Under the Texas Sky

CHAPTER 26

TRENT

“This is a terrible idea, Mitch. I should cancel. I don’t think I’m ready.”

Mitch is lying in bed, watching an old eighties movie that I put on to entertain him while I’m gone. Carol from the center is in the living room, and she promised to call me if anything happens. But I still worry about him.

He breathes deeply and cracks his eyes open enough to glare at me, the light from the TV reflecting off his irises. That look alone shuts me up. We’ve talked about this multiple times. Mitch thinks it’s for the best, and I trust his opinions more than I do my own a majority of the time.

“I know, I know, okay! But what if it doesn’t work out? I’m scared Mitch. This will be my first ever official date with someone else.” The words catch in my throat and sound ragged to my own ears. It’s been two years and sixty-five days since Kian left. I should be ready to move on. Keyword being should.

Hunter is a really nice guy that I bumped into–literally bumped into with my cart–at Home Depot picking stuff up for our next job. He smiled, and my pathetic heart gave a small jump at the action. Not because I was instantly attracted to him, but because he was the first person other than Mitch and Karuna to smile at me like that. Not to hate on my business partner Adam, but as cool as he is, he never smiles.

He asked me what I was working on and after I explained it, he nodded his head like he was into the conversation. Until he said, “Hm, sounds interesting. I didn’t understand one word of that. I’m only here to pick up.” And then he pulled a small notepad out of the back pocket of his slacks. “A small container of Dap DryEx. And make sure it has the spatula.” His smile was bashful when he looked at me again, a small dimple peeking out of his left cheek.

He’s cute, probably about my age. Dark brown hair that is cropped close to his head and light brown eyes. They almost looked golden when he turned his head that day and the overhead light shined off them.

“You don’t happen to know where that is, do you?” he asked me. “I tried to look it up on the app, because I don’t want to ask someone, but I have shitty signal in here.”

I glanced down at my cart because I really didn’t want to push it around the store, but a flutter in my gut had me abandoning it beside a rack of two by fours and praying that no one moved it. “Yeah, I do. Come on.”

Hunter followed beside me like an obedient puppy, which was kind of adorable. He looked so out of place with his black slacks and a light blue button down shirt with an eccentric tie. It worked for him, though.

The short walk was spent with him explaining that his dad was teaching him because he just moved into his own house and he needed to be able to do stuff like this on his own.

We found the exact product he was looking for, and when he said he wanted to thank me for my help, I froze. My mind was telling me to say, you can thank me by joining me for dinner. And my heart was yelling at me that it only wants Kian.

“Can I make you dinner?” he asked. “Not anything fancy, but cooking is something I excel at.” His smile was cute and the dimples flashed again.

When I agreed, he asked for my phone and put his number in. “It’s a date,” he said, then his face flamed red. “I mean–it doesn’t have to be, it can just be–”

I held up a hand to make him pause, and sent him a message so he had my number as well. “It’s a date,” I confirmed.

And that’s how I got here, in this predicament where I don’t know how to feel. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have accidentally hit him with the cart and led myself down this path.

But I’m here now and I’m not backing down.

When I told Karuna, she was so happy for me. She told me this is a step in the right direction and reassured me that the abundance of feelings at odds with each other were normal. It’s all a part of the healing process.

The house I pull up in front of is nice, simple, and cozy. He left the light on outside for me, lighting the path to the front door. I get out of my truck, my feet hitting the pavement, and when I feel the pressure under the soles of my shoes, I’m hit with a jarring feeling that this is real, like really real. I’m doing this.

I’m going on a date with a man who isn’t Kian.

Hunter opens the front door at the same time I lift my foot to get back into my truck. I could do it, I don’t owe him anything.

He waves, with that big smile on his face and his cheeks slightly tinged pink. I’m not going to back out on him now. He doesn’t deserve that. I’m sure he’s worked hard and been excited for tonight, if his text messages that were filled with lots of emojis from earlier are any clue.

And I was excited, too. I am excited. I’m also feeling nervous, guilty, heartbroken, and scared, with a whole plethora of other random emotions tumbling around in my brain.

Me and Kian are over, I repeat to myself as I walk toward him.

I’m not cheating on him.

I can be happy. I need to be happy.

I’m standing in front of him, and the smells of garlic and bread are wafting out of the house. My stomach gives an appreciative rumble.

“Hi,” Hunter says, smiling up at me. He dressed casually for this date, and I feel like an idiot for trying on three different shirts when I could have shown up in anything and I doubt he would have cared. “You look handsome,” he says, roving his eyes over my body appreciatively. It doesn’t feel smarmy; it feels nice to have someone look at me and think I’m attractive.

“So do you.” I’m going to walk in here and I’m going to enjoy this time with Hunter. I’m going to give him my full attention and give this a chance.

He tips his head back to look at me and licks his lip, his interest shining brightly.

“Dinner’s ready,” he says. “I hope you’re hungry.”