Chapter 22
“I still don’t understand.” Nash paced along the edge of the Great River where I had met with the ugal days previous. His feet curled around the stones piled along the edges.
“I don’t understand either.”
I had recounted my vision from the previous night, editing out the parts that made it seem like Nash and I were to repeat the feud between Lycaon and Nyx. While Eden’s dream and my own vision both leaned towards the belief that Nash would be dangerous, I wanted to believe the best about him.
“It sounds like you have to die to save Arcadia from ruin.” His voice shook. He swallowed. “Is that what you got from it?”
I shrugged. “Maybe, but I’m not sure if that future is definite or only one possible future.”
Nash sighed, turning away. I watched the hem of his robe grow more damp as the river water climbed up the fabric. I didn’t want to die. I wanted the opposite. But who was I to doubt a Seer? Who was I to fight fate? Who was I to step away from the heroic history of Lycaon?
I glanced up as Nash’s shoulders tensed. He straightened as his eyes met mine. He stood in shadow, eyes dark and sinister. “Nightshade.”
“Nash, I don’t think–”
“Hear me out, Si,” he interrupted, stepping closer. “You take a small dose, and we can have Ransom and Markus there to help if things go south. Seers do it all the time.”
“Nash,” I fixed my eyes on a wren rummaging through the underbrush of the forest. “We don’t know if it will help.”
“It can’t hurt.”
“We know that it can! Seers have died from taking too much.”
Nash shook his head. “I think it’s the only way.”
“Sen sun ferulukos.”
“Maybe I am crazy.” Nash shrugged. “But it could mean the difference between us knowing you’re going to die and hoping to change that outcome.”
I hated that he made at least a little sense.
It might be my only way to know for sure.
I may be able to see Lycaon again.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
I nodded. “Let’s do it. Now.”
Nash stayed close behind me as we returned to the maintained trails of Arcadia. I moved through the mix of wolves and people when we arrived at Mender’s Heath. Asa, robed in faded evergreen with a group of pups, slathered a salve of waybread over one of their chests. Another kid must have bitten the victim while wrestling.
They noticed Nash and I and bowed.
“Stand up straight,” I corrected my own posture.
The children clambered to stand straighter than the child on the right or left. Asa patted the shoulder of the injured boy who leapt off the narrow bed. Together, the group scampered back to the Yard, chattering about the injury when they left.
“My King.” Asa bowed his head to me. “And Prince Nash. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
He smiled and turned back to tidy up the waybread salve.
“I need a small dose of nightshade.” I tried to speak evenly, hoping that the Healer couldn’t detect my own nervousness.
He fumbled with the lid for the salve. “Nightshade?” He hesitated as he replaced the jar on a shelf with a dozen other unlabeled bottles. “Whole or crushed?”
I glanced at Nash. He shrugged.
I swallowed. “I need enough to produce a state of Sight, enough to envision.”
“I see.” Asa nodded once. “I take it Ransom has your feathers ruffled again?”
Nash raised his eyebrows at me.
Frowning, I shook my head. “Do you have what I need?”
Asa sighed while he rummaged through a basket of smaller bottles and jars. “I do. Of course I do. And I will not question you but warn you. This is playing with fire. Fire can warm and feed and protect, but it can also burn and destroy and kill.” He pointed a stare at me. “I will be here until midnight should you need my assistance. Send word.”
He handed me a dusty bottle with a cairn drawn on the front.
“Take a three-fingered pinch with your tea. The effects are difficult to predict; even the Seers wouldn’t know how your body would react until you take it. Be on guard, and do be careful, Silas.”
The elderly Healer smiled at me. He’d been the one to bandage my wounds after Nash and I had fought. He’d healed every sickness, disease, poison ivy rash, and everything else for my entire life.
My resolve faltered. “Thank you, Asa. I will. I promise.”
I turned, ducking through the doorway as I went. Nash followed, and I led us down into the tighter, darker portion of the maintained trails towards the Sage Brush where Ransom and Markus would be.
