Unafraid (Amber Ridge #1)

Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

A spen leaned her head back against the car seat. She was ready for bed. Past ready. But even with her eyes closed, she felt Jesse’s gaze on her. He’d had his eyes on her since they’d left the station.

When he pulled into his driveway, she unfastened her seat belt and climbed out. Neither said anything as they moved to the door, or when Jesse unlocked and opened it. She made it halfway down the hall before he spoke.

“Aspen. Tell me what upset you. You were fine when I left that room.”

She nibbled her bottom lip before turning, forcing herself to meet his gaze. “Did you get a callout involving my mother?”

His brows flickered. “Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It was the night you saw someone in your window. We were dealing with other stuff, and after that, I just got distracted. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to hide it.”

“And did you then tell Luke that my mother’s insane?”

His frown deepened.

“Because I know she needs help,” Aspen rushed to add. “I’ve shared plenty with you about her mental health, but you calling her insane to your friend—”

He was in front of her within a second. “I didn’t use the word ‘insane.’ I told him that she’s unstable . That one second she’s fine, and the next—”

“She’s sending me death threats.”

“He was the deputy with me on the case that day. I had to give him a bit of background information.”

She nodded. It made sense. But there was still a part of her that felt like she’d trusted him with one of the hardest parts of her life, and that information had not only been shared but then used as water-cooler gossip.

Jesse touched her hip. “What exactly did he say to you?”

“Nothing. But he was more than willing to share with Bea in the kitchen.”

“I’m going to kill him,” he growled.

She shook her head, scrubbing her hands over her face. “It’s not just that. It just hit me tonight how tired I am. I’m tired of my mother and Dylan and the problems I’m having writing, when writing used to come so easily. And I’m tired of thinking about you and last night and what we almost did.”

“I told you…I wanted to. You have no idea how much I wanted to. Because I want you .”

“I was there and willing. You turned me away.”

“Because one night with you would never be enough, Aspen. So I need to know that you’re in this. I’m terrified of pushing too hard and scaring you away.”

Her heart took off at a faster pace, an intoxicating mix of heat and awareness dancing over her skin.

He tugged her against him, his hands big and warm on her hips. “I’m sorry if I made you think you weren’t wanted. That couldn’t be further from the truth.”

She should step away. Being close to him was dangerous. Hearing him say those words was dangerous. But she couldn’t. She closed her eyes, and the words repeated in her head, sinking deeper inside her. And his scent, that sexy sandalwood…it surrounded her.

“Why?” she whispered.

“Why what?”

“Why do you want me?” She forced her gaze up to meet his again. “I’m not brave or smart or strong. I don’t have money or a good family to share. I don’t even have my life together.”

That familiar frown returned to his face, and one of the hands on her hip slid up her side, only stopping to cup her cheek. “You were brave enough to leave everything you knew in Tennessee, including your best friend, and move across the country to look for a fresh start. You were smart enough to leave a relationship you knew was toxic. And after your mother broke in, you were strong enough to send her away.” He tilted his head. “And I don’t care about the other stuff. Even if you had them, they would be the least interesting things about you. I like you because I am addicted to everything about you. I’m addicted to your smile. Your laugh. I’m addicted to seeing you first thing in the morning and before I go to bed at night.”

Turn around, Aspen. Walk away before you do something you can’t take back.

But she didn’t. She couldn’t. She slipped her hands up his chest, letting the heat of his skin beneath his shirt warm her. Allowing the strong rhythm of his heart to beat into her.

“Tell me I won’t regret this,” she whispered, almost pleading as she looked up into his eyes. “Tell me this won’t hurt me.”

“You won’t regret this. And I would never hurt you.”

She couldn’t stop herself. She lifted to her toes and kissed him.

He growled as he lifted her into his arms, pulling her entire body flush against his. The kiss was wild and desperate and everything her body craved. He was everything she craved.

She kissed him hard before parting her lips to let him in. He delved inside her mouth, and she tasted him. Drowned in him.

He turned them and headed toward the bedroom. When her back touched the mattress, she threaded her fingers through his hair, as if needing something to hold onto. Needed to keep him exactly where he was.

She arched, pressing her body to his. His warmth and strength were everywhere.

His fingers slipped beneath her top and pushed the thin material up. She lifted her arms, and the second it was over her head, she reached for his shirt, needing to feel his skin against hers. Then she slid her fingers down his body. Against the hard ridges of his chest. Perfect. Everything about him was perfect.

His hands slid behind her and unclasped her bra. It loosened and he swooped, taking one pebbled nipple between his lips.

Fire burned through her limbs.

Oh, God.

She cried out, her fingers digging into his flesh. He rolled her nipple with his tongue, then sucked, making her core throb. When his teeth grazed her sensitive bud, she jolted.

