Chapter 16
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Kyle
He’d been back in Arizona for two days and he already hated it.
Not the baseball part or even his teammates. It was the not seeing Celia and Jasmine part that he hated.
How in the hell did guys do this day in and day out when they had families?
Leaving them had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. Jasmine had given him the biggest hug before running off to her room. Celia had explained that she might not understand just how long he was going to be gone. She’d tried saying goodbye without a hug, but he’d nixed that. If he had to be without her for weeks on end, he needed to feel her in his arms one last time.
That had been just two days ago and he was miserable without them. It didn”t matter that he’d talked to them both twice since that day.
The locker room was packed with his teammates for the first official day of spring training, and like the rest of them, he was gearing up at his assigned locker.
“You sort of ghosted me the last week,” his best friend, Shawn, said from his seat on the bench next to him.
He and Shawn were pulled up from the minors at the same time. He’d been around through all of Kyle’s ups and downs over Celia, and he knew the whole story.
Well, the whole story up until a week ago.
This wasn”t the place to talk about everything that happened in the last week. “I have a lot to tell you. Dinner tonight?”
“Only if you’re buying,” Shawn said.
“As if I would expect anything different. Your cheap ass never pays the tab.”
“Some of us don’t make as much money as you and have to budget what we have.”
Kyle stood up, Shawn following suit. “Says the man who has the second largest contract on the team and just bought a winter house on an island in the middle of nowhere.” This was what they did. Poke at each other.
“Which is why I have to save my money. That house cost me a fortune.” They started walking out of the locker room. “Seriously, man, you look happy, but at the same time stressed.”
“It’s a long story that I’ll tell you tonight. Until then, let”s play a little ball.” Baseball had always been the one constant in his life, and he was hoping it would be just the thing to take his mind off missing his girls.
First days were always about shaking the rust off. Passing the ball, running plays, and batting practice. After several hours on the field, they hit the weight room where trainers put them through the paces. It felt good to be back, and not once during the six hours with his team, had he thought about anything but baseball.
That was a win in his book.
After a long, hot shower, he and Shawn walked across the street to a local hole in the wall that they’d been eating at since their first spring training together. The place was nothing special but had the most amazing fish tacos he’d ever tasted.
Once they were seated and each had a beer, Kyle started speaking. “Remember how I was going to Valley Falls for Benji Melton’s wedding? Turns out, Celia was there.”
Shawn narrowed his eyes. “Not this again.”
For years, Shawn had been on him to forget about Celia. He felt like Kyle was holding onto something that wasn”t there. “I talked to her.”
“Oh, I’m guessing you did more than that.” He raised an eyebrow.
“Fine, yes, we did more than talk, but that’s not all.”
“You’re telling me you slept with the woman who dumped you in the worst possible way and there”s more? Jesus, will you never learn?”
“Man, just hear me out.” He knew how much Shawn hated Celia, but he’d never met her. He didn’t know her the way he did. This next part was going to be the part that Shawn really wouldn”t like. “She has a kid.”
Shawn stopped moving, his beer halfway to his mouth. “A kid?”
Kyle nodded. “Jasmine.” Here went nothing. “She’s mine.” The rush that it gave him to say those words out loud was better than hitting the game-winning home run.
“What the fuck? What do you mean she’s yours?”
“Celia was pregnant when she broke up with me.”
Shawn slammed his bottle down on the table. “What a fucking bitch. How could she do that to you?”
Shaking his head, Kyle tried to calm his friend down. “Listen to me before you jump to any conclusions.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. You’ve fallen for her shit again, haven’t you?”
“Shawn, it’s not what you think. She did it because she thought she was doing the right thing.”
“Bullshit. She’s using you now like she used you then.” He stood up, throwing some bills on the table. “I’m not going to sit here and listen to this.” He stormed off, leaving Kyle alone at the table wondering what had just happened.
He’d known Shawn was going to take some convincing, but he didn’t think it would be this drastic. He knew there would be judgment on him for forgiving Celia so easily, but he never thought his best friend would react this badly. Finishing his own beer, he fished out some cash and dropped it down next to the money Shawn left. When he exited the building he was surprised to find Shawn sitting on the bench out front.
