Chapter 34
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
RORY
“You cannot just slink off home, Rory.” Mac rolled her eyes, her arms crossed over her chest.
The last straggler had finally left the party about an hour ago, and I was exhausted. After the day I’d had, I just wanted a hot bath and my bed. “I’m pretty sure I can.”
“Your sister’s right, sugar,” Gran said as she nibbled on a plate of leftover snacks. “You did all this work—you deserve to celebrate.”
“I did celebrate. That was the whole point of the party.”
“No, what you did was refill the food a million times, topped off everyone’s drinks, corralled your girls and refereed their fights, and made sure everyone else celebrated,” Mac said dryly. “Just like every other freakin’ party.”
And at every other party, no one had ever had an issue with me going home at the end of the night. No one had ever demanded I go out for a second celebration. But suddenly now, when my very sanity rested on escaping to my own damn house to find some peace, it was an issue? I’d clearly done something to piss off Karma.
“It sounds like a lovely time, and I’m sure y’all’ll have fun,” I said. “But I’ve got the girls tonight, and it’s already after ten.” Not only past their bedtime, but also well past the cutoff time for patrons under the age of twenty-one to enter The Willow Tree.
“Daddy and I can take the girls while y’all go enjoy yourselves.” Momma smoothed a hand up and down my back and smiled at me. “Your sister and Gran are right. You deserve a little break. You’ve been workin’ on this for days, not countin’ all the plannin’ leadin’ up to it.”
“I’m not takin’ no for an answer, sugar,” Gran said, her eyebrow raised as if challenging me to try it.
“Y’all comin’ or what?” Nat yelled from across the yard where she stood with Will, Finn, and Nash. “I’m itchin’ to see this fancy new place, and God knows I need a fucking drink after this long in Havenbrook.”
Momma sighed, closed her eyes, and shook her head. “She’s lucky her daddy’s already inside,” she mumbled. Then louder, “Did you misplace your tact on your travels, Nat?”
“Sorry, Momma, but you know me and tact aren’t really friends.”
Nash said something to Nat then, too low for me to hear, and Nat tipped her head back in a booming laugh. My chest tightened in response—the same reaction I’d been having all day and night as I’d watched my sister and Nash chum it up, talking and telling inside jokes and holding each other up through their laughter.
I hadn’t had a moment alone since I’d gotten that first glimpse of Nat across the yard. Which meant I hadn’t been able to work through any of the bubbling emotions this day had dredged up. But, yeah, sure, why not go hang out with my sister who couldn’t stand me and the man I was sleeping with in secret and get a front row seat to their obvious connection?
“Y’all go on now,” Momma said. “The girls are already crashed out on the sofas inside anyway. You can pick ’em up in the mornin’.” She turned to me and patted my cheek. “Enjoy yourself, sweetheart.”
Mac hooked her arm through mine and tugged me out of our momma’s hold. “There’ll be a never-endin’ glass of wine for you. I’ll make sure of it.”
“Better be something a whole lot stronger than wine,” I muttered as I stared at the retreating forms of Nash and Nat.
His arm was hooked around my sister’s neck as they strolled toward his truck. Nat looked up at him through her laughter, and my stomach sank even further. The two of them just…fit.
Nash and I were a lot of things—volatile and combustible and explosive. And I’d known from the beginning that we didn’t make sense together.
What I hadn’t known was just how bad it’d hurt to realize he and my sister did.
An hour later, I was still desperate to go home. The Willow Tree wasn’t huge by any means, which meant that no matter where I stood, Nat’s laughter followed me. The sound inevitably caught my attention, and I would glance over to spy a glimpse of my youngest sister surrounded by throngs of friends. Nash and Drew and Nola. Will and Finn and a dozen other people who hadn’t seen Nat in years, all of them smiling and enjoying every minute of being in her presence.
But that was Nat. She was a freaking magnet, drawing people in, and she’d always been like that. I was just buzzed enough to admit—at least to myself—that I’d always been a little jealous of that because that gene had skipped right over me. Sure, I could gain a crowd’s attention, and I had no trouble getting people to listen to me and do my bidding if I so chose. But that had more to do with my ability to command a room than it did with any ounce of charisma.
“Dang, girl, you need another one already?” Mac asked, lifting her chin toward my drink.
