When You Were Mine (Mistletoe and Silver Foxes #2)

Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Jessica carried on to the lobby, where she found a tall, lean man wearing a dark-red beanie and an unzipped puffy coat. She shook his hand. “Hi, I’m Jessica. Thanks so much for coming out here.”

“Emil.” His voice was gruff, his demeanor reserved. “It’s no problem.”

Well, we’re not hiring him for his personality. “I thought I was asking for the impossible, looking for someone who understands the topography of the area and comes with outstanding recommendations, so I couldn’t be happier to find you.”

As his gaze wandered around the dated lobby, he seemed uncomfortable, almost like he expected ghosts to float by.

“We’re excited about the renovation,” she continued. “This place has a great layout, and when we’re finished, it’s going to be spectacular.” In other words, you’ll want to be associated with this resort . “Would you like me to give you a tour of the property?”

“Not necessary.” His gaze swung back to her. “I’ve been here before.”

“Okay, well, let’s get that interview started.”

Instead of following her, he stayed rooted in place. “I need to know who referred me. Was it Chris? Did he ask you to call?”

She studied him for a moment, trying to figure out what was going on. “No. I’m the one who found you. Do you have an issue with him?”

“Not at all. Chris is a good guy.” He seemed conflicted.

“Then, what’s the problem?” She needed to get to the bottom of this. “Have you worked here before?”

“No, but I spent time here in the summer when I was younger.”

Every single person she hired impacted a guest’s impression of the resort. One bad interaction could prompt a scathing review. This man’s broodiness and clipped answers were unacceptable. “Emil, I have a very small window of time to hire the right people. If you’re not interested in this job, let’s not waste each other’s time.”

“Is this a family project?” He seemed too preoccupied to hear her. “Are all the Pullmans in on this?”

In on this? Did he think he was being pranked? This is bizarre. “This is Chris’s project, though his family will handle the renovation. If that’s not going to work for you, you need to tell me now.” His attitude was concerning, and she wouldn’t subject the owner to it. She’d walk him right back out the door if there was even a hint of an issue.

“Yeah.” Shame crept across his features. “That’s fair.” His shoulders pushed back, and he wiped his face clean of broodiness. “I’m interested in the job. You won’t find anyone better.”

She was still uncertain, but he held strong under her scrutiny, so she decided to move forward with him. “Okay, let’s go meet Chris.” She led him down a wide hallway. “So, as I said in our text exchange, they’re hosting a wedding at the end of January, so we’re going to spruce up the original B&B section of the hotel. I’d like you to think outside of the box and see what you can come up with. I’m looking for elegance but also drama that fits the surroundings.”

“I can do that.”

“Great.” She swept into the dining room and approached the table. “Everyone, please welcome Emil Birgisson.”

A bizarre chain reaction unfolded. Chris shot a look of concern to Darby. Darby’s gaze snapped over to Emil. And the landscaper went stock-still.

“Did you do this?” Darby asked her brother in a choked whisper.

“What?” Chris asked. “Of course not. I’ve left everything to Jess.”

Brother and sister turned to her as if she understood the past dynamics of this family. “He’s the most celebrated landscaper in the country,” Jess said. “I’ve seen his work. He’s a true artist. I don’t think we’re going to find anyone better.” And this is why rushing a job is problematic. She didn’t have time to learn about relationships. “I’m sensing we have some personal issues to work out.”

“No, we don’t,” Chris said. “Darby lives in North Carolina, so I don’t see how hiring her ex-boyfriend matters.”

Oh . Now, she understood the pain in Darby’s eyes. The vulnerability pierced Jess’s heart because, so far, this woman had been nothing but confident and strong.

“She won’t even be back until the wedding.” Chris wiped his mouth with a napkin and stood up. “Come on, Emil. Let’s go into my office and talk.”

With every step the landscaper took away from her, Darby grew more anxious. It was like her spirit was tethered to him. She watched him with an almost desperate need for him to acknowledge her, but he just kept going.

While Darby remained silent, her eyes screamed, Look at me. Talk to me.

Jess felt for her so deeply. She could hardly catch her breath with Trevor sitting across the table from her. She couldn’t think. Couldn’t eat. She could barely function.

When Emil was two steps from turning the corner, he paused. His chest expanded as he drew in a breath. Darby’s expression opened, hope burning in her eyes.

The tension was unbearable.

But then, the man continued on. And in two steps, he was gone.

Darby deflated, and Jess wanted to hug her. She wanted to say, It’ll be all right. Whatever this pain is, it’ll fade over time.

But she’d be lying. Because she was living proof it thrashed like a living beast inside her.

“Come on,” Jasper said to Jess, flicking her seat with his napkin to brush away imaginary crumbs. “Take a few bites. You’ve got a busy day.”

She sat back down and picked up her fork, but no one was eating. Everyone was watching Darby.

