CHAPTER 18
TRENT
Dumb, dumb, always dumb. No matter what I do, or how hard I try, I’ll never be good enough to escape that label.
I should be used to it by now. But hearing it come out of Kian’s mouth hurts worse than anything. Because he’s the best person I know, and even he gets fed up to the point of saying it.
Driving around aimlessly, I watch the streetlights pass and the sky get darker, but I don’t stop. If I stop, I’m going to do something I regret. And I am not that person anymore.
When I pull my car into Mitch’s driveway, I cut the engine, staring at the steering wheel. Tracing the cracks in the leather and wondering how I’ve managed to fuck up once again. I thought I was saying all the right things, doing all the right things. I did exactly what he said I needed to do, and I go tomorrow to get tested. Even if it is positive, it doesn’t bother me. It’s a curable infection, just like every other illness that people get.
Should it worry me that it’s an STI? No, because I know Kian, and I know he would never cheat on me and put me in this kind of position. It’s probably the exact same as getting mono, touching your mouth to something that has the bacteria from a previous person.
I don’t know why Kian was panicking so much. He, more than anyone, should know how much I trust him.
Mitch is standing outside, leaning against a railing on the porch and staring at me. Time to get out and face the music.
“Everything good?” he asks while I shut my car door.
“Just peachy.”
We go inside and sit on the couch, putting together the new QR puzzle he saw online. This bitch is hard, but it keeps my mind occupied and off my boyfriend. If I can even claim him as that after tonight.
“Mitch,” I start, then pause, wondering how to ask this question that I've been wanting to know for a while. But now I need to know.
“Are you going to ask me today, or wait until I’m on my deathbed?” Mitch quips.
“Hardy har har,” I deadpan, not taking my eyes off the puzzle. I’m scared to lose my place, because then I’ll never find it again. “Why did you stop that day at the gas station?”
He doesn’t answer, and maybe he doesn’t have a good enough answer. Mitch is the type of person to offer you the shirt off his back. And that day, maybe he realized I needed more than a shirt.
“Why does a person normally stop at a gas station?” he finally says.
“Okay, old man.”
The TV show in front of us flashes bold colors, catching my wandering eyes. Definitely lost my place on the puzzle.
“I saw you standing there with your hands in your pockets. The weight of the world was on your shoulders. And at the time, little did I know it was two worlds.”
Kian’s and mine. Because I tried to shelter Kian from everything, and that day in the parking lot at the gas station, I was crumbling under the pressure.
“Yeah, not my finest moment,” I try to joke, because if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry.
“I looked at you and saw my younger self. Someone helped me out when I was that age, too, and I knew it was a sign that life was coming to collect.”
“And now?” I ask hesitantly. Because he’s done more than needed, but for some reason he always shows up when we need him the most.
“Now, what?” he says with an attitude, like I shouldn’t be asking him so many questions.
“Why are you still helping me? Helping us?”
“Because I took the two of you under my wing that day, and I made you a promise. Do you remember what it was?”
I nod my head. It was a promise so many people have broken, except Mitch and Kian. “You promised to never leave.” I reply in a small voice, still remembering the scared teenager I used to be. The only reason I ever had a chance at living a better life was because of him.
“That I did, and I don’t regret it at all. You and Kian are the closest things to kids I’ve ever had.”
Well, fuck me. Me and Kian have always considered ourselves the annoying children that Mitch never wanted. But hearing he doesn’t regret it fixes a piece of me that I didn’t know was broken.
“And you’re the only dad we’ve ever needed,” I tell him.