I glanced down at my empty glass. No, I absolutely should not get another one—I’d already had three—but the alcohol had been a passable bandage for the current shitshow that was my life. It’d dulled the emotions ricocheting through me. Had numbed the tightness in my chest and settled the swarm of bees in my stomach that’d kept me company all day. “You promised to keep my drink filled.”
“So I did.” Not bothering to try to catch Nola’s attention to get a refill, Mac slipped around behind the bar to mix me another drink. “You wanna tell me what’s goin’ on?”
I lifted my eyes to meet Mac’s. “Well, I’m here only because you made me come, and I’d like to go home now.”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.” Mac leveled me with a pointed stare.
Oh no. No . Nope. No way. I was not going there. And definitely not while we were in a public place. And most certainly not while I was this close to say-way-too-much drunk.
“’Fraid I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”
“Okay, well, how far back should we go so I can refresh your memory?”
“Mac, don’t—” I started, but my words got swallowed by the too-loud college-aged girls who sat down next to me at the crowded bar.
“Nash’s so damn hot,” Blondie slurred.
The redhead nodded vigorously as she sucked up the last remnants of her bright-green drink. “ Truth . He could have a wife and three kids at home, but if he came knockin’ on my door again, I’d let him bang me like a screen door in a hurricane.”
“You’re so bad!” Blondie chortled, then froze, her eyes going wide as she squeezed Redhead’s forearm. “Wait, what do you mean ‘ again ’?”
“I never told you about that?”
“Uh, no . Spill!”
“Last year, right after this place opened, I came to check it out. I was really drunk, and he offered to take me home, and, well— Oh! I love this song!” Redhead yelled, then pulled her friend to the middle of the small dance floor.
Well, that was just great. Of course, I’d known Nash hadn’t been celibate before me, and it wasn’t something I spent much time thinking or worrying about—after all, I had a history too. But knowing he’d obviously slept with other women, and having those other women’s perky boobs thrown right in my face were two totally different things. Sort of hard not to compare my mom-of-two body, complete with a map of stretch marks and an extra twenty pounds I’d never managed to lose after Ella to their youthful perfection.
The redhead—the one who’d apparently already bedded Nash—was a stunner. Not someone I recognized, so probably from a neighboring town. Long, auburn waves fell down her sleek back, bared in her low-cut shirt. Of course she could wear something like that sans bra—she hadn’t breastfed two babies. I dared to walk around home without a bra on, but I wouldn’t dream of going out in public like that, even on my deathbed. And the girl’s ass? I hadn’t ever been that tiny or perfect.
“Um, nope,” Mac said. “We’re not goin’ there. I’m gonna cut you off if you’re headed down Mope Street.”
I couldn’t take my gaze off the dancing girls as I catalogued every thing that was perfect about them and compared it with all my flaws. “I’m not mopin’. I’m just…thinkin’.”
“Mhmm, thinkin’ about how you stack up to those two.”
“They’re nearly half my age.”
“With half your IQ. Nash would never go for anyone who didn’t challenge him. And that girl, bless her heart, but she’s so dumb, if she threw herself at the floor, she’d miss.”
A startled laugh flew out of me, and I twisted back to face Mac. It wasn’t until I noticed Mac’s raised eyebrows that the rest of what she’d said registered. Nash. She’d specifically said Nash .
I gasped, my hands flying to my mouth. “You knew ?”
Mac lifted a single shoulder. “Course I knew. Will would, too, if she didn’t have Finn attached to her face every second of the day.”
I rested my elbows on the bar, dropped my head into my hands, and groaned. “For how long?”
“I had my suspicions that day he stopped by town hall, but I didn’t know for sure until I saw your reaction after listenin’ to those bitches at the store.”
“Don’t remind me.” Was it really any wonder I needed a break? Hearing I had no hope of keeping Nash, finding out my ex-husband proposed to my former best friend, being hit on by the father of the guy I was sleeping with, and having the sister who wouldn’t so much as return a text suddenly show up? Certainly no one expected me to be rock solid after the wringer I’d been put through in the past thirty-six hours.
“They were talkin’ outta their asses,” Mac said.
“Which ones?”
“All of ’em.”
That was easy for her to say—she wasn’t on the receiving end of it. And even if she were, there was no way her confidence would be shaken. She was as solid as they came, completely and utterly comfortable in her own skin.
“Bye, y’all!” Nat yelled from where she stood by the door. “It’s been real, but I hope I don’t see y’all again for years.”
