Chapter 3
Chapter Three
On the phone with his son, Trevor took in the view outside the window of his hotel room. In December, Iceland got about four hours of daylight, and since there were no city lights this far from Reykjavik, the sky was ablaze with stars. Moonlight hit the ocean and shattered.
It was wondrous and beautiful, and yet, somehow, it was hauntingly lonely.
Or maybe that’s just me.
“Girls okay?” he asked.
“Put it this way, we’ve got trash bins stationed by each bed,” Cole said. “And we’ve been giving them cool baths to get their fevers down.”
“Damn. How badly do you wish you hadn’t retired from hockey?” Trevor was only joking, but it landed wrong. Because what a shitty thing to say when he hadn’t been there to soothe his own child’s fevers. He hadn’t taken him to the ER when his head hit the ice during practice.
No, he’d paid nannies to do that.
That familiar cold, hollow feeling came over him. But he reminded himself he had a new direction. A new purpose.
“I know it sounds weird, considering I’m ankle-deep in puke,” Cole said. “But when my girls are hurting, I want to comfort them. Never thought I’d say it, but there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
They’d discussed it at length, so there was no reason to bring up his absence again, but still, Trevor couldn’t help himself. “You’re giving them the love you wished you’d had as a child.”
His son’s silence went on a little too long. Wind battered the window, and Trevor’s breath fogged the glass.
Say something, Cole.
“Okay, darling.” Behind him, Darby’s heels clicked on the bathroom floor. “Your fabulous fiancée is ready. Turn around and tell me how gorgeous I look.”
But he was suspended in time, waiting for his son’s response. Not once had Cole pitched a fit or rebelled. He’d never railed at his dad for not giving him care and attention. He’d just…accepted it.
“I think you’re right,” Cole said in a low, quiet tone.
Relief shuddered through him. Just the acknowledgment, getting it out in the open, eased the massive weight of guilt.
“But, Dad, you know, the past is gone. You can’t go back and make different choices. What matters is, since you retired, you’ve been there for me. I like what we have today. I chose you as the best man in my wedding for a reason. Outside of my wife and kids, you’re the most important person in my life.”
Which was saying something because Cole had a great group of childhood friends. “And you know you’re mine.”
“Yeah, I do. Which, I guess, is the point. You’re a terrific grandfather to my kids. They worship the ground you walk on. Dad, we’re good. I’m good.”
Darby sidled up to him, putting her hand on his shoulder, urging him to turn around.
But he was still locked in this conversation with his son. Because he wanted to bring up the issue. He wanted to be family —not a guest. Not someone they felt they had to entertain.
Why did your wife say she can’t handle one more person under her roof?
But now was not the time. Not when the girls were sick. Besides, it needed to be done face-to-face. “Yeah, okay. Keep me posted. If you need anything, I’m a plane ride away.”
Once he disconnected, doubt grabbed hold of him.
Because his instincts had always been wrong. Obviously, since that was how he’d lost the only woman he’d ever loved. And they’d been wrong every time he’d signed a new contract to do the next film instead of coming home to raise his son.
Maybe they were wrong now. Maybe he should’ve stayed in Calamity and brought over soup and ginger ale. Done a few loads of laundry.
“What’s wrong?” Darby’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.
He pocketed his phone. “Just checking in on my family.”
“Yeah, I know, but you’re just standing there. Is everything okay? It’s just the flu, right?”
“Yep.”
“That really sucks. Bad timing for them. But really, thank God, we’re not there. I hate getting sick. Especially this Christmas.” She got up on her toes and kissed his cheek. “Because I get to parade you around. No more pitying looks for the spinster Darby.” She shook her head. “I’ve won more NASCAR races than any other woman in history, and the only thing I get from my family is, ‘Did you know Emil is single again?’ Or, ‘I’ve got this guy you should meet. You’d love him.’” Her thumb rubbed off the lipstick imprint she’d left on his skin. “Well, not this year. Now, let’s see what my brother’s got cooking.”
But he couldn’t shake the feeling he’d gotten it wrong. And he very much wanted to get it right with his son. In fact, nothing was more important than knowing whether he’d made the right choice in leaving town for Christmas. “Go on without me. I’ll catch up with you in a minute.”
“What? No. My brother cooked for us.”
“I know. But I’m worried about my family.”
“They have the flu.” She studied him. “What’s really going on?”
They hadn’t known each other long enough to discuss regrets and life choices. It had only been a month. But they were getting married. Eventually, they’d have to unpack a lot of history, and he might as well start now. “I have some guilt about the way I raised him.”
“Oh, for God’s sake.” She gripped his elbows. “Look at me. Your son is happy, healthy, and living his best life. He was one of the greatest forwards in the NHL, and now, he’s married with four children… He’s good, Trev. Really good.”
“He is. But I caused him a lot of pain.”
“Well, that’s part of the human experience, isn’t it? We’re flawed, and because of that, sometimes, we hurt the people we love. But let me tell you something. You were allowed to have a big career. You were allowed to follow your dreams and live out your passions.”
