29. Greer
29
Greer
A s Luke stows his phone in his backpack, a sudden tug of worry and anxiety needles my stomach. It’s like I hear the ticking of time, the real world waiting for us just beyond the bubble we’ve created.
“Everything good?” I ask when he joins me, sitting on the bank of the stream.
“Yeah. Chief called. Sounds like there’s a pretty good fire getting started back home.”
“No shit?” Vinnie says. “Where?”
“I didn’t ask,” Luke says.
“Does that mean we need to head home?” I can’t mask the disappointment in my voice.
He reaches forward and pulls me next to him. “Nope. I told him I’m not available until I get back.”
“Damn,” Sutton says. “I never thought I’d ever hear you say something like that.”
“Things are different now.”
“How so?” I ask.
“Work will always be there, but my friends and family might not be. I want my memories to be filled with moments like this.” He gestures to our group and leans over, kissing me.
We do just that. After our hike, we go ziplining and fill our weekend making every moment count, creating new memories. But time flies when you’re having fun. Isn’t that how the saying goes? And before any of us are ready, it’s time to head home.
Back to our lives. Back to the real world.
Looking around my classroom, anticipation crackles in the air. Rows of desks wait patiently for my new little friends, our walls are covered with brightly colored posters, and this teacher is ready for her new adventure. My phone pings with a message.
Sutton : I have to ask, what is your plan for tomorrow?
Earlier today, I finished my back-to-school meetings, so I’ve been given the remaining days before school starts next week to work in my classroom. I’ve learned my lesson throughout the years—if the school gives you time to work, you work, because once the school year begins it’ll be a chaotic whirlwind until May. I stare at Sutton’s messages, taking a deep breath.
Tomorrow.
One year since the accident.
One year from almost losing my life.
One year from losing my husband.
One year since my life was shattered.
When we returned home from our weekend trip, Luke had to report for duty. His chief called him about the fire, although slowly being contained, it's still a risk to some nearby areas. Luke took another crew to relieve the first. He's had spotty signal, so we haven’t gotten to talk very much, which has been hard.
Me : I’ll go see Brian.
I know that much is true. Truth be told, I haven’t been back to visit his grave since the funeral. It was too much, too hard. I haven’t spoken to Brian for a few weeks. I haven’t needed to, not with Luke and my new friends in my life. It’s important for me to go there now. To tell him I’m okay.
Sutton : Do you want us to come with you?
Me : Nah, you guys don’t want to hang around a graveyard.
Navy : We will for you.
And don’t I know it. If I’ve learned anything this summer, it’s that your people will never back away from the hard stuff. They’ll stand by you through thick and thin.
Me : I’m not even sure if Luke will be home.
Sutton : He will be. And if he’s not, we are.
Me : I’ll be at the cemetery around ten, but you don’t have to come.
Navy : We got you, G.
The school is blessedly silent for the rest of the day. Most teachers finish up early to get a jump-start on their final long weekend of summer. I keep busy writing lesson plans all the way into the evening. As the sun begins its descent beneath the horizon and my room darkens to a burnt orange, I know it’s time to head home. Another message pings through as I pull into my driveway.
Luke : Missing you.
Me : Missing you too.
Luke : I’m sorry I’m not there with you. Sometimes, I really hate my job.
Me : No you don’t. I also know you’d be here if you could be.
Me : It’s hard, missing out on so much, huh?
Luke : Yeah. About tomorrow?
Me : I’m going to go see Brian.
Luke : That’s what I figured. Will you be okay?
Will I be okay? I’ve asked myself that same question a million times over the past year. But now I’m not lying when I answer.
Me : Yeah, I will be.
Luke : I love you, sweetheart.
Me : I love you too.
Duke greets me with plenty of jumps and kisses as I open the door. I place my bags down on a stool at the island. My house is quiet, almost too quiet. Melancholy surrounds me as I head to my bedroom to wash off the day and put on my jammies.
Just as I’m slipping my feet into a pair of fuzzy socks, a knock echoes at my door. In a daze, I shuffle toward it, feeling outside my own body, as if I'm watching myself from afar. Duke jumps and barks at my heels, but I barely register it. Without a second thought, I open the door—and my heart drops.
“Hey, baby girl,” my mom says. She and my dad stand just beyond my welcome mat. “Want some company tonight?”
“Y-Yes, I do.” I’m already crying as Dad approaches, pulling me into a warm embrace. Mom wraps her hands around us both, providing a steady comfort I've always been thankful for.
“We’ve got you, sweetie,” Mom whispers into my hair.
“Oh, you beat us!” Brushing tears out of my eyes, I look up to find Navy and Sutton waiting at the end of my walkway, laden down with pizza boxes and grocery bags, reminiscent of the first time they came to my house.
