Chapter 12
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Celia
She loved teaching. Most days. Today was not one of those days. The kids had been wild and unruly and she’d wanted to be anywhere else but at the school teaching.
Ultimately somewhere with Kyle.
No, no, no. She had to stop thinking that. She did not want to see him or talk to him or dream about him.
That last one was hard because she couldn”t control her dreams and he seemed to show up there every night whether she wanted him to or not.
And she definitely wanted him to even if she wasn’t supposed to want that.
He was like an addiction she couldn’t expunge from her body. He was her crack and she craved him more and more each day.
It didn”t help that Jasmine was full of stories about their time together. She went on and on about the things he’d told her about his friends and baseball. She hated how intently she listened to try and learn anything she could about him.
Tomorrow, they’d meet again and she had no doubt Jasmine would be full of more stories after their time together.
She might be just as excited.
A knock on her door startled her and without thinking, she opened the door, assuming it was one of her friends, since they were the only ones who ever stopped by.
She gaped at the gorgeous sexy man standing there.
“Kyle,” she said, wondering if she was dreaming.
This was how a good portion of her dreams of him started. Like the world”s worst porn movie.
He didn’t speak, but his eyes told her everything he needed to know.
He wanted her and he’d come there to have her.
Jesus, this really was a porn.
“We can’t,” she said in a voice that she wasn’t sure belonged to her. Why was she saying no? She wanted him and he obviously wanted her.
He pushed his way inside silently, closing the door behind him. “Is Jasmine asleep?” His voice was low and gruff.
She nodded, unable to speak because she was afraid she’d blurt out TAKE ME! TAKE ME NOW!
He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her in tight against his body. “Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll stop.”
Had there been any words in the history of words that were hotter? She didn’t think so. She knew she should tell him no, tell him to stop. But he wasn’t wrong. She did want this. More than anything.
She told him so with her mouth, only there were no words involved. She lifted to her tiptoes, yanked his head down to hers, and fused her mouth to his.
Kissing was better than words any day of the week.
There was no hesitation on either of their parts as they devoured each other. His kisses melted her and turned her to fire all at the same time. She could live off them for days without ever coming up for air.
His fingers tangled in her hair and he gripped hard, pulling her mouth from his. The pain was magnificent and she wanted more of it.
“You have to tell me, Celia. I need your words.” His eyes were so dark with desire, they almost looked black. “I won’t have you saying I took advantage of you.”
She dug her nails into his thick biceps. “I want you. This. Please.” She tried to lean in to kiss him again, but he pulled her hair again, keeping her at a distance.
“We’re going to talk after this and you’re not going to push me away.”
That had her stilling. “We don’t need to talk.”
His fingers tightened in her hair and she moaned uncontrollably. “Yes, we do.” He moved his face close to hers, his breath feathering across her skin as he whispered in her ear, “You can try and lie to me, but your body tells me everything I need to know.”
Fucking traitor of a body. She had tried to play it cool, but there was no cool when Kyle was anywhere near her. Which was why she’d tried to stay away. That hadn”t really worked, though. He had known what she was doing, and still, he’d shown up on her doorstep.
Maybe they did need to talk.
“Fine, we can talk, but would you please just fuck me first?” She was practically panting, and when his tongue touched her ear unexpectedly, she shivered.
“I’ll fuck you and I’ll fuck you good.” His words penetrated her soul. “Bedroom.”
She used her arm and pointed to the right where her room was. She made a mental note to thank Ruby for insisting she have a room on the opposite side of the apartment from Jasmine. She had a feeling she was going to have a hard time being quiet.
Then, in a move that shocked the hell out of her and practically made her come on the spot, he hoisted her up so his hands were gripping her ass and she was forced to wrap her legs around his waist. He moved swiftly through her small apartment to her bedroom all the while kissing and licking her neck. By the time they made it to her room and he shut the door behind them, she was on fire.
Her hands were pulling at his clothes, and rather than put her down on the bed, he pushed her against the door. “You taste so fucking good.” His mouth was everywhere, or at least it seemed like it was everywhere.
She finally got his coat and shirt off and wasted no time running her hand over his toned chest. “God, your muscles are so sexy.”
He lifted his head, a grin on his face. “I had muscles eight years ago.”
“Not like these, you didn’t.” She traced around his nipple, and then, just to test, squeezed it gently.
He groaned deep in his chest. “Shit, do that again.” His eyes held hers as she did what he asked. His eyes glazed over and his mouth hung open. He loved it.
Wasn’t that interesting.
She wasn”t the only one who liked it a little kinky.
“Celia,” he murmured her name when she ran her finger over his nipple again. She loved the sound of her name on his lips. She’d always hated her name until she’d met Kyle. The way he’d said it, smooth and seductively, had changed her mind. After their summer together, she’d hated anyone else saying her name, because no one could ever say it the way he did.
He pressed his body harder against hers, his cock nestled perfectly against her core. Both of them moaned, and that ended the slow portion of their evening.
