Unafraid (Amber Ridge #1)

Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

A thumb swiped Aspen’s hip. It was warm and gentle and made her skin tingle. Her eyes remained closed as soft thuds beat against her ear.

A heartbeat.

Jesse’s heartbeat.

Her eyes popped open to see a large bare chest beneath her cheek. Her arm was slung over a hard stomach, and even though her legs were beneath the sheets, she could feel Jesse’s tangled with hers.

She’d had sex with Jesse last night. She’d had freaking sex with Jesse last night.

She scrunched her eyes closed, and moments from the previous night flashed back in her head. His lips on hers. His hands everywhere.

But it hadn’t felt like just sex. It’d felt like more than that. Deeper.

Old fear gripped her heart, squeezing, almost cutting off the air from her lungs.

No . She couldn’t let fear control her forever. That meant Dylan won. Yes, she’d gotten into a bad relationship. Yes, the man she’d been dating had turned out to be someone completely different.

Jesse wasn’t like that.

But what if she hadn’t seen every part of him?

“Aspen?”

Her head shot up, eyes wide as they collided with Jesse’s.

“Jesse…hi.”

His thumb rubbed her hip again, causing a shudder to roll down her spine. “I can almost hear you thinking.”

“You can’t hear someone think.”

“Maybe not. But by the tensing of your muscles and the fisting of your hand, I know something’s going on in your head. Want to share?”

No . That was the last thing she wanted to do. Like smack dab right at the bottom. Plus, her head was such a mess, she didn’t even know how to articulate her thoughts.

“It’s nothing. I just…I overthink things. Hazard of being an author.” Hazard of being Aspen.

Concern flickered over his features. “What are you overthinking?”

Us . The word stuck to the tip of her tongue like glue.

When she took too long to answer, he rolled them so he hovered over her. “If it’s us…”

Bingo.

“…I might have some work to do.” He lowered his head, and she gasped when his lips touched her neck. But the gasp quickly turned into a moan as he grazed little kisses across her skin.

Holy hell, how did he always know exactly how to touch her to make thinking so hard?

His hand smoothed down the side of her body, and when he lifted his head, she immediately wanted to tug him back down to her. Demand he kiss all the parts of her body he’d missed.

His intense, dark gaze collided with hers. “I’m sorry again about Luke.”

The reminder of Luke and his conversation with Bea about her mother crashed her back to reality, making her heated skin suddenly feel a bit cooler.

“What was the callout?” she asked. The question was one she probably should have asked last night, but her head had been a mess.

“She blocked the external cameras at the Airbnb where she’s staying. The owner asked her to uncover them, but it looks like she then messed with the Wi-Fi router. The owner asked us to drop in and get it back up and running.”

Aspen frowned. “Why would she do that?”

“I asked her, but…”

“She wouldn’t tell you. Sounds like my mother. She’d probably just concoct some story about being watched. It wouldn’t be the first time.” She shook her head. “I hope she leaves soon.” But when had Karen Davies ever done what Aspen wanted?

“I’ve asked the owner to let me know when she checks out.” His hand grazed back up her side. “You didn’t eat last night. I need to feed you.”

“Food sounds good.” As if her stomach heard, it gave a huge, everyone-in-the-neighborhood-probably-heard growl.

Oh, God.

Jesse laughed while Aspen covered her face with her hands. “I’m so embarrassed.”

“Don’t be. It’s a reminder that I’m not feeding you enough.” He kissed her neck again, and she groaned.

But when she lowered her hands, Jesse’s smile had dropped.

A bad feeling churned in her belly. “What?”

“I know you don’t like working at the station, but if you don’t, I’d like you to stay here, with the doors locked, while I’m at work.”

“Because of the person in my window the other night?”

There was a pause, and that pit in her belly deepened.

“Because Dylan might be in town.”

A chill swept over Aspen’s skin, and suddenly Jesse’s weight went from comforting to almost claustrophobic.

She pushed at his shoulders, and he drew back, but his gaze never left her face.

“What do you mean, Dylan might be in town?” she asked, the words sounding wrong on her lips. She sat up, pulling the sheet with her.

Dylan couldn’t be here. Amber Ridge was supposed to be her retreat. Her safe place. There was supposed to be half of an entire freaking country between them.

Jesse’s gaze shifted between her eyes. “We’re not certain. But he hasn’t used his bank cards for days, and he’s taken leave from work.”

Her heart started to pound; giant, loud thumps that beat into her ears, drowning out the world around her.

“Aspen—” He reached out a hand, maybe to cup her cheek, but he moved so fast that she flinched.

Her heart stopped, embarrassment heating her cheeks.

Anger transformed his expression, but somehow, she knew that anger wasn’t aimed toward her. “Aspen…I need you to tell me something.”

That statement made her want to run.

“Did he physically hurt you?”

She didn’t move…not a muscle. People had asked her what had happened—Callie in particular—but she hadn’t told a single soul. Because the words hurt…they physically hurt. And saying them out loud, telling another soul that someone had assaulted her, hit her, and she’d stayed…it made her feel physically ill.

But really, Jesse didn’t need her to confirm or deny anything. He already knew. He was the one who’d told her about Dylan putting his fiancée in a coma. He was the one who’d suspected it was Dylan who’d beaten her so badly.

He knew she’d been abused too. He was just waiting for Aspen to admit it.

So why couldn’t she? Why was it so hard to put those words out into the world?

