Wild Devotion (Wild Heart Mountain: Wild Rider’s MC #13)

6. Luke

6

LUKE

S omething startles me awake, and my chair rattles as I jolt in my seat. I peer into the darkness of the corridor and hear it again.

Footsteps.

Someone’s creeping up the clubhouse stairs. I roll the blanket off my shoulders and drop it silently to the floor. I don’t want it getting in the way if I have to launch myself at anyone.

Slowly I turn my chair around to face the corridor and stretch my arms out, flexing my muscles. If Isla’s asshole ex has come for her, he’s going to get a hell of a surprise.

The stairs creak, and a curly haired head comes into view.

Maggie gasps when she sees me at the end of the corridor wide awake and glaring at her.

“What the fuck, Luke?” she hisses, keeping her voice low. “You gave me a heart attack. ”

“What are you sneaking around for?” I try to keep my voice low, but the adrenaline is still pumping.

Isla says Ian doesn’t know where she is, but his texts are getting more and more erratic. The guy hasn’t accepted her decision to leave him yet.

“I came to check on Cody. I haven’t heard any cries yet, and he’s usually awake by now.”

I check my watch and it’s six-thirty a.m. It’s hard to tell it’s morning when it’s still dark outside. Usually Cody’s cries wake me up at about the same time that Danni or Maggie or Kendra arrives to take the morning shift.

But he’s quiet this morning.

“Do you think he’s okay?” Maggie looks anxious. “You spend all the time wanting them to sleep through, but when they do it scares the shit out of you.”

She gives a nervous laugh, but I’m not taking any chances. “I’ll take a look.”

I open the door more carelessly than I should if there’s a sleeping baby, but the silence has me rattled.

Without trying to be quiet, I wheel up to the basinet as fast as I can. My heart’s racing as I peer over the top of the basinet.

Cody’s laying on his back with one arm thrown over his head. I lean forward as far as I can until I see his little chest rising and falling and I’m satisfied he’s breathing.

Maggie has come up next to me, and we give each other a relieved smile.

He’s sleeping. He’s finally sleeping past five thirty .

I glance over at Isla. The glow from the nightlight bathes the room in a golden light, giving her a warm glow. She sleeps on her side facing the basinet, her body curled tight and her hair falling over the pillow behind her. My breath catches at the sight of her, so fucking beautiful.

Her mouth is open, and even in sleep there’s a slight frown on her face.

I long to climb into the bed with her. To wrap my arms around her body and pull her close. But she’s not mine to touch, and even if she was, how strange would it feel for her if she nuzzled back into me and found only half a man behind her.

I turn around awkwardly in the small space and follow Maggie out of the room. She closes the door quietly behind us.

“I’ll go put a pot of coffee on and start prepping the kitchen.” Maggie’s the pastry chef here at the Wild Taste Restaurant, which is part of the club HQ. She’s been doing the early shifts with Cody to coincide with her work shifts.

She looks as pleased as I do that Cody’s still asleep. I may not have babies of my own, but I’ve spent the last two weeks since Isla and Cody turned up reading everything I can about them. So I know what a triumph it is when they sleep through the night.

“You want a coffee?” Maggie asks.

I shake my head. “I’ll stay up here.” I’m rattled from earlier, thinking it might have been Ian on the stairs. “I’ll text you when he wakes. ”

Maggie heads downstairs, and I turn my chair around to take up position outside of Isla’s room.

Isla may think Ian won’t find her, but I know what desperate men will do. I’m not taking any chances.

It’s not until almost seven that Cody wakes, and by then Isla gets up with him. I retreat into my room when I hear them moving about. I moved into the room next to Isla’s for as long as she’s here. It’s the one Raiden had renovated to accommodate my wheelchair, so I’d always have a place to crash if I needed it.

I have my own ground level apartment in Wild, but I stayed here for a few weeks when I first joined the club. It’s just one more thing I’m grateful to Raiden for.

My apartment is a rental, but I’ve been saving my money and working on designs for an accessible cabin. I’m planning to start the build this spring and need to finalize the plans.

I head downstairs for coffee with my designs and spread them on the table. It’s all one level with one large bedroom and a home gym.

But for the first time I wonder if I’ll need extra bedrooms.

It took me a long time to accept my disability and my new way of moving through life. But once I did, I was determined not to let it slow me down. I’ve adapted a motorbike, I’ve pushed myself at the gym, I’ve been on every charity run with the club since I got patched. I’ve got a good life here .

A single life.

Until a few weeks ago, I was fine with that. I’d resigned myself to living a bachelor life, because what woman would want me? And I hadn’t met a woman that sparked my interest anyway.

A few times Arlo dragged me out to the White Out club or the rougher Wild Times bar in Wild which has no ramp, so I have to wear my prosthetics and be uncomfortable all night. But all I see is pity in the eyes of the women who bother to talk to me.

Arlo says I should use that, that some women are willing to do anything to thank returning servicemen. But I don’t want to be anyone’s pity fuck, and I don’t need thanks for serving. It was my duty to serve this country, and I didn’t do it to pick up women.

But here’s the truth. I don’t know if I can be with a woman. My dick still works, and it’s been hard a hell of a lot since Isla walked into the clubhouse.

