When We Burn (The Blackwells of Montana #1)

Chapter 3

Chapter Three

brIDGER

T onight was brutal.

I wasn’t supposed to be on call, but this fire was so big, it was all hands on deck. It’s a good thing I never even finished that one beer at the pool party, because I had to have all of my wits about me as we fought that motherfucker.

The Campbells are a young family of six, with four kids under the age of five, and now, they’re homeless, and it makes my chest ache for them.

It also pisses me the fuck off.

I know that they have family to stay with, and it’s not my responsibility to prevent every single house fire in Bitterroot Valley, but it always makes me fucking sad because nine times out of ten, it was preventable.

But tonight’s fire was different.

Because someone set that shit ablaze on purpose.

With just a couple of hours before the sun is due to come up, I plan to take a shower and sleep until it’s time to get up with Birdie, but first, I have to check in with my sexy babysitter. If she’s sacked out on the couch, I won’t wake her. She can stay.

I’d much rather have her in bed with me, but having her here in my house is a good place to start. Now that the fire is out, and I’ve had time to think, I feel horrible that, of all the women for me to have gotten tangled up with, no matter how briefly, it was Dani’s high school bully.

What are the odds of that? And a niggling part of my mind now wonders if Angela orchestrated the one-night stand because she knew Dani had a crush on me in high school, and she was vindictive enough to sleep with me to get one over on my friend.

Honestly, knowing what I do now, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was exactly what happened. Angela just didn’t plan to get pregnant. Neither of us did.

But Birdie’s mine, that I know for sure. As soon as Angela found me and told me she was expecting, I had testing done to confirm that the baby was mine.

And I can’t regret it because Birdie’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I love her more than anything.

I just hate that the whole situation hurt Dani, even a little bit. Because damn it, I am attracted to her, and not just physically. She’s fucking smart and sweet, and I’ve always loved being around her.

Lying on her driveway, as crazy as it sounds, was the most peaceful I’ve felt in years.

I want more of that. I crave it.

And damn it, I’m going to have it. I know I have some work to do to earn her trust, to mend our friendship and build from there, but I’ve never been afraid of hard work.

Silently, I let myself into the house. The lights in the living room are on, but Dani’s not asleep on the couch.

With a frown, I walk down the hallway and peek into Birdie’s room, and my heart stumbles.

Birdie’s sleeping peacefully in her bed, and on the floor beside my daughter, lying on her side with her hands folded under her chin, is Dani.

Fuck, she didn’t have to sleep in the same room as Birdie. And definitely not on the goddamn floor. I never want her to sleep on the floor.

After checking on Birdie, I squat down and wedge my arms beneath Dani, then lift her easily in my arms, cradling her to me.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers without opening her eyes as she loops her arms around my shoulders. “She had a bad dream.”

“Shh.” I press my lips to her forehead and breathe her in. Fuck, she’s sweet and smells like apples. I lay her gently on my bed and tuck her in, and she burrows down, buries her face in my pillow, and is already asleep again.

She’s in my hoodie, and the sight of it surprises me.

I like it.

I like it a lot.

With a sigh, I close the door behind me and head for Birdie’s bathroom for that shower, and then I fall asleep on the sofa with thoughts of the sexy woman in my bed.

The sun had just barely started to lighten the night sky, and I couldn’t sleep on the couch any longer. It’s big enough for me, but it’s lumpy, and I kept dreaming about Dani.

Dreams that might have had me returning to my bed so I could have my way with her, and while she may have been game for a kiss in her driveway, I know for certain that she’s not ready for me to fuck her.

Not quite yet.

I’m leaning against the counter, sipping on black coffee, when I hear footsteps coming lightly down the hallway. They’re not my daughter’s footsteps, I know that for sure.

And within seconds, it’s confirmed when Dani stops, her eyes widening when she sees me, and I don’t miss the way she drinks me in, from head to fucking toe.

“Good morning.” I sip the coffee and tuck my free hand into my pocket. Fuck, I want to touch her. Her hair is messed up, and her eyes are sleepy. She’s still in those tiny shorts and my hoodie, which is zipped all the way up to her neck.

“Um, good morning,” she replies and scratches her nose. “I woke up in your bed.”

I nod, watching her. “Yeah. I found you on Birdie’s floor.”

“She asked me to stay in her room. Bad dream.” She shuffles forward and leans on my island, watching me with her wide, blue eyes. “I was fine on the floor. You didn’t have to give up your comfortable bed.”

