3. Luke
3
LUKE
T he sound of a door unlatching has me jerking awake. It’s still dark outside, and the chill pre-dawn air chases away any last vestiges of sleep.
The door to Isla’s room pushes open, and Isla steps into the corridor. She carries Cody wrapped in a sling around her chest, and a large coat covers the both of them. A woolen beanie is pulled over her hair, leaving the ends sticking out at all angles. She looks fucking adorable.
Isla stops when she sees me, and her mouth drops open in surprise. She takes in my wheelchair and the blanket that’s fallen from around my shoulders. Her eyes narrow in suspicion. “Did you sleep out here?”
When I said I’d provide protection, I wasn’t joking. I may be in a wheelchair, but I’m still a military man at my core. A woman needs protection, and I’ll do whatever I can to provide that.
“I said I’d keep you safe. ”
She blinks quickly and looks away, and I hope she doesn’t think sleeping outside her door is creepy. That’s the last thing I want.
I put on my best smile, and it turns into a yawn. “Is it even morning yet?”
I run a hand over my face, and it catches on stubble. I’m stiff from spending the night in my chair and I need a shower, but it’s worth it to be here to see Isla and Cody.
“It’s almost six-thirty, but he’s been up since five.”
The dark smudges under her eyes are even more pronounced since yesterday. “I’m taking him for a walk. It usually helps settle him.”
There’s no way I’m letting Isla wander around on her own when it’s still dark outside.
“I’ll join you.”
She looks at me in surprise but doesn’t protest as I follow her down the hall. I stop at the elevator, and she continues down the stairs. “I’ll see you down there.”
It’s an agonizing wait for the elevator, and I hope like hell she doesn’t try to leave without me. It’s a relief when I reach the ground floor and Isla’s waiting for me.
“You don’t have to do this. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do with your day than babysit.”
Her brow creases in a little frown, like she’s trying to figure out why I’m here. It saddens me that she’s suspicious of a guy wanting to help out.
“You’re doing the babysitting. I’m just making sure you’re okay.”
She follows me to the back door, and I stop by the coat rack. She tilts her head, her eyes narrowing, still not believing I’m here because I want to be here. Or maybe she’s wondering if I’m not capable of looking after her because I’m in a wheelchair.
“Has the club ordered you to watch me? That’s how this works, isn’t it?”
I grab my coat and shrug it over my shoulders. My gloves are in my pocket and I slip those on too, then check that Isla’s got gloves. Cody snuggles against her chest with a knitted hat covering his tiny head. “Is he going to be warm enough out there?”
I’ve been around enough babies at the clubhouse to know they get cold pretty quick, especially newborns.
Isla buttons up her coat so it covers the both of them, and his little head peeks out the top. She smiles warmly at him. “He’s got my body heat, and we won’t stay out for long.”
Satisfied they’re both ready for the cold, I push open the door and answer Isla’s question.
“I volunteered.”
What I don’t mention is that I didn’t give anyone else the opportunity to say otherwise.
I told Raiden I would spend the night here and move my stuff in tomorrow. As long as Isla and Cody are here, I’m here.
It’s stopped snowing, and the thin layer covering the ground crunches under my wheels. It’s crispy but not yet slippery.
I’m limited to where I can go around here while in my wheelchair. Raiden had the entire compound re-concreted, so it’s easy for me to get around without bumping up against uneven surfaces. Man, I owe that guy a lot.
There are some mountain trails that have boardwalks and well-tended even paths, but others are bumpy with tree roots and rocks and mud, especially with the snow we’ve had.
I’ve got a set of prosthetics, but I hate wearing them, and I don’t want to draw attention to my missing limbs by stopping to put them on. I hope a few laps of the compound is enough to give Cody whatever it is he needs to get to sleep.
Isla falls into step beside me. “I don’t think Ian’s going to come looking for me.”
At mention of her ex, my hands clench into fists. I don’t know what the asshole did, but it was enough to make her run on Christmas Eve. He doesn’t deserve Isla or Cody. “What makes you say that?”
She takes a moment to answer. “I think it will be a relief to him that I’m gone.”
I huff out a big breath. If Isla and Cody were mine, I’d search to the ends of the Earth to find them.
“Then he’s a fool.”
We round the side of the building, and the valley comes into view with the first dawn light tingeing the sky gray. There’s a narrow path that runs around to the front of the restaurant, and I drop back so we can go single file.
Isla waits for me at the front of the restaurant, staring out at the valley. I wheel up next to her, and we say nothing for a long while as the sky turns from gray to pink.
