When You Were Mine (Mistletoe and Silver Foxes #2)

Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Trevor woke up happy.

No, it was better than that. He was content.

With a grin on his face, he stretched. Before opening his eyes, he breathed in her scent, and it sent him right back into her arms, her mouth, her body. The press of his face into her neck, the sting of her fists in his hair.

She’s back.

She’s mine.

Gratitude got a hard grip on him, and he made a silent vow to never take her for granted. To always listen, pay attention. To talk to her before making decisions.

Opening his eyes, he rolled onto his side, ready to kiss her shoulder.

But her side of the bed was empty. It startled him, but it was okay. Air thick with steam reassured him she was showering. She had a busy day planned.

He’d give her some space, stay under the covers a little longer. The first thing he’d do when he got home was put his house on the market. What memories did it hold for him, other than his failure as a father and the painful loneliness of living in a home with nannies?

Besides, they’d need a place of their own.

Robbers Roost.

Yeah. Second on the list was to start looking for ranches.

They’d tour properties together, and he just knew her mind would start spinning out design and renovation ideas. He smiled when he pictured those slate-blue kitchen cabinets she’d always wanted. Had her tastes changed?

He couldn’t wait for the day both their families came together for the holidays. His childhood had been so damn sad, so quiet, that he looked forward to Christmases, birthdays, and Easter egg hunts with lots of laughter, cookies baking, and children racing around.

Me and Elzy.

Wild Billy and Calamity Jane.

Forever.

Damn, how many times had they made love last night? Arousal kept awakening him, and he’d found his hands roaming her body, his face burrowing into her neck. When he’d grabbed hold of her breast and squeezed, she’d moaned so sexily, he’d had to slide inside her hot, slick heat.

His cock went stiff at the memory. He was insatiable for her.

“Elz?” He threw back the covers, but when she didn’t answer, he tensed.

Because he remembered.

We’re not back together. I need you to understand that.

This is just one night. I need to know you’re okay with that.

No, I’m not fucking okay with that . He stalked to the bathroom. The faint dampness and scent of perfumed soap and lotion lingered, but it was empty.

When he saw she’d taken her tote bags, fear exploded in his chest. He grabbed his slacks and dug into the pockets until he found his phone.

Trevor: Hey, where are you?

Elzy: Waiting to talk to the concierge. I need to rent a car and get directions.

Trevor: I have a car. And GPS. I can get us back to the hotel.

Elzy: I’m not going to the hotel. I’m going north.

This is bullshit. He called her.

“Hey.” She sounded pleasant and professional.

“ Hey? ” After the night they spent together, that was all he got? “Were you planning on taking off without me?”

She didn’t answer right away. “No.”

“You took everything with you.”

“Okay, yes, I’m leaving. You know I’ve got a tight schedule—that’s now become even tighter thanks to a storm. But if you want to have breakfast before I leave, that’s fine.”

He scraped a hand through his hair. “Breakfast? You think I want fucking breakfast with you? Elzy, I want forever. I want you for the rest of my life and all the way across eternity.”

“I told you last night?—”

“I know what you told me. But that was before I looked into your eyes and saw your actual feelings. And now, you’re telling me it meant nothing? Because it rocked my fucking world, Elz.”

“Trevor, I’m sorry, but I have to go. It’s my turn with the concierge. I’ll talk to you later.”

She disconnected.

Oh, hell no.

Look, he took full accountability for her reluctance. He wasn’t foolish enough to think she could trust him again so easily. Which was fine. He’d be patient. He’d give her all the time she needed to learn he’d changed and wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

What he wouldn’t give her was space.

Nope. None of that shit.

In yesterday’s pants and dress shirt and carrying the bags of gifts, Trevor strode out of the elevator to find thirteen costumed men dressed as Yule lads in the lobby.

Wearing fake white beards and wool beanies, they carried burlap sacks of candy canes. Playing up their roles as tricksters, they yanked hats off kids, spun women around as if they were on the dance floor, and broke into random summersaults and cartwheels.

Despite the chaos, he found Elzy immediately. She stood by the fireplace watching him approach. With her chin tipped, a mask of professionalism in place, he could practically hear her internal thoughts: I told you last night was closure. Nothing more.

Yeah, fuck that. The moment he reached her, he dropped his bags, wound an arm around her waist, and jerked her up against him. He kissed her right there in the lobby, a deep, slow, exploration of the only mouth he would ever taste again.

When she was well and truly soft and pliant in his arms, he said, “Hungry?”

