Unlikely You (Sapph in the City #5)

Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Honey

Bren was angry with me and I had no idea why. I had no idea what I could have possibly done. I’d gone over the book club meeting and tried to analyze every word I’d said to her and came up empty. There was nothing, which meant I had no idea how to fix it. What I needed to say to her to get her to look at me again.

Smiling and hawking honey and other products was a struggle when I could still hear Bren being kind to her customers while she was so viciously avoiding even looking at me.

I could feel her eyes on me, and I could feel the moment she turned if she thought I might glance her way.

“Why is Bren mad?” Ellie asked, leaning close to whisper to me.

“I don’t know,” I whispered back, stretching my hand out from holding the tray of samples. “I have no idea.”

Ellie turned her head to the side, her eyebrows drawing together as she thought.

“Maybe she’s not mad at you. Maybe she’s mad about something else.” But what? And why was she taking it out on me?

Nothing made sense and my stomach had been in knots all day about it.

Having Bren ignore me like this was awful. All I wanted to do was to go home and lay in bed and not talk to anyone. Hopefully while rain pattered gently on the windows and sad music played.

A few times I had to let go of my smile to give my face a break. I’d been avoiding my phone all day. This was something I’d talk to Bibliofile about and get her advice, but for some reason I was holding back on this.

Everything had been so good. I’d been excited to see Bren at book club and we’d been chatting and then…

This.

“You should talk to her,” Ellie announced as we were putting things away for the night.

“I don’t think she wants to talk to me.” Bren was sending me big red signals and I wanted to respect them.

“I still think you should talk to her. If you don’t, then you can’t figure it out. Maybe she needs a friend.”

Bren absolutely needed a friend, but was I the person to fill that role? Especially when I was hiding these other more intense and romantic and sexual feelings for her?

What a mess. What a sticky, messy mess.

I blew out a breath and risked a glance over at Bren. She was just standing in front of her table and staring straight ahead as if she had mentally checked out. Something was definitely wrong with her.

“Wish me luck,” I told Ellie as I crossed the short distance between me and Bren.

“Hey,” I said softly. “I know you’ve been avoiding me, but I was just curious why.”

My voice trembled a little as I spoke, and I didn’t miss that she flinched when she heard my voice.

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes and I took a deep breath. Shit. I wasn’t going to get through this.

“I just don’t…” she looked up at the ceiling and then glanced at me. “Fuck.”

The tears I’d been trying to hold back dripped down my cheeks and I hurried to brush them away. God, how embarrassing.

“I’m sorry. For whatever I did,” I said with my shaking voice. “Everything seemed fine and then today you look like you hate me.”

Bren reached out with both hands and then froze.

“I don’t hate you. I wish I did.” She whispered the last part.

“Why?” I’d missed something that had happened with her.

She opened her mouth to say something and then grabbed her phone instead. She typed out a message and then looked up at me.

“What was that?” I asked.

“Check your phone.” I’d had mine on silent all day.

There was a new message from Bibliofile.

Hey Honey Bea it said.

“What?” I asked, looking up at Bren.

“I’m Bibliofile,” she said, but the words weren’t making sense to my reality.

“You can’t be Bibliofile.” That wasn’t possible.

“You can check my message log. Or send me a message back.”

I decided to do that.

Bren?

It’s me she responded in the Bibliofile chat.

“How? I don’t…” I trailed off, at a complete loss for words.

“I know,” she said. “I have no idea how it happened, but I got that message you send Biblio last night and I knew. That was why I went to the bathroom. Because I flipped out a little. I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” I said. Such a small insignificant word that encompassed so much.

I stared down at my phone as if it would explain to me how this could have happened.

“You’re Bibliofile?” I had to have her confirm it again.

Bren nodded. “And you’re Melliferal.”

“Bees are called Apis Mellifera. I just tweaked the word a little.” I’d thought it was so cute and clever at the time.

Bren nodded slowly. “That makes sense now that you say it. Feels obvious.”

“I can’t…I can’t believe this is happening. That you’re her .” Two people I’d developed feelings for were really just the same person. Two sides of Bren and I’d fallen for both of them.

This was a disaster of epic proportions.

“And she’s you,” she said slowly. Bren wouldn’t look directly in my eyes and I realized why.

“You didn’t want to tell me.”

She shook her head slowly and met my eyes. “No. I didn’t. This was exactly what I was hoping to avoid.” Bren let out a long exhale and pressed her lips together. She’d been upset about finding out that I was Melliferal.

She was angry and I was both stunned and excited.

“What are you going to do now?” The shock of finding out was wearing off and other emotions were jostling for control.

Bren hadn’t planned on telling me and her plan had been to avoid me. To hope that she could cut off contact with both me and Melliferal and I’d just go away and leave her alone. So she could be alone.

No. I wasn’t going to let that happen.

I crossed my arms and waited for her to speak.

“I don’t know,” she said, running her hands through her hair. “I don’t fucking know, Honey. This is all…it’s too much. It’s way too much.”

Too bad.

“I know what you want to do. You want to push me away. To pull back and hope that if you ignore me, eventually I’ll go away. It’s the reason you didn’t want to talk about anything personal with Melliferal.”

Anger flashed through me and I didn’t know how to push it away.

“You are so scared of letting anyone know you, Bren, but it’s too late. I know you and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

I breathed hard, as if I’d just run up the stairs and I’d moved closer to her. Bren’s eyes went wide.

“If you want to get rid of me, you’re going to have to work pretty damn hard.”

“Honeyyyyyy,” Ellie called. “Can you help me?” I didn’t know why Ellie chose that moment to need my attention when Archer, Ember, and my parents were here, but I stepped back from Bren.

Lifting one hand I pointed at her. “I know you, Bren Hendrix.”

And there was nothing she could do about it.