“I don’t want you sleeping on the floor, Dani. It wasn’t a problem to carry you to my room.”

She swallows in that way she does when she’s nervous. She’s fucking adorable, and it makes my lips twitch. “You carried me?”

“How do you think you got there?”

Dani tugs on her bottom lip, and that makes my dick come to attention.

I want to bite that lip. I want to sink my teeth into it as I push inside of her and make her moan.

“I’m sorry I missed that,” she admits out loud and then flushes beautifully. Fuck, she’s not making me want her any less. “I should go home.”

I’m not ready for her to leave yet. I like having her here in my house. “Do you want some coffee first?”

She scrunches up her nose and shakes her head. “No thanks, I don’t drink coffee.”

I blink at her. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I just never acquired a taste for it.”

“How do you start your day, then?”

“With water? Oatmeal? Sometimes, if I go out for breakfast, I’ll splurge on an orange juice. I will do an iced coffee every once in a while, but that’s because they’re sweet, and I have a sugar addiction, as evidenced by my hips.”

I narrow my eyes on her, not finding that funny at all. “What the fuck is wrong with your hips, kitten?”

She blinks and bites that lip again. “Uh, maybe I’m still tired. Or nervous. Probably nervous. I’ll just go home and get out of your way.”

“Why are you nervous, Dani?”

She blows out a breath and then looks at me like, really?

“You don’t ever need to be nervous with me. It’s just me.”

She chuckles at that and turns to go, but then stops and unzips the hoodie and starts to take it off. “Sorry, I got cold and borrowed this.”

“Take it with you.” Her eyes whip up to mine as I sip my coffee. “It’s chilly out this morning. Just take it.”

I love seeing it on her. It’s sexy as fuck, knowing that something of mine is wrapped around her.

“Okay,” she murmurs, pulling the front up to her nose. “Thanks. I’ll wash it and bring it back.”

I don’t give a shit about getting it back, so I don’t reply to that. “Thank you for staying with Birdie. I’ll return the favor.”

“You don’t owe me anything. She’s the sweetest little thing, and I was happy to help.” She rubs her hands down her face. “And I don’t mind sleeping on the floor. I actually like it.”

“Why?”

Her gaze finds mine again. “Why do I like the floor?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, no reason. I’d better go?—”

I cross the room in three strides and tip her chin up to look at me. “Why do you prefer the floor, Dani?”

Her lips part, and her gorgeous eyes jerk down to my lips.

“I slept on the floor most of my childhood.” The admission is a whisper. “We couldn’t all fit in Holden’s bed with him.”

The reminder of what Dani and her siblings went through as children is an arrow straight to my heart, and I pull her in for a hug, gently rocking her back and forth. I know all too well that their father terrorized all five of them, having witnessed the aftermath too often. I also know, thanks to a conversation I had with Holden earlier this year, that their father killed their mother when Dani was roughly four years old. Holden was the one who raised his sisters, and it would make sense that when things were extra horrible, they’d seek comfort in their big brother’s bed at night.

“I’m okay,” she says against my chest as she pats my back. “I really am, Bridge. I’m doing a lot better, especially now that he’s gone.”

“You’re not okay,” I murmur as I rub my lips over the top of her hair, enjoying this moment with her. “You’re fucking incredible.”

I grin down at her as she pulls out of my arms.

“I really do have to go,” she says, but she doesn’t pull away when I hold her hand in mine, and I take that as a damn good sign. “School starts in just a couple of days, and I have a lot to do.”

“I understand. I have to get Birdie ready, too. Go get ready for the swarm of rug rats. ”

She chuckles and pulls away, walking toward the door. “Have a good weekend, Bridger.”

“You, too, Dani.”

The last few days have flown by. I’ve managed to get Birdie all ready for school, finishing up with a trip to the grocery store so we could get all kinds of things for her lunches. We spent Sunday at my family’s ranch, riding horses and hanging out with most of my siblings. My brother Beckett runs the ranch now, and he’s slowly adding on a guest ranch, having just finished building beautiful cabins on the property. He’ll continue his dairy operations, but we have a big property, and he’d like to start capitalizing on the tourists that come to Bitterroot Valley by the thousands every year.

Beck’s a damn smart man.

He’s also busy with a litter of puppies that Birdie couldn’t get enough of—she begged and pleaded for us to take one home—but I had to explain that not only aren’t the puppies old enough to leave their mama, but we’re not home enough to train a dog.

