Chapter Ten
chapter ten
PAIGE
The wedding venue is beautiful. The decorations are tasteful. The bridesmaid dresses complement the color palette—and surprisingly aren’t ugly. Because I came from out of town, I couldn’t try on my dress until last night at the rehearsal, but it fits perfectly.
Marina apologized profusely for me having to walk down the aisle with John, but because their wedding party consists of five couples, it would be rude to ask another couple not to walk down the aisle together.
So, I had no choice but to walk arm in arm with John while Phoebe guiltily stared at us from the sidelines. He tried to apologize again, but I told him to save it. After this is over, I have no intention of ever seeing any of these people again. London is no longer my home—and if I’m honest, it hasn’t been since my mom died. It’s time to move forward, and when I get on the plane on Monday morning, I plan to do just that.
Last night was hard, coming to the realization that I not only wasted years with John, but because of the distance, Nate can’t be in my future either.
It’s not that I’m desperate to be with a man, but it hurts to keep letting people in, only for them to disappoint, die, or disappear.
I gave my mom my heart—and she left me.
I gave it to my dad—and he no longer wanted it.
John stomped on it.
And Nate…well, I think he would gladly take it, but I can’t give it to him because I have no doubt that if I do, what’s left of my fragile organ will end up shattered. Maybe it could be different with Nate, but relationships are already hard as it is, let alone adding distance to the mix. So, instead of setting us up for failure, it’s best that we don’t attempt it.
When I leave here and go back home, my plan is to focus on myself. I’ve spent so much time trying to make other people happy that I haven’t considered what I need and deserve.
With my mom, it was all about her because she was sick—yet she still gave up and died.
With my dad, I tried to be a good daughter, hoping I would be enough for him after my mom passed away—but he still got himself a new family.
With John, I put my career and feelings on the back burner, wanting to be everything he needed in a partner—but he still cheated on me.
And with Nate, sadly, I’ll never find out.
“Do you, Paul Sullivan, take…”
As the bride and groom recite their vows, I tune them out, not in the mood to listen to two people profess their love for one another.
Instead, my thoughts go back to last night. I was in such a poor mood after seeing John and Phoebe that I went straight to the bar to have a drink—which turned into several more.
It wasn’t the fact that they were together that had me upset. The truth is, they barely touched each other all night. It was that they—and what feels like everyone else—get to create a life with the person they love.
My best friend, Ana, found her husband when she was only supposed to be using him to get control of her dad’s company. Now, they’re married with two precious little ones and beyond happy.
My other friend Kira was hired as a nanny by Kingston’s CFO, Ryder. They fell in love and are about to be married next month. They found the person they wanted to spend their life with, and they get to be with them.
Meanwhile, I found someone I could see a future with. A man who is so good that he brought me back to my room and took care of me while I was drunk, left pain relievers and water on the nightstand, and had breakfast and coffee delivered this morning, but instead of getting to see where things go, I have to get on a plane and try to forget he ever existed.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride,” the officiant announces, zapping me out of my self-loathing thoughts .
I exhale a sigh of relief that this ordeal is half over. My goal is to go to the reception and be announced with the rest of the bridal party and then skip out when no one is looking. I doubt anyone would notice anyway.
Marina and Paul kiss, and everyone claps, and then we all file out so we can take pictures before the reception starts.
As I stand next to John, forced to smile, I consider getting drunk again to numb the pain of the loneliness I feel.
“You look beautiful,” John whispers, making me roll my eyes. “I was hoping we could talk…”
“There’s nothing to say,” I mutter, keeping my smile plastered on my face.
The pictures thankfully go quickly, and soon enough, we’re being announced. The bride and groom have their dance, followed by the bride dancing with her father, and then the bridal party is called to the dance floor.
One dance , I remind myself, and then I can get the hell out of here.
John places his hands on my hips, and I wrap mine around his neck, and even though our bodies are close, I’ve never felt so alone in my life. As we sway to the song, I can’t help but look at how happy everyone is. The bride and groom are laughing and kissing, so deeply in love and looking forward to what the future holds. Couples are talking and smiling, dancing.
