Who Said Witness Protection Was Boring? (Mobster Mayhem #2)

13. Kieran

13

Kieran

I get everything for tomorrow sorted out by midnight. Matt cooked Japanese curry with rice for dinner and we ate in silence while working on our consecutive parts. He went to bed about thirty minutes ago. Not in his room, though. Nah, that would be too boring. He passed out on the obnoxious zebra couch with one arm and leg hanging off the seat.

Downing the rest of my chamomile tea, I slide my arms forward on the breakfast counter and place my head on my left elbow. I envy him. I wish I could go to bed and fall asleep like he does. The lights are still on, the TV is making noise. He hasn’t even tucked himself under a blanket…

I retrieve the small orange bottle with the white cap that I always carry on me. It must be nice not needing sleeping pills to actually sleep.

I don’t blame that on him, of course. Neither do I wish he had my condition. Not being able to sleep sucks. I have my ritual back home, so most of the time I get by without the pills and their nasty side-effects. But since I took on this protection job, I’ve barely caught more than an hour or two of REM-sleep a day. In a way that’s a good thing, I guess—I’m at my limit which means my body will simply force me to rest. I just don’t think it will be tonight; I’m too wired up because of tomorrow. So maybe it will be the day after.

A cigarette later, I’m still observing Matt. He mumbles something about motorbikes and being badass, then curls into a ball, hugging himself. I think he might be cold. With a soft sigh at myself, I put the pills away and approach the couch. There is a blanket I could toss over his small form, but as I examine the yoga-like position he’s in, I decide it’s better to carry him to his bed. Back pain when you have a busy day is a bitch to deal with.

Carefully, I lift his warm body in a princess hold. A thrill of delight slides down my spine. He’s so compact and light, fitting so perfectly in my arms. I hold him closer and head upstairs. He smells like that shampoo again, though there is a hint of his own scent mixed in as well. It tickles my nose and I give in to the urge to breathe him in. He mutters something and shifts in my arms, throwing one of his around my neck.

I’ve had some time to think about our kiss. I’m still not entirely sure what conclusions to draw from the fact that I not only initiated it, but enjoyed it, but one thing I know for a fact is that I don’t regret it one bit. Does that make me gay? I think back to the women I’ve been with. Heat stirs in my gut. I had a good time with them. I replay the kiss with Matt, the feel of his erection pressing into my leg. The fire within me intensifies, conquering more of me.

I guess I could be bi. Or pan. Does it even matter? I like what I like. Yeah, I suppose I’ll leave it at that and just see where this newly realized attraction to men takes me.

I kick open the door to the room Matt has been using and carry him to the bed. I put him down slowly so I don’t wake him, then take off his slippers. He’s wearing his indoor clothes. I survey the tracksuit top and bottom that are a couple sizes too big on him. It’s my stuff that I lent him the first day and he seems to have taken a liking to it.

Swallowing hard, I lean in and loosen the knot he’s tied with the pants’ drawstring so that he’s more comfortable. I have to lift the hoodie so I can see what I’m doing. Sliding the fabric up, I realize he’s not wearing anything under it. A strip of his beige skin reveals itself to me. I gulp around the lump in my throat again, my hand pushing the fabric even higher without any input from my brain.

His stomach, the curve of his hipbones, the hint of a V forming… They all look so goddamn delicious I can’t help myself but touch him. The drag of my fingers across his heated skin is fucking heaven. Maybe I should fight how good it feels, and how wrong it is of me to take advantage of him like this. Maybe I should question my newfound interest in another man some more. But I can’t. It’s just so right out of nowhere, like a missing piece of me clicking in its place.

“Whoa there, Agent McStalker . Just what do you think you are doing to this defenseless, sexy as fuck, super attractive, and definitely-not-pretending to be asleep man?”

I lift my eyes from his lovely bare stomach and meet his gaze. It’s smiling, just like his mouth. It dances with open amusement and lingering sleep, dark and green like the ocean from my childhood memories. I wish I could look away before I end up drowning in his eyes, but it’s impossible. They are just so enchanting, so hard not to surrender to, bringing me down to my knees until I am at their absolute mercy without putting up even an ounce of fight.

“Um, why are you looking at me like this? I was joking. About the Agent McStalker thing. I was totally getting off on you examining what’s under my clothes. In fact, do continue, please. You are yet to check my pants. I might have a surprise waiting for you there.”