“You okay?” Trevor asked his fiancée.

That simple question, spoken with such gentle concern, broke something in Jess.

It was so much easier to think he’d become a vain, entitled movie star. But that gentle tone and concerned expression? That was the man she remembered. The way he patiently waited for his fiancée to answer, the way he never turned his attention from her, that was the same kindness he’d always shown her as a teenager.

It hurt worse to know he hadn’t changed.

That someone else got to be the recipient of it.

“I don’t know.” Darby said it with a laugh, but she was clearly upset. “I haven’t seen him in twenty-six years.” She pressed a hand to her heart. “Whoo. I did not expect this reaction.”

Trevor gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

“Remember that great love we talked about?” Darby asked as if no one else was at the table. “Emil was mine. He was my first everything. I thought he’d be my last. We were going to America together, but at the last minute, he bailed on me. Never even told me why.” She glanced up at Jasper and Jess. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t want to hear any of this. I’m just…rattled.”

“It’s okay.” Jess understood better than Darby would ever know.

“I thought I was over him. I thought…” Darby waved her hand as if flicking away dust motes. “I was so sure I didn’t have any feelings left.”

And that was the moment Jess couldn’t help herself. She finally looked at Trevor.

And found him watching her. He looked ravaged. The stark desperation in his eyes was almost too much to bear.

Had she gotten it wrong? Was he as shaken about seeing her as she was about him?

“I feel so foolish. I’m sorry.” Darby shook her head. “I think it’s just too much at once. I’m jet-lagged, newly engaged, and the last thing I expected was to bump into Emil in my grandparents’ hotel. Okay, enough. Let’s go over the schedule again.” She let out a strained laugh. “I’m a race car driver. Trust me, I normally have better focus than this.”

She could see how badly Darby needed to recover, so she clicked the side button of her tablet, awakening the screen. “So, like I said, our first tasting is here at ten. Hákon Bjornsson’s a chef on Westman Island, who’s looking to move back to the mainland. Considering the name he’s made for himself on an island that gets so little business in winter, I’m looking forward to seeing what he can do. After that, we head into the city to meet with two other chefs.”

But Darby’s napkin had become an origami project, and a storm of emotion clouded Trevor’s eyes. Neither was listening. Neither cared.

Jess set the tablet down. “It’s a busy day with four hours of driving, so you certainly don’t have to participate. I think your brother was hoping you’d choose a chef for the wedding weekend, but I can work that out on my own if you’d rather not make the drive.”

“Oh, I’ll be happy with whoever you choose,” Darby said. “I’m not a foodie at all.”

But Trevor is.

“We’re going,” Trevor said definitively, looking Jess right in the eyes. “To all of them.”

“Of course.” Darby patted his thigh. “He’s particular about his food.”

It was more than that though. Trevor ate with gusto. As a kid, he’d take a huge bite of watermelon, close his eyes, and declare, “Damn, that’s good.” Or she’d make him cookies, and he’d gobble them up, telling her she was magic in the kitchen.

Of course, he’d devoured her the same way he did a slice of watermelon. He did everything with gusto.

So, maybe that was his nature. It wasn’t about her specifically.

Oh, man. That hurt.

Her hand pressed on her chest, but nothing could soothe the ache. So, she forced her thoughts back on business. “Next on my list is, do you know how many guests you’re inviting? We need to know how many rooms to renovate.” She figured—between Hollywood and NASCAR—they’d have a lot. This might be a bigger project than Chris realized.

“I don’t know.” Confident, badass Darby Pullman was now uneasy and a little lost. “We talked about it, and we can’t agree. Trev wants it small.”

Trev? He used to hate when people shortened his name. “How hard is it to go for the second syllable? Is it so exhausting to add the or?”

“And I want it huge.” Darby rallied with a smile. “But then, I’m over-the-top on everything.”

“Don’t let him fool you. He loves the attention.” Only after the words came out did Jess realize how unprofessional she’d sounded. Really? Making fun of your client’s future brother-in-law? But she’d said it, and she had to turn it into humor. “Mr. What-Am-I-Wearing-Under-My-Kilt is notoriously over-the-top.”

Jasper and Darby laughed, but she wanted to slink under the table. Way to let him know he was getting to her.

“Oh, that’s for show,” Darby said. “He’s not really like that.”

But Trevor watched her, head tilted as if trying to figure her out.

She was being immature and petty, and it stopped right then and there.

No doubt about it, planning his wedding to another woman was the cruelest job she’d ever had, but her reputation was on the line, and she wouldn’t let Chris down. “We’ll need to figure that out as soon as possible. I’ve found a hotel supplier, so I’ll start ordering things as soon as I get a number from you.”

“Trev?” Darby nudged him. “How many people are you inviting?”