“I’m scared.” She says it so quietly I almost miss it.
My hand reaches for hers, and I curl her fingers into mine. Even through our gloves, I feel the spark of warmth that radiates from her. I have no right to hold her hand, but she doesn’t pull away.
“I won’t let him hurt you again.”
She shakes her head. “He never hurt me, not physically.” She shivers, and I tighten my grip on her fingers. “Not yet.”
Her voice wobbles, and she presses her lips together. She looks scared for a moment until she swallows it down. Her hand comes up to the Cody-shaped lump in her coat, and she rubs his back in slow circles. I wonder if she’s soothing him or herself.
A fierce protectiveness flashes through me, and with it an agonizing frustration at my limitations.
I wish I could be the man she needs; I wish I could stand up and take her in my arms and tell her it will all be okay.
If I was a whole man, I’d hunt the fucker down and make him pay for the fear he’s put into Isla. But all I can offer is protection while she’s here. While she’s in my clubhouse, where I have an adapted space, I can move freely in and my MC brothers to stand by me.
“I’m scared of what comes next,” she whispers. “I ran to get away from Ian, but I don’t know what I’m running to.”
I squeeze her hand. I can already tell from the short time I’ve known Isla that she’s a smart woman. “You’ll figure it out.”
Cody gurgles, and she glances down at him and smiles. “He’s asleep, at last.”
Relief sags her shoulders, and she sways on her feet. I put out a steadying hand. “Are you sleeping?”
She sighs. “Sometimes. But not enough.”
The answer doesn’t fill me with confidence. I spent a lot of time last night online learning everything I could about newborn babies, and it was chilling. It seems all they do is eat and poop and take short naps and cry for no reason. They literally drain their mothers who don’t get enough sleep and forget to eat.
The thought occurs to me that Isla’s been awake for hours and probably had nothing to eat. “Are you eating?”
“I had a good meal yesterday.”
She’s not sleeping, and there’s no one to help with the baby. I thought protection was what Isla needs, but that’s only half the story. She needs sleep, and food, and help with the baby.
It’s Boxing Day, but I’m calling in an emergency club meeting.
But first of all, Isla’s getting a decent meal. “We’re going inside, and I’m making you a big breakfast.”
She shakes her head. “I can’t. You’ve already done so much.”
I nudge her with my elbow, and she starts walking. “I don’t want to hear that again. You’re here as our guest, and I’m looking after you.”
She gives me a grateful look as we head inside .
Two hours later, I’ve cooked Isla eggs and bacon for breakfast. Danni is watching Cody, so Isla can take a shower and a nap.
I’ve called an emergency meeting, and now I face the grumpy faces of my MC brothers across the meeting room table.
“This better be good, Chariot. I’m hungover, and I haven’t had breakfast yet,” mumbles Snips.
Right on cue, Maggie bursts into the meeting room carrying a tray of crispy bacon. The smell wafts through the room, making the men sit up.
She’s followed by her son Benji, proudly brandishing two loaves of bread with a huge grin on his toddler face. Bettie, Danni’s oldest, carries the ketchup, holding it carefully in her chubby fingers.
“Bacon sandwiches to sweeten the sting.”
I swallow hard, hoping I’ve read my brothers right and they’re not about to turn on me and chuck me out of the club. I only got patched in a few months ago, and this is the first favor I’ve asked.
Still, calling a club meeting at nine a.m. on Boxing Day is a pretty bold move.
Maggie puts the tray in the middle of the table and the men attack the food eagerly.
I swallow nervously and glance at Raiden. The Prez has his arms folded and eyes me like my old Sergeant Major used to.
He agreed to call the meeting for me, but I’m aware of the risk he’s taking. He’s also away from his family, and his old lady doesn’t put up with any shit. I promised a week of babysitting duties if he’d hear me out.
I wait until everyone has a bacon sandwich and Maggie has herded the kids out of the room.
“Isla needs our help.”
Judge frowns and swallows a mouthful of sandwich. “Is that the woman with the baby who’s staying upstairs?”
“Yeah.”
“Seems we’re already giving her help,” grumbles Snips. He looks particularly rough this morning, and I’m reminded of the bottle of whiskey he insisted on finishing late last night.
“We’ve given her club protection,” Raiden says.
All eyes turn to Prez. He remains leaning against the wall, but the steely tone of his voice is a reminder to everyone what club protection means.
If the club offers anyone protection, then we protect them with our lives. We’re all veterans here. We all know what that means.
“Her ex might turn up, and he could be dangerous,” I state. “She claims he was never violent towards her, but a desperate man might do anything.”