It always struck me strange that the rest of the forest could be so light and breezy, but it grew darker and colder the closer one got to the Sage Brush. The ghost beetles buzzed around the ferns and underbrush, drifting away when we passed.
“Si.” Nash’s whispered voice broke our silence.
I stopped, turning to face him.
He worked his jaw side to side for a moment before shaking his head. “Do you trust them?”
“You’re the one who had this idea in the first place.” I glanced to the side, drawn to movement beyond the shadows. “We’re being watched.”
I turned back, pushing forward with as much confidence as I could muster.
It’s not that I don’t trust them. But do they trust me?
I kept my eyes down until the faint, golden light of lanterns illuminated the soft, dirt path in front of my bare feet. Upon first observation, the darkness enveloped the forest like midnight. However, sunshine leaked through cracks here and there. The effect unsettled me as I stepped through the woven archway where two lanterns had been hung and lit.
The rest of the pathway had lanterns hung at intervals, leaving some spaces in shadows. The light played tricks on my eyes, shadows bending and swaying while I made my way to the ceremonial grounds.
We crossed paths with the first violet-robed Seer a few minutes into the walk. She lowered her hood when we passed, and she bowed.
“Still weird,” I muttered under my breath.
“Do you know where you’re going?” Nash hissed behind me. Panic lurked at the edges of his voice.
“Yes. I’ve been here a few times since…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it out loud in this place.
“Yeah.” Nash walked up next to me. “But you know what you’re looking for, or where they’ll be?”
“I have a feeling he already knows we’re coming.” I swallowed, my mouth dry.
When we turned the last corner, the blue-tinged flames of the ceremonial grounds stopped me in my tracks. This place didn’t comfort or ease pain. The Sage Brush was a place of confirming worst fears.
Taking a deep breath, I crossed the threshold. The flames from the pit in the center of the clearing leapt high, imitating my wolf form in eerie blue flame, and another thinner and darker wolf followed behind, imitating Nash.
A group of Seers were working on a variety of things: writing in books, examining leaves from native Arcadian plants, and charting stars. One hooded Seer held fire in his bare hands, illuminating his chin and lips.
“Ransom,” I muttered.
“Onni, je kunan.”
“I’m sure you know our reason for seeking you out.”
Ransom folded his hands, extinguishing the fire. Gray ash-stained skeletal fingers on his palms. “I do, indeed. I must say, I hadn’t expected such action from you considering…”
With a flick of his hand, the fire in the pit leapt again, and a figure swirled into focus, all wild hair twisted among honeysuckle vines.
I licked my dry lips. “She knows what she needs to know.”
Nash turned his head towards me.
Had he assumed I told her about the vision?
Why should I worry a human who can’t do anything about it? Why should I worry anyone who wouldn’t understand?
“Of course. And I take it, you wish for Markus to join us?”
Another Seer approached the fire, lowering his hood to reveal a broad-shouldered, blond-haired man with a heavy-set jaw. He bowed and met my eyes.
I had seen him often with my sister. They’d grown closer since the death of our father. And he spoke honestly with me, which I appreciated.
“It would be wise to have double the knowledge,” I said.
“I couldn’t agree more, my king.” Ransom held an ash-stained hand out towards a dark path. “If you will follow me, we can begin.”
I was glad to be following Ransom as the path in front was unlit and pitch black. I knew you had to have the Sight to reach the deepest parts of the Sage Brush without becoming hopelessly lost.
Ransom stopped abruptly, and I collided with his back. I paused, focusing all my attention on what lay ahead. It smelled of sage and burnt wood and summer rain. Ransom blew on his hand and the eerie blue lanterns ignited.
The small room had a narrow bed like at Mender’s Heath. A basket lay next to it, along with a low table containing various things like herbs and water.
“My king, if you’ll take your place.” Ransom motioned towards the bed, and I obeyed.
