13. Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Thirteen
“Once the initial excitement of successfully conceiving a child colours your life, it’s easy to become frustrated and dispirited about the length of the gestational period, especially during the first trimester. It’s a good idea to focus on other projects during this time in preparation for the baby.”
A Young Woman’s Guide to the Joy of Impending Motherhood
Dr. Francine Pascal Reid (1941)
D espite Coop’s and J.B.’s comments and warnings, I don’t remember ever taking longer to get ready for a date. I shaved my legs again, did my hair, changed my clothes at least six times, and basically wasted the day in anticipation of seeing David.
Just before I was about to leave, I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Instead of stopping at my place, they continued into the laundry room.
″Hey,” J.B. called out. “You still here?”
″I’m just about ready to leave,” I told him, following his voice into the hall. I’m always surprised how a laundry room can get so dirty. Cooper bought a bright blue washer and dryer last year but still hasn’t got around to taking out the old ones. The derelict machines now sit in a corner of the room, stacked with empty Tide containers, lint balls, and odd socks. I should make tidying up this room a priority.
J.B. started throwing his dirty clothes into the washing machine without separating the darks from the whites or anything .
″You look nice,” he told me, glancing up from his dirty clothes. “We couldn’t talk you out of it?”
″Nope.” It was nice to be reassured, especially with all the trouble I’d gone through to find the perfect outfit. “Don’t do that!” He’d just thrown a pair of black jeans into the washing machine with a tangle of underwear. “Colours stay separate. Do you want everything to turn grey?”
″And that’s how I get you to do my laundry,” J.B. grinned, stepping back and letting me take over. I just shook my head. I’m particular about laundry for some reason. And I love to iron, a trait of which Cooper and J.B., and now Emma, all take advantage.
″So who was your little friend this morning?” I asked coyly as I finished sorting his clothes.
″Aw, you know… she’s, uh—Christie. Her name is Christie,” J.B. managed reluctantly.
″How come you don’t have a problem razzing me about the guys I date, but when I try to turn the tables, you get all stammer-y and embarrassed?” I demanded, twirling around to face him with my hands on my hips.
″′Cause the guys you’re with never last for very long,” he retorted quickly. “And I’m not stammer-y—whatever that is.”
″To stammer,” I said pertly. “And at least my guys hang around for longer than a night. I—at least—get to know them, their full names and birthdays, at least. Why don’t you try—?”
″Don’t go there, Casey,” J.B. interrupted.
″Go where? I’m just saying I think it’s time you found a nice girl and settled down.” The strange thing is that as soon as the words tumbled out of my mouth, I realized that it was the last thing I actually wanted. Having him single and me—most of the time—unattached made me feel that we were sort of in this together. Like in When Harry Met Sally… and they talked about marrying each other if they didn’t find anyone else by a certain age. I like the thought of having someone like that in my life.
″You know.”
″Just trying to be a good friend. Cooper might have mentioned a Talia this morning…” I said before I told myself not to go there. I didn’t want him to think we were gossiping about him, even though that’s exactly what we were doing.
″I’m sure he mentioned a lot of things,” he said wryly. “Talia, Claire, Ruby… Betsey. The wife,” he explained at my expression of confusion.
″Her name is Betsey? I thought the card said Beth. ”
″Elizabeth, but everyone called her Betsey. Except for Ryan—the one who took her off my hands. Maybe that’s why she hooked up with him. She hated the name, and he always called her Beth,” he mused, like I was no longer in the room.
″There must have been more reasons than that!”
“Oh, probably, but it’s too nice a day to go there. And don’t you have a date or something? You do look nice, you know.” He glanced admiringly at my short white skirt and purple-flowered shirt for longer than he needed to.
″You already said that.” Now it was my turn to feel uncomfortable under his gaze.
″I thought it was worth saying again.” He smiled down at me, and I swear my heart did this humongous flip-flop in my chest. “Too bad it’s for this David guy. There’s still time to bail and come out with me, you know.”
″Thanks, but…” I could tell my cheeks were warm to the touch. I began to back slowly out of the room. “I’ve got to go.”
″It’s been twelve years—I think he can wait a little longer.”
″Okay, enough!” I said irritably in response to his sarcasm. “I said you can do the whole ‘I told you so’ if nothing happens, but until then, I’d appreciate a little support. Or at least some silence on the subject.”