He fused his lips to hers in a demanding kiss, all while pressing against her and pulling clothes from her body. Luckily, she’d been dressed for bed in loose pants and a t-shirt. No bra and no underwear.
She was starting to be very thankful that her doctor had told her that not wearing underwear to bed was ideal. She’d have to remember to send her a thank you note.
When his fingers found her wet and hot pussy, she moaned at the same time he said, “Jesus Christ, you”re wet.” He slid his fingers up and down her pussy driving her mad with each swipe near her clit.
“You have me pushed against the door with your dick pressed against me. Of course, I’m wet.”
He smiled, his lips nibbling hers. “Is this a fantasy of yours?”
Everything and anything as long as it was with him was a fantasy. She wasn’t about to tell him that so she went with the obvious answer. “Yes.”
He pushed two fingers inside her hard, making her cry out. “Fuck my fingers.”
It was like he was reading her mind. She had so many things she wanted to do when it came to sex. He was her only experience and thanks to porn and books, she knew what she wanted to try.
This was one of those things.
Although she’d never imagined doing it against the door of her bedroom. Good thing she was game to try anything.
She rode his hand, moaning and groaning until he placed his other palm over her mouth. “You have to be quiet. Our daughter is not that far away.”
Of all the things in the world that could make her come, she’d never thought the words our daughter would be the ones that did it. Something about hearing him talk like they were a couple, like they belonged together as a family, sent her flying over the edge.
It seemed she had a whole new kink.
“Fucking beautiful,” he said, kissing her deeply.
With the finesse of a pro baseball player, he spun them around and lowered her to the bed. The lamp next to her bed was on so she could easily watch him as he removed his shoes and pants. At the wedding, she’d been so concerned with him seeing her body and noticing that she didn’t look the same as she had all those years ago. This time, he took in her naked figure and the heat in his gaze told her he didn’t mind the stretch marks or the small belly she still had from carrying Jasmine.
“You’re so gorgeous.” He stood in front of her completely naked, his cock large and jutting forward like it knew exactly where it wanted to be.
Inside her.
You and me both, buddy.
He opened the condom she’d seen him grab from his pocket and watched as he slid it down his impressive length. Then he was above her, kneeling on the bed, her thighs spread wide.
“I need to be inside you,” he said, his voice no longer sounding in control, and if she wasn”t mistaken, his hands were shaking a little.
“I’m all yours.” She wrapped a hand around his head and guided him closer. His cock nudged her pussy and they both groaned. “I don’t need slow. I just need you.”
He took that for the truth when he slammed fully inside her.
“Oh God, yes,” she moaned, trying to keep her voice down, but not sure she’d succeeded.
“I swear to God, you feel better than anything.” He was in a complete daze as he moved inside her. His hips pistoned over and over again, taking her higher and higher. When he gripped her leg, lifting it and pressing it against her chest, she felt him go even deeper.
She lifted her arms above her head, looking for something, anything to grip onto. Her fingers found her wrought iron headboard.
“Oh yeah, leave those hands there,” he demanded. “I want you completely open to me.” He fucked her even harder, his hips pounding into her body.
It felt so good, so delicious, and she loved that it was him giving her this pleasure.
She also loved how out of control he seemed for her. She wasn’t going to dwell on what came next. For now, she was going to enjoy the hell out of him fucking her.
He was like a madman. He’d slow his pace after taking her to the edge, driving her crazy. Then he’d do it again, teasing her clit as he thrust his hips against hers. He did this over and over again, and she thought she was going to die from lack of release. When she thought all was lost, he grabbed both her legs, slung them over his arms, and thrust into her wildly as she writhed and begged.
That was all it took to send her flying, to take her to the one place she could only ever reach with thoughts of him. This time, it wasn’t just thoughts of him that had her coming, it was actually him. The real live version of him in her bedroom.
She wasn’t sure how a memory of him was ever going to compete again.
She felt him stiffen above her and cry out, “Celia,” in a whisper as he came. She stroked his back when he fell on top of her. She didn’t mind the weight of his body. In fact, she almost wished he’d stay there forever.
Her own version of a security blanket.
A few seconds went by before he pulled out and dealt with the condom. She was glad he understood without her saying anything. One accidental pregnancy, that they hadn”t really dealt with yet, was enough.
When he came back to the bed, she was sitting up with the covers pulled up over her body. She didn’t say anything because really, what could she say.
“I tried to stay away,” he said as he slipped under the covers with her. “I promise, I tried.”
“I don’t know what we’re doing or what this is.” She might as well go with the truth since she vowed to never lie to him again.
He laughed. “You think I do?” He sighed. “I should hate you, and there still is a little hate left inside me, but each time I see you or even talk to you, that dwindles.” He turned his head, looking at her. “Why do you think that is?”
She shrugged. “I have no clue. I don’t blame you for hating me. I hate myself most days, and have since the day I stood in front of you and said all those mean things.”
