5. The devil is in my house.
Chapter 5
The devil is in my house.
Amelia
M y family is crazy. There’s no other way to put it than that.
My brothers are loud and obnoxious while my parents … well, I’m not really sure how to explain them. Oblivious might be a good word.
I love my family—I really do—but they can be a little hard to take sometimes. Especially when we’re talking about business and finances.
I can’t tell if my parents really are this clueless about how bad things are for them or if it’s all an act. I’m not even sure which reality is worse.
They ran, not one, but two companies into financial ruin. Then drained their life savings to keep them afloat. If they really are as clueless as they act, then it’s hard to blame them for the mess Jason and I inherited.
How can I be mad at someone who just didn’t know what they were doing?
But I have a hard time believing in that reality. My parents aren’t stupid. They managed the businesses fine for decades and built one hell of a nest egg to retire on.
If the documents I got my hands on are correct, they were millionaires. I can’t even imagine what that kind of money looks like. And it makes me sick to think about how they’ve lost it all.
I can’t for the life of me figure out why they’re choosing to ignore their failures now?
“Did you hire that guy I sent to see you?” Dad asks Jason with a mouth full of food.
I press my hand to my stomach and take a deep breath. I don’t actually see him chewing, but I hear it. That’s all it takes to make my stomach churn. Everything makes my stomach churn these days.
“Dad,” Jason says, dragging out the word. He sounds just as exhausted as I feel. Trying to save the family businesses is draining the life out of both of us. “We don’t have the money to take on more staff. I’ve told you this. I can’t hire anyone else until we’re out of danger.”
“What are you talking about, boy?” Dad frowns. “The only thing in danger is your sanity. You let too many people go when you took over. A lumberyard needs employees. You can’t keep working this hard.”
I swallow back the snort that threatens to come out. All Jason and I have done since taking over the family businesses is work too hard. We don’t have a choice if we want to save them.
Glancing around at my brothers, I’m grateful that they seem to have the same expressions on their faces. We all stare at Dad like he’s lost his mind.
“We didn’t have the money for payroll.” Jason insists. “Still don’t. It’s getting better, but it’s gonna take more time.”
“If you need money,” Linden says. “Let me know. I’ll find it for you.”
Jason shakes his head, and I furrow my brows. What the hell is that supposed to mean?
“I’m managing it,” is all Jason says in reply.
I stare at Linden, but his expression gives away nothing. He’s acting like what he said is the most normal thing in the world. Like he has millions sitting around to hand out to his family.
“How are you going to find money to staff a lumberyard?” I ask. “You’re an assistant school principal. Your salary can’t cover a business.”
Linden gives me a blank look and shrugs. Then he goes back to eating as if my question doesn’t warrant an answer. This is what they always do when I ask questions. They ignore me.
“How Linden?” I push. “For once, give me—”
“I’ve got money.” Tanner pipes in, cutting me off. “The gas station is doing really well. I can help.”
“The flower shop is making a profit now too,” Mom says. “I’m sure Lia would be happy to pitch in if you need it.”
“Mom!” My jaw drops and I feel my eyes widen into saucers. “I can’t afford to pay the lumberyard’s payroll. I’ve only just started turning a profit. We’re not out of the woods yet, either.”
“Maybe if you stop investing it into that online thing you’re so focused on.” Mom glares at me, and my stomach turns over. I feel like I’m going to be sick, and not just because I’m pregnant. This conversation is nauseating. “It’s a waste of time. It’s not going to last.”
“That online shop is the only reason we’re making a profit, Mom. If I shut that down, we’ll be out of business in less than a month.”
“Nonsense.” Mom lifts her glass of water and takes a sip, dismissing me. “I ran that business just fine for years without an online shop.”
“Maybe for a while, but you hadn’t turned a profit in over three years,” I say. “But it doesn’t really matter anymore, does it? It’s mine, and I make the business decisions.”