Pink stained her cheeks, and he’d kissed the lipstick off her mouth. “I could eat.” As he grinned at her shaky voice, she reached into her purse and pulled out a sleek, black tube.

When she moved to apply the red lipstick, he said, “Unless you want to run out of that shit, don’t bother.”

She tossed it back into her purse, but he didn’t miss the smile she was fighting. “There’s a restaurant I’d like to try,” she said. “My car should be here by then.”

“Sounds like we have options. We either un-rent it, or we drive your rental, and I leave Chris’s car here. Up to you.” Either way, I’m going with you.

And before he could come up with a single reason to convince this competent, independent, professional, badass woman why she needed his help or his company, she said, “I can’t un-rent the car, but if you want to drive, then I’ll be able to get some work done.”

“Sounds like a plan. Well, let’s not burn any more daylight.” Of course, that expression didn’t apply to Iceland in winter. At this early hour, it was still dark outside. He grabbed her bags and headed for the concierge. “Can you hang on to these for about an hour?”

“You got it.” The man wrote out a ticket and handed it over.

“Thanks, man.”

“Oh, wait. Just one second.” She dug into one of her bags and pulled out a blue beanie with a puffin emblem. “Here.” She handed it to him.

“Thanks.” For the last twelve hours, he’d forgotten all about kilts and selfie sticks. Forgot about the last thirty years of his life in motion pictures. But he was glad for the disguise. He didn’t want anyone to interrupt his time with her.

As he headed into the revolving door, she held back, as if waiting for the second enclosure, but he grabbed her hand and hauled her into his. “I don’t like that you ran from me,” he said quietly in their private, glassed space. “But if you really want me to back off, I will. You call the shots. But just so there’s no doubt, I want this. Us.” Before she could answer, they spilled out onto the frosty pavement. “Damn, it’s cold.”

“That’s because the storm’s moving in faster than they expected.” She glanced up at the cloud cover. “Which is why I’ve changed my plans.”

“Changed them how?”

“I can’t miss my niece’s wedding tomorrow, so I moved up my flight. I’ll spend an hour or so with Piers and then head right back to the city.”

She could keep trying to convince herself they were nothing but high school flames getting high on the fumes of first love, but the tremble in her hands and heat in her eyes said otherwise.

That’s why she’s running. Because last night proved the passion, the love, still burned bright. Until she told him to fuck off, he was not giving up.

“It’s hard to get used to this kind of darkness at seven in the morning.”

“Right?” She laughed.

They joined a crowd gathered at the crosswalk. “So, what about the wine tasting? Are you skipping it?”

She cut him a look. “Since there’s no wedding, Chris can choose his own sommelier. I’m not needed for that.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry for misleading you.” Not a good start to earning her trust.

“Misleading, huh? Is that what we’re calling it?”

They headed across the street. “The moment I told you the truth, you would’ve sent me packing. I wouldn’t have had any reason to go to the tastings, and I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t miss out on this time with you. And, if you noticed, I didn’t pretend to be engaged. I wasn’t playing a role. I just didn’t announce that we’d called it off.”

“Whatever.”

Now was not the time to defend bad behavior. He brought their joined hands to his mouth and kissed the back of hers. “Nothing’s ‘whatever’ with us. I deceived you, and I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

He had one day left with her. One day to convince her to give him a second chance. He couldn’t afford any missteps.

“That’s it right there.” She pointed to a restaurant with glowing yellow windows. The wreath hanging on the restaurant door was made of books and lit by four electric candles. “The concierge recommended it. You haven’t eaten yet, have you?”

“Are you serious?” he asked. “I barely had time to shower.”

“Good. I’m starving.” She stopped to read the menu. “This looks great. What do you think?” When she looked up at him, she seemed surprised to find him standing so close.

Get used to it. “Why did you run?”

“I didn’t run .” The light from the restaurant illuminated the cloud of vapor coming out of her mouth when she spoke. “I think you forget I’m here to work. Chris isn’t paying me to lounge around in bed with my ex-boyfriend.”

He held her gaze because there was nothing to say. They both knew she was lying.

She let out a frustrated breath. “Fine. I ran.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re not on the same page and now is not the time to have that conversation.”

He sure as hell had his work cut out for him. But they had to get on the road, and the aroma of coffee was so strong, his stomach grumbled. “Let’s grab a table.” He held the door open, his hand pressing lightly against her lower back as he followed her into the bright, festive café. “Wait. This is a bookstore.”

