Who Said Witness Protection Was Boring? (Mobster Mayhem #2)

14. Matthew

14

Matthew

“STOP! Let me go!”

I wake up with a start. Kieran is painfully squeezing my forearm, but I forget about that almost immediately as another plea rips out of him.

“Let me go!”

Still disoriented, I rush to turn on the reading lamp on the nightstand next to the bed. His arms wrap around me tightly, holding onto me for dear life. Somehow, I manage to reach the switch. A soft light washes this side of the room in warm yellow hues, chasing away the dark. I glance at Kieran’s face. Sweat beads his forehead and his eyebrows are knitted together in tension. He’s breathing erratically, mumbling incoherent words in-between begging for help.

What’s happening? What do I do? How do I help him? Can I help him? I’ve never dealt with anything like this before.

Wincing, Kieran claws at his forehead. But he doesn’t let go of me. Whatever has hold of him is making him cling on to me like I’m the only thing which stands between him and death.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is serious. He’s in trouble and I need to help him.

My chest squishes so tight it feels like something heavy is pressing on it. My heart aches watching him like this. Should I let it run its course, or should I wake him up? Is this some kind of sleepwalking terror episode where you aren’t supposed to wake the person up? I don’t know what to do! But I can’t not do anything either.

I lean in and hold his head against my chest. I stroke his cheek, his chin. I kiss his temple and whisper, “It’s okay, Kieran. You’re having a nightmare. Everything is okay. Shh. I’m here.”

I don’t know if it will help. I don’t know if he will hear me. But I’m here. I won’t let anything happen to him.

“Please, Kieran. Come back to me. Wake up. I’m here. You’re fine.”

He sucks in a violent breath amidst a heart-wrenching whimper. Then he shudders with an all-encompassing shiver that reverberates through my whole body. I feel it with every cell. The fear— the horror —it carries is so profound that for a few moments it throws me off center. It becomes mine and through it I feel what Kieran feels as he continues to shake.

I’m scared. I’m terrified. Of this place, of this room, of this bed. Of closing my eyes. Of falling asleep.

Suddenly, I’m there with him, wherever that is. I’m part of the nightmare. I’m tangible, solid, real. Alive. Breathing. Scared.

Kieran jolts in my arms, gasping like a man who’s just taken his last gulp of air before drowning. But I won’t let the dark water swallow him. He’s not alone anymore. He has me.

“Kieran. It’s okay. Everything is okay. I’ve got you.”

He jerks again, his eyes snapping open. They tremble and shine, scared, raw, vulnerable. And then they lock on me, bewildered and shocked. He clutches onto my shirt, inhaling me in with that same despair from earlier. Only this time it doesn’t terrify me. It makes me soar ablaze like a comet on a crash-course to an exploding star.

“Matthew…” he mutters, his voice cracked and hoarse. “I’m… Sorry…”

“Shh. It’s okay. You were having a nightmare. I’m here. Everything is okay.”

He hugs me tightly, caging me in his arms as he places his ear against my madly beating heart. “Sorry. I just… I need a minute. Please, stay like this.”

I squeeze back as viciously as he’s embracing me. Fuck, I’m so glad he’s fine . I don’t know what I’d have done if he didn’t wake up.

We stay like this for a long time. I don’t dare say anything, afraid it will break the moment. I’m sure that when he’s ready he’ll talk to me. This… episode is probably why he didn’t want to fall asleep. Why he hasn’t been sleeping. I don’t know the cause, but his breathing is stabilizing and the tremors racking through him have calmed down, so even though I’m not doing much, it must be helping.

Another fifteen minutes or so pass before he loosens his grip enough so I can reposition myself before my entire body cramps up. Once I am comfortable, I seek out his brown eyes. He’s fallen asleep again. The sight mesmerizes me, how innocent and vulnerable he looks. How calm, like nothing ever happened.

Okay, I can work with that. For now, and until he wakes up. We’ll talk then. I didn’t say anything, I pretended I didn’t notice, but he looked so tired today. It’s why I coaxed him to lie down next to me.

Throwing an arm over Kieran’s flank as he curls into the small spoon despite his bigger size, I close my eyes and drift off. It’s been so long since I’ve cuddled with someone and it shows as ten minutes later I’m out, dreaming of an old Victorian house with pomegranate trees that we used to visit when I was a child and my parents were still alive.

I wake up before Kieran. He’s blissfully asleep in my arms for about thirty minutes before he rolls over to face me and opens his groggy eyes. With the morning light filtering into the room, they look even more gorgeous, the brown in them a combination of tawny and cinnamon with a few streaks of pine green. They aren’t spooked anymore, just a little confused, like he’s not entirely sure how he’s ended up in my bed.

“Good morning, Agent Stevenson,” I say lightly, smiling at his pretty face. “How did you sleep?”

He wrinkles his nose and stretches, only taking his eyes off me when a yawn forces him to. But they are back almost immediately, imploring and a little awestruck. I’m not going to lie—I kind of like the way he’s looking at me as if he can’t believe I’m walking the earth among mortals. Alternatively, he might just be shocked and wondering if he banged last night or not. But I like to believe it’s the former.

Licking his lips, he fingers the strap of the hoodie I’m wearing. “Surprisingly good and rested…” He winces, part in embarrassment, part in apology. “I can’t believe I actually fell asleep after…”

We sit up on the opposite sides of the bed. I want to ask him a million questions but I also don’t want to overstep. I don’t think I was supposed to witness what happened last night. It’s one of those things that you don’t share with anyone but your closest people, and as much as becoming that is my ultimate goal, I’m not sure we’re quite there yet.

“You’re not going to ask?” he whispers, his voice quiet and weak.

“I don’t know if I should? I’d like to know what happened, but I won’t pressure you, Kieran. I’m sure you’ll tell me when you are ready. But…” I stand, turn around and find him studying me with an unreadable expression. “But, uh, if you have trouble sleeping alone or something, you are welcome in my bed. I promise I won’t do anything weird. Um, but if there is anything I need to know, like how to react in case you… have an episode again, tell me. Please? You kind of freaked me out.”

He chuckles and his whole face lights up. “Sorry. And thanks. I think… I might take you up on your offer.” He takes out the bottle with pills from his pocket and holds it up. “I have really bad night terrors… unless I sleep in my own bed in my apartment. That’s what… you witnessed. And…” He twiddles his thumbs. “I’ve never fallen asleep after one before. So whatever you did, I think it worked.”

I clap my hands. “Okay then. It’s decided. I’ll be your sleeping charm from now on because, clearly, I’m magical.”

He reaches over and tries to topple me back to the bed, but I dodge his hand before it can get hold of my arm. “I mean it, Matt. Thank you.”

My cheeks suddenly feel like I’ve thrown myself into a furnace. I don’t know how or why he makes me nervous like this sometimes, but it’s so sudden and out of nowhere, it catches me off guard whenever it happens.

“Yeah, no problem.” I hook a finger over my shoulder. “I’m jumping in the shower. You can commence mission ‘Scam the CIA’. I’ll be down in ten,” I blurt out, grab my towel and hide in the bathroom before he can realize I’ve turned into a tomato.