“Inviting?” He looked like he’d just snapped out of a fugue state. He sat up and tossed his napkin down on the table. “We have some things to talk about.” When he stood up, he addressed Jess. “We’ll see you at ten for the tasting.”

He waited for Darby, and together, they left the dining room.

He didn’t even look back at her.

After a moment of silence, Jasper said, “Well, that happened.”

She’d made a total fool of herself. “I shouldn’t have made the kilt comment.”

“Oh, that’s not the issue.” Jasper seemed amused.

“You think he’s jealous about Emil?”

Jasper broke into a slow grin. “No, I’m not thinking that’s the issue at all.” He pushed back his chair. “I’m thinking you two might’ve been more than just pals in that little ole town of yours.”

“We might’ve been a thing.” She attempted a teasing tone, but she couldn’t play. She was devastated. Confused. Her entire world had turned upside down, and she was shaken. “But that was a very long time ago.”

“Are we going to pretend that handsome hunk of man flesh wasn’t staring at you so hard he was literally willing you to pay attention to him? And really, good on you for not giving it to him.”

“Why?”

“Because you just played him like a fiddle.”

She shook her head. “Believe me, I’m not playing. And now, you and I have work to do.”

And if she didn’t dive into it, she’d be obsessing over everything Jasper just said.

Because the last thing she wanted was to play games with her ex.

She wanted to finish this job and get out of there.

She wanted to get as far away from Trevor Montgomery as she could.

He’d made the decision yesterday, the moment he’d laid eyes on her.

Since then, his mind had been revving, his thoughts spinning, but it was the mention of a guest list that snapped him into focus.

Because he couldn’t waste anyone’s time with something that would never happen.

He had to end this engagement, but it had to be done privately.

Unfortunately, they didn’t make it halfway across the lobby before Darby stopped and turned around. Distress carved deep lines in the skin around her eyes.

“You okay?” he asked. “You forget something?”

“No.” She let out an uncomfortable laugh. “Well, yes, actually. My mind.”

In the month they’d known each other, she’d been full of energy and confidence. She ran her business like a pro, taking no shit and yet rewarding her team with praise, encouragement, and a good deal of autonomy.

But right then, she seemed lost and confused, haunted by her ex.

He could relate. “Do you need to go talk to him?”

“No. He’s in an interview.”

“You can wait for him in the dining room.” It would put off their conversation, but she wasn’t going to be able to focus on anything else.

“Yeah. That’s probably a good idea.”

In his peripheral vision, he caught a flash of red and black—the colors of Elzy’s blouse. Anticipation exploded in his chest.

Is it her?

Shit. Yes.

It’s Elzy.

He could not let her go. “Meet you back in the room?”

“Sure.”

He took off, his boots smacking on the hardwood floor. He had no idea what he’d say, no plan for what to do. He only knew that his Elzy was there, and he had to be with her.

But the moment he caught up with her in the hallway, her eyes flared. She looked trapped.

And that confused him. How could she not be as excited by the outrageous alignment of their paths crossing here in Iceland?

Of being together again?

Her steps faltered, and her path arced around him like he was a feral animal or a steaming pile of crap in the middle of a sidewalk.

Holy shit.

He hadn’t expected that reaction. What do I do? He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. He should back off, leave her alone.

She strode past him, leaving him in a soft, subtle cloud of her perfume.

But he couldn’t let her go. Not when he’d just found her. “Elz.” His voice came out a hoarse, raw whisper. And yeah, maybe he sounded a little hurt.

But she wouldn’t even look at him. She just hurried past.

He had to fix it. He had to make it right .

He took off after her. “Elzy.” He said it sharply this time, demanding an acknowledgment. “Can you stop for a minute?”

“I’m afraid not. I’m really busy right now.” She tossed it over her shoulder as if he were a stranger on the street asking for a handout. “I’ll see you at ten.” She stopped outside her door, pressed her key to the pad, and slipped inside.

Did she plan on spending the next couple of days avoiding him? No . Without thinking, he kicked his leg out. His boot slammed against the door, stopping it from closing.

He was pretty sure her alarmed expression mirrored his.

She stood there wild-eyed, confused. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know.” He really didn’t. He wasn’t a violent man. He wasn’t aggressive. He just… This is Elzy. My Elzy. I have to see her. I have to talk to her . “But that fucking door was in the way.”

“You’re not James Mackintosh, leader of the clan, you know. This isn’t a movie set where you drag me back to your lair.” She flapped her hand at him. “Just go.”

“Not until we talk.”

“Well, I guess that answers my question.” She sounded exasperated.

“What question?”

“About whether being a movie star turned you into an entitled jerk.”

“Entitled? Elzy, we haven’t seen each other in thirty years and seven months, and you don’t think it’s crazy that we both wind up in this exact hotel in Iceland at the same time?”