“I need to shower.” She climbed off the bed, but not before seeing the disappointment on Jesse’s face.

She was running from this, and it made her feel weak all over again, but she couldn’t muster the strength to be stronger. She grabbed the first shirt she could find. Jesse’s shirt. And the second it covered her body, his scent surrounded her.

Out. She had to get out. Away from Jesse and his questions and the way they sucked her back in time and made her feel vulnerable and pathetic all over again.

“Aspen.”

She stopped halfway to the door, her eyes closing.

“Please.” He was closer now. Then his hands touched her waist. “Trust me with the truth, even if that truth is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. You don’t need to be afraid with me.”

Afraid…she was afraid. And she didn’t know how to chase that fear away. The words she needed to speak felt impossible. Would he look at her differently if he knew? Of course he would. How could he not? She looked at herself differently.

“I will. I just… Not right now. Please.”

His mouth lowered to her neck, and he pressed one light kiss there. “I’ll wait for you.”

Inside her bedroom, she closed her door and rested her head against the wood, wishing she was stronger. Wishing she could be the person she was before Dylan had changed everything.

Jesse slammed the car door and moved into the station. He was in a bad fucking mood.

Last night had been everything he’d known it would be. Aspen had finally trusted him with her body, and it felt so damn right. They’d felt so damn right.

He’d thought that was it. That she was finally his and they could move forward together. That she might let him in on an emotional level too. Trust him with her past.

But she wasn’t ready.

He stepped into the station, and Bea and Margot glanced up from behind the desk.

Bea smiled. “Good morning.”

“Hey, Sheriff.” Margot grinned.

He dipped his head at the women. “Morning. Did I miss much last night?”

Bea shook her head. “Nope.”

“I actually have it on good authority that the deputies were bored out of their minds,” Margot added.

Good. It would make for an easy morning. “Thanks.”

Margot cocked her head. “Are you okay?”

Not even close. “Just gearing up for the day.”

In his office, he logged in to his computer and was checking his emails when Luke stepped in. He held up a laptop. “Your girlfriend left this here last night.”

Shit . She was going to need that.

“I’ll text her.” He lifted his phone.

Jesse: Hey. I’ve got your laptop at the station. Want me to drop it off?

Luke dropped into the seat opposite the desk. “Everything okay? You’ve got that ‘I need to kill someone’ look on your face.”

The three dots popped up on his phone, then disappeared. He blew out a breath and set his cell on his desk. “Were you telling Bea the stuff I told you about Karen Davies last night?”

Luke’s eyes widened, his mouth opening and closing before he answered the question. “Uh…yeah. Sorry. Bea and I are friends, and we were just talking—”

“I told you that stuff because it was work related, not so you could gossip about it to our receptionist.”

“I know. I’m sorry, man. It won’t happen again.” He frowned. “How did you even know? Did Bea—”

“Aspen heard.”

Luke cringed. “Jesus. I’m an asshole. I don’t know what I was thinking.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’ll apologize to her next time I see her. Was she angry?”

“Yes, but more angry at me than you.”

His phone beeped, and he picked it up to see Aspen’s response.

Aspen: I don’t need to work today. You can just bring it home tonight.

Great. She was so desperate to avoid him that she was willing to do nothing all day.

Luke leaned forward. “Are you in the doghouse now?”

“Yeah, but that’s not all your doing.” The image of her running out of the bedroom made a vein throb in his temple. If he dropped off the laptop, he wouldn’t be able to leave. Hell, he’d stay and kiss the woman until he knew she was happy, then he’d probably never make it back to work. “Are you able to drop the laptop off at my place for me?”

Luke’s brows lifted. “Me?”

“Yeah. I’m a bit snowed under this morning.” He glanced at his almost empty inbox. A fucking lie if ever he told one.

“Yeah, I can take it to her. It’ll give me a chance to apologize.” Luke rose. “I really am sorry, Jesse. It was unprofessional of me to talk to Bea about Karen. It won’t happen again.”

“I know it won’t.”

Luke nodded before stepping out of the office.

The second Luke was gone, Jesse lifted his phone.

Jesse: I want you to have your laptop. Luke’s dropping it off. I hope that’s okay.

Aspen: Thank you, I appreciate it.

He dropped his phone to the desk when what he really wanted to do was throw the thing across the room. He was frustrated. Hell, frustrated didn’t even do justice to what he was feeling.

He turned to his computer and tried to concentrate. He replied to a few emails. Signed off on a few reports. And he made so many mistakes, it was obvious he should have just stayed in bed.

He leaned back in the chair, running his fingers through his hair as he recalled waking up to Aspen’s warm body. The feel of her soft skin against him. Her hair splayed on his skin.

The woman was in his fucking blood.

A tap on the door had him straightening. “Come in.”

Claudia stepped into his office. “Hey, Jesse. I have something for you, but you’re not gonna like it.”

Of course he wouldn’t. “Tell me.”

“You know how my friend’s been keeping an eye on Bollard’s bank cards as a way of tracking him?”

His muscles tensed. “Yeah.”

“He used one of them yesterday.”

He almost didn’t want to ask. “Where?”

“Bozeman.”

Blood roared between Jesse’s ears, so loud it deafened the world around him. Bozeman was less than an hour east of Amber Ridge.

That basically confirmed it. Dylan was here, in Amber Ridge…and he was here for Aspen.