Laughter sounded around the bar as I glanced over, my gaze locking immediately with Nash’s. He stared at me, something I couldn’t decipher passing through his eyes, before Nat snagged his attention once again. He glanced down at her and nodded, and I forced myself to turn away.
I couldn’t watch them leave together. Not after the day I’d had. Despite my husband fucking my best friend, I wasn’t under the impression that Nash would do something so cruel as to sleep with my sister. Even so, that didn’t stop the pit from forming in my stomach.
He meshed so perfectly with Nat—everything between them was easy and fluid, not rife with complications and roadblocks. They didn’t bicker, didn’t argue. They just were .
How could I possibly expect to compete with that level of chemistry? I couldn’t, and I didn’t even know why I’d tried. Those women I had overheard in the store were right—I didn’t stand a chance in hell of holding his attention in the short term. Never mind the long term that I’d started to crave.
“I think I’m gonna go.” I slipped off the barstool and shouldered my purse. Needed to go, actually. I’d held it together for hours, and I was pretty damn close to losing it.
“No…stay. Don’t let those girls run you outta here,” Mac said.
“They’re not.” I held up a hand at the skeptical look Mac shot me. “Swear.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You don’t have to, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m still leavin’.”
“Fine, I’ll drive you.”
“No, I?—”
“Hello, my beautiful sisters!” Will rested her forearms on the bar top next to me and leaned forward, her eyes glazed and her smile a little too wide—a sure sign she was well past tipsy. “Nash is havin’ a couple people over to the warehouse. Finn and I were gonna head over. Y’all wanna come?”
I dropped my gaze to my feet so I wouldn’t be tempted to seek him out. I couldn’t look at them again, not right now.
“For fuck’s sake, Will, read the damn room,” Mac snapped.
Will glanced around, confusion on her face. “What do you mean? This room?”
I waved my hand through the air as if swatting away Mac’s concerns. “It’s nothing. Y’all go and have fun. I’m pretty beat, so I’m gonna head home.”
“It’s not nothing, Rory, and stop pretendin’ it is. This is us you’re talkin’ to. If you can’t be real with us, who can you be real with?”
My breath caught in my throat as my mind conjured up the answer without hesitation. Nash. I could be real with Nash—I had been real with Nash. The thought brought a sudden rush of tears to my eyes, my throat burning as I tried desperately to hold them back. I couldn’t cry here. I wouldn’t .
Mac took one look at me and gave a brisk nod. “Let’s go. We can sneak out the back.”
“What’s happenin’?” Will asked. “Y’all headed to Nash’s?”
“I know you’re drunk, so I’m gonna give you a little leeway here, but open your damn eyes, girl! If you spent more than five minutes detached from Finn’s mouth, you’d see that our sister needs us. Rory .” Mac waved a hand in my direction. “The one who never needs anything needs us now.”
Will turned wide, questioning eyes on me, but I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t open my mouth to tell Will I was fine. That Mac was blowing this all out of proportion. That everything was going to be okay. Because it wasn’t. Everything absolutely wasn’t going to be okay, and if I said even one word, I’d break.
I’d break because in my heart I knew what needed to be done.
I was already in too deep with Nash, and it was going to hurt no matter what. But if I cut ties now, I might be able to walk away with the majority of my heart still intact. There was no doubt it’d be painful, and I’d have myself a few good cries over letting him go. I might not have been torn up over my marriage ending, but I knew, without a doubt, if I went down that path with Nash, I wouldn’t be quite so lucky.
Better to end it now rather than down the line when I’d be ripped to shreds over our demise.
Will must’ve read something in my gaze, because she nodded once. “Okay, let’s go.”
And that was it. They marched me straight out the back door of The Willow Tree without a backward glance. Who knew it’d take me crumpling completely for me to feel that connection with my sisters I’d craved for so long?
My entire life, I’d been the strong one. The one who solved problems and got shit done and did it all with a smile on my face. But now…? Today? I didn’t want to be the strong one. I wanted someone else to hold me up, just for a little while.
Because of that, I didn’t shrug off Will’s arm around my waist or Mac’s around my shoulders as they ushered me toward Mac’s car. I didn’t push Will away when she sat in the back seat with me, holding my hand and studying me the entire ride back to Mac’s place. I didn’t even try to stem the tears that leaked from my eyes in a near-constant stream.
My heart was breaking over what needed to be done, but my sisters were here. Maybe the fall wouldn’t be so bad.