He’s ridiculous. In the most inexplicably adorable way. I don’t even know why I find it so cute and funny, but I do. It just started somewhere along the way as this hurricane of a man blasted into my life and turned it upside down. I would get angry if I wasn’t enjoying the shit out of this ride he’s taken me on.

I study his smiling face. I bet he’d have a field day if I told him. So I’ll keep that to myself for now.

“You fell asleep on the couch. Didn’t think you’d enjoy being sore in the morning, so I moved you to your bed.” I untie the knot and pull the hoodie back down.

“Oh. Okay. And here I thought you’d finally decided it’s futile to try to resist my charm.”

God, I wanna gobble him up. But we also have a long day ahead of us. Especially him. He needs his rest.

With more regret than I’d confess to, I throw the blanket over him and stand. “Good night, Smarty Pants. I’ll see you in the morning.”

His eyes narrow, then widen a little as he pouts at me. It takes me a great deal of self-control to resist his kicked puppy look, but in order to do it, I allow myself to touch him one more time. It’s to recharge me, to keep me going through the night.

“I’ll be downstairs, don’t worry. I’ll keep you safe,” I promise, caressing his cheek. Then I force myself to let go.

But before I’ve taken even a step, he grabs my wrist and pulls. “Wait.”

I should ignore him, or I’ll be stuck here until the morning. But I can’t, not when his request sounded more like a plea.

Clenching my free hand into a fist, I turn around. His eyes roam me as if looking for something. There is an edge to them that’s new, a shiver-inducing intensity that makes me feel like an open book.

“When was the last time you slept? Like, actually slept, for more than an hour?”

His question shakes me to my very core. “ What ?”

He purses his lips. “When was the last time you had a good night’s sleep, Kieran?”

A bolt of panic spears through me. “I… Where’s that coming from?”

He sits up, leaning against the pillows, and crosses his arms. With the deep blue sheets surrounding him, he looks like some royalty. “You think I haven’t noticed? I thought you were just addicted to caffeine and energy drinks at first, but I woke up thirsty last night. You were sitting in the lounge with your laptop at three a.m. I found you exactly that way when I got up in the morning. And…” He points his nose at me. “I saw the pills.”

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

He squeezes harder. “Um, no. You said it yourself. We have a long day ahead of us. You need sleep.”

“I’ll manage.”

“Not good enough.”

I blow air out of my nose. “Excuse me?”

“I said not good enough. You’ll manage tomorrow. Fine. What about the day after? Do you even take your pills?” he demands fiercely.

Something tells me that he won’t drop the subject until he gets a satisfying answer. But I don’t like talking about it. It’s my problem, not his. “What do you care anyway?”

A storm crosses his pretty features. “Are you serious? What do I care? We are in this together. Or did you forget? You are supposed to have my back, and I’m supposed to have yours.”

My heart skips, jumps, spins, does a somersault. “I thought you didn’t trust me,” I argue because I’m not ready to talk about my issues just yet.

His frown deepens. Along with the annoyance, there is a hint of hurt in his imploring gaze. I hate seeing it there. “That was before we went behind the CIA’s back. You stand to lose as much as me now.”

“I could be playing you.”

“Nice try, but no. If you were, Bucks or Kelly would be knocking on the door by now because you already got everything the Agency needs in order to find the asset.” Some of the frustration leaves his expression, concern replacing it. “Look. I want to help in some way, okay? But I won’t know if I can unless you tell me what’s wrong. You… don’t have to share everything, but please, just give me something? Don’t shut me out. Especially after kissing me like that.”

“Like what?”

He blinks at me, his eyes going wide. Then he clears his throat while fiddling with the blanket’s hem. “Like you actually wanted to. Like it meant something.” He flushes. His entire face, his neck. I bet even his chest is tinged in red now. “Unless I misunderstood…”

I can’t win against him, I simply can’t. This tiny but all-consuming spitfire. “I wanted to kiss you.”

His eyes shimmer like the stars on a clear night. “You did?”

“You think I’d have shoved my tongue inside your mouth if I didn’t, babycakes? Now, don’t be silly.”

He’s speechless. Maybe it’s because I woke him up and he’s still groggy. Maybe he’s genuinely surprised. At any rate, all he manages after a minute of us awkwardly staring at each other is to glare at me and demand, “But why?”

Ah, is he really that clueless? “I thought it was your master plan to seduce me. Well”—I ruffle his silky hickory-colored hair—“I’m telling you that you did. I’ve been thinking about that kiss non-stop.”

