Bonus Content
Varro’s POV
I felt my mate’s presence before I ever saw her. The moment I beheld her with my own eyes, hers were transfixed elsewhere. Her thoughts were flooded with every range of emotion, all of which indicated her heart lay with another. Shock, surprise, relief, lust, desire, confusion—I watched it all consume her as she locked gazes with the dark-haired male beside me. A stranger whose appearance distinctly contrasted my own. All of my fear and concern about what the Offering entailed had come to a halt when I saw her.
When each of us stood, the thin, soaked garments clung to our bare skin and outlined the form of our bodies, and there was nowhere to hide. She stared at him, and I stared at her. Momentarily, I struggled with the notion that I should show a modicum of respect for this female whose name I did not yet even know. I should not gaze upon her shapely beauty without her permission. Shamefully, though, unable to turn away, I continued, noting how the dim glow of the pool surrounding us highlighted the angles of her soft features. Her thoughts were singularly focused on the sight and presence of his body across from hers. Who was she? Who were they? Was I misreading this strange feeling?
Those who have found their fated ones have always described it as a unique sensation akin to humming or thrumming that sits just beneath the skin. It was the bond calling to the other once in close proximity. The relentless sensation of which would only cease when the bond was sealed through the act of lovemaking, binding themselves to one another for eternity.
In the stories passed down by our elders, the God of the Sea became heartbroken when he was separated from the Goddess of the Moons, for they were mates. The sea, once calm and predictable became fierce and tempestuous, reaching for the light of the moons with each crashing wave. And so, the Sea Fae of old embarked on great voyages in hopes that their travels would lead to that sacred pairing. They made sacrifices to the Gods they worshipped, praying their pursuit was just. Some people, like my father, sacrificed too much. As if any offered soul could quench the sorrow of the mighty sea.
Is it possible these strange waters we were forced to submerge in were playing tricks on me? Was this something else entirely? But I could not ignore the undeniable truth that I felt tethered to this female.
As we exited the pool, I tried to make my side glances appear inconspicuous. My mouth watered, my skin warmed, my gills flared and my ears perked at just the sound of her footsteps. Everything felt oddly attuned, like she was the only one there—but we were most definitely not alone.
Once we were outside, standing before the carriages, we were instructed to drink an unidentified liquid. My instincts wanted me to knock the vial from her hand. This near-instantaneous sentiment of protection was new and hard to comprehend. I needed to do my best to have my wits about myself. The Offering was very much underway. I found myself surrounded by other Highborn and should have been making note of them and any other details that might unveil more about our destiny. It was impossible, though, when every fiber in my body felt like it was straining to know her, to touch her—to hear the voice of my fated one.
Ever since arriving at Basdie, Trace’s mind had been unreadable. He was guarded and aloof, even with her. Cress’s mind, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. She foolishly—and regularly—left her mental shields unattended; her naivety and innocence made her overly trusting. But her weakness was an open door for me. It was intrusive, but I couldn’t have stopped myself if I tried. Once she realized the need to guard her thoughts, the advantage of this doorway would close, and who knows how tightly?
The sound of her name played through my head on a loop, like an unforgettable song. When we introduced ourselves and she finally looked at me, I could have stayed locked in that moment forever. I felt a blush overcome my golden skin, knowing that she actually found me handsome. One tilt of my head, though, and that was all it took for any semblance of attraction to dissipate.
Once she saw my gills and quickly deduced who I was, who my father was, I could feel her fury lunge across the table like a rabid wolf aiming for my throat. I was used to this hatred by now. Numb to it. But, Gods, please, not her .
The irony of her affections being intertwined with a black cloak… It was absurd. By all accounts, she seemed soft, kind, and unaffected by the hideous truths of our world. Nothing like him. The Gods were cruel. A member of the Orni here with me, with her, consuming her every thought. I didn’t recognize him, but it was possible he had been with the ones that came for my father and had concealed his true face. You never can tell with the black cloaks. He didn’t deserve to look at her, let alone speak to her. I clenched my teeth as thoughts of him touching her clouded my mind like a storm rolling in. I noted the indisputable signs like the inky tattoos along his arms. The same ones the entire brotherhood displayed like badges of honor. It was nothing more than proof of their vicious, murderous hearts.
