16. Starbound
STARBOUND
SARAH
I ’m up long past when Ulfar finally passes out, staring up at the skylight and thinking about my future. The cold, unfeeling stars twinkle back at me, oblivious to my plight. This is the last time I’ll see them. This is the last time I’ll lie in this bed.
Rolling over, I look at Ulfar one last time. His handsome face is relaxed in the peacefulness of slumber, and from this angle he looks almost like a statue of some ancient god. Outside of this cottage, he’s a powerful and intimidating warlord, but with me? He’s kind and gentle and the most caring man I’ve ever met.
Except he’s no man.
With a sigh, I wonder if I’ll ever find anyone like him again. He’s basically ruined me for human men at this point, but the galaxy is large. Maybe one day I can save up and come back. Or visit another planet in the system. One where I won’t have to worry about the Syndicate ever again.
This is it. The moment it was all leading up to. I don’t know if I’ve got the courage to pull it off, but I’ve got to try.
First things first, though—I have to get Ulfar out of the house and make sure he doesn’t suspect anything. He’s planning to ride out to the campsite to look for my book today. It breaks my heart that I won’t get to take it with me. I had to sacrifice his gift to use as a decoy.
The guilt and betrayal twist like a knife deep in my heart, but with it is also the fear of what will happen if I don’t do this. So I take a deep breath and decide to give him the best parting gift I can think of.
Lifting the blankets, I duck my head underneath and move carefully between his legs, admiring the warm weight of his cock. He’s got morning wood already, and the golden skin stretches taut over his thick shaft. My mouth waters at the sight. Dipping my head down, I press my tongue to the underside of his shaft, licking up until I reach the bulging head. The taste of him explodes on my tongue, shooting pleasure straight between my thighs as I adjust myself further.
His cock twitches under my tongue as I lick it again. I swirl my tongue around the head, tasting and savoring the drop of precum that forms there. I can still hear him breathing softly and easily. He hasn’t moved. I wonder if I can make him cum like this.
As I open my mouth wider and suck the head between my lips, he lets out a sleepy moan. The sound of his pleasure drives me to do the same and I sigh around him, the vibrations of my throat stimulating him even more.
“Nngh,” he mumbles sleepily, finally rousing enough to prop up on his elbows and toss the blanket off of me.
I look up at him, mouth full of cock, but my eyes are wide and loving. I know this will be the last time I’ll get to see him like this, so I want to etch it into my memory as much as possible.
“Not that I’m complaining, but what’s this all about?” he says with a smile, running a hand through his hair.
“What’s the matter, you don’t like it?” I give him another lick from root to tip while squeezing his shaft with one hand while my other hand gently caresses his balls.
Ulfar throws back his head and hisses. “It’s not that, just, ahh—” His voice cracks as I suck him into my mouth again, even deeper than before. He’s so big I can barely fit anything past the head, but he tastes so damn good I find myself opening wider and wider for him.
“Sarah,” he pants, lifting his head to make eye contact with me again. “That’s really...you’re gonna...”
Spurred on by his exclamation, I swirl my tongue around the head and use my other hand to cup his balls, rolling them between my fingers before tugging them gently. The unexpected pressure sends him over the edge, shouting a curse as his fingers dig into my scalp.
Loads of hot, sticky semen burst into my mouth before I can react, dribbling over the sides of my lips when I can’t hold any more. It’s warm and slightly salty but has a musk and texture that’s uniquely him .
After swallowing as much as I can and wiping my lips, I look up at him with a flushed, hazy expression. The knowledge of what I’m going to have to do still weighs in the back of my mind, but at least this way, I have something to remember him by. “Good morning,” I say sweetly.
“Good morning to you too,” he says, still awestruck. “That was amazing.”
“I saw you were already hard this morning; I couldn’t just let that go to waste, could I?” I nudge him playfully.
“You’re ridiculous,” he teases back, ruffling my hair. “But that definitely woke me up, so I’m going to get ready to head out and get that book you left behind at the campsite. Anything else you need me to pick up while I’m out?”
I shake my head. “No, that’s it.”
It will take almost a full day to get there, by which point I’ll hopefully be long gone.
“Are you sure you’re going to be all right here by yourself?” He lingers at the door, and he’s not making this any easier.
“I’m sure,” I insist. “Now go, you’re losing daylight.”
“All right,” he says. “I’ll see you soon.”
“See you.” The words hit harder than any physical blow. And with that, he’s gone.