I met Nash’s unreadable gaze as I settled down, my legs draped over the end. He stood on the opposite side of the bed facing Ransom and Markus who busied themselves at the low table.
“May I?” Markus asked, holding his hand out towards me.
I passed him the bottle of nightshade. “Asa said, a–”
“Three-fingered pinch with your tea,” Markus finished. “Forgive me, my king, but this is not our first experience with nightshade.”
“Right.” I swallowed. “What should I expect?”
“There are…” Markus searched for the right word. “Many potential symptoms.”
Ransom blew on his hand again, igniting a sprig of something and placing a mug over it.
“Many have experienced nausea, others have trouble breathing or feverish symptoms. The key is to keep your mind clear of dark thoughts.”
“Like that’s possible in a place like this,” Nash grumbled.
Markus continued like he hadn’t heard my brother. “If you keep your mind clear and focus on the question you want answered most, with mine and Ransom’s assistance, you’ll be able to find the answers you seek.”
“Is it as simple as that?” I asked, my voice betraying my doubt.
Ransom lifted his head now, holding something crushed in his hands. “It is as simple and as difficult as you allow it to be.”
Nash disguised a scoff as clearing his throat. He folded his arms over his chest.
Ransom moved from lantern to lantern, garnishing them each with a dash of something that caused the flames to turn white, casting the world in shades of gray.
Ransom flipped over the mug, tendrils of smoke dissipating in the air. He passed it to Markus. When Markus put tea in the mug and covered it in hot water, the smell of licorice and conifers filled the already sage-scented air.
My breaths slipped in rapid succession, the anticipation wearing on my nerves. I closed my eyes, forcing myself to exhale with each breath.
It’s just tea.
I’m just going to drink a cup of tea.
I looked back up in time to see Markus put a three-fingered pinch of crushed nightshade into the hot tea, muddying the usually clear liquid.
“Whenever you’re ready.” Markus passed me the mug.
It smelled extra earthy, like someone had put greens into the drink. But it reminded me of the swirling dark waters of the Great River after a storm.
Like it waited for this moment, all my fears of leaving the physical world rushed to me. I thought of my mother, my father, all the kings before me. I wondered about my people, about Caroline and Nash, who I’d leave behind if I passed over Realms. I thought about Eden, who would be left untethered once more.
What have I gotten her into?
Without thinking about it, my cup moved to my lips and I drank. For a moment, nothing happened. I gulped it down despite its scalding heat and watched the two Seers and my brother. They observed me closely.
I shook my head, opening my mouth in an attempt to speak. My body burned. My heart thrashed in my ears, feet, hands, and head.
Relentless pounding.
My vision darkened.
“What’s happening?”
I’d heard Nash’s voice, but I couldn’t see him no matter where I turned. The darkness covered everything.
Had Ransom doused all the lanterns as swiftly as he’d lit them?
“My king,” Ransom said, but again I couldn’t find him. “You need to clear your mind. Allow the nightshade to assume control.”
“Here,” Markus placed something woven in my hands. “It’s a basket if you need to–”
My body responded before I could. I expelled the contents of my stomach into the basket. I brushed my hand over my lips. My tongue tasted bitter.
“Silas.” Ransom’s voice was sterner this time. “Clear your mind. What question is it to which you seek answers?”
I growled though no words escaped my lips.
Am I human?
Am I wolf?
No, that’s not it.
My thoughts rambled incoherently.
“Do something!” Nash’s voice strangled with panic.
A muffled voice muttered beside me across from Nash. The words were in the Ancient Tongue but flowed like rushing water through my ears, a calming presence.
The fog that had occupied my mind since finishing the tea cleared as if from a western wind.
I wish to speak to Lycaon. I want to know what really happened the day he disappeared and the next king assumed the throne. I want to know what I must do to protect my kingdom, my people, my family, my future wife.
The chanting grew faint, and I wondered if the nightshade hadn’t worked. I began to see light again and realized that Ransom must be relighting the lanterns.
