19. Max
CHAPTER 19
MAX
I want nothing more than to get out of here and never come back. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, next week, or even next month. What I do know is right now, I want to be done with this place, the people here, and any and all of the memories associated with it.
I’m sure my parents won’t let up easily. I know this isn’t over and that there’s a very real chance that I could get caught for what I did to Carson. But right now, none of that matters. I only want to get away and go back home and live my life to the fullest until the cops drag me away in handcuffs.
It doesn’t matter how much Danner reassures me that that won’t happen, I don’t fully believe her. I also am just now learning more about her. Like the fact that she’s some sort of a private investigator who also has some pretty shady connections.
She also hasn’t said it, but I think she may have killed someone before. She said she has help to “clean up” and that was all the information she would give me. We swung by a sketchy pay by the hour motel so I could clean the blood off my body and change.
We get on the first plane out, and as soon as we’re seated, I rest my head on Adam’s shoulder. Feeling settled and safe, I close my eyes and fall asleep for the entire plane ride.
It takes a couple hours after we land to drive home to Seaside, but I fall asleep again in the car. It’s like my body knows that I can finally relax and is letting me for the first time in weeks. Months, even, because before Carson kidnapped me, I was always looking over my shoulder. The guys helped me relax when I would fall asleep wrapped around any of them, but even then, the lingering fear was always in the back of my mind.
Right now, any lingering fear regarding Carson finding me and dragging me back to Texas is gone, so I can drift off easily all the way home.
I'm carried inside by a pair of strong arms and I nuzzle into the broad chest more, breathing in his familiar leather and ocean breeze scent. I've missed it so much.
I want to drown in the smell, to be completely consumed by it for the rest of my life. When I lay down, I reach for Drew, not wanting him to let go. “Come back.”
He chuckles softly. “Go to sleep, little one. The guys and I are going to talk before coming to bed.”
“No. Stay,” I mumble, but I can already feel myself fading back into sleep.
He leans down, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. “I’ll be here when you wake up.” I fight to kiss him harder, but he lays me down, tucking the blankets in around me. “Rest, I’ll be back.”
I try to reach for him as he walks away, but he just gets further and further away and sleep pulls me under once again.
When I wake up, I’m overheated and I quickly realize it’s from the bodies pressed against me. The hot, hard bodies that make me feel so many things I can’t even put a name to. I sit up slightly, looking down at Adam. He’s sleeping so peacefully, one arm folded behind his head while the other is resting on his perfectly sculpted abdomen.
I’m careful not to touch him, just raking my eyes over the tattooed skin, wondering what they mean. The snake on his throat reminds me of when he had Athena wrapped around mine.
I bring my fingers up to the spot where she was coiled around the base of my throat. Remembering the fear and just how turned on I was at the same time as she tightened even more, cutting off my oxygen while Adam played with my body, bringing so much pleasure that I couldn't see straight.
My eyes dip down to where the blanket is pooled around his hips, wanting to tug it down and release his cock so I can bury my face in his lap to wake him up.
Before I’m able to do that, or anything else, a voice snaps my attention up. “What’re you doing baby girl?”
I look up to see Adam hasn’t moved other than the fact that his eyes are open.
“Just looking at you,” I tell him honestly, settling back down, facing him, still not touching, though I want to rest my hand on his chest and trace the muscles and ink.
“You look like you want to do more than just look,” he comments.
I shrug, but then get bold when I ask, “Can I?”
He hesitates, and my shoulders drop slightly.
“Why?” My voice is soft.
He looks over my other shoulder at the sleeping Caine, and then to the other side of him to where Drew is sleeping.
“Come with me,” he offers and I nod easily.
As carefully as possible, we sneak out of the large bed in Caine’s house, and I’m not exactly sure why we ended up here but I’m glad we aren’t at my house. I don’t know how I’ll feel stepping foot in there again, though I know I need to.
Adam leads us outside to the backyard, and I didn’t notice the blanket he must have grabbed along the way until I sit on the bench, pulling my legs up to my chest, trying to stay warm from the chill in the air.
He wraps the soft fabric around my shoulders and I send up a thankful look to him when he sits down next to me. Neither of us say anything right away, but he does take my hand in his, wrapping our fingers together while I lean into him. I love how each of these men make me feel, and Adam is an expert at making me feel at peace.
“I struggle with being touched,” he states, and I just listen, not wanting him to tell me more than he’s comfortable with. But he continues. “I never knew my parents. I was raised in foster homes until I aged out.”
I squeeze his hand tightly, silently encouraging him, but not wanting to ruin the moment.
“I don’t think I was hugged until I was an adult.” He pauses. “Even then I can count on one hand how many times I have been.”
“Me too,” I whisper softly, not wanting him to stop, but realizing that we have this messed up thing in common. I may not have grown up in foster homes, and unfortunately, I do know my parents. However, my home still lacked the love and comfort that his did as well.
“I think I just grew used to not being touched. I wanted to be in charge in any intimate situation, and that turned into removing the hands that would try and touch my chest. Tying them up, holding them down, and avoiding eye contact. Sex has always just been sex.”
I nod, listening as he continues. “It’s not that I don’t want you to touch me. I do.”
I squeeze his hand tighter. “I understand.”
“We can try… We can work on it.” He turns to look at me and I see the desperation in his gaze. “I want to be better for you.”
My jaw drops slightly at his honesty, not expecting him to be this vulnerable with me.
“You already are,” I tell him. “My life before I came here was awful, and you guys have already been better for me than anyone else in my life.”
“You’ve changed our lives too, baby girl, and I don’t think you understand just how much.”
“Me too.” I rest my head against him again, wanting the connection. Wanting to just feel close to him.
“We were never going to give up trying to find you,” he whispers.
“I wasn’t going to give up trying to get back to you guys either.”