“Where I get to plan your wedding ? Yes, Trevor, that is pretty crazy.”

The stark pain in her eyes gutted him, and he crashed. The rush of adrenaline, the compulsion to see her, it all just burned out. “It’s not what it—” But he shut his mouth. Because he couldn’t tell her the truth until he talked to Darby first.

Fine, but there was zero possibility he’d walk away from this opportunity to be with his heart. “How are you?” The question landed lamely, as it should have.

She gave him a dull look. “If I answer, will you leave?”

“Probably not.”

“Look, I don’t know what you want from me. We’ve been apart more than twice as long as we were together. There’s nothing left between us.”

“There sure as hell is. At least for me.” He reached for her but lowered his arms when she recoiled. “Elz, there’s not a day that goes by that I—” Shit. Fuck . Again, it wasn’t fair to Darby to confess these feelings to his ex.

“That you what? Don’t regret the choice you made to abandon me forty-three minutes after we got married? After that neat speech you gave about me being your inspiration, your motivation, the love of your life? You took the money I needed for my sister, and you never looked back.”

Shame hit him square in the chest. “That’s not fair. You know I came back for you. And I tried getting a job, but the director told me it was a violation of my contract.” By the time he’d scraped up the money and sent it to her, it was far too late. Her niece was eighteen months old by then.

“I don’t care. I really don’t.” She lifted both hands in surrender. “I handled it. And you know what? I’m so glad I did because my sisters have turned into wonderful women. They’re married, they’re moms, and we all work together. I like the way my life turned out. And clearly, you’re living your best life. So, what else is there to say?”

“I’m glad things turned out well. But we’re here, Elz. We’re right here, together.”

“So? Did you think we’d reminisce? Pull out the scrapbook and laugh about old times? Well, guess what? I don’t have time for that. Besides, your life’s been well documented in the media.”

“That’s not my life?—”

She held up a hand. “I don’t care. I’m here for work, that’s it.” And then, she tipped her head. “Oh, okay. I get what’s really going on here. You want me to say the magic words to release you from the pesky guilt that keeps rearing up when an image of me alone in that motel room drops into your mind.”

“You’re right.” She’d nailed it. He did live with that exact image. “I do have guilt. And that memory comes up a lot. But that has nothing to do with why I’m happy to see you. Because Elzy, I have never forgotten you. I’ve thought about you every day for thirty years.”

“Were you thinking about me when your son was born two years after we eloped? How about when you proposed to Darby? Or were those just the two moments in your life when you forgot about the high school girlfriend you married and then walked out on?” She pressed a hand to her forehead. She let out a frustrated breath. “Listen to me. I sound so bitter. Well, look, I don’t hold you accountable for something you did when you were just a kid. And let me assure you, I have a great life, and everything worked out the way it should. Okay? Are we good now?”

Once, they’d been filming along the River Spey. It was an action scene. He was charging after the clansman who’d run off with stolen booty, but it had been raining heavily, and he’d sunk into the mud. There was a moment of panic when he couldn’t move. He was trapped, and everyone was relying on him—cameras were rolling—actors were running—and he couldn’t lift his feet.

That’s what this feels like . She stood there, fiery, explosively angry, expecting a response from him, but he was stuck, and he couldn’t get his brain to function well enough to answer.

Because for the first time, he was hearing it from her perspective, and she was right.

But she didn’t know the whole truth. How could she?

Tell her. Talk to her.

He had the chance to clear things up, but his brain was sluggish, and he couldn’t kick it into gear, so he said the only thing that came to mind. “There has never been anything better in my life than you.”

“Except the woman you slept with a few months after you got to Scotland?” She waved a hand dismissively. “Forget it. This conversation’s going nowhere. We were kids, living some kind of Bonnie and Clyde fantasy. It was a lifetime ago.”

“It doesn’t feel like it. It feels like it was yesterday.”

“Well, today , your fiancée is waiting for you, so you really shouldn’t be in another woman’s room.”

But you’re not another woman.

You’re the only woman.

He couldn’t say any of that, though. Not until he ended things with Darby.

And yet…

Now that she’s back in my life, I can’t walk away. I can’t be anywhere in this world except with her.

“Why are you just standing there? Go.” Her tone turned imploring. “God, Trevor. What do you want from me?”

Everything. From this day forward, I want everything with you. “I handled this all wrong, and I’m sorry for upsetting you.”

I have to clean everything up.

But I’ll be back, and I’ll make it right.

I will fix this.

The moment he turned away the door slammed so hard it jarred his bones. He knew, if she had her way, she’d never talk to him again.

But she wouldn’t have her way. She was his other half, woven into the fabric of his soul.

He’d lost her—and that was one-hundred-percent his fault. But now, by some crazy miracle, their paths had crossed.

He finally had a shot to win her back

He wouldn’t blow it.