Wanted (The Un #2)

8. Raphael

EIGHT

RAPHAEL

Alena tastes sweet and innocent as I hungrily devour her mouth. Whatever is tainting her blood is buried beneath her skin, giving me full rein to enjoy her as I please.

As Asher said, she won’t be tainted forever.

This truth only makes me kiss her harder, wanting to be even closer to her.

Aching to be whole.

And thanks to her letting me inside her, completing one side of our bond, I know she’s enjoying this moment as much as I am.

All my vampire senses are focused on her and only her. Her taste. The way her tongue moves, inexperienced but eager.

Eager for me .

She smashes her breasts against my chest, and I delight in her hard nipples pressing into my shirt.

Delight in the throbbing desire pooling between her thighs.

And her arousal scenting the air around us…

Unfortunately, our little hedonistic moment is ruined when she accidentally cuts herself on my fangs and her bitter blood spills into my mouth.

It’s my fault, entirely.

My excitement my undoing.

You’d think after five hundred fucking years, I would be able to control my fangs.

But no.

I’m like a stupid, horny teenager.

If I thought she wouldn’t be frightened, I would slap the fuck out of myself.

And I’m sorely tempted to ask Asher to give me a good thump for my carelessness.

For destroying the amazing few moments when we were chasing our desire for each other together.

Mentally berating myself for a few seconds, I try to get myself back into the moment. I can’t continue to focus on all of my mistakes.

The kiss. Think of the kiss , I tell myself.

I ignored everything.

The car.

The direction we drove.

The others surrounding us.

I was fixating on her again. Utterly fascinated by how she was responding to me.

But this bitter taste in my mouth…

It’s not her taste.

Not the taste I crave with all of my being.

Pouting, she leans back and asks again, “Why did you stop? It felt so good.”

Just hearing her say it felt so good has my erection straining against my pants to be free.

With her bitter taste still lingering, trying to spoil the experience of our first kiss, I press my forehead against hers and murmur a lie. “We were getting carried away, and I’d rather continue this in private.”

This fucking car doesn’t give us much room to move around. And there’s no privacy for a more intimate experience.

I’d rather not undress her or take her in front of my family, if I can avoid it.

Looking away from Alena, I ask the others, “How much fucking farther do we have to go?”

“We’re a couple minutes out,” Matthias says with a growl. “Fucking wolves have us on some kind of goat path to wherever they’re sending us.”

Whatever else Matthias is going on a rant about, I ignore. The only thing I need to know is how much time we have until Alena and I can be alone.

There are things that need to be said.

And to be done.

Moving back in for another touch of her lips, I probe at her side of the bond.

Her eagerness pulses brightly, like a beacon. The desire to experience something new and pleasurable is almost overwhelming.

It’s as if she’s never felt real pleasure before…

“ Come to me ,” I command.

I want… no, need , our bond to be fully open.

But I only get confusion from her.

She knew how to open for me, but she doesn’t know how to do it in reverse.

And fuck if I know how to explain it.

I need her to reopen my side of the bond. To drop that fucking wall blocking it off.

But you can’t command someone to do something they don’t know how to do.

I fucking hate not having full access to her. She is my soulmarked and there should be no barriers between us.

But the wall is still blocking off half of our connection.

My half, specifically.

I can feel her, but she can feel nothing from me.

And this will not fucking do.

She needs to know how I feel about her. She needs it so the turning won’t terrify her.

If anything, the long centuries have taught me that patience is not a virtue I possess in abundance.

“ Drop your wall ,” I order.

“I don’t know how…” she says.

Dammit.

How are we going to get past this?

Not knowing what else to do, I kiss her.

I expect to taste the bitter blood again, but there’s only the vaguest hint it was ever there.

Pulling back, I look at her in confusion.

“What?” she begs, her body shuddering with need.

Holding her back, I say, “Wait.”

“What did I do?” she cries and tries to kiss me again before I stop her.

Turning my head toward Asher, I ask him quickly, “How fast do humans heal?”

Asher frowns and looks between Alena and me. “What do you mean?”

Moving my hands to Alena’s mouth, I gently pry her jaw open with my fingers.

Her eyes widen and I hear her faint thought. Why is he doing this?

She tries to speak around my fingers, but I hush her. “Let me have a look.”