“I’m an asshole,” he said before Kyle could speak. “I just...you didn’t see how hurt you were all those years. How bad she hurt you.”
“But I did.” He sat down next to him. “I had to look at myself every day in the mirror and know I wasn’t enough for her. I was the one who went to sleep at night with her memory still fresh in my mind, and I was the one who had to hear those hurtful words over and over. I’m not asking you to forgive and forget, but I am asking you to listen to what I have to say. As my friend.”
Shawn nodded and Kyle took that as his sign to go on.
“I didn’t know about Jasmine when I first saw her at the wedding.”
“Jasmine?” Shawn asked.
“That’s her name. My daughter.” He couldn”t stop the smile that turned his lips up. He loved her and just saying her name made him happy.
“That’s going to take some getting used to. You having a daughter.”
Kyle laughed. “Not for me.” He went on with his story, telling Shawn about their night together, leaving out the details of the amazing sex. Then he told him about the next day when he met her at the coffee shop and she told him about Jasmine. He needed to know that in the beginning, he was angry and upset and so fucking hurt.
“I was devastated. I had a child that she’d never given me the chance to know. I thought I’d hate her forever. The problem was that while I hated her for that, my body didn’t seem to understand. I wanted her more than ever and those two parts of me were colliding.”
“What happened after that?”
“Dallas Ramos, who just so happens to be married to Celia’s sister, Ruby, came to find me. We talked and he told me a few things. One was that he’d almost lost Ruby because of the lie Celia not only kept from me, but also the one she’d told Ruby. Ruby thought we’d had a one-night stand and that after finding out she was pregnant, I gave her money for an abortion.”
“Why would she do that?” The disgust was evident in Shawn’s voice.
“Celia and Ruby had a mom who didn’t care about them. Even worse, she belittled them. Celia didn’t know what to do. She also knew that if she told her sister that we were in a relationship and in love, Ruby would be more apt to force the issue of us being a couple.”
“That’s what I don”t understand. If she loved you like you say she did, why didn’t she want to be with you and raise the baby with you?”
“She knew me and knew I would give up everything to take care of her and Jasmine. She knew how much I loved baseball and how good a chance I had at making it big. But, she also knew how much I craved family and love. At first, I was pissed that she’d used my love of baseball and my lack of love from family against me. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized she was right. I would have done anything in my power to keep her, and that includes giving up baseball, if it had been needed.”
“Well, shit.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Knowing you as I do, I think she might have been right. But I still don’t know how you’ve obviously so easily forgiven her.”
“I love her, and love is more important than hate and holding a grudge.”
“So what, you guys are together now?”
Kyle let out a half-hearted laugh. “Don’t I fucking wish.”
“Uh oh, this doesn’t sound good.”
“She’s afraid that if we start something and it doesn”t work out, it could hurt and confuse Jasmine. And I agree with her. Except, I love her and want them both in my life, forever.”
“Have you told her that?” Shawn lifted an inquisitive eyebrow.
“No, but I have a plan to make her fall in love with me.”
He groaned. “Dude, tell her you love her and be done with it. Plans are a bad idea. Plans go awry and cause issues. Plans are bad. Bad, bad, bad.”
He blew his friend off. “She’s not ready for that yet. Slow and steady wins the race.”
“Says the turtle, but do you know who’s already at the finish line drinking a beer and living his life? The rabbit. Be the rabbit.”
“It’s a hare, not a rabbit. And the hare doesn’t win.” He should know. He’d read that book with Jasmine one night.
“That’s because it’s a story, and a stupid one at that.”
“If we’re going to argue over a fictional story, can we at least go back in and have another drink and maybe some tacos?” Kyle pointed to the building.
“Fine.” They both stood. “Now, what amazing things did you tell this daughter of yours about me?”
“Oh, that”s easy. I told her you were full of shit and didn”t know the plot of a kid’s book when it was right in front of your face.”
