Trick of Light (The Sutton Book Club 2)

Chapter 9

It was difficult for Bethany to piece together the events of that horrible day. Nick had come home belligerent, drunk himself into a stupor, and disappeared into his office—and she’d hardly seen him since. Due to her incredibly difficult surgery schedule, Bethany was forced to ask for far more help from Amanda than she was accustomed to. She kept herself focused on her patients, knowing that when everything was squared away at work, she would be left with the mess of her family life. And that terrified her.

Three days after Nick returned home from the mysterious incident at the hospital, Bethany met with the ten-year-old girl she’d operated on to go over the results and talk about the next steps. The surgery had been a success, and the little girl’s mother sobbed openly as Bethany reminded the girl of how brave she’d been. “You stayed with it. You stayed so confident and positive.” The little girl thanked her and said, “I never want to come back to the hospital again!”

Bethany laughed and blinked back tears. She wished all of her patients could go home the way this one could. She wished Joel had been able to, too.

Bethany went to the break room to dig through the fridge for her salad. It was blocked by numerous lunch boxes, mini yogurts, and slices of string cheese. When she turned around, a few other nurses and doctors entered the break room to congratulate her on the little girl’s recovery.

“You’re the master,” Hannah, one of the nurses, said.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” Bethany assured her. Hannah was one of her favorite nurses, incredibly organized and “with it” at the operating table.

“We should go out to eat,” Dr. Stevens suggested, wrinkling his nose at the salad she’d brought from home. “When was the last time you celebrated?”

Bethany laughed and waved her hand. “It’s not necessary.” She felt far away from celebrating. Not her. Not now, when her husband was practically a stranger, and her mother-in-law belittled her at every turn.

“Come on, Bethy,” Hannah said. “You have to celebrate your wins. They put you in charge of this hospital for a reason, you know. And I don’t think you ever celebrated that, either.”

Bethany hadn’t felt able to celebrate that win, as it meant rubbing her victory into Nick’s face. This was supposed to be his position.

But Nick hadn’t been back to work since “the incident.” And now that Bethany had gotten through two surgeries and learned that the little girl would fully recover, she felt ready to peer over the proverbial veil and learn the truth.

And what better way to learn the truth about Nick than by gossiping with her colleagues over lunch?

“All right,” Bethany said, returning her salad to the fridge. “Let’s go out.”

Dr. Reggie Stevens, Hannah, the nurse, and Dr. Gretchen Walters agreed to head to the local strip mall for Chili’s. It had been a long time since Bethany had eaten something so sinful, but she decided to indulge in onion rings and a big, greasy burger. As a doctor, she knew that moderation was key. She’d eaten enough salads for one week. And something was to be said about the healing properties of an enormous basket of onion rings dipped in a tangy yellow sauce.

They ordered beers because it was four in the afternoon, and none of them had to return to the hospital today. They clinked their glasses together, the hair on their arms raised in the air conditioner. Bethany inspected their faces, waiting for one of them to burst with news of what Nick had done. It was clear they all knew. She could feel the gossip bubbling around the hospital. Due to respect for Bethany’s position, the news hadn’t gotten to her yet.

But it was time to probe.

“All right,” Bethany said, putting down her glass of beer and clasping her hands together. “It’s time to tell me.”

Hannah, Reggie, and Gretchen exchanged nervous glances.

“Come on,” Bethany urged, “I know you’re dying to tell me. It’s been all over the hospital since Monday.”

In the silence, her heart surged with apprehension. She recalled that party in 2012 when friends had mentioned Nick’s “numerous” mistakes. Nick’s father had always covered them up. How many times had that happened in the previous twelve years? How often had Dr. Bob Waterstone drawn the curtain over Nick’s tendencies?

Now that Bethany had taken Dr. Bob Waterstone’s position, was she expected to shove Nick’s mistakes under the rug? Was she supposed to pretend he was the hospital”s best surgeon?

The alcohol was already going to Bethany’s head. “My husband won’t talk to me,” she said, trying to smile at her friends and assure them they won’t get into trouble for telling the truth. “He won’t come out of his office. I’m basically a single mother right now until I figure out how to get him through this.”

Hannah winced. Bethany regretted being so vulnerable with people who worked under her. She was supposed to be in charge. Then again, this was her reality. Maybe it was better to be open about it.

“We all know that Nick can be a bit, erm, clumsy in the operating room,” Reggie began delicately.

Bethany flared her nostrils. “Of course.” Her heartbeat pounded in her ears. She had to be brave. “I’ve made mistakes before. We all have.”

Reggie and Hannah locked eyes. Hannah shrugged.

“This time was different from the other times,” Hannah explained.

“Different, how?” Bethany asked.

“I don’t think you want to know,” Hannah said simply.

“I need to know,” Bethany said. “I mean, I have to figure out his future. I have to decide whether he’s actually a viable staff member.”

Reggie gave her a strange look. Bethany knew they didn’t think she was strong enough to fire her husband.

This was why she hadn’t wanted to work with Nick in the first place. Her instincts back in her twenties and thirties had been correct. But when she’d been offered the gig, she’d jumped at it. It was the pinnacle of her career.