But I found myself seated on a familiar outcrop of rock overlooking the valley. I was at Rauha, miles away from the Sage Brush. But the valley seemed different.
Is this the past?
Footsteps sounded behind me. I turned around. A massive white virlukos stepped through the branches. I had seen him the night before in my dreams.
“King Lycaon.”I bowed, realizing that I stood on all fours, my wolf paws beneath me.
“Rise, young king.” His voice rumbled in my chest, rattling my bones.
I stood, trying to make myself look tall. I wanted to have it all together, to make him proud after all he did for Arcadia, after all he did for me.
“You wished to speak to me.” He huffed out a laugh. Whatever I had expected, this wasn’t it. My request wasn’t meant to be amusing. “Speak, young king.”
I found myself speechless in front of him. Here I was, this puny child trying to protect the kingdom for which Lycaon had sacrificed everything.
What did I have to say that would mean anything to him?
He exhaled, and the hot breath rustled my hair. My tongue-tied mouth had been freed.
“My King.” I inclined my head.“I… I saw…” I swallowed, unsure how to continue.
“You saw the day my brother, Nyx, betrayed our destiny.” Lycaon raised his head high, gazing out over the valley, the place under his care. “And you would like to know what really happened that day.”
“Well… yes.” I frowned. If he could read my thoughts, why did he want me to speak at all? “Did he kill you?”
“Take a good look at me. Do I seem dead?” He turned to me, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
I poured over every inch of his body visible from where I sat. His body was completely intact, not injured in any way.
“Not that I can see.”
“Then no. I would say he has not killed me.”
“But then what happened? Where did you go? Why did you make them mourn when you could return to them?” Frustration laced my words. If I drank nightshade to not find answers, I would be furious.
“I chose to leave my Spirit behind, like all the other kings and queens of Arcadia.”
“But my father–”
“Iain is very lucky to have a son like you, a daughter like Caroline, and a son like Nash.”
“But–”
“Silas.” My name from Lycaon’s lips sent a shudder through my body. “Wherever you go, I am with you. To the end of the age. Am I not alive?”
“Well, you are, but–”
“Am I not with you even now?”
“Yes, but–”
“Silas.” Lycaon spoke gently, but it stopped me mid-sentence again. “You already have what you need to bring light to the darkness.”
My eyebrows furrowed. “But what is it? What will I see?”
“My son, you shall see wonders.”
My face grew hot. “I’m not worthy.”
“What you do does not make you worthy.” His fur brushed against mine when he sat beside me. “It’s what’s inside of you that makes you worthy.”
I turned my head to the side, gazing over the valley under my care now. “And if I fail?”
“Then you learn. And we try again.”
My vision blurred and I bit back tears. After a moment of expectant silence, I took a shuddered breath. “And if I die?”
“What an adventure that will be.”
A whimper escaped my lips. “I don’t want to die. I can’t. I can’t leave them. Not now.”
Lycaon’s breath rustled my fur, but he said nothing.
“I can’t do it,” I choked.
“When the time is right, and you’ll know when it is, peace will follow you across the realms. And you’ll once again be reunited with your mother, your father, and the ancients before you.”
“But my family… I can’t leave them.”I rubbed my muzzle against my shoulder.
“It’s up to you to take the next step on the path. You aren’t called to jump ahead of your destiny. Don’t worry about the future; doing so will only cause you to lose your way.”
“But how will I know which path to take?” I looked up at him, unashamed of my tears.
“You will. Know this: you will make me proud.”He met my gaze with a gleam in his eyes. “I am sure of it.”
I tried to speak, but my breath caught in my lungs.
Lycaon stood, bowing low, and disappeared into the forest.
I turned my gaze over the valley while time sped up, the sun rapidly falling behind the hills, darkness surrounding me.
Vene vaara elo dumahn.
Danger is in my future.
He was coming, and I would die fighting.