There are nods all round.
“I’m moving in while she’s here,” I state. “I’ll be the main guard.”
Snips swallows his sandwich and lets out a belch. “Excuse me,” he mutters.
Barrels shifts in his seat and fixes me with a steely stare. “No offense Luke, you’re one tough motherfucker, no doubt about that, but do you think you’re the best man for this job?”
A spike of hurt pierces my chest at the implication that I might not be capable of protecting a woman. But Barrels almost made it to Sergeant Major before leaving the military. He doesn’t say it to be hurtful. He says it because he’s thinking of what’s best for the mission.
My hands clench into fists, and I push them against the arms of my chair so I rise up on my fists. Perhaps he’s right. Maybe a cripple isn’t the right choice to protect a woman. But I can guarantee no man here feels the way I do about Isla. What I lack in body parts I make up for in determination. There is no way I’d let anyone get to Isla.
“Let him try me.” I grit out the words, and the room falls silent. Several sets of eyes stare at me in surprise.
Then Bit Rate chuckles. “You’ve got it bad, man.”
I turn my head, and the smile slides off his face. “I’ve got a woman and baby who are running scared. Let that fucker come near her, and I’ll show him what a cripple can do.”
It’s big talk, and I hope like hell I can follow through. But there’s no way in hell I’m leaving this up to anyone else.
Snips clears his throat. “If you’re intent on being this woman’s superhero, why the hell are we all here?”
Good point. I take a calming breath and get onto the real reason I called the meeting.
“Isla doesn’t just need protection; she’s struggling with a newborn baby. She’s up all night feeding, she’s not sleeping enough, that’s making her more anxious, and that makes the baby anxious, and then the baby doesn’t want to sleep and she sleeps even less.”
“You want us to look after her baby?” Specs looks incredulous, and I don’t blame him. He’s the only man left, apart from me, who’s still flying the single flag.
“No. I want your old ladies to.”
The guys look at each other, finally getting it.
“She needs round the clock help. She needs meals cooked for her. She needs someone to watch the baby so she can shower and get some time to herself, and she needs someone to do pick up a night feed so she can keep sleeping. Does anyone have one of those breast pump expressing thingies?” I hold my hand up and squeeze my fingers together in an attempt to mimic an expressing machine.
There are some raised eyebrows, but I’m not going to explain the hours I’ve spent on the internet learning about breastfeeding and expressing and chaffing and all this other shit I never knew I needed to know about keeping a baby alive.
Some of the men looked blank, since not all the ladies choose to breastfeed, but Hops pipes up.
“Yeah, we’ve got one that’s still works. You’ll need bags to store the milk, and new bottle nipples.”
“We’ve got some spare breast milk bags,” chimes in Barrels, which I’m pretty sure is a line the ex-First Class Sergeant never thought he’d ever say back in his military days.
The rest of the meeting turns into a discussion on what their old ladies have and what we need to buy and the best way to store breast milk. Phone calls are made to the women, and pretty soon we’ve got a roster worked out, I’ve ordered anything we don’t already have, and Kendra has arrived with the breast pump, which is a scary-looking contraception and reminds me of when I visited my cousin’s dairy farm when I was a kid.
We’ve also worked out which one of the women will do a night feed so Isla can keep sleeping once she’s got the expressing thing.
The meeting ends and the men trail out, heading to the kitchen to find another bacon sandwich.
Raiden slaps me on the back. “You did good, kid.”
His praise makes my chest swell. He’s been like a father to me since he rescued me from a dark place two years ago, and I’ll never be able to repay him for that.
“But she’s going to need some time.”
I frown at him. Are my feelings that transparent? “It’s not like that.”
He shakes his head slowly and smiles. “I can see right through you, Luke. You’re as protective of her as I was when I met Isabella.” A fond smile curls his lips when he thinks of his fiery upstart of a wife. “Just be patient. She’ll need time to heal.”
I voice the fear that eats at my belly. A fear I could only speak of to Raiden. “But what if she doesn’t want me? I’m only half a man. How can I give her what she needs?”
Raiden snorts. “You’re more of a man then most men I know, Luke. If she can’t see that, then she’s not worthy of you. ”
He squeezes my shoulder, and I’m left wondering if he’s right. Could I ever have a chance with Isla? Would it even be fair to her to expect her to be with a man like me?
I shake the thoughts from my head. That doesn’t matter now. The important thing is getting Isla help, and with the MC rallying for her, we’ll have her catching up on the sleep she needs in no time.