When You Were Mine (Mistletoe and Silver Foxes #2)

Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Trevor answered Darby’s FaceTime call on his way back to his room.

“You won’t believe this.” She had her eye mask hitched up her forehead and her face clean of makeup.

“What?” He shouldn’t have answered. He was still reeling from the way Elzy looked at him on the pier, and he couldn’t give his friend the attention she deserved.

The way the moonlight made Elzy’s skin glow, the affection in her eyes… She’d looked so very beautiful. He’d walked her to the elevator bay, willing her to invite him to her room, but the doors parted, she’d walked inside, and that was that. She left.

“Emil and I were texting. And then, out of nowhere, he just stopped. So, I get ready for bed…I get in bed…and then, he texts me, ‘Let me in.’”

He pulled out his key card and pushed the door open. “He came to the hotel?”

“Yep. We just spent an hour talking.”

“Was it good?”

“Honestly, he came in hot.” She chuckled. “He was pissed that, even after he explained his situation, I never tried to get back with him. I just moved on. I told him why. That neither of us could compromise. That long distance to Iceland would never have worked, but that just got him even more pissed off.”

“Because you didn’t care enough to try. In his mind, if you’d stayed together, you might’ve found a way to be together.”

“That’s exactly what he said.”

That was how he’d felt about Elzy. She’d cut him off and never let him back in. He’d been pissed, hurt, and missing her for thirty damn years. “So, how’d it end?”

“We kissed.”

“Oh.” Propping his phone up against a pillow, he sat in a chair to untie his boots. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“I know. Neither was I. But he’s such a quiet, strong man, so when he blows up, it’s just really…explosive.”

“He hides his feelings, leaving you questioning whether he has them. And then, when he proves them, your ego gets the hit it needs.”

“Wait. Are you saying I only want him because I never know where I stand with him?” she asked.

“I don’t know. You tell me. Do you still like him? Do you like talking to him? Or is it just attraction?”

“I like being with him. I think he’s a really good man.” She paused. “And I can’t keep my hands off him.”

“So, why did he leave?”

“I don’t know. He said, ‘I’m taking you to breakfast. Be ready at seven.’ And then, he left. God, he’s so hot.”

“Sounds like there’s hope for you guys.”

He couldn’t get Elzy’s expression out of his mind. The longing mixed with confusion. Resistance. She clearly wanted to be with him, but she didn’t trust him.

And as much as he understood it, he wanted a second chance to prove himself.

“Maybe. I’ll see him at breakfast.” Darby fell onto her back, flopping her arms dramatically. “And maybe this time, I’ll be open to compromise.”

“Sounds good.” He stood up and unbuckled his pants. While his body was on this call with Darby, his spirit was on the pier, watching the aurora borealis beside Elzy. She hadn’t grabbed a coat before coming downstairs, so she was freezing. She’d tipped her head, that long, thick hair spilling down her back, and took in the light show.

He’d wrapped an arm around her, and when she’d huddled up against him, he’d taken it as a green light to step behind her and encircle her in his arms. He could’ve stood like that forever.

Anything was better than going back to his room. Without her.

Now that he’d found her, he couldn’t stand being apart.

“Well, I should let you go.” She sat up. “Wait a minute. What’s all that stuff you bought?”

He glanced at the heavy bags on the floor. “I got some souvenirs for the grandkids.” Well, the majority was for Elzy, but she didn’t need to know that. Now, he had to figure out how to get it to her. She didn’t need all this extra shit in her suitcase. He’d ask the concierge to ship it. “I’m going to shower.”

“Okay. So, I’ll see you here tomorrow for the wine tasting?”

I’ll be wherever Elzy is. “I assume that’s the plan. I’ll text her in the morning.”

“She’s dodgy, that one. If she can find another way to get back here, I wouldn’t put it past her to do it.”

“Then, I’ll sleep outside her door. She’ll have to step over me to get away.”

Darby laughed. “She doesn’t know how lucky she is to have you. See you tomorrow.” She disconnected.

After turning on the shower, he stripped off the rest of his clothes. Closing his eyes, he let the hot water sink into his cold skin.

Images flashed in his mind. Elzy’s delight when she looked at the puffin mugs. Later at dinner, the way her eyelids had fluttered shut when she’d tasted the cinnamon whipped cream on her apple tart.