The cottage fills with an eerie quiet and the finality of what I have to do. I don’t allow myself to dwell on it. I can’t. If I stop to think, I’ll change my mind and get cold feet. I can’t let that happen.
So I turn my brain over to autopilot and go through the motions, throwing as many of my things into a bag as I can. I don’t stop for anything that’s not a necessity—I’ll need to travel light where I’m going—but as I head for the door my gaze lingers on a hair clip on the mantelpiece. Intricately carved from the bone of an alien beast, it’s inset with one of the heart-stones from the place Vi and I visited. Ulfar carved it for me. As a gift.
I sigh. It’s just one of the many things he’s done for me. One of the many ways he’s gone above and beyond. I close my eyes and let out a breath. Tears start to well up, but I sniff them away. Then, I snatch the hair clip and shove it into my pocket before heading out the door and into the pale dawn.
First order of business—I need to see Vi. I already planned on getting lunch with her today anyway, but this is a little more urgent than that. She’s probably still sleeping at this hour, but I have to hope she won’t be too mad at me for waking her up.
When I knock on the door, hand shaking, it takes a few moments for her to answer. I’m about to give up and try calling her comm instead when the door opens, showing a very sleepy-looking Vi. Her eyes light up when she sees me, and she ushers me inside.
“Did I miss a memo or something? I thought we weren’t meeting until lunch today. Oh crap, did I sleep until lunch again?” She checks the time on her wrist and yelps. “It’s still the ass-crack of dawn, girl! What’s going on?”
Her mate, Djorn, steps into the picture, eyeing me warily. “Is this your friend?” he says in a low, rumbling voice that sounds like thunder. He’s just as tall and broad as Ulfar, and just as intimidating. He wears a large pelt draped over his shoulders, but his scarred, muscular chest is on full display. Are all Aesirheim males this huge? I resist the urge to turn away, and stand my ground.
“I’m Sarah,” I say, sticking my hand out to greet him. “Vi’s my friend. Nice to meet you.”
Djorn grunts. He doesn’t take any action to shake my hand, just continues watching me with those dark, deep-set eyes. Like a predator sizing up his prey, and not in the sexy way. “Veronica needs her sleep. She’s not been resting well, and she’s—”
“Oh, can it, Djorn.” I gasp at the irreverent way she speaks to him. I could never. “I can speak for myself. Now get out so the pregnant ladies can talk.”
I watch, shocked, at both her crass declaration and his reaction. What surprises me even more is that he actually seems to listen to her. He bows his head like an obedient puppy. “As you wish, my love.” Djorn turns and leaves the room, and I hear the bedroom door shut behind him.
Vi watches him go, then turns back to me with arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. “All right, out with it. I knew something was up with you ever since we met at the center. Tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, we all got baggage after all. But you’re here with your bags like you’re going somewhere, and you’ve got this look on your face like you’ve seen a ghost...what’s going on, Sarah? Tell me.”
All the fear and stress and emotion of the situation crumbles around me. I have to tell someone, and it might as well be her. She wouldn’t betray me to the surrogacy agency, and maybe she can even help me get out of here. Because as much as I’d like to, I don’t think I can do this alone.
I sway on my feet, a sudden wave of dizziness washing over me. Vi guides me to the couch, where I sit down heavily. She takes the seat next to me, folding her hands and leaning forward. Her intense gaze doesn’t waver. Her brash personality is still there, but this time it’s tempered by genuine concern.
“All right,” I say at last, glancing around to see if anyone else is watching or listening. I don’t know if they have little recorders in these places to check up on us. Wouldn’t surprise me if they did. So I gesture for her to come closer. “I’ll tell you. But you can’t tell a soul, you got that? Not even Djorn. I’m serious.”
Her expression doesn’t change. She simply gives me a curt nod and signals for me to continue.
“So here’s what happened...”
* * *
“Shit, Sarah. I knew you had baggage, but this is...” She runs a hand through her undercut hair, letting out a breath. “I’ve dealt with them before. It’s not pretty.”
A chill runs down my spine at the thought, but also a sense of relief. She knows who I’m talking about. She knows I’m not crazy.
“What do you need?” Vi asks. Her face falls into a grimace. “Or rather, what are they asking?”
“I’ve got to get off the planet. My family, my entire home, is in danger if I don’t.”
She lets out a low whistle. “Even with your...” Vi gestures at my stomach. I can’t work up with words from the lump in my throat, so I just nod. “Okay. But it’s going to be dangerous, and if something happens, I can’t protect you.”
