2. Gray
2
GRAY
After the fifth woman claimed to be Dawson’s girlfriend, I got Ellie out of there. I put her in the rental car with me and drove down to the lake. We both got out without a word, walked to the picnic tables, and sat down. “You okay?”
She nods, looking out at the water. “Yeah, I’m fine. I mean, I should have known. There were clues. In his defense, we never talked about being exclusive, I guess I just assumed we were.”
I go and sit next to her. “How have you been feeling?” Dawson had told me about the baby. He was freaked out and point-blank said he didn’t want it. It makes me wonder if he told Ellie that or not.
She looks at me with wide eyes. “He told you about the baby, didn’t he?”
I blow out a breath. “He did.”
She nods her head and looks away from me. “He wasn’t happy about it, was he? I mean, he didn’t seem excited, but I thought he was just nervous. But now, well now, I think he...” She stops suddenly and shakes her head.
I touch her shoulder. “It doesn’t matter, Ellie. You’re happy, right?”
She nods, and the smile that comes over her face transforms it. “Yeah, I’m happy. I mean, I probably shouldn’t be. I’m a broke college student, my parents are going to lose it when they find out, I’ll have to figure out school and work, and I don’t have any health insurance, but yeah, I’m happy about it.”
My thoughts start to whirl, and I hate she’s doing all this on her own. I know I want to help her, but I live in Tennessee, not in Texas. I could ask her to come with me, but there’s no way she’s going to uproot her life with someone she barely knows. I almost smack my hand on my head. I’m thinking crazy. She’s not mine, and I have no rights to her. “What can I do to help?”
She laughs. “Nothing. There’s nothing anyone can do. It... it’s just me now.”
I barely refrain from telling her that it was going to be just her anyway. I knew Dawson well enough to know that he wasn’t the best at taking responsibility. I don’t want to think it, but I know it’s true. I’m sure Dawson still would have walked away from Ellie, even knowing she was pregnant with his son.
I sigh, and before I can talk myself out of it, I tell her. “Okay, hear me out...”
She uses her sleeve to wipe at her eyes. Her eyes are filled with worry and unshed tears, and my heart starts to race. “Look, I know it’s going to be hard, but I think I know something that can help you and make it a little easier.”
She blinks, and a tear rolls down her cheek. Fuck me. I can handle anything except her crying right now. I turn and use my thumb to wipe the tear off. She shakes her head. “Gah, I’m sorry, Gray. He was your best friend, and I’m here falling apart on you.”
“Please don’t apologize to me.”
She takes a deep breath and then another one. “Okay. I’m fine. Enough about me, let’s talk about—”
But I cut her off before she can get it all out. “No, let’s talk about my idea.”
I say it more forcefully than I probably should and try to soften it with a smile. She nods. “Sure, go ahead.”
I blurt it out. “I think we should get married.”
She’s surprised, to say the least. Her eyes widen, and she’s staring at me as if I’ve grown another head or something. “Wait, I’m sorry, did you just say you think we should get married?”
I nod. “Yeah. It could help with a few things actually, but most importantly, insurance. You wouldn’t have to worry about you and the baby having health care.”
She gets off the picnic table and strolls to the water. She’s looking away from me, but I don’t stop. “I have good benefits. Plus, it will be easier when you tell your parents that you’re married, right?”
I know I’m grasping at straws. I don’t know why I feel this is so important, but now that I’ve said it, I know it’s the right thing to do.
She finally looks at me with her arms crossed over her chest. “You don’t even know me.”
Instead of telling her everything I’ve learned about her in the few times we’ve been around each other, I shrug my shoulders. “I know enough.”
She tilts her head to the side. “What about your girlfriend?” She holds her hand up. “And before you say you don’t have a girlfriend, I’m sure you do.”
I shake my head because it sucks to think about what kind of men she’s around to be saying that. “Look, if I had a girlfriend, I definitely wouldn’t be proposing marriage to another woman. There’s no woman in my life... there’s no one.”
Her face is filled with pity. I know I said too much, but it’s true. I have no one.
“You live in Tennessee, I live in Texas.”
I shake my head. “Geography doesn’t matter. We can get married and then figure out the rest. We have time. You’ll finish with school right before the baby arrives. I can help you when you want to take time off work.”
She paces back and forth, and all I can do is stand here and watch her. I’m hoping she says yes. I don’t want to think about why it’s so important to me, but it is.
When she stops and shakes her head, I already know she’s going to say no. I shouldn’t push her right now, but I can’t keep my mouth shut. “Ellie, listen to me. Let me do this for you. I want to help, and this is the only way I know how.”
Her cheeks are flushed. “I’m sure I can get on assistance or something, Gray. You don’t have to do this.”
I take a step forward and put my hands on her shoulders. “You could, but it would probably take a while. Just let me do this, Ellie. I want to.”
I don’t know why I’m pushing so hard. I’m telling myself that it’s because Dawson would want me to make sure his child is okay, but I know it’s more than that.
She finally agrees. “Okay, if you’re sure. I don’t want to get you in trouble or anything with your boss. I mean, you work for a motorcycle gang. Are they going to be mad you’re doing this?”
I guess she deserves to know the truth. “The club I work for does mercenary work, Ellie. We work with an elite team of mercenaries, and even though I left the military, I still serve my country.”
She looks confused, but she doesn’t ask me any more about it. “Okay, so what now?”
She looks so overwhelmed, and helping her is the only thing that’s keeping the guilt I have at bay right now. I should have tried harder to get Dawson to leave when I did, and maybe he’d be alive right now. I pull Ellie into my arms and hug her tightly. She leans into me, resting her head on my chest. “I’ll stay in town a few days. We’ll get married, and I’ll get you added to my insurance. I have a mission in a few days, but we can get everything taken care of before then.”
She mutters okay, and we stand here in each other’s arms, lost in thought. I don’t even question if I’m doing the right thing because right now, with Ellie in my arms, there’s no way it can be wrong.