And the heat in her eyes when she’d leaned in to kiss him. Holy shit, that had turned him on. He’d wanted to drag her into the club’s bathroom and fuck her senseless.

He had to win her back. Had to. The ache, the need, the drive…it was out of control.

Fuck.

He slammed the faucet shut and got out of the stall.

He wasn’t joking about sleeping outside her door. He’d do it.

Because Darby was right. Elzy would absolutely sneak away. Maybe she was doing it right now. Talking to the concierge about hiring a driver. Renting a car.

Fuck. He had to get to her. Stay close. He couldn’t let her go.

Please, Elzy, forgive me.

Put me out of my fucking misery.

You think I haven’t learned my lesson? For Christ’s sake, I spent thirty years without you. I will never hurt you again.

But he couldn’t sleep outside her door. Right? No, of course not. He had to wait till morning. He’d text her.

Fuck that. She’s leaving the day after tomorrow . He pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket and called her.

Droplets of water sluiced off his skin and puddled around his feet. Snatching a towel, he rubbed it over his body. With shaking hands, he watched the screen. She wasn’t picking up.

Maybe she’d gone to sleep.

The front desk wouldn’t give him her room number—and he’d sue the crap out of them if they did—so all he could do was wait till the morning.

The call ended.

Shit. Fuck. What could he do?

Nothing. If she doesn’t want to see you, there’s nothing you can do.

A moment later, she texted.

Elzy: What’s up?

Trevor: Can we talk?

Elzy: About what? I’m about to go to sleep.

Sleep was the furthest thing from his mind. He’d had her in his arms again. He’d gotten to kiss the mouth that had brought him indescribable pleasure. Having her so close but still out of reach was driving him out of his mind.

She’d felt the electricity between them too. He knew she did. Those sounds she’d made, the way she’d pressed up against him, trying to get closer. Yeah, she’d felt it, too.

Trevor: I miss you.

Three dots danced across the screen. Then, stopped. Danced again, then stopped.

She thinks I’m engaged . Of course she’s not going to talk to me.

He had a choice to make. He could keep up the ruse to stay in Iceland with her. Or…

Or he could get real with her.

Because he was done fucking around.

Trevor: Darby and I aren’t engaged.

His phone rang, and he answered immediately.

Before he could speak, she said, “What are you talking about? When did you break up?”

“I knew I wouldn’t marry her the moment I laid eyes on you. I told her I couldn’t do it.”

“You ended your engagement because you ran into me in Iceland? What kind of love is that?”

“It was never about love. Not for either of us. It was two people who settled for companionship. But that ended the moment I saw you. My God, Elzy, I will never settle for anything less than what we had.”

“Trevor, we’re not…we’re just talking. There’s nothing here.”

“Bullshit. It’s all still here. All of it. And even if you don’t want to give me another chance?—”

“Another chance? Do you hear yourself?”

“To be honest, my heart’s banging like a drum, so I can’t hear much of anything.” He stuttered out a laugh, but just this…talking to her…having her on the other end of the line…helped. “Can I come to your room?”

“No, you can’t come to my room.” Her voice rose to near hysteria. “What good will that do?”

“You know exactly what it’ll do. And I know you feel it too, or I wouldn’t be asking you to cheat on your fiancé. I saw it in your eyes, and I felt it in your kiss. You don’t want him how a woman wants the man she’s marrying.”

She went quiet. Was she considering it?

And then, she said, quietly, “I’m not engaged anymore. I broke up with him.”

“When?” he demanded.

“Tonight. As soon as I got back to the room.”

Holy shit. Fuck, yes. “Because of me?”

“Of course, it’s not because of you. How big is your ego?”

“It’s not about my ego. Elzy, come on. It’s us. We can have us again. Don’t you want this?”

She let out a huff of breath. “I don’t know what I want. God, you just…You make my head spin. Look, I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t think we’re on the same page. Chemistry isn’t connected to trust, so it doesn’t mean anything.”

Elation jacked him up. Gave him wings. “It means everything.” Because she didn’t say no. And because chemistry was enough for now. It would bond them together long enough for him to earn her trust.

And he would.

He would absolutely earn her trust.

“Trevor, I don’t know what you want from me.”

“I want your forgiveness. I think I saw it in your eyes tonight. Am I wrong?”