“I know.” It hurts, but I know.
“Here’s what we can do. I’ll help you get to the spaceport, but you gotta promise me something.”
“And what’s that?”
Her expression softens. “Leave a message for that man of yours.” She sees the shock on my face, and adds, “Oh, come on, I know you love him. Anyone could see that.”
Love . The word hits so much deeper when I know I might never see him again. “What would I even say? Will he understand?” I let out a shuddering breath. “Will he hate me?”
Vi thinks for a moment, then leans forward and squeezes my hand. “I don’t know. But if he’s anything like Djorn, he’ll want you to be safe. Whatever that means for you. Hell, he’d probably go in guns blazing if he had the chance. But if you really care for him, Sarah, let him know. I’ll help you write a message, and I can give it to him.”
I really can’t stop the tears now. As they tumble over my cheeks, I squeeze her hand in return. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
* * *
“Jeez, Sarah, act natural. If you keep jumping at every little thing, people are gonna think you’re suspicious.”
“But I am suspicious.” I can’t help it. The spaceport buzzes with activity, and humans and aliens come and go from every angle. Even with the crowd, I can’t help but feel like I’m being watched. Like any moment someone will recognize me and haul me back to the center to face judgment by the ISA. Or worse, throw me straight into a prison cell.
“That’s irrelevant.” She waves her hand dismissively. “I know it’s easier said than done, but if you wanna get out of here in one piece, you have got to look the part. Take a deep breath and say it with me, ‘I’m supposed to be here.’”
I gulp. “I’m...supposed to be here?” Not very convincing.
Vi chuckles. “We’ll work on it. Come on, let’s check the timetables.”
We weave through the throngs of people until we get to the giant holo board that shows all the arrivals and departures. Each row also has a capacity indicator that shows how full each car is, which is helpful for me because I want the transport to be as empty as possible if I can help it. After the last few cryptic messages from the Syndicate, I know I need to catch one of the shuttles to Yarilo-V Space Station, and that they should have a messenger in wait to ‘collect the cargo.’
Maybe it’s just the sheer amount of stress, or maybe it’s morning sickness (probably both), but I nearly puke at the thought.
“Stay with me,” Vi urges, squeezing my hand again. “Yarilo-V, right?”
“Right.”
“Looks like there’s one here in an hour, but it’s full to bursting. Totally overbooked, no more seats available.”
I groan. “Aren’t there any others?”
She shakes her head. “Not til tomorrow.” Then she perks up, tapping her lip. “I’ve got an idea.” Vi turns to me, a mischievous grin on her face.
“Oh no, I don’t like that expression.”
“Do you want to get out of here or not?” she quips, looking me up and down. “Now...how do you feel about small spaces?”
“Uhhh...why?” I have an idea, but I don’t like where this is going...
“Yarilo-V is a giant economic hub station. Traders go in and out of there all the time with millions of different imports and exports. And it says this shuttle here is making a resupply stop at the station after landing. You know what that means?”
“That I have to exit through the gift shop?”
“No, that they’re bringing tons of empty storage containers to carry the goods back to Aesirheim with them.”
The connotation finally sinks in, and my mouth drops open. “You want me to... what ?”
* * *
This is either the smartest or the most stupid idea I’ve ever had in my life. I’m sitting hunched up in the fetal position inside a dark metal box, hoping I’ll get loaded onto the right ship at the right time. Vi distracted the couriers long enough for me to slip inside, and now I’m a sitting duck.
There are small slats in the metal for ventilation and I can see slivers of activity if I press my face to the cold walls. I hear voices and announcements echoing around me and then a shudder of movement. A mechanical whirring vibrates the container and I watch the spaceport pass us by. A smoother transition, then a slow sliding motion as the container tilts upward. We must be on a conveyor belt. I try to remember what the cargo loading area looks like.
A loud hiss and then the container tilts again, landing with a bone-jarring thump. I wince, but since it’s a small space and there are several tie-downs hanging from the walls, I’m able to grab on and steady myself. Now as long as the takeoff goes smoothly...
“Now departing Aesirheim Central Spaceport. This is the Starbound Shuttle with nonstop service to Yarilo-V Space Station. If you do not wish to go to Yarilo-V, please disembark immediately. All others, fasten your seatbelts and prepare for takeoff. Thank you for flying Starbound!”
As the engines roar to life, I can’t hold it back any longer. I pull out my tablet, send the confirmation code to the special contact to let them know I’m on my way, then lean my head against the wall and cry my heart out.