Before I could stop myself, I was making remarks about his past. Unsure if it was really about him, or just the fact that each second she looked at him with admiration made my stomach roil. Her first impressions of me were already marred by her own bias, adding a physical altercation with him wasn’t going to win me any favors.
I kept my distance from her—by sheer force of will—but still attempted to listen in on her conversations and thoughts. I admired how she attempted to socialize and fit in with the others, while I remained guarded. All my focus on Cress served as a near-constant distraction from everything else going on.
She was the only Honored Fae among us, and you’d think that she’d understand what it felt like to be judged for things beyond your control, but that wasn’t the case. Not after everything that had transpired at Erisas Bay. No, she was intent on making plenty of assumptions about me. Maybe the increasing desire to speak to her had me acting a bit outlandish. Even if that meant arguing, I was willing to entertain it.
I had figured if she was going to hate me, she might as well know the real truth about her lover, or whatever he was to her… I hadn’t expected to be so direct, to aim my words like sharp arrows, but they soared out of me with little composure. The more we bickered, the more the tensions caused the bond to ripple and nearly sear my skin.
Attempting to make my exit and avoid any further banter, I could not deny the pull reeling me in as I intruded on her space. Curiously, I reached out and pushed aside her hair, revealing that her ear no longer bore the feather. I could still smell him on her skin where it had touched her flesh, but even then, I was pleased to find it absent. Patience was my ally, I told myself, for circumstances would arise to sever their ties.
The longer we remained in Basdie, the more certain I was that if I could do anything to get Cress out of here, I would. If I was granted only one wish, it would be that, to help her be free of this place. I wouldn’t care if she never knew it was me. I barely knew her, but I desperately wanted to. Despite feeling locked out, I still felt a deep responsibility to protect her.
I had grown up around people like Saryn, Theory, and Trace. My father and many of his inner circle were manipulative and evil. Dark-hearted and wanting to mold us into the same. Each passing hour it broke me a little more to think of her stuck here and waiting to be subjected to their teachings. When Theory stated that she expected us to treat each other as equals in the sparring room, I could feel the bile rise in my throat. I couldn’t stand the thought of any of them, male or female, laying a hand on her. My fears were answered all too quickly.
The sound of Saryn’s hand across her face almost sent me into a frenzy. I gritted my teeth, my hands clenching as I prepared to pounce, when suddenly our unsuspecting Cress unleashed a side of herself we’d never seen. I watched in awe as she took on Saryn with full measure; violent swings, one after the other. I could feel her anger emanate from across the room as sweat pooled at her brow. Her precise movements were like a dance, and it was clear she had been trained. Trained well. Temporary relief washed over me, knowing she wasn’t entirely helpless.
I remained on guard but had relaxed my arms a bit when, to my surprise, she called for a blade. I smiled, watching as she bested Saryn and held the sword to his belly. When she yelled “yield,” it dawned on me…her exposure to this type of confrontation came from courtyard sparring and classroom instruction. No warrior would cry “yield” to an opponent on the battlefield.
It pained me to see her not understand his silence. Members of the Order did not yield. Oh, Cress, these are not the kind of people you’re used to. When she finally pulled back, realizing she did not have the courage to draw blood, she did something even more surprising. She returned Saryn’s brazen slap. The bond tingled as she put him in his place.
Today was hard. Much harder than I had expected it to be. I had never put much thought or sentiment into showing my wings—until her. Suddenly, the foreign customs seemed like they mattered. Watching her look up at Trace’s wings was just as painful as being forced to share ours with each other for the first time in the presence of others.
I knew I hadn’t made much progress in the way of gaining her affections, but everything at Basdie moved quickly. This place had stripped us of our autonomy before we had even realized it. Its momentum was unstoppable, inevitable. We complied as commanded or our lives were forfeit. A fact we were constantly reminded of.