“No, you’re not wrong. I do forgive you. And I even forgive myself for the way I handled things. But that’s all we needed to do. Forgive ourselves. Maybe?—”

“There’s not an ounce of maybe in my body. Elzy, let me come up and see you. Please .”

“I think we should just sleep on it. See how we feel in the morning.”

“Fuck that. We’ve lost enough time, and I’m done waiting. I’m done living my life without you.” He knew he was coming on too strong, but she needed to hear it. “From the moment I walked away from you, I’ve been lost. No matter how much success I’ve had or how many people I’ve met along the way, without you I’m just so fucking alone. Do you understand me? I am wandering this earth alone.”

“Yes, I understand you.”

“Elzy, I need you to take me back. I made a terrible mistake, I fucked up, but please let me come home .”

In the silence following his plea, blood roared in his ears, and his heart pounded.

Had he come on too strong? Had he lost his chance with her?

Even through the fear blazing through him, his gut told him he’d done the right thing. He’d laid his heart in her hands.

From this point on, it was up to her.

Come on, Elz.

Take me back.

But still, nothing but silence. Incredibly, it gave him hope because she hadn’t said no. She hadn’t told him to fuck off.

So, he waited.

Until, finally, she spoke. “Room twenty-two-twelve.”

What have you done?

Elzy hurried into the bathroom, but she didn’t know why. She didn’t have time to shower. Shave. Put on makeup.

Why would I put on makeup?

She turned back around, wondering if she should clean up the room. After tossing her boots into the closet, she stuffed her scarf and hat into a drawer.

This is ridiculous. You’re not having a dinner party.

Just calm down.

She looked down at her flannel pajamas and ratty old slippers. She didn’t know why she’d taken them into the city with her. She hadn’t planned on spending the night. Habit, maybe? She was so used to peeling off her work clothes and getting comfortable that she’d just shoved them into her giant tote.

But really, when had she become so frumpy?

Am I frumpy? She glanced at the mirror over the dresser. I don’t feel frumpy.

How could anyone feel dull when Trevor Montgomery touched her like she was the sexiest woman in the entire world? And that was it, wasn’t it? Trevor saw her . Not her oversized pajamas. Not what car she drove or how many decorative pillows she had on her couch. He didn’t notice her lipstick. He just wanted her .

He wanted to consume her. All of her.

No wonder she’d never loved anyone else. No one wanted her the way he did.

But is this real? Or is he just carried away in the moment?

They were different people now. She was so afraid of diving in, only to discover they had nothing more in common than a shared childhood in Riverton.

First love was so powerful.

But it was too late. Because a knock on the door was accompanied by a commanding, deeply masculine voice. “Elzy?”

Her body jolted as if she’d heard a car backfiring.

“Elz?”

Oh, dammit. She stared at the door . War raged inside her mind. As badly as she wanted him, she was also scared to death.

No, that’s not true. This isn’t fear.

It’s excitement.

And that was terrifying. Because they’d have sex, and then, what would happen when she woke up in the morning? She couldn’t go back to that Vegas motel room and watch him walk away. She couldn’t be devastated all over again.

No, no. You were blindsided. That’s why it hurt so much.

This time, you know what’s going to happen. You’re going to have one night of passion. And then, you’ll be free of him. For good.

“Elzy, dammit. Open up.”

Could she though? It was easier said than done.

Because the moment she let him in, she’d be in for it. There’d be no holding him back. No holding me back.

She was starved for him. Desperate.

And that was all she really needed to know. For just one night, she needed to be loved by him.

She flipped the security lock, lowered the handle, and then…

He burst into the room, crowded her against the wall, tipped her chin with his big hand, and kissed her.

This man wasted no time licking into her mouth and claiming her.

And it was just so overwhelming. It was pure relief to let go, to submit to desire?—

To stop being in control of everything.

His hands cupped her face, as his tongue coaxed hers into play, and his muscular body caged her in against the wall. His dizzying kisses short-circuited her mind and blew out her grid, and when he shoved a thigh between her legs, the friction ignited her desire.

She scraped her fingernails across his scalp and hitched a leg up to his hip. She needed to feel him everywhere. He knew that. Of course he did. No one read her like this man. He dragged his hands down her body, over her breasts, around her rib cage, until he clutched her ass and lifted her.