Even Asher asks, “What are you doing?”

Peering into her mouth, I see the place where I nicked her with my fang is almost completely healed.

Alena keeps trying to talk with my fingers in her mouth, and I know she is quickly losing patience with me. She doesn’t like the way I’m treating her.

And honestly, I don’t blame her. But I had to see.

Just as I’m about to release her, though, I spot the inside of her cheeks. They’re covered in scars.

Scars made from teeth marks.

Fuck me.

She mutilated the inside of her mouth.

Quickly pulling my fingers away, I stare into her eyes.

Those scars were not made by accident. No, there’s far too many of them.

They were intentional.

She caused herself pain and misery.

My human memories are foggy, it being so long ago, but I do remember how bad it would hurt when I accidentally bit my tongue or the inside of my cheek.

Hurt enough that eating and drinking would be painful.

And yet she intentionally caused herself this pain…

Why?

Sensing my distress, Asher says calmly, “Her healing could be rapidly increasing due to your close proximity. The closer I got to Chloe when I found her, the more her vampire powers manifested. Speed, healing, and her vanishing…”

Shit.

Why is my beloved deliberately causing herself pain? I push at the bond for an answer but hit that damn wall again.

The fucking thing is still blocking part of her off…

How the fuck is this possible?

I want to ask outright, to see if she knows the answer, but Matthias says, “We’re here.”

Gravel crunches under the SUV’s tires before we come to a complete stop in front of a huge hunting lodge.

The place appears to be crafted completely out of wood and logs to blend in with the surrounding forest. But it’s both rustic and modern in design. It’s definitely more to a shifter’s taste, but it will do for the time being.

Alena stares at me in confusion and annoyance.

Her emotions pulsing through our one-sided connection.

She’s annoyed I stopped her exploration of pleasure and confused about me sticking my fingers in her mouth and inspecting her like she’s some kind of animal.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’ll explain when we get inside.”

Matthias’s phone rings and he puts it quickly to his ear.

“All clear,” Caden says loud enough for all of us to hear without speakerphone.

Caden must be still pissed off, and I can’t wait to slap him around a bit.

How fucking dare he almost say I don’t deserve her.

Fucking hells. The way I’ve treated her, I suppose he could be right.

But to say it out loud…

“Close your eyes,” I murmur to Alena. “The sun will be very bright.”

I don’t know why the sun bothers her, she’s still human.

Maybe it’s like Asher said… Maybe it’s my proximity causing it?

She nods her head in understanding and squeezes her eyes shut.

Lifting Alena into my arms, I step out of the car. The sun shines brightly through the tree leaves. It’s still painful even to me after all these years, but manageable.

Alena, though, cringes even with her eyes closed.

“Why does it feel weird on my skin?” Alena asks, before peeking her eyes open.

“It’s…” I say at a loss.

The last time she saw the sun, it hurt her. But now she’s able to deal with it?

It makes no sense to me. I glance at Asher, and he looks just as confused.

“She’s shut down that part of herself,” Ambrose whispers as he dances past us.

Pushing hard against my chest, Alena grunts, “I can walk on my own two feet, you know.”

“But you’re safer in my arms,” I explain.

“Put me down, Raphael. I’ll let you hold my hand, but I want to walk,” she says.

The ache deep inside of me screams, wails, and howls.

Even the monster hates the idea of her not being in my arms.

But I can hold her hand?

What kind of fucking pathetic beast I must be that she’s only willing to give me that small portion of her.

Fuck, I scream into the void of my brain.

Taking in the gravel drive and her bare feet, I refuse to let her hurt herself. “Not yet. The stones will rip up your feet.”

“And that is why you should let me play dress-up with our little sister, dear brothers,” Ambrose sings out to everyone.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Matthias growls.

Carrying Alena to the grass near the front porch, I finally set her down.

And my damn arms yearn to pick her right back up, regardless of her protests.

But I don’t want her to see me as the monster who will ignore all her wishes.

“Sorry, dear sister,” Ambrose says as he dances closer to Alena. Too close for my taste. “These cretins do not listen to me. I would have had you clothed and shoed as a princess should be.”

“Ambrose,” I growl at the annoying little shit.

“Hush, Raphael.” Ambrose smirks at me as he twists and writhes to the music in his head. “You’ll soon learn she needs clothing, shoes, and perhaps gloves.”