I don’t even realize I’m crying until John squeezes my arm, and I look up at him.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs. “I fucked up. I was lonely and?—”
“These tears aren’t for you,” I snap, angrily swatting them away.
“Look, I know?—”
“Excuse me,” a masculine voice cuts in. One I’d recognize anywhere. It’s deep and throaty, and I have no doubt I’ll be fantasizing about it for months after I leave London.
I glance over and find none other than Nate standing in front of John and me, dressed sharply in a black suit. His hair is styled, and he’s trimmed his beard. He looks like sex on a stick.
“Who are you?” John asks, not even attempting to hide his jealousy.
“Paige’s date,” Nate states without sparing John another glance. “You look devastatingly gorgeous,” he tells me, his eyes staying trained on mine. “May I have this dance?”
“It’s for the bridal party,” John spits out.
“I’d love to,” I say to Nate, backing out of John’s hold and going straight into Nate’s arms.
He gives me a soft smile, wraps his arms around me, and glides us away from John, leaving him standing there, looking dumbstruck.
“What are you doing here?” I whisper as we slow dance.
“I heard you needed a date,” is all Nate says before he leans down and kisses each of my cheeks, where my traitorous tears were still lingering.
I should probably push him away and tell him this can’t be happening because spending more time with him will only hurt more when I have to leave, but the fact that he showed up without me asking has my heart swelling inside my chest.
So, instead of arguing, I place my head against his shoulder, inhaling his warm and sensual scent, and murmur, “Thank you.”
“Anytime,” he says, tightening his hold on me. “And I wasn’t kidding when I said you look gorgeous. The way this dress accentuates your curves…” He glides his hands down to my ass and gives it a squeeze. “I’m tempted to find the closest restroom and fuck you against the wall.”
His words go straight to my lady parts as I imagine him doing just that, and I glance around the room, wondering if I can spot a restroom.
Instead of finding one though, my gaze lands on John and Phoebe sitting at the table. John is glaring daggers my way, and Phoebe is looking from John to me with hurt etched in her features.
“Ignore him,” Nate says. “He fucked up, and now, he’s regretting it.”
“But why?” I ask, confused. “He did this. He wanted her. He chose her.”
“Because”—Nate palms the side of my face, tilting it up so I’m looking at him—“you’re not the kind of woman men get over. Your smile, your laughter, your sexy body…everything about you is addictive. That asshole left and found a warm body to try to fill in your absence. But now that you’re here, he’s wishing he hadn’t fucked up.”
Nate leans in closer and presses an open-mouthed kiss on the sensitive part of my neck. “He’s watching us,” he whispers as he trails kisses along my jawline. “Wishing he hadn’t done what he did.” He kisses the corner of my mouth. “Because that woman sitting next to him is nothing more than a cheap knockoff. She’ll never be you, and he knows that.”
Nate runs his tongue along my bottom lip and then the top, and I groan into his mouth, wanting more than he can give me on this dance floor.
“Let’s get out of here,” I murmur against his mouth.
Not needing to be told twice, Nate guides me off the dance floor and toward the doors. But instead of exiting, he veers to the right, straight for the restrooms.
He pulls me inside, locks the door, and then lifts me up, setting me on the edge of the counter.
Normally, I wouldn’t be down for a restroom fuck, but this one is luxurious, marble sinks and floor and walls. It smells like a mixture of cleanliness and baby powder, and the thought of fucking Nate in here while everyone is right outside the door has me squirming in my spot.
Nate doesn’t waste any time gripping the silky material and lifting it up to my hips, exposing my panties.
“Fuck, I should’ve brought you back to your room,” he mutters. “The things I want to do to you…”
He shakes his head as he reaches behind me, delves his fingers into my hair, and pulls me in for a hard kiss that warms my insides.
As his skilled mouth ravages mine, I have no doubt that I could kiss this man every day for the rest of my life, and it wouldn’t be enough.
The chemistry between us heats as I reach down and unbutton Nate’s pants, taking his dick out and stroking it while he pushes two fingers into me.
“Fuck me,” I groan, needing to feel him inside me.