As he carried her to the bed, he never pulled his mouth away, never let up his wordless plea to forgive him, want him, love him. He held her tightly as he put a knee on the mattress and walked her up to the pillows.

He set her down like a treasure, like a feast, and then, pulled back to take her in.

The adoration in his eyes sank deep, restoring her, healing her. At the same time, it kicked up a pulse between her legs that demanded relief. She held her arms out for him, and he grabbed her hands, kissing each palm in turn.

“I’ve imagined this moment every night for thirty years,” he said. “And I can’t believe I’m living it. I can’t believe I found you again and that you want me as much as I want you.”

Of course I do. The longing never went away. I just got really good at masking it. But she swallowed the words. She could tell herself it was because she needed his body on top of hers, that she needed his touch, but deep down, she knew why.

Because they weren’t on the same page, and she needed to tell him the truth. “We’re not back together. I need you to understand that.”

A flash of pain ravaged his features, and he went very still.

“This is just one night. I need to know you’re okay with that.” When he didn’t answer, her body rioted. It was crying out to be touched by him, but she couldn’t hurt him. “Trevor, I think you broke us.”

“I know . But will you give me a chance to heal us?”

“I don’t think we can be fixed.” Emotion choked her. Heat flamed up her neck. “I’m sorry, Trevor. I’m sorry for shutting you out. I’m sorry…” And then, out of nowhere, she was crying. “ I broke us too.” She remembered dropping to a crouch behind the counter when he entered the feedstore. Pressing herself behind the dumpster. She could still feel the cold metal and smell the rotting garbage. “You came back for me, but I was so stupid. I wish so badly things had turned out differently.”

“Sweetheart…” He kissed her tears. “Baby.” He kissed each cheek, the tip of her nose, her chin. “We were young.” His thumb swiped a tear. “But we’re here now. Don’t you see? We found our way back to each other. Elzy, baby, we get a second chance to make it right. Let’s do that, okay? Let’s make it right.”

A surge of happiness, gratitude, and affection came rushing in, and all she could do was nod. He kissed her gently this time, his hand cupping her neck in a light but possessive grip. Heat flared, and she arched her back.

“My Elzy.” His mouth made a slow path down her neck. “My beautiful, sexy, wild Calamity Jane.”

“I’m not that girl anymore.”

“I think, with me, maybe you can be.”

And that was when she decided to find out. Because when things broke, they healed stronger. And really, what other choice did she have?

She knew their chemistry was more than lust. It was more than the residual feelings of a first love.

She might’ve changed, grown, matured, but in the heart of her, she was the same girl. She’d just swaddled herself in layers of armor to protect herself from getting hurt again. And she hadn’t. But guess what? She hadn’t loved again either. She hadn’t experienced any highs, other than the birth of a niece or nephew, the achievement of scoring an impressive consulting job, or winning a permit from the town.

Those were all good, but they weren’t soul-satisfying.

And maybe being with Trevor would heal her. Make her whole again.

As he pressed a trail of kisses along her collarbone, she unbuttoned her flannel top. He spread it open, unwrapping his gift, his warm hands gliding up her stomach and gently covering her breasts. “Take off your granny pants.”

Laughing, she lifted her hips and slid them down. “They’re cute. My entire family has them. We wear them on Christmas Day.”

“If we were together, you wouldn’t wear anything on Christmas Day. Or any other day. I’d keep you naked.” His hands caressed her body, and he kissed a fiery trail down her torso until he reached the cove between her legs. His broad shoulders spread her wider, his hands slid under her bottom, and he raised her to his mouth.

And then, his tongue seared a path through her folds. Pleasure spread hot and electric through her body, and she released a sigh of pure contentment.

He reached for her breasts—because he knew how sensitive her nipples were, he remembered , and he’d always, always put her first. As delicious tension spiked, she cupped his head, pulling him closer, her hands fisting in his hair.

He devoured her, and she loved it.

Her legs wrapped around his waist, her hips rocked, and desire streamed hot and urgent until she was crying out. Drenched in pleasure, she closed her eyes and planted her feet on either side of him. Her bottom lifted off the mattress, her neck arched, and she wasn’t sure how much more tension she could take. It was too good, the bliss so potent, so wild, it pushed her beyond anything she’d ever experienced.