But the thought of being intimate with a woman makes me nervous. How can I be naked, how can I show my mangled stumps of legs without turning a woman off?

I couldn’t handle seeing the horror in a woman’s eyes when the reality of what I hide under my specially tailored slacks is exposed.

Better the single life for me.

I crumple up the piece of paper with my crude design for my cabin. I won’t be needing those extra rooms. An accessible kitchen, bathroom, bedroom and gym. That’s all this single man needs .

It’s later in the day, and I’ve been working out in the repair shop. I like to come in during my lunch break to check on Isla and Cody. As I come in the back door, I hear women’s laughter from the office. It sounds like Isla; I’ve heard her laugh a couple of times but never as carefree as this.

My chair catches on the doorframe as I go through the almost too narrow doorway, and I graze my knuckles. Ignoring the pain I wheel to the office, wondering what she’s finding so funny.

Isla sits in an office chair with a laptop open on the desk in front of her. Bit Rate leans over her furiously clicking the keys. Their heads are almost touching.

My stomach tightens as jealousy courses through me.

“What are you doing?” I grit out.

Isla startles at my abrupt tone, and her hand flies to her chest. “Luke, you scared me.”

I turn my scowl to Bit Rate. He should know better than to be in here flirting with Isla. He’s just confessed his love to his nanny. He should be at home with her and not here hanging over Isla.

He raises his eyebrows at me, looking amused.

“I’m getting Isla’s laptop set up.” His amused look turns to a grin, and I get the feeling he can see right through me. He holds his hands up in the air and steps away from her. “You okay with that? Or does it need to go on the schedule?”

He’s teasing me, but I can’t stop the thundering of my heart. Isla looks between us with a frown on her face, and the last thing I want to do is upset her. She told me she had a job helping Barrels with marketing and Bit Rate does the club IT, so it seems legit.

“What schedule?” Isla asks.

Bit Rate’s grin widens, and he’s enjoying this. “Didn’t Luke tell you? He organized a schedule to make sure there was always someone on hand to look after Cody.”

Isla turns to me. “That was you?”

I look away. It’s too painful to see the appreciation in her eyes. If I was any other man, she might throw her arms around me and I’d sweep her off her feet. But I’ll never be that man.

“Of course it was him,” says Bit Rate. “He’s the one who asked Barrels about the job too.”

I cut Bit Rate a look, because I didn’t want Isla to know I’ve done this all for her. She might feel weird about it.

But when I glance at her, there are tears in her eyes. “Luke,” she whispers, “that’s the kindest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

“It’s nothing,” I mumble. I want to say I’d do it for anyone, but I don’t know if that’s true.

I’m saved from the awkward situation by the sounds of Cody crying somewhere down the hall. Isla pushes her chair back. “It’s time for his next feed.”

As she brushes past me, she touches my shoulder. I glance up at her and our eyes lock. “Thank you.” She leans down, and her lips brush against my cheek.

It’s a friendly kiss, a thank you kiss. But I close my eyes and breathe in deep, savoring her scent of milk and lavender and baby powder.

When I open my eyes, Isla’s gone and Bit Rate’s, staring at me shaking his head slowly from side to side. “Are you going to make a move or just moon over her for another two weeks?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

He snort laughs. “You’ve had it bad since she turned up, Luke. And I get it, she’s dealing with a situation, but it’s been two weeks, man. It’s obvious to everyone how you feel about her. You got everyone in the club running after this woman. And you know why we’re doing it? Because we all know she’s going to be your old lady. So put us all out of our misery and make it official, please.”

He’s half teasing, but he doesn’t understand. I glance down at my lap and the useless stumps where legs should be. “I can’t.”

Bit Rate pulls out the chair and maneuvers it around until he’s facing me. “What’s holding you back?”

I snort laugh, because he must be joking. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m missing both my legs and I’m in a wheelchair.”

Bit Rate winces. “You think Isla gives a shit about that?”

“Of course she does. No woman wants half a man. No matter how good a person they are.”

“Luke, you’re sleeping outside her room, you’re feeding her every day, you’ve organized a team to help her with the baby, and you got her a job. If she’s worried about a few missing limbs, then I’ve read her all wrong and she doesn’t deserve you.”

He’s gone from teasing to earnest. “Trust me, what women really want is a kind heart, someone who supports them, and blind devotion. If you can give her those things, then she’ll give them right back. And when that happens…” He sits back and smiles, no doubt thinking about Freya. “…it’s a beautiful thing. Take it from this old man. If you have a chance, you’ve got to grasp it with both hands.”

He makes it sound so easy. But I’ve never had a serious relationship before. Even if Isla was interested, I have no idea where to begin.

“How?”

Bit Rate leans back in his chair. “Take her out, have some fun. Show her who you are and make her remember she’s a woman and not just a mom.”

What he’s saying makes sense. Maybe if Isla really knew me, she could see past the chair, past what’s missing. But what if she can’t?

“I’m scared.”

Bit Rate chuckles. “We’re all fucking scared when we find the woman we love. But just remember, you can face down anything. The enemy did their worst to you, and you survived. You’re a badass motherfucker, Luke. Now go out there and get your girl.”