Where the Heart Is

Chapter 51

CHAPTER

51

‘Stop making such a racket.’ Alli groaned as she stumbled into the kitchen, pressing her fingers to her temples. ‘You’re worse than the kids.’

‘Someone’s hungover,’ Sawyer said, stifling a laugh at his sister’s bedraggled appearance: lopsided ponytail, mascara smudged under her eyes, and her complexion a sickly grey. ‘I made the kids pancakes this morning but can whip you up a greasy lunch?’

She moaned and clutched her stomach. ‘What time is it?’

‘Almost one.’

‘Fuck,’ she muttered, peering bleary-eyed at her watch. ‘I haven’t slept this late since I drank an entire bottle of wine on graduation night.’

‘Mick seemed fine when he left this morning.’

‘That’s because he was the designated driver for once and he foolishly let me consume one too many champers. Remind me to kill him.’

‘Take it easy on the guy. He has to live with you.’

Alli flipped him the middle finger. ‘If you make me a strong coffee, I’ll let you stay another night.’ Her expression cleared a little. ‘Why are you crashing here anyway? What happened with Mila?’

‘Don’t ask,’ he said, turning his back on his sister to make her coffee. The last thing he felt like doing was rehashing last night and how gutted he’d been by Mila’s assessment of him.

How had he got it so wrong with her?

‘What did you do?’ Alli slumped into a chair at the dining table, her pallor improving when he placed a cup of coffee in front of her and she inhaled. ‘Lovers’ tiff?’

He almost responded with, ‘I didn’t do anything’ , but that wasn’t entirely true. He should’ve told her he’d bailed her out from the beginning, rather than listen to Will. Though he shouldn’t blame his best mate either. Sawyer was a big boy and he’d known what withholding the truth from Mila would do when he eventually came clean.

‘I helped her out when she didn’t want me to by buying some of her land, and I didn’t tell her.’

‘You idiot.’ Alli gulped at her coffee as if it were iced. It must’ve worked because the bleariness in her eyes cleared. ‘What are you going to do to make it up to her?’

Nothing, because he never wanted to feel as worthless as she’d made him feel last night ever again.

‘We’ll sort things out,’ he said. ‘We have to, considering I own some of Hills Homestead, though I’ll probably take my time looking for another buyer this time and sell for the right price.’

‘At the risk of repeating myself, you’re an idiot.’ She pointed at his face. ‘Any fool can see you’re in love with her.’

‘Even if I am, what’s the point? She can’t ever leave Ashe Ridge and I live in Melbourne.’

‘Ever heard of long-distance?’

‘Ever heard of butting the hell out?’

She laughed, instantly regretting it as she pressed her fingertips to her temples again. ‘In every relationship, someone always makes more of a sacrifice. It’s what couples do if they want to make a go of it. In your case, if she can never leave the farm, you’ll need to rethink where you live.’ Her expression softened. ‘Would it be so hard for you to move back here?’

If Alli had asked him that question any other time, he would’ve said hell yes. He’d never consider moving back to this town, a place that held nothing but bad memories for him.

Except the memories he’d made with Mila back then. And now … He’d convinced himself that walking away from her was inevitable. They had no future. How could they? He had to move around. His ADHD meant he couldn’t stay in one place too long. He may call Melbourne home, but he could count the weeks he spent in his house in Hawthorn on one hand. Being on the road suited him. Land broking was the perfect job.

What would happen if he gave it all up to stay in one place for longer than a month or two?

Would he grow to resent her? Would he be physically and mentally incapable of staying put? Would he run again, but this time leaving her heartbroken?

‘I can see you’ve got a lot to think about,’ Alli said, draining her coffee. ‘For what it’s worth, you can stay here as long as you like, because we love having you around, but I think you should sort out your shit with Mila.’

She stood and moved around the table to press a kiss to the top of his head. ‘You’re smart, little brother. I’m sure you’ll do the right thing, for both of you.’

Sawyer was glad one of them had confidence, because he couldn’t shake the terror that this life-changing decision could make or break him.