“It’s both.”

The place was mobbed. “What’s going on here?”

“Apparently, in Iceland, everyone reads a book on Christmas Eve. How great is that? I might have to make it a thing with my own family.”

He wasn’t much of a reader, but an image hit of the two of them in his sitting room, a fire blazing, curled up on the loveseat as they drank hot tea and read. The only sound would be the pops and crackles from the fire. “That’s a tradition I can get behind.”

As long as I’m with you.

“They also open their presents on Christmas Eve.”

“What does that leave for Christmas Day?”

She shrugged. “That’s when they visit family and have parties. I learned all about it from the concierge. Which proves my point about how important their role is in a resort.”

She was doing it again. Wearing the “consultant” mask. “Let’s look for books after we eat.”

“I won’t be here tomorrow night, remember?” she asked. “I’m leaving tonight.”

“Okay, but we’re starting that tradition for ourselves, right? After you’re done celebrating with your family, you can read.” And I’ll do the same wherever I am.

He had several open invitations to spend holidays with good friends. His producer, Darby… But the only place he wanted to be was with his son and grandkids.

He’d call Cole and ask him how best to be in their lives. Time was too precious. He didn’t want to miss a moment with the people he loved. He’d done enough of that.

After they settled into their booth by the window, they placed their orders and waited for their coffees.

Her phone buzzed, and she read the screen. “I told Piers we’d have to skip whale watching, but he said it was canceled anyhow.”

“The whales are probably hanging out in their underwater caves, reading books and sipping hot cider.”

She laughed. “Oh, I don’t know about that. He says the orcas are pretty active, so I’m bummed to miss out on that. But the point is to get a sense of his personality, you know? How he handles pressure, how good he is at communicating. I can only get that from spending time with him.”

“Got it. Well, I’m just the driver, so whatever you need me to do, I’m down.”

“As long as we head back by noon, I’ll have plenty of time to get to the airport.”

The clock was ticking, and he wasn’t going to babble about travel plans anymore. “You said we’re not on the same page, and that’s something we have to talk about. If you tell me you don’t feel the same way I do, and you want me to leave you alone, I’ll do that. It will suck, but I’ll respect your wishes. But if there’s any hope for us, then I’m not giving up.”

She sighed in resignation. “Trevor, I’m not the same woman you left alone in that motel room. That woman was free to run wild with you. That woman loved and trusted with her whole heart. That woman… She’s gone. This woman sitting here with you today is different. You might not like her.”

Okay, wow. He hadn’t expected that answer. “I’ve met a lot of people in my life, and the truth is, I haven’t clicked with many of them. I just haven’t. I don’t know why. I can’t explain it, but with you, even after all this time, it’s real, and it’s powerful. And I don’t want to live without it.” He started to reach across the table for her hand, but he stopped himself. She doesn’t want it . “Do you feel anything even close to what I do?”

“Yes, of course I do. I think last night answered that.”

“But?”

“When we were twenty, you didn’t know what you wanted to do with your life. You didn’t want to farm. You weren’t interested in law or medicine. And now, you’re in the same position. Your career is over, and you don’t know what you want to do next. And I know you. You crave meaning. I don’t want to throw myself into this with you, only for you to walk away the moment you find your calling.”

Fuck it . He reached for her hand. “Sweetheart, you’re my calling. I wasn’t allowed to think or even act on it, but it’s always been my truth. And I don’t care how it sounds. I don’t care what anyone thinks. The only thing I’ve ever wanted is to be with you. I want us to buy a ranch in Calamity. I want us to?—”

“Here you go.” The server set their plates down in front of them.

“This looks great.” Elzy beamed a smile. “Thank you.”

“Can I get you anything else?” the server asked.

“No, this is perfect.” Elzy stirred the granola and fresh berries into her yogurt. “Mm. Good.” She dabbed her mouth with a napkin. “Did you ever try directing or producing?”

“Nah.” Really? She was going to ignore his confession? He’d never admitted that to anyone before. After spreading cream cheese on his dense, dark rye bread, he topped it with smoked salmon and pickled onions. “I’ve been offered lots of jobs over the years. My agent liked to talk about ‘stretching’ my acting skills. But I’m not interested in crying or delivering some emotional performance. The role of James Mackintosh was perfect for me because all I had to do was run onto the battlefield and?—”

“Make love to beautiful co-stars. Over thirteen films, you had children and wives die, you’ve had sex with countless women?—”

“None of it was real. You know that, right?”