I immediately regret the words, and I wish I could take the entire statement back. But it’s too late. Mom’s expression has shifted from frustration to hurt. Dad and my brothers have stopped eating and they’re staring at me like I’ve grown a second head.
I may not take all the advice my parents give me, but I never disrespect them. Not like this.
“That’s no way to talk to your mother.” Dad growls and points his fork at me. “We can take it all back just as easily as we gave it to you. Don’t forget that.”
“Actually, no you can’t,” Jason says.
When I look at my brother, I struggle to hide the smile tugging at my lips. He’s leaning back in his chair with his arms folded across his chest like he doesn’t have a care in the world. To be honest, that’s Jason’s typical demeanor. But to stand up to our parents? That’s new.
Jason is usually the quiet one. He doesn’t make a fuss, goes along with the flow, and mostly ignores the feud with the Mutters. He’s the easy-going one of the family. No mess. No fuss. That’s Jason.
But to hear him refute Dad? That’s surprising and pleasing. It’s about time someone besides me says and does the right thing in this family.
“What was that?” Dad asks.
Jason shrugs and stares at Dad like he doesn’t care if he pisses him off. It’s almost as if he’s trying to start a fight, which is so unlike him. “You can’t take the businesses away from Lia and me. We are now the owners. You and Mom have no legal connection with them. Which means you can’t take them away just because you don’t like how we’re running them.”
“Well!” Mom gasps and presses her hand to her chest. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you two, but this is unacceptable.”
“All that matters is that the businesses are doing well,” Linden says. He glares at me like I’m to blame for everything that’s wrong with our family. I glare right back. I’m the one that’s held our parents together while my brothers run off and do God only knows what while starting more shit with the Mutters.
I may not be rich and solve things with money, but I’ve stayed here and made sure Mom and Dad didn’t fall apart when everything went to shit. My brothers will toss money at the problem, but they’re too busy to help manage Mom and Dad. That’s my job.
“A few more months, and I’m sure the lumberyard will be doing better than the flower shop,” Linden continues. “But my offer still stands. For both of you. You need money. You talk to me.”
There’s something about the look in Linden’s eyes that sends a chill down my spine. While he’s never been there to offer emotional support, he has always found money when we need it most.
I open my mouth to ask him how, but Tanner jumps in. “Maybe if you take our help you won’t have to sell flowers to the Mutters.”
I turn my glare on him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You sold all those flowers to that asshole for Grams’s birthday.” He clarifies. “You should’ve refused him.”
I cross my arms over my chest and narrow my glare at him. “You mean Christian?”
“Yeah, that asshole,” Tanner says as he points his fork at me. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
My nausea has been controllable all evening, but at the mention of Christian’s name, I feel like I’m going to barf on the table. I can’t tell if it’s the baby or anxiety making me feel sick.
Maybe it’s the unknown of what my family will do when they find out I’m pregnant with his baby, making me sick.
But I push it back and hold my ground. “If you think me selling him flowers is bad, then I guess you’re going to hate that I plan to attend Grams’s party.”
“Why the fuck would you do that?” Tanner growls.
“Watch your language,” Mom says.
I don’t back down. Sitting up straighter in my chair, I stare at my brother. “I was invited, and I’m going. You can’t stop me.”
“The hell we can’t,” Linden and Tanner say at the same time. Jason smirks like he’s amused.
“You are not going anywhere near a Mutter.” Linden points at me. His tone is reprimanding like he thinks he’s my father. I roll my eyes. “Those people cannot be trusted.”
“I don’t care about your little feud. The Mutters have never done anything to me.”
Except impregnate me.
“Little feud?” Linden barks and narrows his eyes. “Who are you? The Mutters are thieves. They don’t deserve to breathe the same air as us. The world would be a better place without them in it.”
His words hit me hard, and I press my hand to my stomach. One of those Mutters is growing inside me. Will he feel the same way about this baby? His niece or nephew.