Yeah, that was something else they hadn’t talked about. How do you explain that the field you spent thirty years in wasn’t your passion? How do you tell a woman who loves her career, who throws herself into life with such zest , that you don’t feel passionate about anything?
Only some one . But at least, Darby knew about that. She understood she wasn’t the great love of his life.
“You didn’t abandon your son.” Darby’s confidence was empowering. “You didn’t ignore him. You provided him with the best of everything. And when you look at what he achieved in life, you can see you were a great role model. Now, let him deal with four puking children. Believe me, the last thing he wants right now is a heart-to-heart with his guilt-stricken dad.”
That was true.
“And we need to talk to our wedding planner, who’s only in town for a few days, so come on.” She sashayed away from him. Glancing over her shoulder, she said, “Show off your fiancée.”
As they headed out of their room, he asked, “We’re keeping this wedding small, right?”
“Oh God, no. It’s a first for both of us. Let’s make a splash.”
She was good for him. She yanked his mind out of the past. He smiled and reached for her hand. “Whatever you want.”
“How did you know those are my three favorite words?” She grinned at him. “I think we’re going to get along just fine.”
He’d met Chris earlier, so he recognized the man’s booming laugh as they approached the dining room, but he hadn’t met the assistant or the wedding planner since they’d spent the day working.
Just before they entered, he heard a woman say, “Hang on. Let me grab it. Be right back.”
His pulse quickened, and he couldn’t say why. There was something about that voice, something familiar, but in this context, this hotel in Iceland… It didn’t make sense.
Curiosity had him pulling ahead of Darby, wondering if it was someone he knew. But that was impossible, of course. He didn’t know anyone in this country, other than the Pullmans.
He didn’t get to see her, though, because just as he entered, the woman he assumed was the wedding planner whisked around a corner. He caught a deep teal dress and miles of thick blond hair.
His blood roared in his ears. His reaction didn’t make sense, but Chris was smiling at him and reaching out a hand in welcome. Trevor grasped it. “Thank you for making dinner for us. It’s much appreciated.”
“It’s what my ex-wife used to call my ‘creative outlet.’” Chris gestured to the empty chairs. “Sit, sit. We’re eating family style.” He grinned at his sister. “I made your favorite.”
She scanned the offerings, and when her gaze landed on one dish in particular, she brightened. “Mac and cheese?”
Chris lifted the casserole lid. “Yep. But it’s the grown-up version with lobster.”
“Oh, my God. I haven’t eaten anything that decadent in ages. Yum.” She wrapped her hands around the porcelain bowl and dragged it toward her. “So, what’re you guys having?”
Trevor laughed. “It’s all yours.”
“More of a meat man?” Chris asked.
“Totally. And he can’t stand cheese.” Darby shook her head. “Can you imagine? Who doesn’t like cheese?”
“Well, hopefully, you like elk.” Chris looked at him questioningly. “Not sure you’ve had that before.”
“I’m Wyoming, born and raised,” Trevor said. “If it’s got four legs and a tail, we eat it.”
Chris laughed. “Perfect.” He gestured to the platters. “Help yourselves.”
“Where’s the wedding planner?” Darby asked. “I want to make sure she can pull this off in under two months. That’s a big ask.”
Chris shot his sister an irritated look. “She’s not a wedding planner. I told you that. She’s a world-renowned designer, and I hired her to turn Gapi’s hotel into a luxury resort. Now, she’s generously agreed to renovate the place in time for the event, but that’s not her purpose here.”
“Okay, I’m sorry. But, Chrissy, I’m getting married . Isn’t that crazy?” She reached for Trevor’s hand. “And look who I scored. Not only is he the most handsome man in the world, but he’s a really good guy. I can’t believe how lucky I got.”
“I’m happy for you. I am.” Her brother leaned forward and lowered his voice. “But I need you to understand how important she is to me. Please treat her with the respect she’s earned in her business the same way you expect it in yours.”
Darby’s cheeks turned pink. “Okay, I hear you. So, where is she? When do we get to meet her?”
“She went to get her tablet,” Chris said. “She’s got some ideas to show me.”
Trevor’s phone vibrated, and he discreetly checked the screen in case it was Cole. It was. His son sent a photo of all four girls sprawled on the couch with blankets, stuffed animals, and big silver bowls at their feet.
He smiled and shot off a text.
Trevor: Tell them we’ll go on a sleigh ride when I get back.
“Okay, here we go—” a woman called.
The designer swept into the room, bringing a fresh, clean scent with her. It held notes of a familiar flower. What was it?
Wait, isn’t that the same perfume my daughter-in-law wears?
It is. That’s lyantha.
But his son had responded, so he kept his attention on the screen.
Cole: They’d love that. Paisley says she wants hot cocoa.
Trevor: Her wish is my command.
A chair scraped back, and Trevor glanced up. His first impression of the woman was thick, buttery hair, a mouth made for kissing, and a teal dress that molded to lush curves.
