Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
“I owe you an explanation.”
That was probably the understatement of the century. From the moment I saw Cole and Adam standing on my doorstep, all I could think of was how to explain everything to him. It was bad enough seeing the look on my brother’s face when he put the pieces together. I hadn’t even dared to look at Adam.
Since I landed in Texas, I’d drafted fifteen different text messages to him and started so many calls that I ended before the phone ever rang. I told myself it wasn’t worth it, that when he saw the real me, the real obligations in my life, he’d never want to talk to me again.
I hadn’t counted on him showing up here.
After my heart-wrenching conversation with Cole, my emotions were wrung out, and I had little energy left. But after our time together, I owed Adam an explanation—or at least some closure so we could both move on.
I toyed with my fingers, trying to figure out how to start, but Adam beat me to it. He shook his head, tucking his hands into his pockets. “You don’t owe me anything, Victoria.”
Victoria . It was funny to hear my name cut through me. Adam rarely called me by my full name. After the first day together, I was always Tori, and recently, he’d called me trouble. I never thought I’d relish hearing my childhood nickname, but with Adam, it took on another meaning. It made me feel like I was testing his control as much as he was testing mine.
“I should have told you about Emilia.” I rubbed my stinging eyes on the sleeve of my cardigan. “It probably makes me sound like a selfish jerk?—”
“You don’t.” His words were almost forceful, and I made myself meet his eyes. I was expecting some hostility and anger at the secrets I had kept from him, but instead, all I saw was understanding. He tilted his head, giving me that side smile I’d grown attached to already. “You don’t owe me your secrets, Victoria. If you want to hold some things close to your chest, I get it after everything you’ve been through. Do I hate that Cole found out this way? Of course. But I was right there with you during the worst of his dark period. I get wanting to make sure things were good before bringing him into your daughter’s life.”
My jaw dropped, and I stared at him like I was seeing him for the first time. He was the only one who understood my reasoning without question. Not even my parents agreed with my choice, thinking I was being too hard on Cole. And maybe I was, but I had to see him for myself. Anyone I brought into Emilia’s life had to be in it for the long haul, and Cole had proven that during my visit. It was tempting to tell him before I left, but something like this needed to be a real conversation, not something quick to squeeze in while I was packing .
To be honest, this surprise visit was a blessing in disguise. Cole got to meet Emilia, and we had the opportunity to sit down and have an honest talk about what had happened years ago. While there were still a lot of things I was holding back, it felt good to have this secret no longer hanging over my head.
But I never thought Cole would bring Adam along.
While we were talking, I couldn’t help but watch him with Emilia. She was just as enchanted by his easy presence as I was. I kept expecting him to ask for space or find excuses to get out of her game. My daughter was my pride and joy, but I was under no illusion that she was a little angel. She’d developed quite a sassy attitude for her pint-sized frame, and as much as it taxed us sometimes, Cam and I didn’t want to squash any of her spirit. So, as long as she was kind, we could take a little sass from time to time.
None of that seemed to phase Adam. Instead, he sat on the floor, listening to her tea party demands. My heart almost burst out of my chest when she gave him her favorite tiara. He wore it like a badge of honor, not having any idea how much that dinky piece of plastic meant to her.
I ducked my head down, not wanting Adam to see the adoration written on my face. These feelings shouldn’t be there, at least not yet. After all, we’d only spent a few days together and shared one magical kiss. That shouldn’t be enough to feel this pull.
But standing here, in my disorganized living room, all I wanted was to run into his arms, to let him kiss away all my anxieties from the past few days, first with Emilia being sick and then trying to figure out what I was going to do about Adam. Even though I tried to leave my feelings behind in Saint Stephen’s Lake, they refused to let go, daring me to call him and tell him all my concerns .
Closure , I told myself. This is just closure. Adam was a movie star, with his pick of every beautiful woman on the planet. There was no way he’d ever want to stick around now that he knew I was a mom and tied down to his hometown. The best thing to do was clear the air and then forget what happened between us. I chewed on my lower lip, sparing a look at the front door before continuing, “Look, about the kiss…”
“It was amazing.”
My eyes widened as I looked at Adam. He shrugged his shoulders, and an easy smile graced his lips. “Last time, I fumbled my words, and you got the wrong idea, so I didn’t want to take any risks now.” He stepped forward, lowering his voice. “That was the best fucking kiss of my life, Tor.”
“It was?” My voice came out almost screechy, and I was sure I must be dreaming. That was it. I was still in bed, trying to catch up on two days of horrible sleep.
Adam came to my side, lacing my pinkie finger with his. “Is that so hard to believe? Pretty sure you almost killed me, trouble.”
“I don’t understand.” I shook my head. “I wanted to keep going, so why did you stop?”
He sighed, shifting around to sit on the edge of the couch. “I’m sure you’ve heard about my reputation, read articles about my dating life.”
“Maybe a couple,” I laughed. “They called you the Heartbreak Prince?”
“Such a stupid fucking nickname.” He cringed. “I’ve been trying to work through some things. I don’t want to be that guy anymore, and especially not with you.” He reached out and ran his thumb along my jaw. “I want to do right by you.”
I shook my head, still not fully comprehending the words coming out of his mouth. “But that was before you saw all this.” I motioned around the room. “This is my life. It’s not glamorous. Emilia is the center of my world, and she can be a lot to handle. It’s messy and loud, and often, glitter covers every surface. But as long as she’s happy and loved, that’s all I can ever ask for.” I reached out and placed my hand on top of his. “That moment was amazing, but that was all it was: a moment. This isn’t what you want, Adam. It’s too complicated.”
“I don’t mind complicated,” he said. “Is this about Emilia’s dad?”
“Cam?” I chuckled. “No, not at all. We’ve been over for a long time, but we’re still close friends. This is about you and what you deserve. I don’t want you saddled with me and all my baggage.”
His blue eyes narrowed, standing so he hovered over me. His hand shifted to the nape of my neck, shifting me so our chests were touching. “Listen here, trouble. I’ve fought hard for everything in my life, and you are no exception. I don’t know why you have it in your pretty little head that your life is too complicated for me, but that’s nonsense. I want you and everything that comes with you. I’m not asking for forever, Tor, just a chance to see what this could be.” He lowered his face so his lips were only a breath from mine. With the slightest shift, I’d get to taste him again, get to melt in his embrace. “Take that chance with me?”
I wanted so badly to say yes, to dive in with him despite my insecurities, but there was still too much unknown, too many factors that could change how he felt about me. Sure, he had spent an hour playing with Emilia, but would he still want to stick around when she was crawling into bed at four in the morning or vomiting all over the living room? Besides, my life was here, and it was a far cry from his world. It wouldn’t even make sense to try, not when it was destined to fail.
But when I looked into his gaze, all I could see was a good man staring at me, asking me for a chance. And as much as I didn’t know Adam Rice, the movie star, this Adam, the one who had been there for me all week, who had given me the best kiss of my life—he was the kind of man who was worth the risk.
“Okay,” I exhaled.
Adam’s face lit up. “Yeah?”
I couldn’t help but grin at the excitement on his face. “Okay, let’s see where this goes. I still don’t know how it’ll all work out in the long run,” my eyes met his, “but I want to try to see what could be between us.”
He smiled then softly pressed his lips to mine. It was barely a kiss, more a promise of more, but it was enough to light my entire body in flames, enough to make my thigh clench in need. “Good,” he whispered as he pulled back. “Because I’m not going anywhere.”