“Of course. I’m just saying, I think you’re a better actor than you realized.”

“Elzy.” He broke into a slow grin. “Does that mean you watched my movies?”

With a sniff, she flicked invisible crumbs away from her bowl. “Who hasn’t?”

“Did you go by yourself?” he asked.

“Sometimes.”

He leaned across the table. “Did you touch yourself?”

She balled up her napkin and tossed it at him. “You’re disgusting.”

With a smug smile, he went back to eating. “I notice you didn’t answer the question.”

“No, Trevor. I didn’t pleasure myself in a movie theater.”

He tipped his head to the side. “So, you waited till you got home?”

“No. I hated you, remember?”

He handed her the napkin. “Sometimes, hate sex is the best. Do you remember when you were so mad at me you skipped school?—”

“And you hot-wired Jimmy Labrosky’s truck and drove to my house?”

He laughed. “I could see you running around locking doors and windows?—”

“And yet you still got in.” Grinning, she rolled her eyes. “Who climbs onto a roof?”

“The guy whose girlfriend accuses him unjustly of fucking around with another girl.”

“Uh, you were screwing around. I saw it with my own eyes.”

“You saw a man who didn’t want to be at a party. I went upstairs to be left alone.”

“It was a bedroom. And you went upstairs because you were having a tantrum. You wanted to leave, and I wanted to stay.”

“Between the farm, school, and the football team, I didn’t have enough time alone with you.”

“So, you decided to spend what time you did have with Precious Grace Olson?”

Even though it was the most ridiculous conversation in the world—rehashing something that happened when they were seventeen—he still loved it. Because she was smiling, and the shared history was stitching them back together.

“Since you need a refresher, I’ll remind you I was in there alone before she came in.”

“Right, and then you wound up cuddling in bed.”

“That’s not how you found us, and you know it. She was freaking out because Bill Oberlansky threw up on her shoes. She rinsed her legs off in the bathtub, and I got her a towel. I was only talking to her because she was crying. Period. I did nothing wrong, and you know that because you ‘saw it with your own eyes.’”

“And you’re telling me if you’d walked into a bedroom during a party and found me canoodling with Bill Oberlansky, you wouldn’t have been upset?”

“I would’ve knocked him out cold.”

“Okay, see?” She sounded triumphant. “You should not be alone in a bedroom with another girl.”

“Especially one as pretty as Precious Grace Olson?”

“Okay, now, you’re just winding me up. She was not that pretty.”

“She was the Wind River Queen two years in a row.”

“Well, then, you should’ve dated her.” She had that fire in her eyes that got him all stirred up.

“I never wanted her. I only ever wanted you. And did you forget that she smelled like Bill Oberlansky’s puke that night? There was no canoodling, I can promise you.”

“Well, that’s true. Okay, you win. But you still broke the attic window and chased me around my house in the middle of the school day.”

“The window was already broken. I just finished it off.” Which was why he’d wanted to earn enough money, so their families didn’t have to live like that anymore. “And it was hardly a chase.”

“Gee, sorry if I couldn’t outrun a six-three man with zero body fat.”

“Or maybe you wanted me to catch you so you could run your hands all over this zero-body fat chest of mine. Hey, Elz.” He started to unbutton his shirt. “Remember that six-pack you used to lick?”

She burst out laughing.

But the smile faded when a woman approached their table. She leaned over and said, “I know this is so bad, and I should leave you alone, but come on. You’re Trevor Montgomery. I’ve loved you longer than I’ve loved my husband. I know you’re not wearing your kilt, but can I get just one little selfie? I promise not to make a scene or draw attention to you.” She squeezed into the small booth beside him and handed her phone to Elzy. “Will you please take one?”

He hated the interruption, hated the way a fan turned Elzy into an outsider. This woman had popped the bubble of intimacy, and he didn’t like it. But the only alternative to taking the selfie would be to put Elzy in the picture, and if the media found it, they’d track her down and station themselves outside her house. So, he smiled, and the woman thanked him and quietly slipped away.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She seemed okay with it. “You’re a movie star. I’m sure it happens all the time.”

“It rarely happens in Calamity.” How did he get them back on track?

“But this is a good opportunity to get the inside scoop.” She leaned across the table and whispered, “Commando or boxers?”

“Sweetheart, the whole world wants the answer to that. You think I’m giving it up that easily?”

She laughed.

“Well, there you go. Looks like I just bought myself more time with you.” He motioned to get the server’s attention. It was time to hit the road where he could be alone with her.