Seeing his black Nightwings, I was reminded of her earring. It stung to think of their intimacy; I was glad she had not worn it since that first day. One less thing to torture me.
I stepped up to the ledge with the others and stared out into the expanse of the valley, surrounded by the gray mountains of the Elorns. I didn’t know if I wanted to see her reaction. Looking at her might give away my true feelings, and that seemed unsafe in a place like this. I let them unfurl and felt the dry, harsh air, so different from the warmth of the sea breeze.
I longed for home. I longed to be submerged in the salty waters, or sprawled out on the shore letting the tide rush over me with the sun warming my skin. I wished to be anywhere but stuck here in this rocky prison far from the places familiar to me. I took solace in knowing that all this distance had brought me to her. Did she enjoy the mountains? From the handful of times I’d slipped in and out of her thoughts, I was almost certain she preferred the refreshing moisture of the sea, like me.
Though she was not yet mine, I had a potential mate, and I let the hopeful shiver of the bond overpower me until I could no longer control myself. I turned to meet her gaze—I had to see her emerald eyes. To see if she had accepted me, or if she still looked at me with misdirected disgust.
When I turned, her eyes locked with mine and I felt seen by her, well and truly seen for the first time. There were no hints of judgment or displeasure, instead she exuded admiration and awe. Surrounded by the others, we lacked any privacy, but in the brief moments that passed, it felt completely exclusive, just us two.
When she moved to take the spot next to me, my hands began to tremble with nerves, and yet I was the one who gave her a reassuring nod. When her wings splayed, I worried that she heard the audible hitch in my breathing.
The beauty of the greens with iridescent hints of yellow and gold had me awestruck. I looked at her often, probably more than she ever noticed. Someone with more subtlety might have passed them off as stolen glances, but mine were unashamed and intentional. Occasionally, she’d meet them, glaring back in defiance. It was amusing and adorable. But out on the ledge, standing next to one another with our wings on display, there was only desire. She had destroyed me, and she had no idea.
Fideli C?ur . In the old tongue, this referred to the way two bonded mates’ connection was more than physical; it was also mental. It was like an invisible cord between two souls, allowing one another to speak with their hearts and minds, without the need for words.
Saryn considered whether it would be a tactical advantage, but decided two people with loyalties that deep would cause more problems than they solved. His reaction to the ability only mates can achieve and how quickly he breezed past the discussion of it told me everything I needed to know and confirmed all my fears. It was obvious this wasn’t the kind of place two people get to know one another, let alone fall in love. Since being conscripted to the Order, it was abundantly clear that our loyalty was to the king first and each other second.
It didn’t matter if Cress knew or if we ever tied our bonds. It was impossible to ignore my feelings for her. I would always put her first. In a room of one hundred Fae, I would always seek her out before any others. I would fulfill my duty to Aeon and the Order, but she would remain firmly at the forefront of my mind.
This was another reason why I wished I could get her out of here and free of these obligations. It was dangerous for both of us to be here, but it was even more dangerous for me, knowing that this bond compelled me to protect her at all costs. I feared the day this would be put to the test.
I kept an eye on Cress, whether she knew it or not. That night, I heard the creaking sound of doors and footsteps in the hallway, far past any hour one should be awake. I peeked my head out of my door, trying to look inconspicuously into the hallway at whoever was roaming about Basdie. When I saw Trace trailing quietly behind Cress, I felt my breath leave my chest in a rush.
I found myself gripping the wooden door frame so tightly that it was beginning to crack against my grasp. My skin warmed with anger and…jealousy. I wanted to follow them and spoil their meeting with an unexpected interruption, but I knew my actions would be foolish.
Maybe they weren’t meeting to rekindle anything? Could they simply be trying to find some way out of the Order? It’s not like any of us actually wanted to be here. If that was the case, I’d murder Trace for putting her in harm’s way. Basdie was magically warded, of that I was certain. If he encouraged her to participate in some scheme to escape and she ended up injured, or worse, I’d have his head.