She didn’t like that answer.

But now it’s the first day of school, and Birdie’s forgotten about the little black-and-white puppy and is currently agonizing over which dress to wear.

“I thought you wanted to wear the blue one?” I frown down at the top of her head as I make my way through a French braid. My sister, Billie, finally gave me enough lessons for me to muddle my way through it by myself.

Mostly.

My fingers are too big and clumsy for Birdie’s soft, fine hair, but she insists that she wants braids for her first day, so damn it, she’ll have the fucking braids.

“But what if it’s not the right one?”

“Why are you agonizing over your fashion choices at five years old?” I ask her in return. “It’s kindergarten, sweetheart, not a fashion show.”

“I want to be cute ,” she emphasizes.

“You would be adorable in a burlap sack,” I inform her, and she turns to scrunch her nose at me.

“What’s that?”

“Never mind. The point is, no matter what you wear, you’ll look great. So, you should be comfortable because you’re going to be gone all day. You understand that, right? I’m going to drop you off at your class with Miss Lexington, and then I have to leave, and you’ll be there with her and the other kids until later this afternoon.”

“Yeah.” Her voice is kind of small, and it makes my stomach jitter. “I know.”

“It’s going to be a lot of fun,” I rush to remind her. “And you’ll make so many friends by the end of the day.”

“Maybe.”

I tie off the second braid, and then I turn her to me and take her shoulders in my hands. “It is going to be fun. You’re such a great kid, peanut. You don’t have any problems making friends, and you already know Miss Lexington.”

“Why can’t I call her Dani?”

“Because it’s school, and you have to be respectful and call her Miss Lexington, unless she says otherwise.”

“That’s weird. Okay, I’ll wear the blue dress.” But before she runs to her room, she hugs me. “What will you do without me, Daddy?”

I grin and fold my arms around her, holding her close. My girl has the biggest heart, and I don’t want her worrying about me. “I’ll be just fine, and I’ll see you this afternoon and you can tell me all about it. I’ll want to hear every detail, so take lots of notes.”

“I can’t write yet.”

“Oh, right. Well, then just remember everything and tell me later, okay?”

She grins and nods and then seems happy to go get dressed.

What will I do? I’ll be stressing the fuck out, that’s what.

My baby is going to school, and I’m not okay. What if someone’s mean to her? What if some kid makes her feel like shit? What if she has an asthma attack or gets suddenly tired the way she used to? I hate that I won’t be there to watch over her and keep her safe.

But, less than thirty minutes later, we’re in my truck, parking in the elementary school lot. For the first day, I get to escort Birdie to her classroom, but after today, I’ll drop her off in the drop-off line.

“I’ll carry it,” Birdie says when I pull her backpack out of the truck, and I help her put it on her shoulders before taking her hand and walking into the building with her.

This elementary school hasn’t changed much since I went here a million years ago. Before long, we step inside Dani’s classroom, and Birdie gasps with happiness.

Dani’s gone with a unicorn theme this year, and it’s bright and cheerful and as welcoming as the woman herself.

“Birdie.” Dani crosses to us and accepts Birdie’s hug, then smiles up at me. “Welcome to your first day. Are you excited?”

“Yes. Do I really have to call you Miss Lexinson?”

Dani laughs and tugs lightly at the end of my daughter’s braid. God, her smile lights me up inside. “No, you can call me Miss Dani. Lexington is a mouthful, isn’t it?”

“Kind of,” Birdie says with a giggle.

“Okay, I’m going to show you where to stow your stuff and where your desk is.” Dani turns to me. “Do you have any questions, Dad?”

“Her medications and stuff.”

“I’ve read her case file, and I know that everything is on hand for her at the office,” Dani assures me. “I have her rescue inhaler locked in my desk, just in case, and I know to call you if she has to use it so you can decide if you’d like to come get her.”

I nod, relieved that Dani read everything thoroughly. “Thanks.”

I shuffle my feet, not wanting to leave my baby, and Dani’s face softens as she squats by my daughter. She looks hot as hell in her black pencil skirt and white blouse. She’s not even trying to look like a seductress, and yet, she does.

“Birdie, your desk is right there, next to Callie. Why don’t you go ahead and have a seat, okay?”

“Okay.” First, Birdie throws her arms around my legs. “Bye, Daddy!”

And then she’s off, and I suddenly feel… emotional.