A fireball of lust exploded from deep within, confusing the ever-loving hell out of him.
“Hello, I’m Jessica.” She shook Darby’s hand.
And then, her attention turned to him.
Their gazes caught.
Locked.
The world narrowed to the two of them, and the only sound was his heart banging in his chest.
Elzy?
My Elzy?
She’s here?
How is this happening?
The designer was Elzy’s doppelg?nger, right? What other explanation could there be?
But no. From her reaction, it was clear.
Jesus. She’s here.
Elzy’s right fucking here.
“My Calamity Jane.” He heard his voice as if it came from the bottom of a well.
But her expression—the agony in her eyes—tore him out of his shock and plunked him right back into the dining room of this old hotel in Iceland.
“You’re the groom ?” Elzy must’ve heard her tone because her eyes widened, and color spilled into her cheeks.
“You’re the wedding planner?” The moment the words flew out of his mouth, tension gripped the room, and he understood his error. “I’m sorry. Designer. Resort designer.”
“That’s right.” Her smile turned stiff.
“What’re you doing here?” As soon as he asked, he realized how offensive that sounded. “I’m sorry. It’s just such a wild coincidence.”
“Yes. Small world.” She stood there, frozen, the only movement a slight tremble in the hand that clutched her tablet.
“What’s going on?” Darby’s voice cracked the shell of wonder between them. “How do you two know each other?”
It was obvious Elzy was having a hard time recovering her professional demeanor, so he slipped into his movie star persona. Now wasn’t the time for a personal conversation. “Jessica and I go way back.”
“To?” Darby seemed genuinely curious.
“We grew up together.” Elz gave a smile he didn’t recognize and took her seat.
“No kidding?” Chris laughed. “How long’s it been since you’ve seen each other?”
“Not since we were kids. But Trevor and I can catch up later.” Elzy tapped the screen of her tablet. “Right now, let me fill you in on the progress we’ve made today.”
Trevor barely heard a word she said. Something about tastings, breweries…a trip up north to meet a man. A potential concierge.
But everything was a blur. Because he’d plummeted back through time.
To when he was four years old and kicking the back of his mom’s seat. A moment he never would’ve remembered had he not looked out the window and seen a curtain of blond hair swinging, and a girl his age stomping her legs and pumping her arms. He’d been mesmerized.
Because in the middle of all the Saturday morning chaos at the feedstore, this girl was in her own world, doing a weird monster dance, with not a fuck given to anyone watching her. He’d asked his mom to open his window so he could hear the music. But it turned out, there wasn’t any. The song played in her head.
In that moment, he’d wanted to be in her head. He’d wanted to hear the music. He’d wanted to know her.
He catapulted forward to when he’d tried to hold her hand for the very first time in middle school, and she’d smacked it away. As soon as she realized what she’d done, she’d laughed and told him she thought it was a bug landing on her.
The summer after her mom died, her dad sent the sisters to Illinois to spend time with an aunt. The moment she’d come back to town, he’d hopped on his bike and pedaled all the way to her house. He’d caught a glimpse of her through the open front door, so he’d jumped off the bike and run inside the house.
He’d slammed into her so hard, he’d knocked them both to the floor. But she hadn’t pushed him off. In fact, she hadn’t said a word. Just hugged him so tightly he’d lost sight of where he ended and she began.
On prom night, she’d come downstairs in a swishy, pretty dress, and he’d stopped breathing to the point that her dad had smacked his back. You okay, son? You choke on an ice cube? But he was so struck by her sultry-eyed, luscious-lipped beauty, by the fucking honor of this magnificent goddess choosing him, loving him, desiring him, that he couldn’t believe it.
He just couldn’t believe he got to be with Jessica Elsworth.
The girl who didn’t give a damn what anyone thought of her. Who was fiercely independent. She was funny, rebellious, creative, sexy, and deeply compassionate.
And he’d loved her with every fiber of his being.
“All right then. We’re all set.” Elzy got up.
He sped to the present so quickly he grew dizzy and felt nauseous. “You’re leaving?”
“Jet lag’s caught up with me, so I’ll see you in the morning.” She waved, not once looking at him. “Goodnight.”
Disoriented, he watched her go. How much time had passed? He hadn’t touched his dinner, and her plate was empty. He wanted to grab some food and leave it outside her door. Make sure she had a full meal.
But she was treating him like an acquaintance from high school. Someone she’d barely known.
And, after thirty years, he supposed that was exactly what he was to her.
The longing, the yearning, the love that simply would not die, was all in his head.
Not hers.
Because he’d extinguished it long ago.
“Does that sound good?” Darby asked him.
He’d missed another conversation. But he didn’t care. “Yep. I’m all yours.”
He’d meant his schedule was all hers, of course, but from her smile, he realized she thought he meant he was all hers, body and soul.
And that was when it struck him—he’d agreed to marry this woman.
The day before he’d finally found Elzy again.
And now, she was planning his wedding.