There’s no reason for foreplay. We’re both turned on and ready.
Nate removes my panties, stuffs them into his pocket, and then grips my hips, pulling me to the edge. When he thrusts into me in one fluid movement, it stokes the flames that have been building between us, setting my body on fire.
Nate kisses me like he fucks me—deeply, passionately—like the world is about to end and this is the last time he’ll be able to be with me like this. And I guess, in a way, it is.
“Stay with me,” he growls into my mouth, as if he can hear my unspoken thoughts. “Reach between us and stroke your clit.”
I’ve never been with anyone so attuned to my feelings and desires, and it’s both a blessing and a curse because when I’m with him, I feel more seen and heard than I’ve ever felt in my life, and I doubt I’ll ever find anyone like Nate. He’s going to be the man I compare every guy against in the future. He’ll be the one I let get away.
I find my release first, and Nate deepens the kiss to muffle the scream that rips through me as I come undone. And then, at the last second, he pulls out and backs up, coming in his hand.
“Thank God you remembered,” I murmur through a pant, earning a laugh from Nate as he walks over to the sink next to me to wash his hands and clean himself up.
I hop off the counter and use the restroom, and when I come out, I find him leaning against the counter, somehow looking even sexier than he did when he approached me on the dance floor.
“What do you say we get out of here and go get something to eat?”
My stomach drops at his question because I want to say yes, but I know I can’t. I wasn’t even supposed to see him today, let alone be with him like this.
“I can’t,” I murmur, shaking my head. “It’s already going to be too hard.”
Before I can finish my sentence, Nate eats up the space between us and pulls me into his arms. “It doesn’t have to be.” He tips my chin up. “Please,” he pleads softly. “I know it sounds insane, but I’ve fallen in love with you, Princess.”
Princess…
My thoughts are transported back to last night .
“I wish you were my prince.”
“I do too. Now, sleep, Princess. I’ve got you.”
But he can’t be my prince because we live too far apart, and when I get on the plane, we’ll have hundreds, if not thousands, of miles between us.
“No.” I shake my head and step out of his touch. “This was only temporary. We both knew this. You don’t live near me. Sure, we’ll start off strong. We’ll video-chat and text, and we’ll make plans to see each other. But life will get in the way, and shit will happen. And days of not seeing each other will turn into weeks and then months.”
“I’m not him,” Nate reminds me, as if I don’t already know how different the two men are. “I’m fucking rich. I can fly from?—”
“No!” I cover his mouth. “It can’t happen. My heart already hurts, and you’re still standing in front of me. Imagine how badly it will hurt when I have to go weeks and months without seeing you. And when does it end? Who moves to be with who? Are you in a place to move to be with me?”
Nate opens and then closes his mouth, his features morphing from a look of hope to defeat because he knows I’m right.
“Please don’t do this.” I reach up and place my hand on the side of his face. “If things were different…” I sniffle back a sob.
“Okay,” he whispers. “I’ll let you go, but only because you want me to. ”
I nod in understanding, then get on my tiptoes and give him a soft kiss on his cheek. “Thank you for reminding me of the magic,” I whisper. “In another lifetime, you would’ve been my Prince Charming.”
And then I walk out of the restroom without glancing back—because I know if I look at him, I might cave.
When I get back to my room, I spend the night and the next day crying, wishing Nate would show up, but knowing he won’t because he respects my decision.
On Monday, when I get to the airport, with my luggage in tow, I reach into my purse to grab my passport, but when I pull out my wallet, I find a business card–sized paper in there.
Princess, keep this in case you change your mind.
—Your Prince
My heart pounds in my chest. I know if I flip it over, I’ll find Nate’s information. It will probably have his last name, his phone number, the company he works for. And for a second, I consider keeping it. I don’t have to look at it now. I can slip it into my wallet and save it.
But then I remember how much time I wasted with John, trying to hold our relationship together while we were thousands of miles apart. The resentment, the bitterness, the cheating.
And without flipping the card over, I drop it into a garbage can.
It’s for the best, I tell myself.
Nate and I will always have London, but that’s all we can ever have.