“Not fucking funny, man.”
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Hours later, he wasalone back in his hotel room and ready to call his girls. He leaned back against the pillows on his bed and hit send on Celia’s number for a FaceTime.
Seconds later, her face lit up the screen and all was right in his world. At least for a little while.
“She’s coming,” Celia said to him. The exact same thing she”d said to him the previous night when he’d called.
He wasn’t about to tell her he wasn’t only calling for Jasmine. “No worries. How was your day?” He tried to ask her questions, so she’d know he wanted to know about her too.
“Busy. I love teaching middle school, but those kids can have real attitudes.”
“Let’s hope that’s not Jasmine when she’s that age.”
“Oh God, help me now,” she said in an exaggerated tone. “I might have to send her to live with you during those years.”
He laughed along with her, even though, in his version of their future, they lived together.
“Here she is!” She passed the phone off to Jasmine and that was the last of seeing or talking to her for the night.
As luck would have it, his plan started tomorrow.
“Guess what?” Jasmine asked, and then for the next twenty minutes, proceeded to tell him every single thing that happened in her day. He loved listening to her talk, part of it being that he just loved knowing she was his daughter. He’d never thought about kids, not in any real way. Mostly because he’d never seen himself in love with anyone other than Celia.
If he wasn’t with her, there would be no kids.
Funny how that seemed to work itself out. It’s as if the universe knew and wanted them to be together.
The universe was finally on his side.
As a kid, and then teenager, he thought the world was against him. Why else would it give him such shitty parents? There were days he had no food and times the electricity was out for days because nobody paid the bill. He had nothing good in his life until his Great Aunt Elinor stepped in and made sure he was always taken care of. When she died, he was back to thinking the world was conspiring against him.
Until he met Celia.
For a few brief moments, he’d been happy and thought this was why he’d gone through the hard stuff. To end up with her.
Then she’d left, breaking his heart into a million tiny pieces. After that, he seriously believed he was unlovable and meant to be alone. He might have never stopped loving Celia, but he also never really believed they could be together again.
Now he did.
The universe had kicked him and knocked him down over and over again, so that when the time came, he would understand what it meant to love someone.
Because when you loved someone, you didn’t let anything else get in the way. Not anger, nor animosity, nor regret. You could either choose to love or choose to be alone.
Both weren’t possible.
He was choosing love. He loved Celia and Jasmine and would do anything to make them his family.
He was going to ask for a trade to a team closer to them. He knew how much Celia loved Ruby, and there was no way he could ask her to move away. Not to mention, he didn”t want to uproot Jasmine. She had a whole life in Valley Falls and so many people who loved her.
She had what he’d always wanted, and he wouldn”t be the person to take that from her.
After he ended the call with Jasmine, he stripped off his clothes, turned off the lights, and lay down in bed. His mind was swirling with ideas for his plan, which was part of the reason why he was still awake.
The other part was that his dick was hard with thoughts of Celia.
If he wanted to get any sleep at all, he was going to have to take care of the problem.
Closing his eyes, he let himself remember how it felt to have her in his arms. How her bare skin felt against his. The way her eyes darkened when he pushed her limits, and the way she moaned in pleasure at the things he did to her body.
His hand found his dick and he stroked it up and down once, then twice, before squeezing the head. He’d jacked off many times over the years to images of Celia. Those had been chaste compared to what they were now. Now they were filled with all the dirty, sexy things he’d done to her, and the ones he still wanted to do.
At twenty-one, he hadn’t known what he’d liked. At almost thirty, it was different. But, only when it was with Celia. He’d never spanked another woman, or said the things he’d said when he was inside them.
Those were things he only wanted with her.
His cock swelled in his palm as he continued to stroke himself while remembering everything about their time together the past week. It wasn”t long before his release was barrelling down on him and he shouted her name as he came all over his hand and stomach.
It wasn’t the same as being with her, but it would have to do until he could convince her that they were supposed to be together.
Hopefully, that was sooner rather than later.
He wasn’t sure how long he would hold out without her in his life.