When the food arrived, Reggie, Hannah, and Gretchen chatted about other hospital gossip as Bethany dropped deeper in her chair and nibbled onion rings. As she crunched and cleaned up her hands, then greased them up all over again, she ran through the conversations she’d had with Nick regarding his upcoming surgeries. The final talks they’d had before he refused to talk to anyone.

And then, a realization thudded in her gut.

Recently, Nick had told her he had a problem with one of his patients. Bethany had seen a solution easily and told him what to do. She’d seen it as her duty—both as his boss and as his wife.

But what if whatever Bethany had told him to do hadn’t worked? What if Nick wasn’t talking to her because her suggestion had led to something horrible?

“The patient,” Bethany blurted, interrupting them, “did they make it?”

There was an awkward pause. Hannah sighed.

“He made it,” she explained, “but it took a bit of an intervention from Reggie. It was touch and go for a while. I guess that’s when Nick left the hospital in a panic.”

“I should tell him that the patient made it,” Bethany said. “I’m sure he’d want to know.”

Hannah raised her shoulders, then turned as the server hurried past. She ordered another light beer for herself, talking about the tremendous stress of that week. Bethany knew most of that stress was Nick’s fault.

Or maybe—was it actually Bethany’s fault?

After they finished lunch, Reggie, Gretchen, and Hannah headed home. Bethany remained in the parking lot of the restaurant and then returned to grab a seat at the bar. It was five thirty at Chili’s, and parents and young children streamed in for platters of nachos and half-off margaritas. Bethany ordered a margarita with chunks of salt on the rim and rubbed her temples, thinking about her conversation with Nick. What if this was all her fault? What if she’d nearly killed Nick’s patient and put Nick’s career on the line?

All the while, she’d assumed Nick was in the wrong here. But was that arrogance? Amanda had often warned her about that. “You’re a woman in a man’s world,” she’d said, “and you have to keep yourself aware of hubris. Nobody respects an arrogant woman.”

As Bethany sipped her margarita, she removed her phone from her purse and sent a text to Nick.

BETHANY: Hey, honey. How are you feeling?

When he didn’t answer, she wrote again.

BETHANY: Do you think we could talk soon? I’m worried about you.

Alongside that, of course, she was worried about her career. Another thought had sprung up—a horrible one. One that involved Nick’s arrogance and his anger at being passed over for his father’s job.

If Nick had really followed Bethany’s instructions in the operating room, there was no reason he wouldn’t throw her under the bus to move up the ranks. Nick was still a Waterstone, and she was still a woman in a man’s world. She couldn’t be sure what would happen.

They’d been married for years. They’d had three children. But ultimately, Nick was Bob’s son. Like any man, he wanted to make his father proud.

It was his weakness.

Bethany’s gut swirled with panic. She downed the rest of her margarita, watching her phone for a message from Nick. Instead, she got several from Phoebe, who wrote them from Amanda’s phone. She sent photographs of Maddie and Tommy and her drawings from that afternoon. There was another of Amanda’s little fuzzy terrier, who’d once bit Bethany’s ankle. It”s not her favorite animal. That was for sure.

After she ordered another margarita, she tried Nick again.

BETHANY: Please, Nick. I’m so worried about you.

But there was no answer. Maybe Nick could sense her fear? Maybe he was already talking to his father about a strategy, explaining that Bethany had been in the wrong. Maybe they’d already called a divorce lawyer. A medical lawyer. Maybe, by next week, Bethany would be out on the street.

Bethany filled her lungs and raised her chin to watch a baseball game on the overhead television. Before Victor left Nantucket, he’d taken her and Rebecca to several baseball games, hoping they’d take up softball someday. Eventually, Joel fell in love with baseball, and Victor had dreamed of having a real, prosperous athlete in the family. Bethany had only done sports for her college application. Her heart had never been in the game.

When Bethany had first told Nick about Joel, she’d expected him to run away. She’d expected him to be freaked out by her intensity.

Why had he stayed? Why had he married her? Why had they had three children?

Amanda texted to say she wanted to keep the children overnight. “Nick needs time to himself,” she explained, as though she still knew her son better than Bethany ever could.

Maybe she did, Bethany thought.

As she downed the rest of her margarita, her phone buzzed with another text from an unknown number. This was strange. Bethany kept her number under wraps, as she was a sought-after surgeon in a big city—and desperate people in terrible pain were apt to reach out to her and beg her to help them immediately. She needed to rely on the systems in place. She needed to respect her own schedule for the sake of her family and sanity.

UNKNOWN NUMBER: Hey. I’m sorry to write to you like this. It’s been years—far longer than I would like to admit. But it’s important. Would you be up for a phone call this week? There’s something important that I need to talk to you about. Let me know.

UNKNOWN NUMBER: It’s Rod, by the way. I should have opened with that.

Bethany’s heart thudded. She felt outside of her body. Her phone fell from the counter and bounced across the floor of Chili’s until one of the servers set down a big basket of chips and picked it up for her. “Good thing you had a case on it!” she said. “Not a single crack.” Bethany just blinked at her. She felt her nerves escalate.