What was he doing to her?

With a desperation she didn’t even recognize, she guided his head back to her so she could kiss him. Sink her tongue inside his mouth and taste him again. Her fingers shook as she reached for the button of his pants. The second it was undone, she reached inside and wrapped her fingers around his cock.

The growl that released from his throat was almost primal. And it drove her to start exploring. To slide her palm up and down his length. To stroke him from base to tip.

He hung his head, dropping his temple to her neck, his shuddering breaths whispering over her skin as the muscles in his arms bunched.

Touching such a powerful man, having such an obvious effect, made her feel powerful, and need churned inside her.

She hadn’t had nearly enough time to explore him when he grabbed her wrist, stilling her.

“Jesse—”

He cut off her words with another earth-shattering kiss. His fingers went to her jeans and panties, pushing both down. Then she was completely naked beneath him, his cock between her thighs, making her heart beat faster.

But he didn’t kiss her again. Instead, he looked so intensely into her eyes that she could barely breathe. He looked at her like he could see every emotion she tried to hide. Hear every unsaid word. Like he could read every detail about her.

“Tell me you want this,” he said, warm breath whispering over her skin. “Tell me you want me .”

She’d tried so hard to convince herself she didn’t, for so long. But now? “I do, Jesse. I want you. I don’t know how to not want you.”

His temple touched hers, and his eyes closed like her words pained him. Then he reached out and pulled a small foil from the bedside drawer. He tore it open with his teeth and slid the condom over himself. When he returned to her, her breathing was shallow. He was right at her entrance. And it made the throb in her lower belly intensify.

There was fear, but no doubt.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“For what?”

“Coming into my life and making everything better.” Then he slid inside her, and she groaned as he stretched her. Filled her. Made her his.

Jesse couldn’t breathe. He dropped his head as her walls hugged his cock.

Fuck, she was tight. Every part of him urged him to move. To lift his hips and thrust back inside her. Instead, he lowered his head and kissed her. This kiss was slower. A gentle sweep of his lips against hers, then a slow swipe of his tongue inside her mouth.

He would never tire of kissing this woman. Not if he lived a hundred years and they shared a million moments just like this one.

“Mm.” Her moan had barely slipped into the air when she wrapped a leg around his waist and tugged him deeper.

He growled, his cock turning to stone.

“Move,” she whispered, nibbling his bottom lip.

He lifted his hips and thrust back down. The air whooshed from her chest, brushing over his face, making his skin burn.

He lifted and thrust again, his mouth falling to her neck and sucking. Even her skin tasted sweet. And it made him want to devour her. Spend hours tasting every inch of her.

He continued to move, to lift in and out of her. When he found her breast again, he swiped her nipple back and forth with the pad of his thumb before rolling it in a circle. He was rewarded by more sweet fucking moans.

Her nails scratched down, then back up his arms before she grasped his shoulders, like she needed him as her anchor as much as he needed her to be his.

Everything about Aspen was fucking magic. From the sounds she made that shot straight into his chest to the way she gave herself to him so freely.

She was everything he hadn’t realized he’d been waiting for. Everything he hadn’t realized he needed. And he did need her. All of her, all the time.

She started lifting her hips, meeting him thrust for thrust.

Shit, he was close, but he needed to feel her break apart first.

He moved his hand from her breast to her clit and stroked.

The cry that spilled from her lips gutted him. He swiped again, this time applying a bit more pressure as he circled her clit with his thumb. He lowered his head and took a nipple between his lips again and sucked hard.

Her body arched off the sheets. Then she screamed as her muscles tensed, her fingers grabbing and pulling at his hair as she splintered. He released her nipple and lifted his head, his eyes going to her face as he continued to thrust. Watching as she fell apart.

Fucking gorgeous. All of her.

He quickened his pace, taking her deeper, his thumb never stilling over her clit, wanting to drag out her orgasm as long as he could.

She yanked him close, sinking her teeth into his shoulder. The bite of pain sent him over the edge. He fucking shattered, growling as her walls throbbed around him.

He kept thrusting, not stopping until he had nothing left. Until every ounce of strength and energy were gone and it was just the sounds of their heaving breaths in the room.

He dropped beside her and tugged her against him.

What the hell had just happened? He’d known being with Aspen would be good. But that wasn’t just good. It went deeper than that. It was a feeling of rightness that he’d never experienced in his life. A connection that touched parts of him that had never been touched.

He kissed her forehead. It was all he could do because he didn’t have words. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if there were words after what they’d just shared.

Like she was the same, she also remained silent, sinking deeper into his side.

He closed his eyes and let the moment slip over him. Tonight had changed things, and there was no going back.