This passionate, lusty man never let up. His tongue circled her clit, his fingers pinched her nipple, while his other hand gripped her ass. All of it coalesced into an explosion that shot her right out of her body and sent her soaring into a universe glittering with stars and drenched in euphoria.

One climax after another kept her floating, spinning, and deliriously joyful.

She came down slowly, her ass landing softly on the bed. Trevor kissed each inner thigh, then reared over her, grinning proudly.

“Settle down, Casanova,” she teased. But with her soft and unguarded, tenderness washed over her. And she cupped his cheek. “We were so good together.”

“We are still good together. There will never be anyone else. Tell me you understand that. It’s you and me, Elz. I don’t know how the world works. I don’t understand the metaphysics of how we’re connected or why. I only know you’re part of me. The best part.” He kissed her with a passion that left her mindless. His hand skimmed down her neck and caressed her breast. The rasp of his palm over her nipple had her squirming, a new tension building.

He shifted back and covered her breast with his hot, wet mouth. When his tongue flicked over her sensitive peak, her hips pitched up hard.

Rising over her again, he said, “I don’t have a condom.” He watched her intently, questioningly.

Delirious with need, she found it hard to think. She only knew the problem wasn’t on her end. “I’m on the pill.”

His features tightened with anticipation. “I use protection. Every time. Since Cole…”

She nodded. She got it. He didn’t want another surprise baby.

“You’re good?” he asked. “I can?—”

“I’m so good I can hardly stand it.” She grasped his cock and brought him to her.

“Thank fuck.” He watched as he eased inside her. His eyelids fluttered closed, and he shuddered. “You feel so good.”

He filled her so completely she went mindless with lust. The friction aroused every cell, making them vibrate with pleasure.

Slowly, he pulled out and then thrust back in. “You feel this, Elz? Nothing like it in the whole world.”

“I feel it.” She ran her fingers over the strained muscles in his arms. “Don’t hold back. Give me all of you, Trevor. Give me everything I’ve missed.”

Her request unleashed him. He slammed in hard and didn’t waste a moment before giving her exactly what she wanted. “You’re so fucking tight. So hot.”

With each thrust, his hips punched, and he drove her up the mattress. His lust for her was thrilling, empowering.

“Hold on to the headboard.” Beads of perspiration formed over his lip and dotted his hairline. “You make me feral. Fuck .”

Her skin was on fire, and his powerful thrusts made her burn. Her palms flattened on the cool wood, her ankles latched around his hips, and she lost herself completely in Trevor Montgomery’s passion for her.

And then, he tucked his face into her neck, driving into her. Slam . “I’m going to come.” Slam. Slam . “I’m gonna come so fucking hard.” He thrust harder, faster, in short, tight punches. His features flushed a deep red, the tendons in his neck corded, and then, he shouted, “Elzy.”

In a frenzy of need, he pumped, hips twisting as if trying to embed himself as deeply as possible, and when, finally, he slowed, he lowered himself on top of her, shifting to her side. He pressed kisses all over her face, his hand scraping her hair off her damp forehead. “My Elzy. I promise to make it good for you, but right now, I have to sleep.” He wrapped an arm across her and snugged her up to him as tightly as possible. “Haven’t slept since I saw you walk into that dining room. God, you’re beautiful.” His eyes closed and his voice slurred with exhaustion. “Promise this isn’t a dream?”

“Oh, it’s very real.”

“You won’t leave me, right?” he asked.

Before she could answer, he let go, his muscles relaxed, and he succumbed to sleep.

Which was for the best.

Because her answer would upset him.

Yes, their connection still sizzled and crackled. Yes, the emotions were all there.

And, yes, she believed he meant everything he said.

But she wasn’t ready to give him what he wanted.

Not after two days together.

And maybe not ever.

But that wasn’t the point. Tonight was about forgiveness—for both of them.

Seeing him again, grappling with their issues, had freed her.

It showed her she didn’t want to be alone anymore. But she also didn’t want to settle for companionship. What she had with Joel wasn’t enough.

If nothing else, the last two days had shown her that.

So, this is good. Her hand settled on top of his where it clung to her hip.

Yes, it’s all good. When I go back home, I’ll be healthier. More open to a true relationship.

And Trevor…

Anxiety blasted through her at the idea of losing him again.

Well, she wouldn’t think about a future that might never happen.

All she had was this moment.