“What are you two doing here?” I’m confused but elated to see them. I thought I wanted to be alone, but I'm glad they know me better than I know myself.
“As if we’d let you be alone,” Navy says, shooting me a look of incredulity as she squeezes past my parents.
“We’re here for you, G,” Sutton says, shrugging her shoulders before heading past us into my house.
“C’mon, Greer,” Dad says, taking my hand. “Let’s go inside.” He leads me through the door and shuts it behind us. Instantly, the heavy cloud of grief that weighed on my house, fractures and dissipates, replaced by the comforting noise of family and love. For the first time, I feel truly grateful—and at peace—knowing I no longer have to grieve alone.
We spend most of the evening spread out on the couch eating pizza, laughing, and telling stories. We talk about the concert, Sutton’s interest in interior design, and Navy’s possible business venture with Ground Up. We even talk about Brian. The girls help me unpack all the boxes from the storage unit. Most of the mementos are placed into the storage chest Luke bought me. Sutton even brought a special garment bag to protect my wedding gown. We all wipe tears away as I tuck the ring box on top and close the lid.
Eventually, Mom and Dad head home. Hugs and I love yous and we’ll see you tomorrows rustle the atmosphere on their way out.
“Thank you for coming over,” I tell the girls.
“You know we’re here for you,” Sutton says, tucking her feet under her body.
“Do you need to get back to Rowan?” I ask Navy.
“Nope. He’s with his dad.” Navy pulls a fluffy blanket from my wicker basket, before burrowing into the corner of the other couch like a mole.
“It’s getting late, though,” I say. “Don’t you both want to head home?”
“Nope,” they say in unison. My brows knit together.
“We told you, Greer,”—Sutton reaches over to squeeze my foot—“we got you.”
The dam holding back my tears breaks loose again. You’d think I’d have no tears left tonight. Navy and Sutton squish in around me on the couch. Navy tucks me against her shoulder and pats my back like I’m a small child.
“Let’s head to bed,” Sutton whispers.
They guide me to my bedroom and start turning down the sheets while I brush my teeth. Duke’s claws click against the floor as he circles his bed before settling in. I turn off the light and head back to my bedroom. A laugh escapes when I see Navy and Sutton tucked under my covers, leaving just enough space for me between them. But this time, as I lie in the middle, I won’t be alone.
Wiping more tears, I crawl over Navy’s legs and wiggle my way into the bed. Sutton tucks the blankets around us, and they turn on their sides, wrapping an arm around my stomach.
“This is another first,” I say.
“First?” Sutton asks at the same time Navy says, “First time sleeping with two women?”
We can’t contain our giggles as we burrow deeper under the covers. Darkness settles in my room, the only light being a faint glow from a streetlight that peeks through my blinds. Little do I know this will only be the first of many sleepovers to come.
“What’s up with you and Hunter?” Navy asks Sutton.
“I’ll answer,” she says, “if you plan on telling us about you and Vinnie.”
“Easy,” Navy says, “he likes me, or at least he thinks he does. He said as much at the bar that night on our trip. Problem is, he’s not really my type. He took it pretty well though, and I got to play wingwoman for him.”
“What is your type?” I ask.
“Not too sure any guy can handle me,” Navy says. “Rowan’s father didn’t want to.”
“Your guy is out there,” Sutton says with a soft smile. “When you least expect him, there he’ll be.”
“So . . .” I say, elbowing Sutton lightly in the ribs. “What's up with you and Hunter?”
“Hunter and I”—she takes a deep breath—“have a lot of history, so it's complicated.”
“You ever going to tell us the story there?” Navy asks.
Sutton contemplates this as she fingers the fringe on the comforter. Several minutes pass, and I’m certain she’s not going to answer, but then she says, “I’m just not sure the timing will ever work. Maybe we’re not meant to be.”
“Why do you think that is?” Navy asks on a yawn.
Sutton looks at me then. I see the confession right there at the tip of her tongue. “Not sure,” she says, covering her face with one hand. “I guess there are some things I’ll never know.”
I give her a sad smile, knowing she must have more to say.
“You talk to Luke tonight?” Navy asks.
“He texted me earlier when he was about to have dinner. I really wish he were able to be here. As weird as it sounds, I’d like Brian to meet him.”
“That doesn’t sound weird at all,” Sutton says. “I know my brother. He’ll be there.”
My eyes fall shut as exhaustion overtakes my body and mind. No matter what you do, you can’t pause time or speed it up. It passes regardless of your opinion. I knew I couldn’t stop the anniversary of the accident and Brian’s death from coming. Honestly, I feared I would have to face this last first alone. Like I did so many others.
“I’m really glad you’re both here.” Reaching beneath the covers, I take their hands in mine. “Thank you for tonight.”
Navy rolls over and sleepily says, “No thank yous needed.”
“No matter what, Greer,” Sutton says, “we’ve got you.”