“Hey,” Dani says softly. She doesn’t touch me, but I can tell that she wants to, and damn it, I want her to. “She’s going to be great, Bridger. I’m right here, and I won’t let anything happen to her. I have your baby. Now, you go so she can settle in and get comfortable without you.”

I blow out a breath, grateful for her words. “Yeah, okay. Seriously, call me if you need anything.”

“Of course.” But I can tell by the smile on her beautiful face that she knows that she won’t need me. “Have a good day, Bridger.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Reluctantly, I leave the classroom and walk out to my truck and decide that even though it’s my day off, I’m going to go to the firehouse and work out. We have a state-of-the-art gym, and I need to sweat some nervous energy out of my system.

There are a few of my guys working out, lifting weights, and running on the treadmills. After changing at my locker, I decide to work on my back and shoulders today, so I cross to the pull-up bar and start with twenty pull-ups. By the time I’m done, the burn in my back is satisfying, and I make my way to free weights .

“Hey, Chief,” Diego Martinez, one of our younger guys, says. “I didn’t think you were on today.”

“I’m not, just here to work out,” I reply, grabbing dumbbells for arm raises. “I dropped Birdie off for her first day of school today, and I’m not excited about it. She did preschool last year, but that’s not the same.”

“I get it,” Diego says with a nod much wiser than I’d expect from a man his age. He’s a big guy, taller than my six-foot-three, muscular, with a lot of tattoos, and he’s always fending off female attention, but Diego’s a happily married man. “Our oldest started kindergarten last year, and I was shaking like a leaf when I left him there.”

I frown at him. “How fucking old are you?”

“Twenty-four,” he replies with a shrug before doing a deadlift. “Shandy and I had him right out of high school. Anyway, the first day is the worst. For you, not for her. She’ll have a fucking blast, and then it’ll break your heart that she didn’t miss you at all today.”

I grin at him, feeling marginally better than I did when I walked in here. “Thanks, man.”

“Sure thing.”

We go our separate ways, concentrating on our own workouts. When my muscles are screaming for mercy, I pack it in and check some emails—happily deleting the one from Evans, a disgruntled applicant who won’t give up—before heading home.

I spend the rest of the day cutting the grass, and then I cut Dani’s, too, since she’s at work and doesn’t have as much free time anymore. It’ll cool down soon, and we won’t have to mow the lawn for long, but until then, I’ll do hers when I do my own. I edge, take care of weeds, and generally try to keep myself busy, and then take a shower to wash off the workout and the yard work.

When I get out of the shower, there’s a text from Dani, and my heart stops but then picks up again when I see it’s just a photo of Birdie, sitting at a short table with a bunch of other little girls, giggling over her PB&J.

Dani: She’s having a great day!

I’m going to kiss the hell out of her, just for that.

When there are only thirty minutes left before school is out, I pack Birdie a snack and head over to the school, where I wait in my truck until the bell rings.

Kids come pouring out of the doors, most of them smiling, excited to see their parents and go home for the day.

Finally, I see my daughter, holding Dani’s hand, as they both walk outside. They’re grinning at each other, and Birdie’s talking about something that makes Dani laugh, and my heart catches again.

Shit, she looks good with my kid.

I’m so fucked.

I should not be so hot for the teacher look, yet it seems a new kink has been unlocked because all I can think about is bending her over, pulling that tight skirt up around her waist, and taking her from behind, making her scream my name. Making her forget her own.

“Daddy! ”

I shake my head and grin at my daughter, who comes skipping to me.

“Hey, peanut. Did you have a good day?”

“Yes! We learned math, and I drew a picture, and we had a snack, and Jacob was smelly, but that’s okay because not everybody has learned self-control.”

My surprised gaze jumps up to Dani, who just smiles and shrugs a shoulder. “It was a big day, but Birdie did fabulous. It’s going to be a great year.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” Birdie slips her hand into mine, and I give her a little squeeze. “Should we get pizza for dinner to celebrate?”

“Pepperoni,” she says with an enthusiastic nod.

“Join us,” I say to Dani. It’s not a question, but she’s already shaking her head.

“Oh, thank you, but I’m going to Holden and Millie’s for dinner tonight. You guys enjoy your pizza. I have to go talk to this parent. Thank you for a great first day, Birdie.”

She gives me a little wave, and then she’s off, and Birdie is already dragging me toward the truck.

“I’m starving , Daddy. We might need two pizzas.”