4. Isla
4
ISLA
M y eyes flicker open, and the first thing I notice is how quiet it is. I sit up quickly and the basinet is empty. Panic tightens my chest until I remember Danni tiptoeing in at five-thirty this morning and taking the crying Cody from the crib.
She gave me a smile and told me to go back to sleep as she carried him out of the room, his cries getting softer as she moved down the hall.
For the first few mornings I couldn’t bear my baby being taken away by strangers, and I worried he wouldn’t drink the milk I’ve been expressing and keeping in bags in the fridge. The first morning I followed Danni down the stairs, sure my baby would need his mother.
But the little guy soon settled, and Danni expertly fed him from a bottle and changed his diaper and kept him entertained with bright plastic toys from a box in the club nursery room. I did not expect a motorcycle club to have a brightly decorated room full of toys for kids of all ages and a nursing chair. Shows how much I know about MCs.
The women have been doing shifts to help, but Danni seems to be the one Cody settles the quickest with.
This is the first morning I’ve been able to go back to sleep after she takes him, content with the knowledge that my baby is just fine without me for a few hours.
I stretch luxuriously, enjoying the big soft bed and the experience of waking up on my own rather than to Cody’s cries.
How long has it been since I got to sleep in? I check my phone and it’s just after seven, which is sleeping in for me now that I’m a mother.
There’s a message from Ian, and my gut twists when I see his name.
When are you coming back?
I worked up the courage to call Ian two days ago and told him it was over. He yelled at me and told me I was embarrassing him by calling off the wedding, which confirmed I’m doing the right thing.
He never once mentioned he missed me or Cody.
I haven’t told him where I am. He’s still mad and a mad Ian could be dangerous, especially if I’ve embarrassed him, which he thinks I have. He’s been messaging me ever since .
I put my phone down and try to block out all thoughts of Ian.
Now that I’m getting more sleep, my mind is clearer. I have no doubt I made the right decision to leave. But I need to find a way to support myself and Cody for the long term, and I refuse to go begging to Ian for help.
Which means finding a job, preferably one that will be flexible around looking after my son.
I grab a shower and wash my hair, enjoying taking my time. I shave my legs for the first time in weeks and moisturize them afterwards. I’m not sure who it was that stocked the bathroom cabinet, but I have to find out and thank them. My legs are silky smooth, and I feel like a proper woman for the first time in weeks.
I towel dry my hair, but I’ve already been too long, so I don’t use the hair dryer. I need to get downstairs to see my baby and relieve Danni from her duties.
I still can’t believe how kind everyone has been. Luke organized a rotation of help, and all the women are pitching in. I’ll never be able to thank them enough.
Which is why I need to find a job and a place to live and get back on my own two feet.
I head downstairs and follow the sounds of children’s laughter to the playroom. It’s a testament to how family oriented this MC is that they have a room in their HQ that’s for kids.
Luke is in his wheelchair with a little boy, Marco, whom I’ve learned is the club President’s son, on his lap. He reads him a story that he’s too young to understand but the toddler stares up at Luke in wonder, giggling at the funny voices he makes.
Danni’s kids sit on cushions around Luke stacking colorful blocks into towers and knocking them down again.
Cody is asleep in a basinet in the corner.
Luke looks up and catches my eye. It’s like an electric shock in my veins whenever he looks at me.
He smiles at me then turns his attention back to the little boy in his lap. Damn, he looks good with a child on his lap.
My chest expands. There are good men in the world. Men that are gentle and kind and still believe women and children should be protected.
The story finishes, and as the boy climbs off Luke’s chair he scrambles over Luke’s stumps, but if it hurts him, he doesn’t show it.
I sneak over to check on Cody, and he’s sleeping peacefully.
“He went down about twenty minutes ago.” Luke wheels up behind me, and we both look down at my sleeping son. He’ll probably sleep for another twenty minutes.
Danni comes into the room. Her hair is in a 1950s roll, and her bright red lipstick is perfectly in place. She doesn’t look like a woman who’s been up with a baby since five-thirty this morning.
She gives me a warm smile and launches into a report on what Cody ate and what was in his diapers and how long he’s been asleep .
She looks down at the crib fondly. “He’s a sweet little guy.”
“Don’t you have your own kids to look after?” I’m worried that I’m imposing too much, that I’ll never be able to repay the kindnesses I’m being shown here.
