Unlikely You (Sapph in the City #5)

Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Bren

That did not go the way I hoped it would. I couldn’t even go one entire day ignoring her while I was working. Most of the time I’d been doing my best not to look at her while also finding my eyes drawn to her as if my body couldn’t help itself. Her confusion and frustration came at me in waves, feeling almost like a physical touch. A painful one.

I was almost out of the woods when she came at me with those big sad eyes leaking tears and begging me to tell her what she’d done.

It wasn’t her fault, but I didn’t know how else to handle it. And then I’d made the mistake of actually looking into her eyes and had blurted out the whole thing.

Her initial reaction was shock that turned into excitement. She was happy that I was Bren and Bibliofile. And then when I couldn’t find any words to give her, she got angry with me.

That was completely unexpected.

She called me out, right in the marketplace. Flayed me with her words as easily as if she’d held a knife to my skin.

Then she’d left me standing there, wanting to look down to see if I was bleeding anywhere.

I wasn’t.

Somehow, I got my shit together and made it back to my apartment.

Expecting to have a message from Honey/Melliferal, I checked my phone but there was nothing. Huh. She was probably busy with her family.

For the rest of the night, I checked my phone every few minutes, but no messages from Honey/Mel while Arson snuggled in my lap. Seems she was giving me the cold shoulder.

I absolutely hated it, but I’d have to get used to it. This could be the perfect way to untangle myself from this complicated situation. Here was my out. Honey was pissed and didn’t want to talk to me. All I had to do was not message her. To keep the silent treatment going. After a while, she’d give up. Everyone had a different limit, but eventually, it would be too humiliating and not worth it to keep trying.

I wasn’t worth it. That I knew for a fact.

Honey would give up, and that would be that.

I just had to hold on until she gave up.

After a wretched night of sleep, I was in a shitty mood the next morning when I showed up at the marketplace. God, why did the Holloways have to have the table right next to mine? Why did Honey have to be a few feet away from me for four days a week? She was right there, and I had to pretend she wasn’t.

It was torture. Absolute torture. Every time I heard her lovely voice, I wanted to hang on every word. When she smiled at a customer, I wanted to run over and steal the smile for myself.

I’d never been a jealous person, but I didn’t know another word for the burning in my chest.

Everyone else got to bask in her light except for me. I’d banished myself to the darkness and now I was cursing my horrible luck.

I really must have done something terrible in a previous life.

The hours crawled by, and even though business was steady, I watched the big clock in the corner of the room like a hawk.

“Why are you mad at Honey?” a voice asked, and I snapped my eyes away from the clock to find Ellie Holloway standing in front of my table.

My day had just gone from bad to worse. If a hole opened up under my table to suck me down to the underworld, I would hop right in.

“I’m not mad at her,” I said immediately, but her eyes narrowed. Too perceptive for one so young. She was going to be holy terror when she got older.

“Then why aren’t you friends anymore?”

How in the hell could I explain the situation to this kid?

“It’s complicated,” I told her, but she just huffed and rolled her eyes.

“That’s what adults always say, but most of the time they’re lying.”

I let out a shocked laugh.

“You’re too smart for your own good,” I told her.

She grinned as if I’d given her the best compliment of her life. “People say that to me a lot.” I bet they did.

“In this case, it really is complicated. Has Honey told you anything?” I would assume she’d tell her siblings all about me and how awful I was.

Ellie shook her head. “No. But I know that she’s mad and sad at the same time and you’re avoiding each other.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry about that. I just don’t think we can be friends anymore.”

Fuck, I hated explaining this to her.

“Why not?”

I let out a sigh. “We just can’t.”

Ellie’s eyes narrowed.

“That’s not a good reason.”

It wasn’t, but it was all I had for her.

“I’m sorry,” I said, not sure why I was apologizing to this kid I barely knew.

“You should go back to being friends. You made Honey happy.”

Motherfucker. Now the sister was slicing me with words. Next thing the parents would be giving me a tongue lashing.

“I’m sorry,” I said again. She huffed again and went back to the table. Without looking over, I knew that Honey had been watching us.

This was a nightmare.

At last, the day ended and I braced myself for Honey to come and admonish me for being mean to her little sister, but she didn’t. She also hadn’t sent me any messages. Not as herself, and not as Melliferal.

I’d been scrolling back through our chat history and found myself smiling and laughing about our old jokes and silly things we’d shared with each other. In spite of not knowing names or anything else, I’d opened up to Melliferal in ways I hadn’t with anyone, maybe ever.