Alena peers up at me. “Who is he dancing with?”

I struggle to answer in a way that she’ll understand. “Well…”

How do I explain Ambrose to her? The lunatic, who was recently adopted into the family, isn’t right in the head.

Asher moves closer to us with Chloe still peacefully sleeping in his arms.

He murmurs quietly, “He’s dancing with her,” before entering the house.

Ambrose suddenly stops moving around the front yard. His arms slowly lower to rest at his sides.

Red eyes staring straight at Alena, he bows his head. “I’ll go find clothing for you, my dear princess.”

In a blur that even I can barely match, he’s running through the yard and out into the gravel drive. His body gracefully slips from one shaded spot to the next, then disappears into the woods.

“Did I say something bad?” Alena asks.

“No.” I frown. “But it is a very delicate subject. Ambrose is…”

“Broken,” Matthias says, walking past us with his arms loaded up with duffle bags.

Reaching down to take Alena’s hand, I stare at Matthias’s back. What he said isn’t wrong, not by a long shot. But it’s more than just that one word.

“Inside, my stars,” I say and lead her to the porch.

She gracefully walks up the steps beside me. “Will you kiss me again if I come inside?”

My blood thrums with anticipation and I have to swallow back a moan. “Yes.”

Kiss her and more, my body begs of me.

Leading her through the front doorway, I frown.

All of us enter without an issue. Without an invitation.

That’s odd.

Vampires can’t enter the home of a mortal without permission.

“Asher?” I ask as I take the place in. “Did the pack give us this house?”

The entry room is large enough to comfortably hold dozens of people. And thankfully, there are no animal heads mounted to the walls. All the furniture is new and a bit on the plain side. The fabrics are solid colors, mostly different shades of green, and everything that’s not soft is crafted from wood.

But there’s no strong shifter smell lingering anywhere. Only the faintest whiffs here and there, as if they entered and quickly left.

I wonder if this is a new build they haven’t had a chance to use yet?

“They signed over the deed five minutes before you arrived,” Caden answers from the huge kitchen.

Ah, that would explain it.

“Who owns it now?” I ask out of curiosity.

“An offshore account,” Asher says quietly, before carrying Chloe up to the second floor.

Moving toward the stairs he went up, I gently pull Alena to my side. We need to find our room and kiss.

With hope, this kiss I’ve promised her will lead to something far more intimate...

A big, furry-faced Andrei appears at the top of the stairs, wagging his finger at me.

“You two have a room downstairs in the basement. It’s secure and there’s a lot less shit that can be broken,” Andrei says with a laugh.

“What do you mean shit that can be broken?” Alena asks and tries to pull her hand from mine. “I’ve never shared a room with a man before. I don’t—”

Trying not to sigh, I say as calmly as possible, “We need privacy and a place to talk without anyone or anything to bother us.”

“But—” Alena tries to protest.

I shake my head at her. “You also need sleep and food. When’s the last time you had either?”

That gives her pause.

Pushing gently on the bond to read her thoughts, I learn she hasn’t slept in some time and can’t remember the last time she ate.

Being glamoured into a catatonic state isn’t sleeping. It doesn’t give humans or vampires the mental break we all need.

Granted, vampires, if they’re old enough, can go days and sometimes weeks without rest. But it isn’t pleasant on their bodies or the people around them.

The longer a vampire goes without rest, the more blood we need to keep ourselves going.

“Is there food in the house?” I ask Andrei.

“Yeah. We asked Dav to stock the place before we arrived. He’s going to bring more later.” He nods toward Alena. “Just in case.”

Ah.

In case she refuses to be turned soon...

Fuck. I truly hope that’s not an issue I need to worry about. But with how screwed up our bond is, I don’t know what’s going to happen.

As if to prove my fear, Alena repeats, “I want my own room. I can’t share a room with a man.”

Dammit.

If only I could speak into her mind without the risk of terrifying her.

But I can’t take the chance she’ll block me out again and completely sever our connection.

Not believing what I’m about to say out loud for my entire family to hear, I cringe inside and want to die. “I’ll give you all the kisses you want if you share a room with me.”

From upstairs, there’s a belt of laughter before it’s quickly smothered.

Vampiric hearing, you just can’t get away from it sometimes.

