.”
“Yes! Any longer and I’ll come get you myself.”
A laugh puffs out of me before I can stop it. “You’re ridiculous. I’ll see you soon.”
We hang up, and I head for my bedroom to find something to wear. I didn’t plan for a night out when I packed my clothes. Not that I need to wear anything fancy there, it’s a casual type of place anyway, but people are going to talk to me, and I’d rather not look like a bedraggled, sad excuse for a woman.
Especially if you run into Noah.
No. I’m not thinking about him. I refuse to think about how good he looked at the store yesterday. He didn’t make my stomach flutter like he used to when we were teenagers. Not even close.
And denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.
I huff out a breath. This is ridiculous. I grab my phone from my pocket and see it’s time for my daily check-in with Noelle. She’s the perfect distraction from my swirling thoughts. God, I miss her. While it has been nice to get a small break, my day just doesn’t feel complete without her.
She answers Christine’s phone on the first ring. Her sweet blue eyes stare at me through the screen. “Hi, Mom. Four more sleeps!”
The countdown has begun until they come to Sonoma. “Four more sleeps, baby. How was your day?”
She chatters nonstop for the next five minutes, telling me every detail about what they did today. They didn’t do anything too exciting, but hearing it from Noelle, you’d think they went on the biggest adventure. I ask follow-up questions, soaking up every moment with her until I can tell she’s ready to be done with our phone call.
“It sounds like you had the best day. I wish I could’ve been there with you.”
“Where will I sleep at Grandma and Grandpa’s?”
I move my camera around my room. My bed has a trundle under it that I slide out for Noelle to see. She’s very excited about sleeping in the same room as me. She’d sleep in bed with me every night if I let her. It’s a struggle to say no when she asks, but the girl is a starfish when she sleeps. Most days she wakes up lying in the opposite direction of where she started.
“Okay. Good night, Mom. Love you.” She hangs up before I can say I love you back, and I laugh. I wait a few minutes before I call Aunt Christine. It’s bedtime, so Nellie will be busy going through her nightly routine now.
“Did she hang up on you?” Christine asks.
“Oh, yeah. It’s bedtime. There’s no time for talking anymore,” I tease.
“I do love that she handles all that by herself now.”
“Same.” Bedtime used to be a struggle for Nellie. She was always in the middle of something when it was time to go to sleep, and the routine usually began with a meltdown because she wasn’t ready to go to bed. Now, the minute the clock hits eight-thirty, she drops whatever she’s doing and starts her routine. It’s nice in some aspects, but her rigidity comes with its own challenges.
“How are you?” Christine asks.
“Fine, I guess. I’m not sure how I feel most of the time. Going through their stuff has been harder than I imagined. I actually worked on that god-awful website I’ve been struggling with because I didn’t want to go through their bedroom stuff.”
“Well, I don’t blame you there. I wouldn’t want to go through that room either. What if you find a sex toy or something?”
“Oh, my God! Christine! I wasn’t even thinking about that. Now I’m going to be terrified to open any of the drawers.”
Christine’s laugh is loud, and I can’t help but giggle with her. I would pass out if I found something like that in Mom and Dad’s room.
“You can leave that space for me. I’ll go through it for you.”
“No, we can tackle it together. I’m still trying to dig through the office paperwork to find all the contacts I need for the funeral.” Mom delineated every minute detail about how she wanted her funeral planned. It’s a little insane, if I’m honest. “I met with the lawyer again today to finalize their will. I’ve never seen anything like it. Thank God they wanted to be cremated. I’d never have been able to plan her funeral how she wanted if I was under a time crunch.”
“Can’t you just throw shit together and call it good? I’m not saying you give her a shitty funeral, but do you actually have to do every single thing she lined out?”
I scoff. Christine and my mom never got along. Mom always thought Christine was a bad influence on me. She did not agree with the way Christine lived her life. She hated that Christine never fit into the societal standard of normal. It was a huge surprise that Mom was okay with me living with her after I found out I was pregnant. I was ecstatic, but I always wondered why Mom allowed it. I figured she didn’t want me to stay in Sonoma, and they didn’t want to move to Greensboro, so Christine was the only option. “The woman put a stipulation in there that for me to receive my inheritance, I had to follow her instructions to the letter. Can you believe that?”
“Jesus. Who knew a funeral mattered that much to your mom?”
“I’m sure it was her way of controlling my actions one last time.”
“She was pretty good at that, wasn’t she?”
“Unfortunately. And yet, I find myself missing her. Like my heart aches with the knowledge that I’ll never see her again. It’s messed up.”
“Oh, Loo. I’m sorry. You’re such a good daughter.”
I shake my head at my wayward thoughts. “Anyway. It will take some time to get the funeral arrangements together.”
“That’s all right. We’ll figure it out.”
“Thanks, Aunt Christine. I love you.”
“I love you right back, sweet girl. We’ll talk tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Give Nellie a kiss for me.”
We hang up, and I stare at my suitcase. There’s only one option in there, so it will have to do.
The din surrounding me makes me grateful for Cassidy.
If I’d stayed home, I’d be blanketed in silence and loneliness. Instead, I’ve spent the last hour catching up with a couple of old classmates and one high school teacher who was struggling to reconcile that I was even old enough to be at Donna’s.
“You want another vodka lemonade?” Cassidy grabs my empty glass from in front of me.
“Yes, please.” I tap the bar top to the rhythm of the song playing over the speakers. There’s always a wide range of music playing to fit almost everyone’s music tastes.
A cheer goes up from the pool tables, and I turn to see what’s happening. Almost all the tables in the main part of the bar are filled. Toward the back of the room are two pool tables and a few dart boards. Cassidy said they just added a shuffleboard table, and it’s been more popular than she expected.
I’m still trying to see what all the commotion is about when familiar blue eyes meet mine from across the room. Shit. Even from a distance, his gaze can ensnare me without an ounce of effort.
The sound of glass on the bar has me whipping around as if I just got caught doing something naughty.
“I’m guessing you saw him.” Cassidy raises an eyebrow.
“Oh, yeah.” I take a long drink through my straw. “Why does he have to look even more gorgeous than he did in high school?”
“Shitty luck?”
I snort. “I think most people would argue with you.”
Cassidy’s gaze moves over my shoulder, and just by the look on her face, I know it’s Noah.
“Cass.” His deep voice makes goose bumps slide over my skin. “Could I get another beer, please?”
She responds with a nod, her face devoid of any emotion. I take a chance to look up at Noah. Even sitting on my barstool, he’s much taller than me. His blond hair is pushed back off his face, but I can tell it’s a few inches longer than it used to be. I’m surprised to see him still wearing his glasses. He used to get frustrated that contacts irritated his eyes because he hated wearing glasses. I always thought he looked hot in them, and time hasn’t changed my opinion.
My cheeks flush bright red when he catches me staring. Cassidy sets his beer in front of him, and he drops some cash for her. With a nod at me, he turns back toward his table.
I look at Cassidy with wide eyes. What the hell was that? He didn’t even say a word to me. It was as if we were strangers.
Sure. I got a little pissy with him yesterday, but to not say a single word to me seems a bit extreme. Maybe? Okay, so I was angrier at him than I want to admit. I probably shouldn’t have said what I did. He was being nice, even if his wanting to catch up made me mad.
“That was weird,” Cassidy says.
“No kidding. It’s probably for the best.”
Cass shrugs. “If you say so.”
I covertly look over my shoulder only to catch his gaze again. I whip back around as if his stare burned me.
“Smooooooth.” Cassidy grins.
“Shut up.”