They sat in silence for a few seconds, Kyle looking at her with a straight face. “That was the worst day of my life.” His words tore her in half.
“Mine too,” she said quietly, wanting him to understand that nothing that happened that day or after made her feel good about herself. “Did you really not know I’d be at the wedding?”
He shook his head. “I had no clue. Your social media is locked down tight, I know because I tried to look you up, but I knew that Ruby had married Dallas, so I assumed they’d be there. I thought I might be able to talk to Ruby and see how you were. Possibly get your number.”
That made her head want to explode. He’d wanted to see her that badly? “Even after what I said that day?”
“What can I say, I’m a glutton for punishment.” He laughed, shaking his head. “I meant what I said that night. I never forgot about you.”
“But you’ve dated, right?” She’d seen it firsthand in the media.
“I did, a little. Well, a lot during a particularly bad period. I even had a girlfriend once.” He picked up her hand, turning it over in his. “None of them compared.”
She was going to hyperventilate. He was in her bed, touching her and telling her he never forgot her and that no one else compared to her. How was she supposed to process that kind of information?
“What about you?” he asked. “I assume you’ve dated?”
She shook her head repeatedly. “I haven’t. Well, not really. Technically, I guess I’ve been on three dates but that’s it.” She needed to make it clear what she was saying to him. “There hasn’t been anyone else. Sex wise.” She sounded lame and from the look of disgust on his face, she was starting to question if she should have even told him that.
His eyes held hers as he moved to fully face her. “Are you telling me there’s been no one since me?” Okay, maybe he wasn”t disgusted. Because how he looked now, like he fucking owned her, was intense.
She tried to shrug. “I had Jasmine and I wasn’t ready and,” she gave up and went with the truth, “no one was you.”
With lightning speed, he captured her mouth in a punishing kiss. His lips were demanding and needy and when he bit down, causing her just a little bit of pain, she moaned. This was a kiss of ownership, one that staked claim.
She belonged to him just as he belonged to her.
The kiss slowed and he pressed his forehead to hers as he grabbed her face. “I can’t believe there’s been no one else, all this time.” He stroked her cheek with his thumb. “I prepared myself for you to be with someone else, for you to have lived a life without me. It shouldn’t turn me on this much to know you haven’t.”
She couldn’t speak, not when the words he was saying were the words she craved every night when she was alone. She felt like she’d waited a lifetime to hear them. She wasn”t going to ruin it by speaking.
His other hand lowered the covers that were around her breasts. “I want to look at you.” He was asking permission and she granted it with a nod. “I want to see all the parts of you that changed from carrying our child.”
Oh god, she was going to melt right there into the bed. When he talked about Jasmine being their child, it had her stomach doing somersaults.
The blankets fell around her waist and he lowered his eyes, taking in her breasts. They were still small like they’d always been but they’d grown during pregnancy and breastfeeding, leaving her with larger areolas and more sensitive nipples.
“These are different.” He traced the skin over one breast with his index finger. “Did they get bigger?”
“Uh, yeah,” she choked out. “Not much but when I was breastfeeding, they were a whole size bigger.”
His gaze flicked up to hers. “You breastfed?” There was wonder in his eyes and voice.
She nodded. “I didn’t want to waste any money on formula.”
Something unreadable flicked across his eyes. “Was it painful?”
She laughed a little. “At first, yes. I thought I was going to die. But then she learned to latch on easily and together, we figured it out.”
He moved the covers out of the way even more as he lowered down to his stomach, his face right at her belly. “Did you gain weight?”
“About thirty pounds. As you can see, I’m still carrying about fifteen of them.” All her weight gain had been in her stomach and losing it after Jasmine was born had not been easy.
His fingers traced over the stretch marks she had on her belly. “I like the extra weight. It makes you look like a woman.” He continued to trace the marks all the way down to her hip. “Did you have cravings? Were you sick?”
He seemed to want to know everything about her pregnancy and she owed him at least that much. “I craved Slim Jims, if you can believe that. Ruby used to buy them in bulk for me and I swear, I ate twelve a day. I only had a few days of morning sickness, but it was never in the morning. It was always right before bed.”
She was in awe as he lowered his head and grazed his lips across the stretch marks on her lower abdomen. She sucked in a breath at the intimate touch.
“I wish I would have been there.” His voice was full of regret and that made her want to run and hide.
It was her fault he wasn”t there.
His lips kissed all along her stomach and hips, tracing each mark she’d gotten during pregnancy. This was a glimpse of what she could have had, if she’d only told the truth. He would have been by her side, taking care of her and kissing her growing belly every night.
There wasn’t a hole deep enough in the world for her to crawl into and sulk. She’d been alone because she’d made it so. She’d made a decision that had affected them all and her penance was knowing that her life could be so much different, so much better, if only she’d been honest.
Her life was the way it was because she’d chosen her course.