A hot gush of arousal floods through the bond.

Fuck me .

Her face lights up and she grins. “Yes, please.”

I swing her into my arms, and her lust and desire pulses through my body.

Racing through the entry room and into the kitchen, I grab the bag of fast food someone thoughtfully left on the counter.

Then I all but rip the door to the basement off the hinges.

Alena tries to protest against the speed I’m moving at, but I don’t slow until we’re in our designated bedroom and the door is closed behind us.

Andrei was right, though. There’s not much shit in here that can be broken.

There’s a bed, a dresser, and a lamp.

That’s it.

Nothing fancy, but I’ve survived in much worse conditions.

At least everything smells clean.

I feel guilty, though, that Alena has to live in such lowly accommodations.

This is not how I would choose to spend our first night together.

But I must admit, it’s a tremendous step up from the hovel I originally planned to turn her in.

“Do I get more kisses yet?” Alena asks. “You promised me as much as I wanted.”

All the blood in my body rushes to my cock.

I want to kiss the fuck out of her and never stop, but I must take care of her first.

Her wellbeing will always be my first priority.

“Soon,” I assure her, then quickly change the subject. “I’m sorry for the lack of amenities, but this is our only option.”

We’ve been shoved down here for a reason. A reason I don’t want her to know yet.

“It’s… perfectly fine,” Alena says, and tries to push her way out of my arms. “I haven’t slept in a real bed in almost ten years.”

“What?” I say, taken aback.

Searching the bond, I don’t get any emotions from her. Like she’s detached herself from what she just said.

Finally working her way free, she explains, “At the church, I slept on a glorified cot.” Walking over to the queen-size bed, her fingers trail over the thick quilt. “My blankets were quite rough. I think they changed them out whenever they softened.”

“I don’t understand. They didn’t let you have a real bed?”

“No,” she murmurs. “They thought I was evil, so they didn’t want me to have any luxuries.”

Trying not to spook her, I walk slowly around her and sit on the side of the bed.

“They hit you?” I ask gently.

The seething anger in my soul wants destruction.

“Oh yes,” she says matter-of-factly. “I was beaten almost every day, and often without a reason. Sister Agatha wanted to make sure I knew my place.”

How fucking barbaric, and yet they call us monsters.

I pat the bed beside me. “Come eat your food, my love.”

“Okay,” she says and sits down beside me.

The way she is behaving right now, without a trace of emotion, terrifies me. She’s acting like a ghoul who’s been glamoured to obey.

Pulling the burger out of the bag, I quickly unwrap it and hand it to her.

Alena’s motions are automatic as she slowly but deliberately eats the burger I gave her like it tastes like cardboard.

Handing her the carton of french fries, I ask, “How’s the burger?”

Staring at the wall, she slowly turns and focuses on my face. “Hmm?”

Inside the bond, there’s only silence.

Silence that’s too much like the void.

What the fuck is that wall doing to her?

“The burger? How did it taste?” I ask her again, wanting more of a reaction.

“It’s fine,” she says quietly and accepts the fries.

I quirk an eyebrow as she shoves a fry into her mouth. “Just fine? Should we avoid that restaurant in the future?”

Alena pops another fry into her mouth and thinks as she chews before her lips slowly curl into a smile. “Actually, no. These are divine and feel almost… sinful. I haven’t had fast food in years.”

Finally, I’m getting more out of her.

My lips match her smile. “Really?”

Alena bobs her head up and down, her mouth too full to speak, as she begins to eat with more gusto.

I watch her eat, enjoying how much she’s enjoying it.

On the verge of becoming fascinated again.

Little bursts of pleasure pulse through the bond with each bite she takes.

And I know I could ask her more questions. Prod for more information about her past.

But I don’t want to ruin this moment.

This moment that is pure happiness for her.

Pushing the half-eaten carton of fries into my hands, she says, “I’m full.”

I nod, satisfied that she has some sustenance in her now.

Then she stands up from the bed. “I need to brush my teeth.”

She walks into the attached bathroom and closes the door behind her.

I hate having a door between us, separating us, and I’m badly tempted to force my way inside the small room.

But I toss the fries into the bag, set it down on the floor, and clench my hands into fists to restrain myself.

If she knew how much I need her near me to keep me sane, she’d probably be terrified.