He mouths an ‘ Oh’ then narrows his eyebrows at me. “But you didn’t say anything. Or do anything…”

“This is kinda new for me. I’m still processing. I don’t—I’ve not been attracted to a guy before.”

He bobs his head up and down. “Okay… Okay. Yeah, we totally don’t have to rush anything. I’m super patient. But I’m also irresistible. You’ll be begging me to bang in no time.”

I bark out a laugh. “The things you say…”

“What? Need I remind you that you are the one who was squeezing my ass in Lena’s apartment after kissing me in the middle of our breaking and entering?”

He’s not wrong about that. “And we can talk about that all you want tomorrow. Now go to bed.”

I attempt to slip free, but he tightens his hold. “Nuh-uh. Nice try. Confessing your undying love for me was sweet and all, but you ain’t getting out of this.” The overplayed scowl he shoots me tapers off into genuine worry. “Tell me what’s wrong. Why can’t you sleep?”

I perch on the edge of the bed and take his hand in my lap, tangling our fingers. “I don’t really want to go into it now, but I’ve been having trouble sleeping since I can remember. The pills help, but they also mess with my concentration. I can usually fall asleep at home, but…”

Realization washes over his face. “But you aren’t home now.”

I shrug. “Yeah.” And I don’t know when I will be. Or if I will be able to return. But there is no point worrying about that right now, or the risks that we are taking. I’ll solve one problem at a time.

“Shit. I’m sorry. That I dragged you into this.”

I cup his cheek, rubbing it with my thumb. “It’s not your fault, sunshine. Remember, I wasn’t even supposed to take the call.”

“Yeah, but still…” He worries his bottom lip. Then he wraps his arms around me sideways and pulls me toward him until my legs are stretched on the bed.

A distant look settles on his face, and I leave him and his thoughts alone, enjoying our closeness in silence for a few minutes. It’s nice. Comfortable. I could get used to it, I think. One of his hands moves to my head and starts massaging my scalp. Without meaning to, I relax. It’s been so long since I lay down next to someone like this. His lips find my temple and kiss it. I sigh and hug him back, closing my eyes as I breathe him in.

I’ll keep them like this just for a couple moments. Just until he gets uncomfortable being crushed against my chest like my own personal cuddling toy.

Sighing as my body relaxes even further, I kiss the top of his head. “Stay like this, Teddy Bear. Just for a couple more minutes. Then you can tell me to fuck off.”

“Shh,” he coos sternly, throwing a leg over me as he shares some of his blanket. “Less talking and more hugging.”

Less talking and more hugging sounds perfect. But just for five more minutes. After that, I’m getting up.

The floorboards outside Shane’s room creak. I lift my head off the pillow. He’s not in his bed. Strange. Did he get thirsty?

The boards creak again. I squint at the door. His room faces the backyard, so it’s very dark. I barely make out the outlines of the furniture. Why didn’t he turn the night lamp on? There is no light seeping in under the door, either.

I mean, it’s his house. He probably knows it by heart. I’m sleeping over while my parents are away due to work. It’s some big CIA case that they aren’t allowed to talk to me about. But that’s fine; they will tell me everything one day when I get a job at the Agency. It’s what I want to do when I grow up.

After five more minutes pass and there is no trace of Shane, I decide to check what’s going on. I slip out of the room and pad down the stairs, then the corridor, until I’m in the kitchen. There’s no one. Strange.

I pour myself a glass of water, check the lounge and go back to Shane’s room. Maybe he went to sleep with his parents. He’s two years younger than me, so it wouldn’t be unusual for someone his age. But I’ll still tease him about it in the morning.

Getting comfortable in the warm bed, I close my eyes. Maybe we can go down to the beach tomorrow to collect more shells. I could make a necklace for mom for Mother’s Day next month.

The door opens. I guess Shane is back. Should I pretend I’m asleep or jump out of the bed and scare him?

I giggle, pressing my hand against my mouth to muffle the noise. Then I wait to see if he’ll call me out. He doesn’t. So, he didn’t hear me then. I guess I’ll scare him.

Very slowly, I begin to get in position by rolling to the other side. I’m already fighting off a wave of giggles. This will be so funny.

Two massive hands grab me and drag me out of the bed and into the air. My eyes go wide as I take in the masked person. This isn’t Shane. The man who’s holding me is too big and strong and scary to be my six-year-old friend.

Pain explodes in my shoulder as something sharp prickles it. I scream. Not-Shane’s hand squeezes my neck. I try to kick and claw him, but ten seconds later I’m suddenly sleepy as everything goes black.