My nausea intensifies as my emotions get the better of me. It comes on so fast that I hardly have time to cover my mouth and force it back.
“Excuse me?” I say as I push to my feet.
“Amelia?” I hear Mom call out my name, but I don’t respond. “Aaron, will you please check on her? She’s not been feeling well lately and refuses to call you.”
“I’m fine.” I say the words, but I don’t feel the least bit fine. I feel like I’m going to throw up.
“You look pale,” Aaron says. He’s been mostly silent tonight. While he supports the feud between our family and the Mutters, he mostly stays out of it, same as Jason. But if Linden or Tanner call on him for help, he always shows up.
“I said I’m fine!” I wave off their concern and head for the downstairs bathroom.
I make it to the bathroom just in time to shut the door and kneel in front of the toilet. I hope no one follows me. The last thing I need is for one of them to hear me vomiting. I’m not ready to explain this problem to them yet.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready, but I’m going to have to figure that out sooner rather than later.
I can’t control when I get nauseous. Morning sickness has a mind of its own. It has horrible timing and sneaks up on me at the most inconvenient times. It momentarily takes over my life and leaves me with little to no control until I empty my stomach.
Mom pays too close attention. She always has. She might drive us crazy sometimes, but she loves us immensely and has always been active in all our lives.
And she knows something isn’t right with me but hasn’t put it all together yet. When she does, she’s going to flip.
Then my brothers will hunt down Christian and do only God knows what to him. Hell, they’ll elevate this stupid feud to an outright war.
I can’t let that happen.
That’s tomorrow’s problem. Tonight, I just have to get through dinner.
I push to my feet and splash my face with cold water. It’s refreshing and makes me feel surprisingly better. After drying my face, I take a few deep breaths. I can’t stay in here long or it will only draw more suspicion.
Mom’s suspicious eyes on me are bad enough. The last thing I need is for my brothers to question me too.
But when I open the bathroom door, regret and anxiety consume me.
“You’re sick.” Badger’s deep voice reverberates through my chest. He always sounds threatening no matter the words he speaks.
“How I feel is not your concern.” I step into the hallway and attempt to move past him, but he grabs my arm.
He presses me to the wall and boxes me in with his other arm. He says something else, but the words don’t register. My heart rate increases and pounds so loudly, it’s all I can hear.
Squeezing my eyes closed, I focus on my breathing. It’s hard because every inch of my body is tense and all I can think about is the night he attacked me.
“Let me go,” I somehow manage. Or at least I think I get the words out. For all I know, I only thought about the words.
He leans down close until his nose brushes my cheek. Then he takes a deep breath. I cringe and tense up even more. There’s a voice inside me screaming at me to push him away, but I can’t get my arms to move. I’m paralyzed by fear. The fear that only exists in me because of him.
“Your guard dog’s not here to protect you. Not that you need protection. Not from me.”
“Get … get your … hands off me.” I squeeze my eyes tighter, hating how weak I sound. I am not weak, and I hate him even more than I ever thought possible for making me feel this way.
“I’m allowed to touch what’s mine.” There’s a sinister tone to his words that causes my blood to run cold. He loosens his grip on my arm and then runs his finger up it and around my neck. “We’ll be so good together. You’ll see. You just have to stop fighting this. I don’t want to hurt you. If you stop fighting, you’ll never get hurt.”
Memories of that horrible night flood to the surface of my mind. I try not to think about what he did, or what he would’ve done if Christian hadn’t interrupted him. But every time I see him, it’s impossible to keep those memories locked away.
“You will not hurt me.” Getting those words out without stuttering gives me strength. I square my shoulders and push against his chest. “I am not yours, and I will never be yours. Now let me go.”
The smile that covers his face makes my skin crawl. It sickens me and my nausea threatens to return. But I push on his chest again, and this time he steps back and releases me. But he doesn’t move from my path. I am still blocked in.