If the wall she put up would even allow such an emotion…

Fuck. That’s a chilling thought.

What if the wall is permanent?

Would I even be able to turn her without the bond connected on both ends?

What if she ends up eternally stuck like this?

There’s still so much we don’t understand when it comes to the soulmarked. So many unknowns and mysteries.

We only know that our mates develop the mark that connects us to them sometime after puberty. But we don’t know what triggers it.

Some develop it right away, while others can take years.

Andrei has devoted the majority of his vampiric life to studying the bonds, and he hasn’t gotten any closer to the truth than the rest of the vampiric community.

Not that I trust the vampire community as a whole to share any real information.

Andrei swears there’s an answer, but I’ve wondered at times if it’s simply some cosmic will that creates the spark and starts the process.

When Alena exits the bathroom, I can smell her minty breath from across the room.

But she’s still… dead inside.

I need to find a way to bring her back to life.

I’ve fucked up so many things. I won’t fuck up this.

Grinning, I make sure my fangs are hidden. “Now that you’ve eaten, I believe I owe you some kisses.”

Alena’s slow smile returns to her beautiful face, and it’s like watching a painting come to life.

Lust surges through the bond follow by excited giddiness.

When she rejoins me on the bed, I turn my body toward her and gently touch her chin.

Unholy gods, her skin is perfection.

As is the pink tongue that glistens her lips in anticipation.

This self-restraint I must impose on myself, though, is fucking maddening.

How can I possibly be expected not to throw her on the bed and take everything I can from her?

Not to lick and bite her flesh?

Feed off her and nourish her with my blood in return?

Fill her with my cock as I give her eternal life?

It goes against my very nature.

When we meet our soulmarked, when we’re this close to them, instinct rules us.

Creating a hunger… a lust… and need for completion beyond human comprehension.

We’re like beasts with one purpose.

Stop! I scream inside my head when my fangs burst through my gums.

I will not fuck this up.

I will rise above.

For her.

For her, I will fight what I am.

I will not act the monster…

Yet.

Pulling her closer, I dip my head down and peck her lips once. Testing my self-control.

Her lips are delicate yet sinfully full. I want to nibble on them but resist the urge.

If I must die again, I want it to be with her lips pressing against me.

Testing my restraint once more, I kiss her harder. Wishing I could do more.

But I’ll accept these pieces and scraps over the void.

When I suckle on her bottom lip, she slowly opens her mouth.

Pouncing on the opportunity, I thrust my tongue inside to taste her sweetness.

Her tongue eagerly rubs against mine, fast and hard.

And the lust surging through the bond fogs up my own head.

But somewhere in the back of my brain, I know there’s more than desire driving her.

She wants to feel good and forget everything.

Forget her pain. Forget her fear.

Forget her misery.

With each thrust of her tongue, she’s begging for an oblivion full of only pleasure and safety.

This I can give her.

Even if it fucking kills me.

Putting my own desires to the side, I focus solely on her need.

Our kiss stretches into an eternity of bliss bordering on agony. Our tongues stroking against each other and chasing a relief I may never receive.

Wanting to be closer to me, she crawls into my lap, and it’s almost my undoing.

Every fiber of my being screams for me to push this further. To end my own suffering.

To finally become whole.

Take her , she can’t stop you, the beast demands.

But it’s still too big of a risk.

I don’t want a mindless zombie. I want all of her. Without the fucking wall between us.

She presses her lush body against me, her breasts smashing against my chest.

And my cock strains painfully against the zipper of my pants.

When I feel her heart beating against my ribs, though, I somehow get a grip on myself.

No matter how hard my cock throbs or my balls ache, there’s still an eternity stretching ahead of me.

I will be fulfilled one day.

This is only a small blip in time for me.

I’ve waited centuries, I can wait a little longer.

But it could be a crucial turning point for her. The crucial turning point that causes her to drop her wall and give everything to me.

Her fervor increasing, she kisses me as if she’s trying to wring out every single drop of pleasure she can get.

Then her pussy grinds against the hard bulge in my pants.

Fuck…

I can keep my fangs tucked safely into my gums, but I can’t stop the claws that explode from my fingertips.

Afraid of accidentally hurting her, I slam my hands down on the bed and dig my claws into the quilt.

Moaning into my mouth, she rubs herself against me again.