″Look at your track record, Case. There’s no way it would work even if he wasn’t dredged up from your past. You have crappy luck with guys. Even without all the pressure with the baby thing, there’s a good chance you’d crash and burn.”
″That’s not very nice! Saying that you don’t think it would work out—how do you…?”
″Do you really think I want you to find someone it will work out with?” J.B. asked, turning back to his laundry.
″What’s that supposed to mean? You want me to be unhappy?”
″No. Not at all,” he said mildly. He leaned over and scooped up the pile of dark socks and gym shorts I’d left on the floor. “Hey, thanks for the laundry lesson.”
″Yeah.” To say I was confused about his words is putting it lightly. Did he not want me with David because he wanted me to be miserable or because he couldn’t stand the thought of me with another man? Neither option seemed overly realistic. I gave my head a shake and vowed to worry about it later. I was going out with David, and there was no sense dwelling on J.B.’s cryptic remarks. “You really should learn to do it yourself, you know.”
“Why bother when I’ve got you?” He smiled at me again, and I could see the creases around his bright blue eyes. He didn’t shave this morning, and his cheeks and chin were covered in scruff. I couldn’t help but think about how my face would be scratched if I kissed him.
″Oh. Look, I—”
″Go. Have fun. But not too much fun, you know. Make him wait a little longer, you know.”
″Yeah, I guess. See you.” Since when did J.B. give me dating advice? Or since when did I give him advice? You need a nice girl to settle down with. Where did that come from?
I was almost back in my apartment when J.B. called after me. “Hey, Case? You smell good, too.” Which of course made me smile again, but then I tripped over the doorjamb into my apartment. J.B. was obviously watching me because I could hear his stifled laugh.
″You okay?” he called.
″Fine. Just clumsy.”
As I left to meet David, I had all sorts of thoughts unrelated to David swirling around my mind. Damn him!
“Just like old times, eh?” David asked as we finally settled into our seats in the movie theatre. He gave me a wide smile that reached into his brown eyes. I wished my heart would flip-flop a little more when he smiled at me. It did a little flip, and that would have been perfectly acceptable had it not been for my earlier exchange with J.B. and the ensuing thoughts about his scruffy face. David had shaved perfectly for me. Not a trace of stubble or even any evidence of a nervous hand nicking his cheek. Stop thinking of J.B., I savagely ordered myself. Don’t compare the two. David, David, David, David….
″David,” I said aloud, “it is just like old times, isn’t it? You, me, at the movies? Just like it was yesterday, right, David?” He looked at me quizzically at the use of his name, but only nodded in agreement.
Okay, not starting out that great.
Why do people go to the movies on a first date? I can see when you’ve been together for a while and don’t have a need to talk and learn about each other. There was so much I wanted to learn about David, and I kind of felt like I had a deadline. Especially since I was being so easily distracted by silly thoughts of J.B. With all my might, I shoved any thoughts of J.B. Bergen firmly out of my mind and focused on David. David, David, David, David…
Despite the ease I felt around David on Saturday and how positive I’d been feeling (and how I sounded), it was at least halfway through the movie before I really began to relax. It wasn’t that David made me uncomfortable, but just that I was ultra conscious about everything about him. The way his laugh boomed out unexpectedly at the funny bits. The way his eyes narrowed when he was concentrating on the suspenseful parts. How long and tapered his fingers were as they dipped into the popcorn, and the tiny sizzle of electricity I felt when he absentmindedly reached over to snag one of my Fuzzy Peaches. After that happened, I’m glad to report the creases around J.B.’s blue eyes finally faded from my mind and I didn’t have to order myself to concentrate on David.
″Sorry,” he whispered. “Guess I should ask first.”
“It’s okay.” I smiled at him. That’s when I finally started to relax because that’s how it was with us. We would sit silently in the movie theatre, both of us concentrating solely on the celluloid world unfolding onscreen, never speaking until it was over. Even at the concession stand, it was like no time had passed. David remembered that I like extra butter on my popcorn, and asked them to shake it to make sure it all dripped into the bottom. He ordered me a bag of Fuzzy Peaches because that’s what I always would get, and got himself a box of raisin Glossettes to go with his 7-Up.
David offered me his box of raisins. “Do you like them yet?” he whispered.
″Still can’t stand them,” I grinned.