“I see you still need time to accept this. To accept our future,” he says. There’s a finality in his tone that is more threatening than anything else he’s ever said to me. “I’m a patient man, but at some point, that patience is going to wear thin. You’ve been promised to me, and I never give up on what’s mine.”
All the fear inside me dissipates and is replaced with anger. “I’m not yours. I’ve never promised myself to you, and I never will. I decide who I’m with. No one else.”
“We’ll see about that.” He lifts his hand like he’s going to touch my face, but I slap it away.
“Why do you fight this so hard?” He tilts his head to the side like he’s studying me. Like I’m a puzzle he doesn’t understand, but desperately wants to.
“Because I don’t like you. Never have and I never will.” Deciding I’ve had enough of this conversation, I push past him. But he grabs my arm and pulls me to his side.
“Watch it, Lia,” he whispers. “You’re—”
“Everything okay here?” Aaron’s voice surrounds me like a warm blanket, and I relax.
Badger whips his head around and smiles. This smile is the friendly one he reserves for everyone except me. It makes him look like a good guy. It’s the smile that’s fooled my entire family into thinking he’s good and kind and nice. This version of him is why my family pushes me to date him. And God forbid, marry him.
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” he says. “Lia didn’t look so good. I thought she was going to pass out.”
“I wasn’t going to pass out.” I jerk away from him and move toward Aaron. His eyes dart between Badger and me like he’s trying to decipher what he walked in on. I’d gladly tell him if I thought he would believe me.
“Mom asked me to check on you.” He studies me like I’m his patient, not his sister. “She said you’ve been acting off these past several days. She’s worried you’re coming down with something and working too hard.”
Oh, I’m coming down with something alright.
“I’m fine,” I say instead. “I just had to use the restroom.”
He holds my gaze for several seconds before he nods. “Okay. Just make sure you’re getting plenty of rest. You’ll need it if you want to keep growing the business and managing Mom.”
“I will. Thanks.” I lean in and give my brother a hug. “I’m going to get back to my dinner.”
“Just let me know if you need anything. I’m always here for you.”
“I know. And I—”
“Badger!” Linden says as he approaches. “When did you get here?”
Badger smiles at his best friend. “A few minutes ago. Lia didn’t look so well, so I was checking on her.”
Linden’s smile grows. “Always so attentive. You know, Lia. Badger would treat you so well. You two should go out sometime. I’d love nothing more than to see you two together.”
“All she has to do is say yes,” Badger says. He sounds and looks like every mother’s dream date for her daughter. But I know the truth. I see past his fake smile and demeanor.
Badger is the devil that I can’t escape.
I stiffen next to Aaron, and he notices. I feel his eyes on me. “Come on, Lia,” he says as he wraps his arm around my shoulder. “Let’s get you back to the table. Get some food in you. I think your sugar level has dropped.”
It’s a lie. I can hear it in his tone. He sees how uncomfortable I am around Badger, and it feels like a blessing. Linden can’t see it. He refuses to understand why I reject Badger. He loves his friend and thinks he can do no wrong. If he only knew.
He wouldn’t believe me if I told him.
But Aaron picked up on something just now, so there’s hope I can end this nightmare soon.
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right,” I say, not ready to speak my truth.
I let Aaron lead me back to the kitchen, leaving Linden and Badger alone. But I can still hear them talking.
“Sorry, man,” Linden says. “I don’t know what’s wrong with her. I think Mom spoiled her too much.”
“It’s okay.” Badger sounds defeated, and it feeds my anger. This is why my family loves him so much. He’s such a great actor. “Maybe one day she’ll see how I feel about her.”
“Let’s hope.” Linden says. “Give her time. She’ll come around.”
I can’t stop the growl that comes out of me, and it makes Aaron laugh.
“You’re never going to come around where he’s concerned, are you?” he asks.
“Nope, not in this lifetime or the next.”