Though I could tell Basdie was beginning to harden her, she was still so impressionable. She’d probably do whatever he asked of her. I resolved to step back into my quarters and read a book to distract myself. It was nearly impossible. My chest was heavy with anxiety, and thoughts of them together, alone, doing anything, weighed on me. Patience, I reminded myself.
When I saw Cress run full speed for the ledge of the flight deck and take the plunge to chase after Nori, I felt compelled to follow her. Saryn commanded the rest of us to stay put. As the sensation of the bond dwindled with the reduced proximity to her, I became overrun with nerves and concern for her well-being.
This was the first time we had been far enough apart that I couldn’t feel her since having arrived at Basdie. If we were bonded, it would be different, but since she barely acknowledged my existence, we were far from it.
It seemed like forever until, thank the Gods, she arrived back on the flight deck looking disheveled and exasperated. Surprisingly, Nori had returned safely with her, but she looked like a Fae possessed. I listened as Cress stood her ground to Saryn and Theory, spewing defiant words and pleading Nori’s case. A plea for us all to accept her trespass and the terms of her involvement in the Order. No one else had been granted any accommodations, and it seemed unlikely they’d be honored either.
I admired her courage and conviction. When no one else would step forward, I chose to be the first. It wasn’t for Nori. It was an olive branch to Cress. She had built up such a wall between us, I had to try anything to soften it. Witnessing her relief when I offered my alliance brought me contentment. She had no idea how much I wanted to take her side, be by her side, if only she’d let me.
Spending time in the healing waters at the deepest parts of Basdie was probably the only thing allowing me to cope with being separated from the sea. Each time I visited, it brought me back from the edge of insanity. I missed my sister, my mother, and my ship. My skin was dry and scaly, and my gills were irritated from the altitude, leagues from the nearest shoreline. In the solitude of the water, I’d often find myself humming or singing the songs of my people, the shanties that stirred the Seafarers to work in unison or the dirges that lamented shipmates and soulmates passed on into the next life. It had become a nervous habit to help the anxiety recede, but it worked.
To say I was surprised and serendipitously pleased when Cress happened upon me one evening would be an understatement. She tried to pass off her intrusion as an accident, and before she could make a swift exit, I welcomed her to join me.
The last time I’d seen the stunning curves of her body was beneath soaked garments in the Bath of the Four Mothers. I tried to hide how pleased I was at the sight of her stripping down, but it was hopeless. Gods, was she stunning.
As she placed herself across from me to soak, I felt the ripple of the bond strengthen. Something about the water, her proximity, and possibly the lack of others around to interfere made the sensation undeniable. I wondered if her body responded the same way, if her fingertips burned with anticipation and her senses sharpened. I dared not ask, for fear she would discover the meaning behind my question. If something was indeed stirring beneath her porcelain skin, she was either unaware or intent on ignoring it.
She swallowed her pride and thanked me for stepping forward on Nori’s behalf. Before I could calculate my words, I stupidly replied that it was for her then quickly recovered my remark by adding that it was the right thing to do. When she opened the door for me to share more about myself, I took the opportunity, as I may not get many others. If this was the encounter where she was finally going to talk to me openly, then I’d embrace it.
I had hoped to find a connection, and found an unexpected one given our rare commonality that we were both twins. In my case, triplets, reduced to twins by a hostile act. I couldn’t hide from the truth of my situation. Not when she knew what it was like to have that kind of heightened bond with a sibling. There was no defending my father. He was terrible, by all accounts. Murdering my infant brother was just the start of his brutality. Telling her was only risking she’d further correlate his vile behavior to me, but she had to know I was not my father, not even close.
Taking my sister’s place as the Offering wasn’t something I had even needed to think about. She and my mother had suffered long enough at the hands of my father. I did think about how strange it was, the order of events. Had I not stepped in for her, I would have never met Cress. I’d have gone my entire existence without laying eyes on my mate. Occasionally, I had let myself wonder if this was exactly how it was all meant to be.