Not even aware of what she’s doing…

How close she is to unmanning me.

But I can’t stop her curiosity as she explores these new sensations.

Not while they crackle and spark through the bond like fireworks.

Her movements unsure and jerky, she struggles to find the right speed and motion to achieve what she wants.

The second I sense she’s becoming frustrated, I force my claws to retract and grab her by the ass.

Unholy gods, give me the strength to endure this , I silently beg as my fingers dig into her juicy flesh.

Guiding her with my hands, I show her the way to move to get what she needs.

Gently rocking her hips so she rubs up and down my aching cock.

Picking up the rhythm I’ve shown her, she pants against my mouth as she begins to move faster and faster.

Her own instinct driving her.

Closing her eyes in concentration, her face flushed with desire, she floods the bond with arousal.

An arousal that threatens to crumble the last of my resolve.

Thank fuck she’s stopped kissing me because my fangs burst through my gums, ready to sink into her skin.

The scent of her desire fills the room and my pants cling to my erection. Soaked with her wetness.

“Something’s happening…” she gasps in surprise.

“Let it,” I growl as all kinds of dark, devious thoughts float through my head.

Thoughts of flipping her off my lap and shoving my face between her thighs so I can taste her before I shove myself inside her pussy.

The beast inside me suddenly throws himself against his chains, trying to break free, and I know I’ve let this go on for too long.

If this doesn’t end soon, what I want to achieve will go flying out the fucking window.

The beast will take her, and he won’t be patient or gentle.

Then he will turn her.

While I’m forced to watch like a fucking cuckold.

Unclenching my fingers from around her ass, I grab her by the shoulders and drag her up and down my cock at a speed she can’t achieve on her own.

“Oh god,” she groans and trembles against me. “What is…”

Determined to pull her orgasm out of her, I move her even faster.

Her thighs try to lock tight around my hips a split-second before her head falls back.

Moaning with abandon, her release flashes through the bond like a white-hot blast.

The artery in her neck pulses in front of my eyes, ready for the taking.

And my cock is almost bursting with the need to explode alongside her. To share in her orgasmic bliss.

To stop myself from doing anything stupid, I sink my fangs hard into my bottom lip.

The beast inside me still struggles to take control from me, but eventually gives up when I focus on searing this moment in time into my memory.

The sweat glistening on her porcelain skin. The way her body trembles and shakes with all her little aftershocks.

How fucking soaked my erection is.

We gave our bonded her very first orgasm.

And it is the first of many more to come…

Grumbling, my beast coils around himself and tucks his head down, ready to go back to sleep.

Ripping my fangs out of my lip, I run my tongue along it, licking up any blood that might be there.

Alena’s eyelashes flutter, and when she finally lifts her head and looks at me, I’m grateful that what I did to my mouth is already healed.

She gives me a pleased, sleepy smile, and I clutch her closer to my chest.

At first, she stiffens, as if out of reflex, but then she quickly relaxes. Melting against me.

Burying her face in my neck, she murmurs, “I’m tired.”

Biting back a groan, I say, “Of course you are.”

I guess I’ll be enjoying blue balls, after all.

Fuck.

Alena’s breathing slows, and I don’t need the bond to know that her release took the last of her energy.

Tightening one arm around her, she clings to me as I turn, yank the quilt back and gently lay her down.

Unbuttoning my shirt, I remove it, then toe off my shoes. I’d remove my wet pants, but I don’t think she’d be comfortable with that.

Despite coming all over me.

Sliding into bed beside her, I pull the quilt up and tuck it around her shoulders. Taking care to make sure she’s covered in softness and will be warm.

Us vampires tend to run on the cooler side, unless we’ve recently eaten.

Wrapping one arm around her, I long to press my body against her, but my cock is still pressing painfully against my zipper.

And I don’t think she’d appreciate getting poked in the back all day.

The pain I suffer now, though, is worth the peace slowly seeping into her body as she falls asleep.

For a long time, I stare at her, my thoughts jumping all over the place.

My own rest eluding me.

I survived what we did today by the skin of my teeth. But what will happen tomorrow? And possibly the night after?

The answer to my problem strikes me like a lightning bolt to the cock.

She opened herself to me.

I wasn’t able to achieve any physical relief while awake…

But what’s to stop me from seeking it in her dreams?