Danni swipes the air in front of me as if shooing away my concerns. “What’s one more? I love babies. Kendra will come in soon to help, and Luke is great with kids.”
She says the last, giving me a pointed look that makes me blush. Is it that obvious that I’m in awe of the man who’s been my savior and my protector since I got here?
Luke moved into the bedroom next to mine upstairs, and I’m pretty sure he spends the nights sleeping in the corridor.
“Did you eat yet?” Luke asks.
He looks concerned, and it amazes me that this stranger is more concerned about my wellbeing than Ian ever was.
“Not yet.”
“Go get some breakfast,” Danni urges. “I’ll bring Cody through when he wakes up.”
I follow Luke through to the club kitchen, resisting the urge to get every door for him. I’ve learned he likes to be independent. So when we get to the kitchen, I sit on a stool and watch as he expertly maneuvers his chair around, grabbing frying pans and bacon and whisking eggs.
The chair catches on the corner of the bench, and Luke curses under his breath as he’s jolted from the knock. But he quickly realigns his wheels to take the corner.
I want to ask him about his injury, but I don’t know if it’s polite. There are so many other things I want to know about this man and how he lost his legs doesn’t seem the most important. But the wheelchair seems cumbersome, and I’m sure there must be an easier way.
“Why don’t you use prosthetics?”
He frowns into the pan of eggs he’s scrambling at a low workstation that I think has been put in just for him, and I wonder if I’ve crossed a line. He probably doesn’t want to talk about it.
“Sorry, it’s none of my business. Just curious.”
Luke stirs the eggs. “It’s fine. I have a set, and I do use them sometimes. But they’re uncomfortable. They rub against my skin and itch. I prefer my wheels. I always have.”
He grins as he spoons the eggs onto the plate next to a stack of bacon. “There were only two things I was certain of when I was growing up.” He holds up two fingers, counting them off. “One, I was going into the military and two, I was going to work with bikes.”
He sets a plate down in front of me with toast, scrambled egg and crispy bacon. I’m not gonna lie, a girl could get used to this.
I bite into the bacon, and it crunches under my teeth. I close my eyes and moan, and when I open them, Luke’s looking at me funny.
I quickly finish my mouthful. I want to know more about him, and now that I’m getting enough sleep it’s like a fog has lifted in my brain, and I’m able to hold a conversation again.
“Why those two things?”
“I loved everything with wheels when I was a kid. I had a stack of toy cars and bikes. I got my first dirt bike when I was six years old and rode it every chance I got. It wasn’t long before I started tinkering with it, taking it apart and putting it back together.”
His eyes shine when he talks, and I get a glimpse of the carefree boy he once was.
“That’s why you’re a bike mechanic.” Luke already told me he works in the bike shop out the back of the Wild Riders compound. “How about the military?”
“My father was in the military; he served with Raiden.” Something dark flashes across his face. “That’s how I ended up here.”
I cock my head, wanting to know more. I think of the little boy on his lap this morning and how I’ve seen him reach for Luke with open arms like he was family. “You’re close to Raiden and his kids.”
“I look after them sometimes when he needs me to and if I’m not working in the garage.”
He swallows his mouthful and looks down at his plate, pushing some egg around with his fork.
“I was in a dark place after I came back from Afghanistan.” His brow furrows, and for a moment he’s back there again. Darkness and pain come into his eyes, and I feel the waves of loss emanating from him.
I lay my hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. ”
He shakes his head as if clearing the memory. “Raiden found me when I was down. He offered me an opportunity here. I don’t know where I’d be if he hadn’t saved me. I’d do anything for that man.”
He says it simply, and I see the fierce loyalty in his statement. He stabs a piece of bacon with his fork and pops it in his mouth.
My heart goes out to this man who gave so much for his country and is still a military man at heart, protecting me and loyal to Raiden.
There are still good men in this world, and I’m being cared for by one of them. My heart flutters in my chest, and I wonder what it would be like to be loved by a man like Luke who’s protective and thoughtful, loyal and kind.
But he’s just doing his duty. It’s obvious he misses the military and having a purpose. Raiden must have told him to look after me, and he’s following orders. He said himself that he’d do anything for Raiden.
Besides, what does a single mom with no job and a possibly violent ex have to offer a man like Luke? I’m damaged and broken, and even if he saw me as something more, I’m not good enough for a good man like Luke.