I could have stayed and talked to her all night in the comforts of the warm water, but I reminded myself to be patient. Tonight was one small step. She let me in and I, her. There would be more of this; I would forge my own path into her heart and let her see the real me. She would know my truth one way or another. Then she’d have to be the one to reconcile the undeniable predicament of our intertwined fate.
As I made my exit, I turned to say in the old tongue, “Tomorrow. Same time. Same place, Moirai.” I knew very well she had no idea I was calling her the very thing I’d longed to since the moment we met.
Cress was clearly the diplomat of our group. I watched as she single-handedly persuaded Cairis to train Nori. Their size difference was amusing. This left Cress without a sparring partner. When she eyed me from across the room, she had already accepted the inevitability of training with me as she made her way to my position on the floor.
By now, I knew Cress was a worthy sparring partner. She had nearly eviscerated Saryn in their exhibition, and it brought a smile to my face each time I recalled the surprise and fear on the instructor’s face, her sword poised at his belly. I also knew Theory would realize if I was pulling my punches when it came time to face Cress. Still, I had convinced myself I could act overly aggressive at the onset, initiating conflict before Cress had a minute to get her bearings, then ease into a pattern of parrying her attacks afterward.
When I swiped her feet out from underneath her, she fumed on the ground beneath me. She was actually quite cute when she was angry, I just hated being the one it was directed at. It was more fun to watch her take it out on Cairis or the others. I took a few swings in her direction. Some I allowed her to dodge, but others she danced around and under with an impressive display of skill. She was trying, so I tried harder.
The feeling of her legs wrapped around me and her chest pressed hard against my back was an unwanted distraction. This was not how I wanted to feel her body against mine for the first time. I flipped her over abruptly, and again she spit her venomous retort at me just before she shoved her heel directly into my groin. This cheap move had me bent over and heaving for air in between coughs. This was not how I had wanted the first time she touched me there to feel, either. Not even close.
She continued her assault on me, and when I twisted her tightly into my arms, I held her there while she writhed for freedom. I whispered a taunt in the old tongue, knowing it would only incite her further. Someone not as attuned to her as I was would have fallen for her next move. But I caught her with my hand and grasped it tightly around her neck.
She was trapped. There was no way she could beat me, not without magic, but Theory’s class was about physical skill not abilities. I squeezed a little tighter, indicating she should yield. I was trying to offer her the same out she had given Saryn, but she did not flinch. I watched as her eyes began to water and blood rushed to her face. From the corner of my vision, I saw Theory give me a nod of approval, indicating I was not to give in until Cress forfeited.
I hated every minute of this. My strong, resilient girl, please just give in, don’t make me do this. I squeezed tighter and shoved her back against the podium, hoping she would take it as a warning and yield. I watched as she doubled her resolve, even as her lungs spasmed, and I could feel her pulse struggle beneath my grip. I commanded her to yield, begging her to swallow her pride and do as I asked, but she wouldn’t waver. I could see her lashes begin to flutter with loss of consciousness when suddenly I heard the sound of Trace yelling, “Let her go!” as his knuckle struck my cheek and caused me to drop Cress to the ground.
I returned to the baths that night, unsure if Cress would ever feel comfortable being alone with me again. I felt terrible about how things had transpired during training. I should have known better. Trace’s brutality all but confirmed his will to possess her. It wasn’t chivalry. He’d taken Gia to the mat many times and never so much as blinked at the bruises he left on either her or Theory. He could not stand to watch me touch her. At least the outburst was in front of everyone. They saw it with their own eyes, their silent concern corroborating our suspicions. Some made it more obvious than others.
When I asked her why she hadn’t just yielded, her angry words flowed out of her mouth like they had longed to be free for days. We were finally going to have it out. I had vowed to myself to never tell the truth about what had really happened to my father and how he was captured, but that was before these circumstances. My past, her past…none of it mattered anymore. Who was I protecting by keeping it a secret? I was so tired of bearing the brunt of her prejudices.
For the rest of my life, I would grapple with the decisions I made, how I put my mother and sister first before the lives of strangers. We argued back and forth, and I only hesitated for a few seconds before I told her my biggest secret.