It was like I’d fallen back in time. Is that a good thing? Can you really go back again? There are so many aspects of my life that I would dread going back and redoing, but what about the four years I spent with David? Right now, that period in my life seems it has a rosy glow about it, giving me a lovely warm and fuzzy feeling. I was in university with David; my friendship with Morgan developed when I was with him. We studied together, argued politics and the ways of the world…
″Where were you when the World Trade Centre fell?” I asked him suddenly.
″What?” There was a car chase happening on-screen. Maybe I should have waited for one of the slow parts .
″9/11. I was just thinking about all the stuff that happened when we were together, and it just hit me that so much more has gone on since then and I don’t even know…” I shrugged helplessly. I wasn’t really sure what I was trying to express, but suddenly I had this need to find out all the bits of his life that I’d missed. I shared so much with David. You could say we grew up together, but did those years make him the man he was now? Did it make me the person I am now—kindergarten teacher, part-time wine store manager, with my hopeless romantic life and so desperate to have a baby? Is it because of David that I am who I am?
Is this getting way too deep for a Sunday movie night?
″Never mind,” I whispered to David.
He gave me another quizzical look. “I was traveling in Europe,” he said after a moment. “I was due to go home that weekend, but because of everything, it took me ten extra days to get a flight home. I was totally broke, and whenever I had to eat out, I would steal the breadbasket for the next meal.”
″Where in Europe?”
″Milan. I eventually went back to Rome, because I, uh, had met someone there so I could stay…” I raised my eyebrows in the ahh expression. Okay, I knew he hadn’t lived as a monk since I broke up with him. Hearing about other women isn’t that bad. “What about you?” he asked.
″I was teaching. Most of the kids got picked up early by their parents. There was a lot of crying, but most of them were too young to understand. They thought it was a movie.”
″Maybe it’s better that way.”
″Maybe.” Would I like to go through life innocently believing things were just like they were in the movies? If that’s the case, then things are looking good for me and David. If this were a movie, then we’ve already had our meet-cute moment at the wine store and are moving toward the start of the second act. Soon, we’ll have some sort of conflict that we’ll need to overcome before we come together for the crescendo of the movie’s love song. Sounds like a movie I might want to watch.
But with David as the romantic lead?
We were good together once and could be again. I’m a better person now, more mature and better prepared for the relationship and the life we could share together. If I could go back in time, it would be the years I spent with David that would definitely be the ones I would want to revisit .
I was heartened when, after the movie ended, David and I couldn’t stop talking. We started rehashing the film as we walked out of the theatre, and that led us to talking about other movies, and the next thing I knew, half an hour had gone by and we were still standing in the parking lot. Like on Saturday, it was like we’d slipped back into our twenty-year-old selves, but only more mature and worldly. I felt like I could stand there for hours talking, but all too soon, David started checking his watch.
″Oh, wow, Casey, I really have to get going,” David said regretfully. “I’ve got an early morning tomorrow.”
″That’s okay. I should get home, too.” I shifted uneasily. “David, I really—”
″There’s stuff I need to talk to you about,” David blurted out. “I wanted to tonight, but movies aren’t really the best place. Are you busy tomorrow night?”
″I am,” I admitted reluctantly, thinking of my long-standing date with Brit and Morgan and how I’d never broken plans with them because of a man. “I’ve got—”
″Tuesday then?” he asked before I could explain. “Maybe we can do dinner and talk?”
″Tuesday will be great.”
″Can I pick you up this time?”
I hesitated, but J.B and Cooper both work Tuesday nights, so it was safe. “Sure. I’ll text you my address.” I happened to glance in his car and the very messy interior. “You really need to clean up that mess,” I told him.
David smiled at me. “You always used to say that.” He put his hand on the side of my head, an affectionate gesture, reminiscent of stroking a dog. His hand was large and warm and smelled of popcorn. His eyes were warm and almost liquid. Something inside me melted. The part that hadn’t already melted when David first asked me out, that is.
″I did miss you, Casey,” he said softly.
″I missed you too, David.” Before I lost my nerve, I quickly leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. I smiled into his brown eyes as I pulled back.
″Ah,” is all he said and pulled away. “Tuesday, then. Lots to say.” I nodded, and he walked me over to my car. He was just getting into his as I drove away, waving.
I didn’t want to think about how David didn’t kiss me back.