Chapter 19
NINETEEN
Dinner was a tense, awkward affair. Despite Emilia’s lighthearted questions and Cam trying to steer all the conversations to safe topics, they inevitably turned to painful parts of our past. Emilia was very curious about her new uncle, demanding to know why he’d never been to any of her birthday parties. Every question out of her little mouth seemed to put my brother more on edge, but he answered all of them. After he promised to make up for it, she seemed satisfied, moving her chair over to sit closer to him. Once she was settled, we eventually stumbled onto a safe topic: Cam’s baseball career.
“Yeah, I’m just on one of the farm teams right now,” Cam said between bites of chicken casserole. “I’m hoping to make it up to the majors in the next year or two. New York or Boston would be my ideal choice, but everyone wants to play for those major brands.” He shrugged, leaning back to muss up Emilia’s hair. “So we’ll see.”
Cole’s eyes darted to me. “And you’re going with him?”
“Oh…” I said, almost choking on my bite of food. “We haven’t really talked about that yet. I guess we were waiting to see what happens before making any major decisions.” I looked down at my daughter, staring at her empty plate. “Why don’t you go play, baby?”
She didn’t wait another second, taking her plate to the sink before running into the living room.
Cam smiled at Cole once she was out of earshot. “Obviously, I want Emilia around all the time, but during the season, my life is chaos, and there’s a lot of times I’m not home for weeks. So, if the time comes and Vic wants to settle somewhere else, I’ll follow her lead. She’s already given up a lot for me, and I wouldn’t want her to sacrifice anything else. She’ll always have a home here too.”
Apparently, his answer appeased my brother, because he nodded along with Cam’s words, but Adam kept staring as if he was measuring up his competition. I wanted to laugh at the thought. Cam and I were family, but I wasn’t in love with him—I hadn’t been for a long time. And as much as I appreciated his parents giving me this cabin so we could all be close, with Adam sitting here, it felt a little off—a little too close for comfort.
Cole leaned back in his chair. “When’s your next travel stretch?”
“Actually, next week,” Cam answered. “We’re heading off to Arkansas for a couple weeks, and then we’ll be traveling around Texas. Why?”
My brother shifted, looking at me. “I'm throwing this out there, but I’m not looking for an answer right now. Since Cam’s going to be traveling and I can’t really leave Alex alone during our busy season, what if you and Emilia come back with us for a while?”
“What?” I asked, almost dropping my fork.
“I want to spend more time with you, Tor. A couple of days wasn’t enough.” He smiled down at Emilia. “I want to get to know my niece better too.”
My mouth hung open, staring at the three men watching me expectantly. But Emilia answered first, having overheard his question from the other room. She gave my brother a scrutinizing stare. “What kind of things would we do?”
Cole looked at me as he stumbled over his words. “All kinds of things,” Adam jumped in, not missing a beat. “Do you like apple picking?”
Her eyes opened wide. “I love apples!”
“Where we live, there are amazing orchards. They let you pick all the apples you want. They also have pumpkins and hayrides.”
“Really?” she asked, her eyes getting bigger with each passing breath.
“Oh yeah, fall is a big deal in our town. There’s even a really cool festival with apple and pumpkin-flavored treats, pony rides, and games.”
“Oh my gosh,” she muttered, placing her hands on her cheeks. “I can’t believe it. Mommy, we have to go.”
“We’ll see,” I said, narrowing my gaze at Adam. “We have some things to talk about first.”
She sighed a huff but then went back to playing, talking to her dolls about everything Adam had just said. I looked at my brother. “I…I don’t know. It’s not like we can just take off. We have a life here.” I glanced at Emilia again. “I need to think about it.”
He nodded, smiling at me. “Take all the time you need. I just wanted to give you the option. You’re always welcome with us.”
My heart galloped in my chest, wanting nothing more than to scream yes. And maybe if it was just me, I would have, no questions asked. The idea of going back to the town that had embraced me and made me feel like myself again was more than I could ever ask for. I’d get to spend more time with Cole, Alex, and especially Adam. The idea of giving us some time to get to know each other better made my cheeks flush, wishing we were already there. But the truth was, it wasn’t only me. It hadn’t been for a long time.
Excuses had already formed in my mind when Cam tapped my elbow, motioning toward the front door. “Come on, Vic. Let’s get some air.”
I nodded, getting up to join him. But as he placed his hand on my back, I couldn’t help but turn over my shoulder to meet Adam’s eyes, noting how they were glued to where Cam was touching me.
That should have been a red flag, should have been a hint I might be in over my head with him. But instead, it filled me with a warmth I’d never experienced before.
“I think you should go.”
Cam’s words almost knocked the wind out of me. We walked through the fields behind the house, checking each of the flower beds as we went. This was my small contribution to the lot, wanting to do something to make it feel more like ours. The cabin was designed for ranch hands, with no frills and no fuss. We’d managed to make it a little cozier, but it was small, even for just the two of us. At least out here, we had room to run and play all day. And color.
My little girl loved to color over every surface, but I never felt bold enough to paint the walls inside. As much as I appreciated that Cam’s parents let me stay here, this would always be their property, their home. But out here, I was able to grow wildflowers and other plants, letting them thrive and grow strong. Hues of pink, purple, and yellow filled my sight, making me smile. This was my way of giving her the colors she craved.
“Don’t look so shocked,” Cameron laughed. “Cole’s right. And as much as it’ll suck not to have you guys so close, I’m barely going to be home. Hadley’s already on her way back to school, and your classes are all online. Besides Emilia, what’s keeping you here?”
My mouth tensed at his words. I knew he meant it to be encouraging, but it also highlighted how shallow my life had become. Was that really all I had tying me to this town?
I thought back to Saint Stephen’s Lake and how full my days were. I’d spend my days with Cole and Alex, stopping by for lunch and little trips into town. Adam was also constantly by my side, pushing me and helping guide me into this new chapter of my relationship with Cole. It was strange; for so long, I’d felt like an afterthought. With Cam’s family, I was usually the plus one, welcomed but more so because Emilia was by my side. I hadn’t made any new friends since I left college, and the people I’d met at the playground or in town were more interested in playdates and free childcare than getting to know me. So, knowing I had people who wanted to spend time with me, as just me, made me feel special in a way I hadn’t in years.
Obviously, it would be different if I decided to return with Emilia, but a small smile filled my face at the thought.
“You know I’ll never tell you what to do, Vic,” Cam sighed. “But next year, Emilia’s going to be starting school, and who knows where we’ll be. Take the chance while you have it.”
Be brave.
Adam’s voice sent a chill down my spine, remembering the last time he whispered those words to me. As much as I hated to admit it, they were right. Would it really be the worst thing to take Emilia to New York and let her experience life outside of this tiny town?
And not to mention, it would allow me to explore this newfound connection with Adam. The idea of spending more time with him made my skin flush, and I hated how desperate I already felt for his touch. As much as I knew I loved Cam once, I’d never craved him like I did Adam. There was this need to be close to him, as if I couldn’t stand any space between us at all. It made no sense, not after only a few days back in each other’s orbit. But standing near him felt like my world was spinning even faster, and I wanted to be brave enough to face it with him.
Silently, Cam and I walked back into the house, giving each other one last look before I turned back to Adam and Cole. With a shy smile, I said, “I’m in.”