I’d never been safe enough to share those deep and quiet thoughts with my family and the last time I’d tried to get close to an online friend, she’d ended up turning on me and then ghosting me after accusing me of doing all kinds of things I’d never done. I was still hurt and confused about that whole thing.

And then I’d met Melliferal and had let myself trust someone new, against my better judgment. Now here she was, handling jars of hot honey just a few feet away. Real and beautiful and impossible.

No one said anything to me when I got up to leave, and I decided to count myself lucky that no one else in the Holloway family had decided to come and yell at me for making Honey sad.

Honey wouldn’t be sad for long. She’d find someone else. She had to.

Not wanting to go home and be bitter and alone, I decided to venture to Sapph and be bitter surrounded by people with a neon pink drink in my hand. I’d let the bartender talk me into one of the specials and it was like drinking a liquefied candy store, but for some reason the sweetness was working on me.

So many lovely people dancing and sweating and being free. It should have made me sad or angry, but it didn’t. I liked being near them. Kind of like how I liked being near Honey and her intrinsic sunshine.

Honey Holloway didn’t light up a room. She lit up the entire world. She lit mine up, at least. Blinded me with her intensity. Wiped out everything else but her.

Honey wasn’t here and I didn’t want her to be.

I didn’t.

I wasn’t going to be able to get rid of her if I kept pining for her.

Not pining. I wasn’t pining. I didn’t pine. Pining was for pathetic people.

“Hey gorgeous, can I buy you a drink?” a soft butch with an undercut and a sharp jaw asked me as she sidled up next to my stool.

“I’m good, thank you,” I said, not making eye contact.

“You sure?” she asked.

“Yup.”

I didn’t need anyone buying me drinks. I didn’t need anyone, period. My entire life I’d only relied on myself and things had turned out well. My business was successful, I had a somewhat decent apartment in a vibrant city, and I was sitting here at a sapphic bar enjoying myself.

Sure, I didn’t have a relationship, but that shit complicated life. I was busy, but my existence was simple. Planned. Uncomplicated (most of the time).

And boring as fuck.

God, I was so damn bored . I hadn’t even noticed until I’d started talking with Melliferal and then it had been even more apparent when I’d started talking with Honey.

Not only was she beautiful, but she was interesting, and I never really knew what she was going to say. Plus, she seemed interested in me. Honey coaxed and teased and pulled parts of me out that I’d ignored or forgotten or hadn’t been aware of.

I liked the version of myself I was around her.

“That was a heavy sigh,” the bartender said. I hadn’t realized I’d let out one out that anyone had been listening.

“Long day,” I said, because that was the thing you said.

“You want another?” I’d reached the bottom of my drink.

“Give me a SoCo and Coke with lime,” I said, falling back on my usual. I couldn’t handle another one of those too-sweet concoctions. Honey would probably love it.

“I’ll have the same,” a familiar voice said over my shoulder and I nearly slid right off my stool in my hurry to confirm it was her.

“What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?” she asked, leaning on one hip, a soft smile playing on her lips in the darkened room.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I croaked.

“You can put her drink on my tab,” Honey said, passing the bartender her card.

“You got it, doll,” the bartender said, and went to make our drinks.

“I promise I won’t make you spill this one.”

The stool next to me was empty, and Honey sat down. Too close. Way too close. Over all the smells that collided in the slightly warm air, I could smell Honey.

Sweet. So sweet.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice sounding like I was begging her to make me understand. Why did she keep infiltrating my life?

“Well, I was going to mope in my room about something, but I have a very wise aunt who told me not to do that. So here I am. Didn’t think I’d see you.”

She’d had no way to know that I’d be here. It was just a coincidence. No matter how I tried to get away from her, it was impossible. Honey Holloway was around every corner.

The bartender returned with our drinks and set them in front of us. Honey picked hers up and held it out toward me.

“How about we leave everything else aside for one night and just be Honey and Bren for a few hours?”

The hopefulness in her eyes was devastating. Saying no was impossible.

“Okay,” I said, tapping my glass gently to hers. We both sipped and she turned her head to the side as she considered the taste.

“That’s good. I like it.”

She gave me her full attention again. “So, how are you doing tonight?”

I almost opened my mouth and said, “better now” but I managed to stop myself at the last second.

She’d been the source of my misery and here she was as the cure. Being next to her made me feel better almost instantly.

“I’m doing fine. How are you?”

My body leaned toward her and she did the same, creating a little cocoon for both of us in the chaos of the bar.

Honey put her elbow on the bar and leaned her face into her hand.

“I’m pretty damn great, Bren. Pretty damn great.”